Re:Vangelion - Re: Life to a World of Mechs

The next day brought milder weather, but the air was still heavy due to recent events. Shinji and I rode together in Misato's car, accompanied by Ritsuko and the NERV cleanup department team. Our destination was the place where the last Angel had been defeated, now a field of debris and residual energy.

I stared out the window, trying to process the environment. "It's strange to think that all this destruction happened in such a short time... It seems surreal."

Misato, at the wheel, answered without taking her eyes off the road. "Yeah... And the worst part is having to clean it all up afterwards..."

Shinji, sitting next to me, seemed introspective. He was still processing his decision to stay. Even so, his expression showed signs of determination that had not been there before.

When we arrived at the impact area, the view was frightening. Virtually melted forests, broken streets and a huge hole in the ground marked the place where the Angel had been defeated. Silence reigned, interrupted only by the sounds of the cleaning crew unloading equipment and organizing their tasks.

Ritsuko, ever serious, gave the team some instructions. "Make sure to collect samples from all levels. We need data on biological and energy waste. This can help us understand the behavior patterns of the next Angels."

I watched the scientists work closely. I had never seen this side of NERV so closely. "You analyze all this to predict the 'future', don't you?" I said with a smile on my face.

Ritsuko, without taking her eyes off the tablet she was holding, replied: "More or less. We try to understand, but the Angels are unpredictable. The most we can do is be minimally prepared."

Meanwhile, Misato called the two of us. "You two, stay close to me. We don't know if there is radiation or other dangerous things around here."

I nodded, but I couldn't contain my curiosity. I crouched down near a crater and noticed small, shiny fragments on the ground, like shards of metallic glass. "What is this?"

Ritsuko approached, curious. She examined the fragments with a small tool she carried. "Remnants of the Angel's core. They still emit traces of energy."

"Is this dangerous?" I asked, stepping back a little.

"Not directly, but don't touch them. These particles may contain valuable information about the Angel's composition."

Shinji watched everything silently, but I could tell he was trying to understand more about what he was facing. "Are you okay, Shinji?"

Shinji nodded. "I'm just... trying to understand. Why do they come? Why do we need to fight them? If they are angels, why do we have to fight them."

Misato placed a comforting hand on Shinji's shoulder. "That's exactly what we're trying to figure out."

Shinji sighed, but didn't answer. The day continued with the gathering of information, and although I felt a little out of place, I tried to take it all in. I knew that somehow there was a purpose to being here.

While the cleaning crew did their work, Ritsuko led us all to a makeshift tent with computers and analysis equipment. The soft light from the monitors illuminated everyone's serious faces. Ritsuko typed quickly on the keyboard, bringing up a series of graphs and data that flashed on the screen.

"I'm going to show you something that will probably change your perspective on all of this..." she began, adjusting her glasses and pointing to a section of the monitor.

On the screen, two DNA sequences appeared side by side. One was labeled "Human," while the other was labeled "Angel." Ritsuko zoomed in on the image, highlighting the similarities.

"Although the materials from which Angels are made are completely different from those of biological and energetic humans, and there are other components that we are still trying to understand, their DNA is, in essence, almost identical to ours."

My eyes widened, clearly shocked. "Wait… are you saying that the Angels are… our kindred or something? That doesn't make sense!"

Misato, arms crossed, looked annoyed but not surprised. "We already suspected that. But seeing it in concrete terms always makes an impact."

Shinji stared at the screen, trying to process what he was hearing. "So… why do they attack us? If we're so similar, what's their purpose?"

Ritsuko sighed. "That's the question everyone here at NERV is trying to answer, Shinji. So far, all we know is that the Angels have a specific goal. They're after something. Each attack they make seems to be a step toward that goal, and it's our job to stop them."

I frowned uneasily. "But that doesn't explain everything. There has to be something else behind it, something we're missing."

Ritsuko gave a little ironic smile. "Well, you may be right. There are a lot of things about the angels that we do not yet understand completely. But knowing that they share this similarity with us already changes the way we look at this war."

Shinji, still looking at the screen, muttered, "Maybe ... they are trying to send a message ..."

Everyone was silent for a moment, considering those words.

Misato broke the silence with a firmer voice. "In any case, that doesn't change our work. They are still a threat, and we need to face them, regardless of their reasons. But ..."

I was thoughtful as I watched the DNA sequences on the screen. Something in that pattern made him restless, but I couldn't say exactly what. I knew there was more in that story, something I might have to find out on my own.

As they watched the data and the area around, Shinji looked at the horizon and saw a familiar figure. It was generating Ikari, his father, walking calmly next to some other members of Nerv. Even from afar, Shinji was able to notice something strange: his father's hands were ... burned.

His view made him frown, and his mind began to run. Misato noticed his expression and poked him lightly on his arm. "Shinji, is it all right? You look ... uncomfortable."

Shinji hesitated before answering, his still -fixed eyes. "His hands ... are burned. Why?"

Misato, taking the tone of concern in his voice, also looked at where I was. "Burning? Hm ..." She seemed thoughtful, but she didn't have an immediate answer. "What happened, do you know Ritsuko?"

Ritsuko, who was still by our side, heard the conversation and sighted before intervening. "This happened recently, Shinji. Before you arrived here at Nerv. There was an incident with Eva 00 during an activation test."

Shinji turned to her, confused and anxious. "What happened? He ... He tried to help?"

Ritsuko shook his head slowly, his neutral expression, but his tone carried a certain weight. "Eva 00 came into Berserk mode. It happened while Ayanami was synchronized with him. The control was completely lost, and she got stuck in the entrance capsule. Sr. Ikari was the only one who acted fast enough to try to get her out of there. The burns happened during the process. "

Shinji blinked, stunned. He tried to imagine that moment, but his mind rejected his father's idea acting so impulsively to someone. "He ... saved the Rei?"

Ritsuko nodded. "Yes. He didn't hesitate."

I was listening to the conversation in silence, I looked at Shinji, realizing the mix of emotions on the boy's face. I knew that Shinji had a complicated relationship with Gendo, and this new information just seemed to increase his confusion.

Misato put his hand on Shinji's shoulder, trying to offer some comfort. "Maybe this shows that he cares more than it seems, Shinji. Even if he doesn't know how to show it the right way."

Shinji remained silent for a moment, looking at the floor. So he murmured, "He never.... worried about me..."

That question was in the air, loaded with pain. But the weight of his emotions was evident. He walked away a little, looking again at the distance, as if he tried to find answers in that man who seemed so unattainable.

I remained quiet, observing the interaction between Shinji and the others. But when he heard about the incident with Eva 00, something began to form in my mind. I crossed my arms, thoughtful as I thought of king.

I remembered the first time I found Rei in that Eva. Her state had been worrying: bandages covering almost the whole body, visible bruises, and deep tiredness in her eyes. I closed my fists, feeling a knot in the stomach.

"So that's it..." I thought to myself. "It was because of that incident that she was so injured. That's why it seemed so... fragile."

I tried to ward off the reminder of Rei's apathetic expression that day, but it was difficult. Even now, with her apparently well, I couldn't help thinking about how vulnerable she had been at that moment.

"Subaru?" Misato called me, breaking my concentration.

I turned quickly, trying to look more focused. "Yes?"

"Are you very silent. Is everything okay?" She asked, with a genuine concern in her eyes.

I hesitated, but I ended up shaking my head. "I just... I was thinking of all this. How hard it was for her... and also to Shinji..."

Misato just sighed.

"Maybe that's why she seems so disconnected from the world..." I thought "after going through something like that..."

In my heart, I made a silent promise: I would not let Rei or Shinji face it alone again. Not as long as I could do something about it.

A few hours later...

The court was full of muffled sounds of bouncing balls and scattered laughs, but in the corner of the stands. Me, Shinji, Toji, Kensuke and some other boys were sitting, resting from the basketball match. Toji, always with her provocative way, took the opportunity to play with me.



"Hey, Subaru, it's no use disguising ..." said Toji, with a malicious smile. "Everyone saw you looking at Rei across the pool."

I widened my eyes, getting red instantly. "What? I wasn't looking at anyone!"

Kensuke laughed, adjusting his glasses. "Yeah, of course. So why did you seem so concentrated? Analyzing her swimming technique, is that it?"

"You ..." I grumbled, crossing my arms and looking away. But I knew I couldn't deny completely. I had really lost myself in thought when watching Rei on the other side, swimming with fluid and accurate movements.

Shinji, who was sitting next to me, looked at me curious. "Do you like her?"

I widened my eyes again, almost choking on the direct question. "It's not that! I just ... I just find it interesting, that's all. She's so ... different."

"Interesting, is it?" Toji mocked, with an even bigger smile. "Dude, this is the most cliche way to say you like someone."

I rolled my eyes, trying to focus on anything else, but the friends' joke tone continued.

"If so, you have the courage." Said Kensuke, laughing. "Ayanami is practically a mystery. I don't know how someone can get close to her without being intimidated."

"I wouldn't say that ..." I answered more seriously this time. "She may seem distant, but ... I think she has only difficulty expressing herself. It doesn't mean she's not a doll or something ..."

The tone of the conversation changed a little with my words, and Shinji looked at me with an expression of curiosity and maybe even ..... admiration?

Toji, however, quickly broke the moment. "See? You're in love! Only those who like you say these things."

I sighed, putting my hands on the face. "Maybe I'm really ..." There was a slight smile.

Across the court, the girls kept swimming, completely oblivious to the conversation. But I was trying to ignore myself myself, I couldn't avoid one last look toward Rei. Maybe there was something else in that, after all.

I couldn't avoid the question that was around me: Why did Rei seem so alone? I still remembered how I found her injured and how she seemed to carry something heavy in her empty look.

While I was lost in my thoughts, Kensuke broke the silence:

"She has always been like this, you know? Since you arrived at school. Don't talk to anyone, it's just in her corner."

I looked at Kensuke, processing what he said, but before he could answer, some girls who were in the stands on the other side of the court realized that the boys looked at Rei. They started toy and laugh at each other, and one of them pointed at mine direction.

"Hey, it seems that the rookie is interested in Ayanami ..." One of the girls played, her tone was malicious but not hostile. "That strange girl?"

Realizing what was happening, I felt my face warm, especially when I noticed that Rei had lifted my eyes, looking straight at me. It was not a trial look, but it was enough to make me uncomfortable.

Before Kensuke or Toji could add more wood in the fire, I had an idea. I turned abruptly to Toji, who was about to release another provocation.

"If you want to imply me, Toji, let's make it fun!" I exclaimed as I used both fingers to tighten the toji nostrils, making him struggle like a fish out of water.



"Subaru, you crazy! Let me go!" Toji shouted, but it was impossible not to laugh at the situation.

The girls began to laugh loudly in the stands. Kensuke was folded from laughing, and even Shinji couldn't avoid a shy smile as he looked at them.

However, as I released Toji, I took one last look at Rei, still hoping that, maybe she had found it funny. But her look was the same as usual, calm, distant, without any evident emotion.

It made me hesitate for a moment. As my friends and girls laughed, something inside me seemed restless. I didn't know exactly why, but I wanted to understand more about that mysterious girl that seemed to carry an invisible weight.

Even so, I tried to push the thought for now, returning to the mess with Toji and the others. After all, he knew that, to approach Rei, I would have to do it at her.

After class, Shinji and I walked together to NERV. The atmosphere between us was calmer, but I could still feel a certain weight in Shinji's gaze, as if he was carrying something he didn't want to share. We walked in silence for most of the way, until Shinji finally spoke: "You seem to get along with people well, Subaru. Isn't it hard for you?"

I was surprised by the question, but I answered in a sincere tone:

"You know Shinji... When I was a kid, I had a certain ease in fitting in with people, but as I grew up, that changed..." I gave a short laugh, remembering Toji's teasing earlier. "Usually, people find me more annoying than someone 'sociable'."

Shinji just didn't answer directly.

When we arrived at NERV, Misato greeted us at the main entrance. She seemed more relaxed than usual, although she still maintained the serious posture typical of her job.

"Well, boys, we have something special today." Misato said with a slightly teasing smile.

She pulled a small envelope from her coat pocket and handed it to me. I looked at her, confused.

"This is a special NERV card." Misato continued. "With this, you will be granted access to some areas that would normally be restricted to civilians. Of course, there are still limitations, but... considering what you've been through and what you've done, we thought it would be useful in some way."

I took the card and remained silent for a few seconds, studying it. The design was minimalist, with the NERV logo in one corner, a photo of me, and my name printed in small letters. I looked at Misato, surprised.

"Why? I mean, why do I need this?"

Misato crossed her arms and tilted her head slightly, as if choosing the right words.

"You've been involved in more critical situations than I'd like, Subaru. If something happens again, you better have a way to get around without relying on other people all the time."

Shinji watched the interaction in silence, but seemed slightly intrigued by Misato's decision. I, on the other hand, was still processing everything.

"So, basically, I'm like an honorary employee?" I joked, trying to ease the tension I felt.

"Don't get too excited!" Misato replied, smiling. "That doesn't mean you can go messing around. Just follow the rules, okay?"

I put the card in my pocket and thanked her, but I still felt a weight on the decision. I didn't know if I was ready to take on any responsibility that it might bring, but for now, I decided to trust Misato.

"So... what do we do now?" Shinji asked, diverting his attention to something else.

"You guys come with me. We need to do a routine check on the Evas..." Misato said, as she started walking towards the elevator.

I looked at Shinji, who just shrugged before following her. As we walked, I thought about what that card really meant and how it could change my relationship with NERV and everything that was happening around me.

While Shinji was inside the locker room, preparing for the synchronization test, I stayed outside, leaning against the wall. I watched the people from NERV moving from one side to the other, all with serious and focused looks. The atmosphere in the place was always so tense that I tried to find something to distract myself, even if it was a silly thought.

That's when I heard light footsteps approaching. I looked up and saw Rei Ayanami walking towards me. She was already dressed in her white plug-suit, which looked almost futuristic, molded perfectly to her body. There was something fascinating about the way she kept that calm and distant look, as if she were in a completely different world.

I, being who I was, couldn't help but try to break the silence.

"Rei, you know... if I knew you wore something like that to work, I think I would have tried harder to be a pilot too." I said with a smirk, trying to sound relaxed.

Rei paused for a moment, looking directly at me with her deep, expressionless eyes. She tilted her head slightly, as if she was analyzing my words.

"Why?" she asked, with a neutral tone.

I was a little disconcerted by her direct answer. I expected at least a reaction or a smile, but Rei seemed genuinely confused.

"Well..." I replied, laughing awkwardly. "I mean, the plug-suit suits you, it looks like it was made for you."

Rei blinked slowly, still without changing her expression. "It's functional. There's no other reason to wear it."

I scratched the back of my neck, not knowing whether to laugh or give up on continuing the conversation. But something inside me compelled me to try again, perhaps to fill that void of interaction. "So... they've never hit on you before, right?"

Rei was silent for a moment, as if processing the question. "Hit on me? I don't understand what that means."

I sighed and shook my head, but with a smile on my face. "It's like... a compliment people give when they want to get the attention of someone they like."

Rei remained quiet, but there was something in the way she looked at me that seemed like a mix of curiosity and indifference.

"Do you like me?... I don't see the need for that..." she finally answered. "If something needs to be said, it should be direct. I don't see the point in complicating the words."

I laughed lightly. "You really are unique, you know? I think that's what makes you interesting."

Rei didn't answer this time. Instead, she looked away to the hallway ahead, as if the conversation had ended in her mind.

I decided not to press any further. I knew that forcing something with Rei would lead nowhere, but at the same time, there was something captivating about the way she interacted, or lack thereof. I could tell that, although she might seem distant, there was a complexity to her that I didn't yet understand.

Before I could think to say anything else, a soft alarm sound echoed through the halls, indicating that the synchronization tests were about to begin. Rei turned to head toward the control room, and I stayed behind, watching her walk away.

"Definitely unique…" I muttered to myself, a soft smile on my face.

I was watching the synchronization test on the observation screen next to Misato. I could see the graphs rising and falling, while Shinji and Rei's data were displayed in real time. Shinji seemed to be doing well, but he noticed that Rei's numbers were very stable, almost perfect.

"Impressive, huh?" Misato said, her arms crossed. "Rei has a consistent synchronization rate like no other. That's why she's so important to NERV."

I nodded but didn't respond. I was more focused on the display, trying to understand how those numbers and graphs represented what was happening inside the Evas. Part of me wondered what it would be like to be in there. I imagined the psychological weight of piloting something so gigantic, facing monsters that could destroy an entire city.

When the test was over, everyone involved began to leave the room. Shinji seemed a little tired, but still calm, while Rei, as always, had that impassive expression. I walked down some corridors, without much hurry, until, as I turned a corner, I saw something that made me stop.

From afar, I saw Rei talking to none other than Gendo Ikari. The sight made me uncomfortable immediately. Gendo had that imposing and cold presence that would make anyone hesitate, but what really caught my attention was Rei's expression.

She was smiling.

It wasn't a wide or emotional smile, but something very subtle, almost imperceptible. Still, it was enough to make my chest tighten slightly.

"So she knows how to smile..." I muttered to myself, trying to hide the slight jealousy that was starting to grow.

I didn't know what they were talking about. It was impossible to hear the conversation from a distance, but it seemed serious. Gendo also seemed happy, his hands clasped in front of his face, while Rei listened attentively and answered occasionally.

I crossed my arms and looked away, trying to push away the thoughts that were starting to bother me. Why was this affecting him so much? I didn't even know exactly what I felt for Rei, but seeing her smile like that - something she never did to me or anyone else - made me uneasy.

"Subaru?"

The soft voice pulled him out of my thoughts. I turned around and saw Shinji, who seemed a little surprised to find me standing there.

"Ah, Shinji. I was just... waiting for you to get out of the test." I said quickly, trying to hide it.

Shinji looked in Gendo and Rei's direction, but didn't say anything. His closed expression indicated that he also didn't feel comfortable with the scene.

"So she knows how to smile... let's go back..." Shinji said, starting to walk.

I took one last look at Rei, who was still talking to Gendo, before following Shinji through the hallways. Even as I walked, the image of that discreet smile stayed in my mind. For some reason, I couldn't forget it.

A few hours later...

It was a typical evening at Misato's apartment, a mix of chaos and improvisation. Shinji, Misato, and I were sitting at the makeshift table, which had everything but dishes suitable for a proper dinner. Ritsuko, a last-minute guest, was sitting next to Misato, with an expression of skepticism that mixed exasperation and resignation.

Misato, with all her carefree energy, brought a pile of canned and frozen foods to the table. "Here it is, everyone! A feast fit for champions!" she said, with a triumphant smile.

I looked at the table and tried not to frown. There was an open can of sardines, instant noodles that had clearly been cooked too long, and something that looked like meat but was dipped in a generic sauce that smelled like pure chemistry.

Shinji picked at the noodles with his chopsticks, trying to hide his lack of appetite. Ritsuko, on the other hand, held back a laugh as she watched Misato's culinary "masterpiece."

"This is... well, innovative to say the least..." Ritsuko commented, taking a bite of the noodles cautiously.

Since my expectations were low, I decided to give it a try. I took a bite of what looked like rice, but discovered that it was mixed with bits of canned tuna and, inexplicably, sweet beans.

"This is... unique..." I said, trying to mask my expression of disgust.

Meanwhile, Pen-Pen was sitting at the corner of the table, his plate served. I looked at him and noticed the penguin's "feast": cold instant noodles, pieces of canned fish and, to my surprise, a small can of beer next to it. Pen-Pen looked at me with eyes that practically begged for help.

"Misato, did you give Pen-Pen beer again?" I asked, pointing to the penguin's plate.

"He likes it! Besides, he's a responsible adult." Misato replied, taking a sip of her own beer. Misato was indeed irresponsible.

Pen-Pen made a low sound, as if he was trying to protest, but soon resigned himself and poked the noodles with his beak, clearly dissatisfied.

"I think even Pen-Pen deserves something better..." he said, taking the plate from the penguin and standing up. "I'll see if I can improvise something."

"Ah, what a drama!" Misato said.

As I walked into the kitchen, Ritsuko looked at Misato and said, "You should sign up for some basic cooking class. This is a public appeal."

The table burst into laughter, except for Misato, who was too drunk to retort. Pen-Pen was looking at me with a gleam of hope in her eyes.

While everyone was still at the table, Ritsuko took a NERV ID card out of her purse pocket. It was an updated model, with a more modern design and vibrant colors.

"Oh, I almost forgot..." Ritsuko said, handing the card to me. "This is Rei's new ID card. I was going to give it to you in person, but honestly, I always end up getting distracted by other things. Can you do it for me tomorrow, Subaru?"

I looked at the card. Rei's picture was there, with her usual expression, almost neutral, but somehow charming. I stared at the photo for a few seconds, lost in thought.

Misato noticed immediately and started laughing loudly, in her typical easygoing manner. "Hey, hey, Subaru, are you in love or something?"

I immediately blushed, waving my hands in protest. "N-N-No, it's not that! I was just... thinking about how she looked so... serious in the picture."

"Oh, sure..." Misato replied, winking at him playfully. "You were just admiring her 'seriousness', right? I get it."

Shinji, who was sitting next to me, looked at me with mild curiosity, but didn't say anything. Pen-Pen, on the other hand, let out a low sound as if she was laughing at the situation.

Ritsuko, who was usually more serious, also gave a slight smile. "Well, in love or not, just make sure you give this to her, okay? It's important that all pilots have their IDs up to date."

I snorted, still blushing. "Okay, okay, I'll give it to her. But could you guys stop making it seem like something else?"

Misato took another sip of her beer and laughed again. "Relax, kid. We're just kidding. But if you want some advice on how to pick up girls, I'm here!"

"I'll pass..." I answered quickly, as I put the card in my pocket.

The night continued with laughter and jokes, but I couldn't get the expression on Rei's photo out of my head, wondering why she always seemed so distant and, at the same time, so fascinating.

The next day...

The next morning, I went to the address Ritsuko had given me, Rei Ayanami's apartment. I climbed the stairs of an old, poorly maintained building, where each step made the floor creak. Arriving at the indicated floor, I found a simple door, with nothing but a faded number stuck to it.

I knocked on the door a few times.

"Rei? It's Subaru. I have something to give you."

Nothing. No answer. I tried again, knocking harder this time. The silence that followed was so absolute that it seemed to drown out the sound of my own heartbeat.

With a mixture of hesitation and curiosity, I turned the doorknob. It was unlocked. I slowly opened the door and peeked inside.

What I saw made my stomach churn.

The apartment was small, almost claustrophobic. The floor was covered in scattered clothes, crumpled papers, and discarded packaging. A thin layer of dust covered the surfaces, and the windows were so dirty they almost blocked out the sunlight. The air was heavy, heavy with a metallic smell I couldn't immediately identify.

I took a few hesitant steps inside. "Rei? Are you here?"

Still no answer. I noticed that on the bed was an old mattress, with no sheets, with obvious signs of wear. Next to it, a small table with medicines arranged in an almost obsessive way.

I felt a chill as I looked at the walls. There was no decoration, no photos, no personal touch. It was as if no one really lived there, despite all the signs to the contrary.

I wondered why someone like Rei would live in such a lonely and neglected place. It was hard to reconcile her image at school, always so serene, with the chaos around her.

As I started to turn to leave, something caught her eye. A soft sound came from the bathroom. As I was still examining the room, I noticed a disturbing detail: there were bloodstained bandages thrown on a chair. I wondered if that was the result of the battle with the Eva, when the accident had occurred. Near them, a pair of broken glasses caught my attention. I picked them up carefully, trying to understand the connection.

Before I could think any further, I heard the sound of light footsteps behind me. When I turned around, I saw Rei Ayanami coming out of the bathroom. She was wrapped in a towel, her damp hair stuck to her face. The sight took me completely by surprise.

"Ah, R-Rei!" I exclaimed, trying to move away, but my feet slipped on something on the floor, maybe a piece of clothing or a crumpled piece of paper. Before I could balance myself, I stumbled forward, directly towards Rei.

The impact was inevitable. I fell on top of her. Rei didn't scream, didn't react, just looked at me with her usual neutral expression, as if nothing extraordinary had happened.

"I-I... I'm so sorry!" I stammered, standing up quickly and reaching out to help her. "It was an accident, I swear!"

Rei accepted my help without saying anything, standing up calmly. Her towel remained firmly in place, although I was visibly embarrassed.

"Are... are you okay?" I asked, looking away.

"I am." She answered simply, without a trace of emotion in her voice.

The silence that followed was awkward. I didn't know what to say or do. I felt like I had invaded a space I shouldn't have, even if I had good intentions.

I tried to gather words, but my mind felt like a tangle of thoughts. I started to speak, but the words wouldn't come out as they should.

"I... I came here... I mean, I was asked to come... um... deliver something..." I stuttered a lot, my voice was wavering a lot. For a moment, I even forgot why I was there, lost in the strangeness of the situation and the discomfort of being in such an intimate space.

When I finally remembered the reason for my visit, I raised the card I was holding, trying to show it to Rei, but she had already walked away, grabbing some clothes from a nearby drawer. Before I could say anything else, she started changing right there, without any hesitation or embarrassment.

My eyes widened, and I quickly turned away, blushing violently. "Ah! I... I'm not looking! I swear I'm not looking!" I said, raising my hands in a defensive gesture, even though she couldn't see it.

Rei, as always, seemed completely indifferent. "Why are you talking so loud?" she asked, her voice calm and monotone.

"Because... because... you're changing right in front of me! I don't want you to hit me like in those animes!" I answered, still with my back turned, my voice thick with nervousness.

"I don't care about that." she replied, finishing putting on her uniform with the same serenity as before. "You said you came to give me something. What was it?"

I let out a sigh of relief when I realized she had finished changing. Turning slowly, I saw her already fully dressed, she was looking at me with her unwavering expression. I quickly held out the card, as if I wanted to end this moment as quickly as possible.

"Yes! Here it is... it's a special NERV card. Ritsuko asked me to give it to you." I said, trying to regain some composure.

Rei took the card with a small nod. "Thank you."

I scratched the back of my neck, still feeling the heat on my face. "Well, I guess that's it. I'll be going now. I don't want to bother you anymore..."

Before I could take a step towards the door, Rei asked a question that took him by surprise.

"Why do you look nervous?"

I stopped, turning to face her. "I... I'm not nervous!" I protested, although my expression and tone of voice completely betrayed him.

"You look like you are..." she answered simply.

I was silent for a few seconds, not knowing how to answer. Finally, I shook head. "I'll be waiting for you outside ..."

Rei did not answer, just kept looking at me with that calm and distant expression.

A few minutes later ...

As we walked through the streets of Tokyo-3 towards Nerv, i looked at Rei, realizing that she wore the school uniform. I hesitated a moment before asking:

"Hey Rei, you ... don't you have other clothes other than the school uniform?"

Rei looked at me with her serene eyes, as if trying to decipher the reason for the question. "I have some other pieces ..." she answered, her calm voice.

"OK I understand." I answered scratching the back of the neck. I knew she probably didn't have many options but the uniform. "But ... have you never thought of, I don't know, have more clothes? Something more comfortable or you like to wear?"

Rei lightly rocked her head. "I see no need. The uniform is enough."

I frowned, intrigued by her answer. "But it's not just about necessity, you know? Sometimes, it's good to have something that makes you feel good, something that is just ... you. Like, your identity."

Rei did not respond immediately. She seemed to ponder what she had said, something I noticed for the short break in her step and my eyes slightly farther.

I was trying to relieve the moment, smiled and said, "Look, how about that? One of these days, we can go out and take a walk. We can buy some new clothes for you. I even pay, if you need!"

Rei turned her face to me, her eyes fixed on mine. She seemed surprised, although her expression was almost imperceptible to someone who wasn't paying attention. "Do you want to go out to buy things with me?"

"Of course! Why not?" I responded enthusiastically, but soon realized that I could sound invasive. "I mean, only if you want it too, you know? I don't want to force anything ..."

"I'll think about ..." She simply answered.

I was a little disappointed with the direct answer, but I didn't give up. "Okay, but ... if you change your mind, let me know, okay, it's going to be fun, I promise."

Rei did not answer, but I realized that there was something different in the way she looked at me before continuing walking. Maybe it was curiosity or maybe something more subtle.

As they walked, I thought to myself, "This girl ... She really lives in a different world than mine. But somehow I want to try to approach our worlds."

Rei and I arrived at Nerv, and immediately noticed Shinji stopped near the main entrance, looking lost in his thoughts. I looked up when the two approached, but said nothing, just gave a short nod, as if relieved to see us.

"Yo, Shinji!" I started trying to sound relaxed. "Doing time here?"

Shinji shrugged. "I was just waiting for you."

I smiled but my attention quickly returned to the huge nerve complex. I still couldn't believe the size and complexity of the place. It was almost surreal, as if walking inside a science fiction work. I looked through the metal structures, the huge corridors and the people coming and going, all in a coordinated and determined rhythm.

"I will never stop impressing this place ..." I said almost to myself, but loud enough for Shinji and Rei to hear. "Shinji's father really did it all? Is it ... is it crazy to think about it."

Shinji frowned, clearly uncomfortable with the mention of his father. "He didn't do everything alone ..." he said, almost like an automatic defense.

"Yeah, I know ..." I answered quickly, realizing that I had touched a sensitive point. "But still ... he's like the boss here, isn't the guy who makes the decisions."

Shinji looked away, clearly bothered. "I don't want to talk about him."

Rei who was quiet so far, finally spoke. "Commander Ikari is efficient in what he does. He prioritizes the goal above all."

"Hmm ..." I said trying to understand King's perspective.

Shinji did not answer, but the silence that followed was heavy. I looked at him, trying to find something to relieve tension.

Shinji sighed, but did not answer. I realized that, as much as I tried, Shinji still had barriers that I was not ready to knock down.

While the three of us entered the complex, I thought to myself: this place is amazing, but it also looks ... suffocating. As if every step you take is monitored. It must be difficult for everyone who works here. Especially to Shinji.

Rei walked ahead of them, and noticed how she looked alien to the emotional weight of the place. I still didn't completely understand how it worked, but I knew I wanted to help her, just as I wanted to help Shinji.

"Let's go ..." Said trying to sound optimistic.

Shinji did not answer, but he noticed a little shine of something in my eyes, perhaps hope. And that was enough for him at that moment.

As soon as we arrived at the Nerv Control Center, the atmosphere was more agitated than usual. Technicians ran from side to side, and the panels showed constantly updating readings. While Shinji and Rei were oriented to wear their plug-fittings, I was aside, watching everything with a mixture of admiration and anxiety.

I looked at the two preparing and, for a moment, could not avoid envy. They played a clear role in that struggle, a mission, something that gave them purpose. I, on the other hand, felt like a viewer, someone who was there just to observe and perhaps offer words of encouragement.

"Will I ever have my own clothes too? ..." I muttered to myself.

I wanted to be useful, I wanted to be part of something bigger. Before it could reflect more on this, the alarm echoed through the complex, a shrill sound that made the floor shake.

"Angel alert detected!" He announced a voice through the sound system.

I was paralyzed for a moment, while the emergency lights flashed in red. The central panel showed a bright point moving toward the city.

"Subaru, get out of here! Go to the shelter!" Misato ordered, his expression becoming serious.

"Wait, what? I won't leave you here!" I protested.

"We have no time to argue!" She replied, already moving to coordinate the defenses.

While Shinji and Rei went out to enter their respective Evas, I was there, feeling useless again. I looked at the monitor and saw the angel's silhouette approaching, a gigantic creature, with proportions that challenged logic. It was both fascinating and terrifying.

"Misato ..." I started talking but I stopped when I realized that she was already totally concentrated, issuing orders to the team.

Is that how it will always be? I thought. Watch from afar while others risk their lives?

I closed my fists, feeling frustration grow inside me. But deep down, I knew that there was not much to do at that moment. Most importantly, to ensure that Shinji and Rei were ready for the battle that was about to start.

Finally I stepped back, allowing the team to do their work. As I drove to a safe area, I couldn't ward off the feeling that it should be out there, fighting beside them. Even if I didn't know how, I promised myself that I would find a way to really help.

I watched the angel on the big screen, his geometric form was both mesmerizing and intimidating. I felt a knot form in my stomach, not just the magnitude of the creature, but with that peculiar smell that was beginning to be around again.

It was the same strange, metallic odor, as if something was burning and at the same time rotting. I looked around, trying to locate the origin, but no one seemed to realize. Misato, busy issuing orders, was focused on the monitor. Ritsuko adjusted the settings while reading the angel data. No one seemed to notice the discomfort that took over the place.

I took a few steps back, trying to get away from the smell, but he seemed to follow me. I started to sweat cold, feeling the air around me seems denser. This is not normal ... I thought.

While the launch of Eva Unit-01 was prepared, I closed my eyes for a moment, trying to recompose myself. But as soon as I did, flashes of an image went through my mind, quick views of something indistinct but terrifying. I saw a red field, gigantic silhouettes and a distorted sound that seemed to come from all sides.

I opened my eyes, panting, and realized I was shaking. Misato noticed.

"Hey, Subaru, are you okay? It looks pale."

"I ... It's just the nervousness ..." I lied trying to disguise.

Misato narrowed his eyes, but had no time to insist.

"If you need it, go to the rest room. We don't want anyone else fainting here."

I nodded, but I remained where I was. I couldn't just leave. Something was wrong, I felt that. But the only thing he could do was observe while Shinji and Rei prepared to face the angel.

The moment was tense. All in the command room watched the main screen while Eva-01, piloted by Shinji, climbed to the surface through one of the launch platforms. He couldn't take his eyes off his big screen, his rigid body like a stone.

As soon as the Eva reached the surface, the angel, suspended on Lake Ashino, began to emit an intense light. It was as if the air around was being distorted, the high frequency sound echoing even in the command room. Then, in an instant, a gust of energy fired from the angel, crossing the space with a terrifying speed.

"Gust detected! Shinji, beware!" He shouted Misato for the communicator.

But it was too late. The shot reached Eva unit-01 before Shinji could react. The explosion was devastating, a wave of light and heat that illuminated the entire screen. Instinctively I stepped back, my heart was fired.

In the room, the alarms began to sound, red lights flashing everywhere.

"Eva was hit directly!" reported one of the operators. "The AT field held part of the impact, but the damage is severe!"

"Shinji! Answer!" Misato demanded from the communicator his voice full of concern.

The image on the screen brightened, revealing the kneeling Eva-01 unit, with smoke coming out of various parts of his armor. The left hand held the right side of the head, where part of the outer lining had been destroyed.

"I ... I'm fine ..." came the voice of Shinji, weak but audible.

I sigh of relief, but the relief was short lived. The angel was already moving again, preparing another shot.

"He's recharging the blast! Shinji, get out now!" ordered Misato.

I felt my heart in my throat. I wanted to do something, anything, but I was stuck, powerless, just watching as the angel continued his offensive. The strange smell came back, stronger this time, almost suffocating. I knew something was happening, something no one there seemed to see.

The angel fired again.

The tension in the command room was palpable while the angel's second shot almost hit Eva Unit-01. Shinji managed to divert to a Triz, but the residual impact was so intense that he shook the entire structure of the lock, throwing it backwards.

"Immediate withdrawal! Pull the Eva back to the base! " He shouted Misato, pointing to the operators.

On the big screen, the unit-01 staggered, visibly damaged, as it descended back on the emergency platform. I watched everything with a tight chest, the increasingly stronger strange smell around me. I felt like that was a omen, something I should understand, but couldn't.

When the Eva finally arrived at the Hangar, the silence was overwhelming. Shinji was passed out inside the input capsule, irregular breathing captured by the monitors. Technicians and doctors ran to open the plug and take the pilot out.

"Vital signs are stable, but he is unconscious." reported one of the doctors.

I was standing in a corner, watching the scene with a mixture of worry and frustration. I closed my fists, your thoughts a storm. Why can't I do anything? Why am I stuck here, just watching while they risk their lives?

I saw doctors carry Shinji on a stretcher, while Misato and Ritsuko exchanged information quickly. I felt my hands shake. I wanted to scream, I wanted to help, but I knew I couldn't. I didn't have an Eva, I had no training, and, more than anything, I didn't know if I really would have the courage to do what Shinji did.

I stepped back, my eyes landing briefly on Rei, who was watching everything with the usual and distant expression. It just made him more confusing. Rei did not seem shaken. It was as if all that were just another part of her day.

As I tried to organize thoughts, Misato approached, putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Subaru, I know this is hard to watch, but Shinji will be fine ..." She said, her kind, but firm voice.

I looked at her, trying to hold on the emotions. "But what if he didn't stay? And if this time he ... "My voice failed. I couldn't end.

Misato sighed, taking his hand out of his shoulder and crossing his arms. "Don't worry, let's find a way in that angel."

I wanted to believe it, but the emptiness inside it only grew. I looked again at Eva Unit-01, now partially covered by a maintenance team that evaluated the damage. I wondered once more, if I would ever have a chance to make a difference or if I was intended to be just a viewer.

The silence was broken by a warning. "The angel is moving again!"

I felt the weight of reality fall over me once more. They had no time. The next attack could be the last. And I was still there, powerless.

A few hours later ...

The atmosphere was dark in the ward waiting room. I was sitting in a plastic chair, my elbows resting on the knees and my hands. I couldn't take my eyes off the hallway where Shinji was being treated. Every second seemed to last eternity, and the accumulated tension suffocated it.

After a few hours, Rei's light steps echoed through the corridor. She was back, still with the uniform of the impeccable nerve, and carried with her the calm that always surrounded her, even in the face of chaos. I got up immediately as I saw her.

"Rei, how is he?" I asked anxiously.

"Shinji is stable ..." she answered, her voice as neutral as always. "He will need more time to recover completely, but can return to Eva if necessary."

I sighed relieved, but the concern was still stamped on my face. "And ... what's the plan? How are we going to deal with that angel? "

Rei stepped forward, stopping beside me, her eyes fixed at an invisible point ahead. "The angel is attacking because he wants to get into nerve. He is trying to penetrate the top levels of the base to reach Geofront. "

"Geofront? Why?" I frowned. What would be the importance of this?

Rei turned her head to look at me, her deep eyes like a serene lake. "Geofront is where the central nucleus of the nerve is located. If the angel can get there, it can mean the end. "

The weight of Rei's words fell on me like a stone. I knew angels were dangerous, but now I understand that their goal.

"So what's the plan?" I asked again with a voice loaded with concern.

"We are preparing a coordinated counterattack ..." said Rei. "Shinji will need to go back to Eva. I will also come into combat with unit-00. The goal will be to neutralize the angel before it reaches the main entrance of Geofront with a special weapon we will use. "

I widened my eyes. "Wait, are you going to fight too?"

Rei nodded. "It's my duty."

I felt a tightness on my chest. I wanted to say something, I wanted to stop her, but I knew I didn't have the right. That was their reality, and I was just a viewer, someone stuck between the desire to help and the inability to really do something.

I took a deep breath, trying to sue everything. "What if you fail? What happens then? "

Rei was silent for a moment before he answered his low but firm voice. "We can't fail."

Her words were not just a statement; They were a fact. There was no margin for error.

I closed my fists. I hated this sense of helplessness, this inability to protect people around me. I looked at Rei, who was ready to face the angel without hesitation.

"Right ..." he said finally, with a little determination. "So I'll do what I can to help. Even if it's little, I'll be here. You are not alone. "

Rei only nodded before turning and out. I stayed there for a moment, feeling the weight of the situation. I knew the next combat would be decisive and that it all depended on Shinji and Rei.

But somewhere deep down, I still believed that there was something more than I could do. I just needed to find out what.

"Please, Shinji ... Wake up!"

End of Chapter 5