Chapter 2: Chapter 1: First loop
I woke up gasping, feeling a chill run down my spine. My heart was pounding, and my breathing was uneven. For some reason, I had the sensation of having my arm ripped off very vividly, the excruciating pain of having my arm ripped off, something so real that I instinctively looked at my arm. It was whole. There were no wounds, no blood. Only my hand, intact, shaking as I held it.
"But... w-what was that?" I mumbled confused. I looked around, realizing that I was no longer in the rubble or near the destroyed robot. I was back in the shelter, lying in the same place as before. The familiar ceiling loomed over me, and in the background I could hear the distant murmurs of people. For a moment, I wondered if it had all been just a dream. It seemed more like a nightmare.
I got up a little shakily, trying to understand what was happening. I looked around and saw the same people as before, talking or resting. There was something disconcerting about all of this, as if time had gone backwards without me knowing how or why. But I wasn't the type to just sit around waiting for answers: I needed to act.
Determinedly, I walked to the exit of the shelter, determined to check what was happening outside. If this was a dream, I would find out soon enough.
"Hey, where do you think you're going?" - the boy from before said, with a firm tone. It was Toji Suzuhara. The same Toji I had met before, who had tried to stop me from leaving. But there was something strange: Toji didn't seem to recognize me.
I looked confused. - "Toji? What are you doing? You know I have to leave, I can't stay here."
Toji raised an eyebrow, clearly disconcerted. - "How do you know my name? I've never seen you before." - He crossed his arms, his expression suspicious. - "Listen, I don't know who you are, but going out now is dangerous. I don't know what you think you're going to find out there, but you're going to end up dead."
The confusion only grew. - "Don't you recognize me? We talked a few hours ago... You told me the same thing... I went out, I saw the city... the red sea... the angel..." - The words came out in a disorderly flow, but to Toji, it all sounded crazy.
"What are you talking about? Angel?" - Toji shook his head, clearly thinking I was delirious. - "Look, if you're feeling sick or something, sit down and rest. But I'm not letting you go out. It's not safe."
I took a step back, stunned. This all felt incredibly familiar, but also wrong. - "I... need to go out..." - I insisted, more firmly this time. - "There's someone who needs me out there."
Toji hesitated for a moment, his expression softening briefly before returning to rigidity. - "Are you talking about someone who was trapped outside? Who is it? Are you sure they're still alive?"
I clenched my fists, feeling the memory of that blue-haired girl take hold in my mind. - "I don't know. But I can't stay here knowing that I can do something. Even if I don't understand what's happening, I have to try."
Toji's gaze changed slightly, as if something in my words had touched him. He took a step back, but kept his expression hard. - "Okay... If you're going to leave, it's at your own risk. Just don't say I didn't warn you."
I nodded determinedly. I crossed the exit of the shelter, once again, ready to face whatever was waiting outside.
When I left the shelter, it was already daylight. - "So you mean I fell asleep? Has it already been a day or was it just a dream?... Although this giant robot and angels thing, yeah, it was just a dream." - I reflected as I walked calmly through the empty streets of this city that resembled Tokyo.
As I passed by the places, they were strangely familiar, just like the dream I had. Until I decided to take a different path, where I saw a small bridge that crossed the avenue was broken.
"Wow... It looks like it just fell..." - I stared at that broken end until I noticed a morbid detail. It looked like there was someone in the rubble.
I slowly approached to check until I saw only an arm sticking out, all bloody. It was the arm of a child, she was dead. - "N-no..."
My stomach began to churn, I had never in my life seen someone dead in front of me. It was a surreal image. - "T-that's not... Bugh" - I felt a strong urge to vomit.
"This isn't real, it can't be..." - After holding back the vomit, I tried to recover and just leave there to forget what I saw. I still needed to find that girl, I needed to know her name.
As I walked through the desolate city, my footsteps echoed in the deserted streets. The silence was almost oppressive, broken only by the distant sound of wind passing between the destroyed buildings.
The environment seemed stuck in a state of eternal abandonment, as if time had stopped. The feeling of déjà-vu kept haunting me. Something seemed wrong, as if I was repeating actions that I didn't fully understand.
As I turned a corner, my eyes caught sight of a figure in the distance. A boy, probably my age, was standing in the middle of the street. He was wearing a wrinkled white uniform, holding a small black suitcase in one hand. In the other, he held a photo, apparently examining it carefully. - "I shouldn't have come here... Damn, now I'm going to have to go to a shelter." - I frowned and began to approach, my steps hesitant. The boy seemed completely out of place, as lost as I was.
"Hey, are you okay?" - I called, interrupting the silence.
The boy looked up abruptly, surprised. He had short brown hair and tired eyes that conveyed confusion and nervousness. For a moment, he just stared at me, as if trying to decide whether I was a threat or not. Finally, he answered in a hesitant tone:
"I... I'm looking for someone." - He held up the photo he was holding, revealing the image of a beautiful woman with purple hair and a confident look. "Have you seen her?"
I leaned closer to look at the photo more closely. On the photo, there was a drawing of an arrow pointing to her breasts. "Look here!" it said, but I couldn't identify who this woman was. I shook my head negatively, a little frustrated with myself. - "Sorry, I haven't seen anyone like that. Who is she?"
"Yeah... Captain Katsuragi. Her name is Katsuragi Misato..." - The boy answered, his voice trembling slightly. - "I went after my father, but in order to get to him, I would have to meet her. This Misato sent me here to... but I don't know what to do now. There's no one here."
"She's a captain? Of what? For some reason, she doesn't seem very responsible..." - I looked nervously at the photo of the beautiful woman.
Shinji nodded. - "That's my fear..."
I noticed the boy's nervousness and tried to be more friendly. - "What's your name? Maybe we can find out what's going on."
"Shinji..." - he replied, gripping the handle of the suitcase tighter. - "Ikari Shinji."
"Shinji, huh? My name is Natsuki Subaru!" - I repeated, trying to make the boy feel a little more at ease. I pointed to the suitcase. - "Are you traveling? It seems like you're carrying your entire life in this suitcase."
Shinji let out a heavy sigh, looking away. - "That's not quite it... I was called to come here, but... this whole thing is strange. It doesn't feel right."
I nodded, feeling an instant connection with the boy. I also felt lost, not knowing why I was there or what I should do. But there was something in Shinji's eyes, a mix of fear and resignation, that made me want to help.
"Look, I don't know what's going on either..." - I said, trying to sound confident. - "But I know that standing here won't help. How about we go back to the shelter together? Maybe she might be there."
Shinji hesitated for a moment, looking at the photo again. Finally, he nodded slowly. - "Okay... maybe that's better than staying here waiting."
So the two of us started walking together towards the shelter, exploring the empty streets of the city. We heard a strange tremor, as if the ground had started to shake.
When they arrived at the shelter, they were hopeful of finding Misato Katsuragi. The place was as crowded as I remembered, with people huddled together, murmuring in low tones about the recent events. There was a tension in the air, as if everyone was waiting for the next disaster. Despite this, Misato was nowhere to be found.
We asked a few refugees, but most of them answered with confused looks or just a shrug. The description of a woman with purple hair and an air of little authority didn't seem to trigger any memories that were too present. I looked at Shinji, who was holding Misato's photo tighter, his eyes reflecting frustration and helplessness.
"Are you sure she'd be here?" I asked, trying to remain calm. I could see that Shinji was about to give in to anxiety.
"She... she said she'd come get me..." Shinji replied, his voice low. He seemed to want to believe it, but the reality around him didn't help. "But... maybe something happened. Maybe she's stuck somewhere."
I sighed, sitting down in an empty corner of the shelter and waving for Shinji to do the same. "If she said she'd come, maybe she's just late. Let's wait a bit. You've already come this far, right? There's no point in running around aimlessly."
Shinji hesitated, but eventually agreed. He sat down next to me, keeping his suitcase close to him. I could see that he was exhausted, both physically and emotionally. The weight of it all seemed to be too much for him.
Time passed slowly. The shelter began to quiet down as dusk fell, people taking shelter wherever they could. I watched Shinji out of the corner of my eye, noticing how oblivious he seemed to the world around him, lost in thought. I wanted to say something to ease the tension, but the words just wouldn't come.
Finally, I broke the silence. - "You trust her, don't you?"
Shinji raised his head, surprised by the question. He looked at the photo in his hand, his expression uncertain. - "I... I don't know. I don't know her very well. But... she was the only one who came here to get me, so..."
I felt a tightness in my chest. Shinji's words sounded familiar. I smiled slightly, trying to provide some comfort. - "Sometimes, trust is the only thing we can do. If she said she would come, then I think she will. Maybe not in the time we expect, but... it will happen."
Shinji looked at me, surprised by my unexpected optimism. For a moment, he seemed to want to believe my words. - "And you? Why are you here? Are you waiting for someone too?"
I looked away, my smile fading. I thought about that girl, about the fight, about the destroyed robot. - "I... I guess I'm trying to find answers, just like you. But for now, I think waiting is all we can do."
We fell silent again, watching as darkness took over the shelter. Exhaustion was beginning to weigh on us, but I knew that waiting was the only option. Misato would show up or we would have to make another decision. Until then, all we could do was hold on.
The movement in the shelter suddenly began to increase, breaking the silence that had dominated the place for hours. I raised my head, noticing how the people around me were whispering and looking at the entrance. I followed their gaze and saw a woman with purple hair entering with firm steps. Her presence was striking, radiating a certain authority and confidence, although her friendly smile softened the seriousness of her posture. She looked like she had just gotten out of some trouble, since there was a lot of dust covering part of her coat.
Shinji immediately stood up, recognizing her. "You're Mrs. Katsuragi..." - he exclaimed, holding the suitcase as if it were his anchor.
The woman approached, her expression relaxing when she saw Shinji. - "I finally found you, boy. It's really me." she said with a tone of relief, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. - "Sorry for the delay. Things are... complicated out there. Let's go to NERV right away."
Shinji just nodded, clearly relieved that she had come. But before Misato could say anything else, I took a step forward, trying to hide the nervousness that was rising in his chest.
She wasn't talking to me, but hearing the words NERV, a click went through my head. "That woman... She said something about NERV, right?" - I thought to myself.
"Wait! You said you're taking him to NERV?" - I asked greedily, my voice coming out louder than I intended.
Misato turned to me, arching an eyebrow. - "Y-Yes. And you are?..."
I hesitated for a moment, but decided to be direct. - "C-can I go with you? There's someone I know who works there."
Misato narrowed her eyes, clearly assessing me.- "You know NERV? How? It's not exactly an organization that would show up on Google."
I swallowed hard, realizing I didn't have a good explanation. - "I... It's a friend... She must be there."
Misato crossed her arms, tilting her head slightly. She didn't seem convinced, but she didn't dismiss it out of hand either. - "Are you talking about Ayanami? Okay, I didn't know she had friends." - She looked at Shinji, as if wanting his opinion. Shinji, clearly surprised by Subaru's request, shrugged.
"He was nice to me..." - Shinji said, with a hesitant tone. "And... I think he's also a little lost."
"Ayanami, is that your name or surname?" - I thought, but since I didn't want any more interrogations, I decided to leave it aside for now.
Misato sighed, shaking her head. "You two are quite a pair. Okay, kid, you can come. But know that NERV is not an amusement park."
Relief mixed with apprehension. - "I understand. Thank you."
"Great. Let's go, before anything else happens..." - Misato said, gesturing for us to follow her.
As we left the shelter, we got into a modified military vehicle. I felt a mix of nervousness and curiosity. Something that told me that the decision to go with them would change my life forever. I looked at Shinji, who seemed equally uneasy, and then at Misato, who was focused on the path ahead.
The word NERV echoed in my mind, I must find this Ayanami... At any cost.
I was in the back seat of the military vehicle, staring at the desolate landscape passing by the window. I could vaguely hear the conversation between Misato and Shinji, but the words seemed distant, like muffled noises in my mind. My thoughts were consumed by the image of Ayanami. I could clearly remember her gaze, the wounds covering her body and the desperate moment when I tried to get her out of the capsule. Was it all really a dream? Maybe it was a premonition.
"Is she alive? Is she safe?" These questions tormented me. Even though I was there looking for answers, the guilt and fear wouldn't leave me alone.
"Hey, it's Subaru, right?..." - Misato's voice pulled me out of my thoughts. I blinked a few times and realized that she was looking at me through the rearview mirror.
"Ah... Yes, Natsuki Subaru." - I looked into her eyes.
"We're almost there. When we get there, it's going to be a little... intense. But trust me, you're going to want to watch this with your eyes wide open."
I nodded slightly, trying to hide my nervousness. - "Okay."
In the seat next to me, Shinji seemed restless. He didn't seem as nervous as before, but the hesitation was still visible in his movements. I noticed this and tried to give a comforting smile, even though he himself was on the verge of an internal breakdown.
Misato turned the steering wheel and the vehicle entered a narrow tunnel illuminated by soft yellow lights that created oscillating shadows on the walls. - "Now, close your eyes..." - she ordered, with a serious tone that left no room for questioning.
Shinji and I exchanged quick glances before obeying, closing our eyes. Darkness filled our senses, but I could still feel the movement of the vehicle, which seemed to be descending in spirals.
"Okay, you can open up." - Misato said after a few minutes.
I slowly opened my eyes and was immediately speechless. The tunnel had opened to reveal a vast underground facility, so gigantic that it took me a moment to take it all in. Huge suspended metal structures, mechanically moving cranes, and the center of it all: a gigantic dome containing an entire city, suspended over a vast body of water.
"W-What... is this?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
"Welcome to NERV!" Misato replied with a proud smile, watching our reactions. "This is humanity's last line of defense. It's from here that we protect the world from collapsing completely."
Shinji seemed equally impressed, his eyes wide as he tried to take it all in. However, he couldn't look away.
As the vehicle continued on, I couldn't help but ask the question that echoed in my mind. "Misato... what about the girl with blue hair? Ayanami... Is she here?"
Misato looked at me with a slight frown. - "Yes, she's here. Why?"
I felt a momentary relief upon hearing this, but the worry was still there. - "I... just need to know if she's okay."
Misato sighed, her tone becoming a little more serious. - "She's alive, yes. But... she's not exactly okay. You'll understand when you see her."
My heart sank. I got out of the car, still stunned by what I had just witnessed. I looked up and saw the buildings suspended in the "sky" of that immense underground cavern. It was surreal. The buildings seemed to float, as if defying gravity. I couldn't understand how that was possible, but I couldn't take my eyes off the scene.
"This is... incredible..." - I muttered to myself, still open-mouthed.
"Yeah, pretty impressive, huh?" - Misato said, with a slight hint of pride in her voice. - "This is the GeoFront. A work of engineering that keeps this entire operation running. It's not something you see every day."
While I was still trying to process the grandeur of the place, Misato led us into the interior of NERV. We passed through wide, bright corridors, where the sound of footsteps echoed. Soon we reached an entrance area, where a blonde woman in a spotless white lab coat and glasses was waiting with a less than friendly expression. She crossed her arms and looked directly at Misato.
"Finally! Do you know how late you were, Misato?" the woman began, her tone full of disapproval. "We have a schedule to follow, and you think you can just ignore it?"
Misato raised her hands in a gesture of surrender, a somewhat guilty smile on her face. "Oh, calm down, Ritsuko! We're already here, aren't we? I just had to make a small detour to pick up Shinji."
The woman, as she soon learned, sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose as if she were trying to maintain patience. "And who is that?" she asked, pointing at me with an inquisitive look. - "He wasn't in the plans. What are you doing here?"
I felt the weight of her gaze, and for a moment, I didn't know how to respond. I looked at Misato, hoping she would help me.
Misato shrugged. "This is Subaru. He... well, let's just say he got mixed up in some stuff out there. I thought I'd bring him with me."
I opened my mouth to respond, but hesitated. I wasn't sure what to say, so I settled for the truth. "I want to know if Ayanami is okay..."
Ritsuko looked skeptical, but didn't press. "Be that as it may, you can't just bring anyone here, Misato. This place isn't a visitor center."
Misato shook her head. "Relax, Ritsuko. He won't get in the way. And besides, I have a hunch that he might be useful."
"Hunch, huh?..." Ritsuko repeated, crossing her arms again. "That's new. But very well. I'll let him stay for now, but he'll be your responsibility. If anything goes wrong, it'll be all your fault."
"Understood, boss!" - Misato said playfully, clearly ignoring the weight of the warning.
Ritsuko looked at me one last time before turning her back. - "Let's go. We have work to do. And Shinji..." - she added, addressing the boy - "I hope you're prepared. Your father is waiting."
I saw Shinji's expression change drastically upon hearing this. The boy tensed, the color draining from his face. Misato noticed and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder, guiding him forward.
I followed the group, I knew I was about to get involved in something much bigger than I could imagine, but I had no intention of backing down. If there was a chance to understand what was happening and maybe even save Ayanami, I would seize it with all my might.
As I walked beside Shinji, I was still processing everything I had heard. I cast sidelong glances at the boy, noticing the growing nervousness on his face. When Ritsuko casually mentioned that Shinji's father was the commander of the whole operation, I was stunned.
"Wait a minute!" - I exclaimed, almost tripping over my own feet. - "Are you telling me that your father is the boss of all this? He... he owns this place?!"
Shinji shrugged, avoiding looking at me. - "Yeah, technically."
I widened my eyes, completely incredulous. - "What do you mean 'technically'? That's huge, man! You say it like it's the most normal thing in the world!"
Shinji sighed, clearly uncomfortable with the subject. - "I don't like talking about him, okay? Just... forget about it."
"Forget?!" - I replied euphorically. - "How am I supposed to forget something like that? That's... it's surreal!"
Misato, who was walking a little ahead with Ritsuko, turned to us. - "Subaru, maybe you should give Shinji a break. This family relationship isn't exactly... peaceful, you know?"
I noticed Shinji's discomfort and raised my hands, trying to back away. - "Okay, okay. Sorry, Shinji. I was just... shocked. But I'll stop."
The group continued walking until they reached a platform that led to a small boat. Misato motioned for everyone to get in, and soon the vehicle began to slide silently through a dark tunnel. The sound of water against the hull of the boat echoed through the empty space, creating a tense and mysterious atmosphere.
"Hold on tight..." - Misato warned, smiling slightly. - "You'll want to be ready for this."
I looked around, trying to make out something in the darkness, but I couldn't see anything but vague shadows. I was about to ask what exactly we were going to see when, suddenly, the boat stopped. There was a mechanical sound, and the lights around it began to turn on one by one.
The light revealed a colossal structure, emerging from the depths of the water. I felt my breath catch when I finally saw what was before me. It was that giant robot I had seen in my dream, which meant it wasn't just a dream.
Its metallic face was illuminated by the lights of the cave. The robot seemed almost alive, with its imposing appearance and the details of its technology. It was like facing a creature that was both divine and terrifying at the same time.
"I... I remember this..." - I whispered, unable to look away.
"This..." - Ritsuko replied with a tone of reverence - "is Evangelion Unit-01. Humanity's greatest weapon against the Angels."
Shinji, next to me, seemed equally astonished, but there was something different in his expression. He wasn't just in awe; there was fear, hesitation and perhaps even a hint of resentment.
The tension in the room was palpable when Shinji's father appeared on the platform above us, looking down with a cold, impenetrable expression. He was imposing, even without saying a word, and the sheer weight of his presence made me swallow hard.
"So, this is Shinji's father..." - I thought as I tried to understand how someone could seem so unshakable in the midst of such a critical situation.
"Shinji..." the man began, his voice low, but sharp as a blade. - "Let's launch..."
Misato intervened. - "Launch? But Unit 00 is still in cryostasis, isn't it?" - She looked to the side, seeing that Eva 01 had been tested recently. - "Wait, are you thinking of using 01 again?!"
Akagi looked seriously. - "There's no other option..."
"Wait a minute, Ayanami is in no condition to fight, we don't even have another pilot!" - Misato exclaimed
Until Akagi looked at Shinji, waiting for a sign, who until then was visibly uncomfortable, exploded. "No! I'm not getting involved in this! You call me here after years of ignoring me, just to tell me to pilot this monster? I-I... I'm not getting involved in this thing!"
I was surprised by the intensity of Shinji's words, but I couldn't blame him. Still, Gendo's gaze didn't waver. He remained impassive, as if his son's words didn't touch him.
"If you don't pilot, we'll have to use the backup pilot..." - Gendo replied calmly.
"Backup pilot?" - It was then that I heard the sound of hesitant footsteps. I turned around and saw the girl with red eyes and blue hair, Ayanami, entering the hangar. My heart sank when I saw her in that state again. She was as hurt as before, maybe even more. Her expression was one of pure exhaustion, and her steps were slow and unsteady. Despite that, she moved forward, determined to follow orders.
"You can't be serious!" I shouted, completely shocked. I ran to the girl, ignoring the tension around me. - "Look at her condition! She can barely walk, and you still want her to get into that robot? That's fucking crazy!"
Ayanami looked up at me, her expression serene, but empty. She couldn't even speak.
I turned to Shinji's father, pointing an accusing finger. - "You're responsible for this? How can you be so inhumane? She has no qualifications to do this!"
The man didn't even blink at the accusation. - "Her job is to pilot the Evangelion. If you think that's inhumane, then offer a better solution."
I was speechless for a moment, but his indignation didn't diminish. I looked at Shinji, who was paralyzed, unable to react. Then I turned my gaze to Ayanami, who was shaking in pain, but still preparing to enter the Eva. That's when I made a decision.
"I'm going to pilot this thing..." - I said firmly. Everyone in the hangar stared at me, surprised. Even Shinji's father raised an eyebrow slightly, as if evaluating the seriousness of the statement.
"You?" - Misato asked, incredulous. - "You haven't even been trained! Even Ayanami took 7 months just to synchronize with an Eva, that's not like driving a car, Subaru!"
"I know!..." - I replied without taking my eyes off the man. - "But if Shinji refuses to do it, then I will. I won't stand by while you put someone in that state inside that robot!"
Ritsuko adjusted her glasses, looking suspicious. "Okay, let's try."
"That's it, test me!" she insisted, looking at him directly. - "If I fail, you can continue with your plan. But if I can do it, then I will save her!"
Gendo remained silent for a few moments, evaluating me. Then, with a slight nod, he gave his answer. - "Very well. Put it in the Entry Plug."
I felt a shiver run down my spine, but I didn't back down. I looked at Ayanami, now completely still, and promised myself that I wouldn't let that injustice continue. - "You will rest, Ayanami..." I said softly, before turning and heading towards Eva 01. - "Now it's my turn."
I stepped into the capsule with determination pumping through my veins. The Entry Plug, a narrow metal cylinder, felt more claustrophobic than I had expected. I sat down on the narrow bench, the side controls feeling cold against my sweaty hands. A screen lit up in front of me, displaying graphs, codes, and diagrams that I couldn't understand.
"Preparing for pilot insertion…" Ritsuko's voice echoed through the communicator. "Close Entry Plug."
I heard the metallic sound of the cylinder sealing itself, and for a moment, I felt as if I were being buried alive. The external light disappeared, leaving only the blue glow of the interface in front of me.
"Entry Plug inserted," another voice confirmed, probably that of a technician.
The cylinder began to slide into the Evangelion, and I felt a slight tremor as it finally fit into the unit. The sound of metal scraping was followed by a deep click. The connection was made.
"Now we're going to fill with LCL…" Ritsuko said.
"Wait… what?" - I screamed, but before I could protest, an amber liquid began to gush inside the capsule. I tried to hold my breath, but soon realized there was no escape. - "I'm going to drown in here!" - I screamed as the liquid rose until it covered my face.
"Breathe." - Misato's calm voice sounded over the communicator. - "LCL is oxygenated. Your body will adjust."
Hesitantly, I inhaled the liquid. It was uncomfortable, as if I had accidentally swallowed water, but then I realized that I could actually breathe.
"Synchronization initializing..." - Ritsuko announced.
The screens on the Entry Plug began to display dynamic graphics. I felt something strange, as if an electric current was running through my body. A slight pain in my head and a pressure in my ears left me dizzy.
"Synchronization unstable. Rate: 12%," a technician's voice informed.
"That's very low..." - Ritsuko commented. - "But it's enough to activate the basic systems."
Suddenly, the screens around me projected a panoramic view of the outside world. I felt as if I were seeing it through the Evangelion's own eyes. It was a surreal sensation.
"Subaru." - Misato said over the communicator. - "You are in control now. Move your arms to test the movements."
I hesitated, but grabbed the side controls and tried to move my right arm. I felt a strange resistance, as if I were pushing something heavy underwater. The Evangelion's arm rose slightly, but it was shaking uncontrollably.
"Unstable synchronization!" Ritsuko warned. "It's not able to connect properly."
I tried again, this time moving my left arm, but the Evangelion swayed as if it were stumbling.
"Calm down, Subaru!" Misato shouted. "Don't force the movements!"
But before I could process the instructions, something strange happened. I felt an intense tingling in the back of my neck, followed by a sharp pain. The Eva began to shake violently, as if it had a life of its own.
"It's out of control!" a technician shouted.
The Evangelion took a step forward without my command. "W-what's happening?!" I tried to regain control, but the robot was swaying awkwardly, almost knocking down a nearby metal wall.
"Deactivate the auxiliary engines!" Ritsuko ordered. - "Synchronization is below the limit!"
"I'm not doing this!" - I shouted as I frantically pulled the controls, but to no avail.
Outside, the Eva looked like a drunken giant, moving without coordination. It knocked over equipment, destroyed part of the platform and let out a guttural growl, echoing through the underground base.
"Disconnect the power cable!" - Ritsuko ordered. - "It's consuming too much energy!"
"But if we disconnect it, it will lose functionality in five minutes!" - a technician protested.
"It doesn't matter! Turn it off now!"
There was an audible click, and the Evangelion stopped suddenly, as if it had been frozen in the middle of the chaos. I was inside the Entry Plug, panting, my heart hammering in my chest.
"That was... horrible!" - I murmured in a shaky voice. - "It's like... like that thing has a life of its own."
Outside, Ritsuko looked at Misato with a worried expression. - "He's not compatible. His synchronization is too low for functional control. He can't pilot the Eva."
Misato sighed, staring at the metallic giant that was now motionless. - "We don't have time for this. Let's get Shinji."
And I still inside the capsule, felt a crushing weight of failure. Before the technicians could begin the procedures to remove me from the Entry Plug, the Eva began to shake again.
The alarms in the control room went off, and the emergency lights illuminated the room in a pulsating red tone.
"What's happening now?!" Misato exclaimed, standing up abruptly.
"The Eva is... reactivating itself!" - shouted a technician, as his hands ran frantically over the control panel. - "There are no commands being sent!"
From inside the Entry Plug, I felt the tingling in the back of my neck return, this time more intense and painful. It was as if the robot was rejecting my presence. - "What's happening?!" - I screamed, grabbing the controls that vibrated uselessly in my hands.
"Subaru, get out of there!" - Misato's voice echoed through the communicator, but before any action could be taken, the Evangelion acted on its own.
The Eva raised its metallic arm with erratic movements, but this time it seemed to have a purpose. The robot's gigantic hand went straight for the back of the neck, where the Entry Plug was inserted.
"It can't be..." - Ritsuko murmured, looking at the monitors. - "It's as if the Eva wanted to pull the pilot out of there!"
The Eva's strength was brutal. It grabbed the Entry Plug with its metallic fingers and began to pull. I felt the violent impact reverberate throughout the cylinder, as if it were trapped inside an eggshell being crushed. It was as if I was trying to rip my spine out through the back of my neck.
"It's trying to pull the Entry Plug out by force!" - a technician shouted.
"Impossible!" - Ritsuko replied, but her expression betrayed her shock.
Outside, the metal sound being twisted filled the hangar as the EVA pulled the Entry plug out of his back. The capsule was removed with a frightening force, as if the robot itself was panicked to expel me from inside.
"Evacuate Entry Plug immediately!" ordered Ritsuko. - "If you continue like this, the capsule can be destroyed!"
Arrested in the capsule that was now being held by Eve's hand, I felt my stomach turning over while he was shaken. - "I didn't do anything!" - I shouted completely terrified. - "Why is this happening?!"
Eve raised Entry Plug before her monstrous face, as if inspecting the cylinder. His bright eyes stared at me, which felt the increasing pressure inside the capsule. It was as if the robot was alive, with his own will, and he didn't want me there.
"W-Wait!" Suddenly, with one hand, the EVA firmly held Entry Plug and started closing, trying to crush me completely. - "I-This is not real!" - Until ....
I was completely crushed by the metal hand of the robot ...
Squeezed by the scrap like a rotten orange ...
I was dead ...
If I could have just one more chance ....
Just once again ...
Suddenly I woke up, my eyes wide and my heart racing. The ceiling of the shelter seemed strangely familiar, but I didn't understand why. The pain of being forcibly torn from the Eva was still so vivid in my memory that I instinctively looked at his arm. It was there, intact.
"How...? Wasn't I in the hangar? And that robot... didn't it throw me away?" - I murmured, feeling completely disoriented.
I got up from the makeshift bed, breathing heavily. The muffled sound of conversations and the noise of machines in the shelter seemed louder than before. I rubbed my face, trying to convince myself that this was just another nightmare... but that didn't seem to be the case.
In a corner, I saw my shopping bag, the same one I was carrying when I entered that shelter for the first time. I walked over to it and picked it up, checking the contents. It was exactly the same as before.
"This doesn't make sense... How this get back here? How did I get back here?" - I said, clenching my fist around the bag. A wave of frustration and despair began to rise.
Without thinking much, I headed back to the shelter's exit. I needed answers, I needed to see the world outside to confirm if all of this was real or just some kind of hallucination. My steps were quick and determined, I was intercepted again.
"Hey! Where do you think you're going?" - Toji Suzuhara appeared out of nowhere, stopping me from leaving.
I stopped for a moment, looking at Toji in disbelief. - "You again?" - I asked, almost unable to believe what I was seeing.
Toji frowned. - "Huh? Again? What are you talking about? We don't even know each other, man."
That answer made my blood run cold. I looked around, trying to process what was happening. It was as if I was reliving the same situation as before, but with slightly different details.
"I... It doesn't matter!" - I said shaking my head, trying to shake off the confusion. "Get out of my way. I don't have time for this."
Frustration reached my limit. I pushed Toji hard, pushing him away from me. Toji staggered, surprised by my sudden attitude.
"I don't have time to argue with you!" - I shouted angrily, already walking towards the exit of the shelter. - "If you don't understand, then just... stay out of my way!"
Toji watched from afar with a mix of concern and indignation on his face. - "Hey, wait a minute! You're being an idiot!" - he shouted, but I didn't look back.
As I climbed the stairs towards the outside world, my mind was in chaos. I didn't know what was happening, why things seemed to be repeating themselves, but one thing was certain: I couldn't keep standing there. I needed to find answers, no matter what.
As I ran through the deserted streets, my mind was a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. I felt my heart beating faster, not just from running, but from the terrifying realization: I had returned from death.
"No.... That wasn't a dream, it wasn't a hallucination..." - I muttered to myself as I ran. - "I felt the pain... the pain of dying... and now I'm here. Again."
My whole body was shaking.
"I... I can't stay here!..." - Until I remembered Ayanami's fight, her state in the other "loop", invaded my mind like a sledgehammer. That girl, so injured, fought to protect everyone, even though she was on the verge of death. And the people in the shelter? They all trusted in a security that could collapse at any moment. I felt a tightness in my chest...
I was the only one who knew what was coming.
"I can't just leave..." - I said, clenching my fists. - "If I run away, all these people will die. That girl... Ayanami could die... again. I have to do something."
With that, I changed my path and ran towards the bridge that had been destroyed in the previous loop. Each step felt heavier as I remembered the scenes of chaos and destruction. I knew I had to act before things got worse.
When I finally reached the bridge, I stopped dead in my tracks. There was a girl sitting right in the middle of the structure, crying profusely. She looked about five or six years old, with short hair and a jacket that looked too big.
"Hey, what are you doing here?!" I shouted, approaching cautiously. "It's dangerous! You need to get out of there!"
The girl didn't answer. Her sobs drowned out any sounds around her. The bridge, already worn and unstable, began to creak under the weight of the wind and the girl's movements.
"Did you hear me?!" I shouted again, this time closer. I reached out my hand, but the girl just kept crying, holding something tight to her chest, it seemed to be a small doll.
"Please listen!" I begged, bending down to her level. "If you stay here, the bridge will fall! You need to come with me now!"
The girl finally looked up, her eyes red from crying. But before she could respond, a loud crack echoed across the bridge. The metal and wood gave way a little, and I knew I didn't have time to argue anymore.
Without thinking, I grabbed the girl and pulled her out of the place where she was sitting. She resisted briefly, but I held her tightly. "I'm sorry, but I won't let you die here!" I said firmly.
When we were almost off the bridge, a louder crack echoed, and part of the structure collapsed, exactly where the girl had been sitting seconds ago. I threw myself to the ground, hugging the girl to protect her as the debris fell to the road below.
The sound of the impact reverberated in the air, and everything went quiet for a moment. My breathing was heavy, still holding the girl.
"Are you... okay?" I asked, looking at her.
The girl finally seemed to come out of her state of shock. She looked at me, and tears began to flow again.
I looked at the little girl in her arms, who was still crying nonstop. Her sobs were so strong that it seemed like she could barely breathe. It was then that a memory hit me like a lightning bolt. She was the little girl I saw die in the rubble in the previous loop.
My heart sank. I had saved her this time. I had made a difference.
"Hey, calm down..." - I said softly, trying to comfort her. - "You're safe now, okay? I promise nothing will happen to you."
But the words didn't seem to reach the girl, who kept crying. I looked around, trying to think of something, anything, to calm her down. She was clearly lost... It was then that I remembered something: The shopping bag was still with me.
A small smile appeared on my face. I knew exactly what to do. I bent down, put the bag on the floor and started rummaging through it, looking for a specific item. After a few seconds, I found what I was looking for: a rare coin.
"Look at that..." - I said, holding the coin between my fingers and calling the little girl's attention. - "Did you know I'm a magician? Do you want to see a trick?"
The girl, still sobbing, looked at me with teary eyes, without saying anything, but clearly curious.
"Do you see this coin here? Now... take a good look. Don't blink!"
With a quick movement, I made the coin "disappear" in the palm of my hand and then pretended to take it from the little girl's ear.
"Ta-da! Look at that, it was right here the whole time!"
The little girl stopped crying for a moment, blinking in surprise. Then, something miraculous happened: she gave a weak giggle.
"How did you do that?" she asked, wiping her tears with her small hands.
"A magician never reveals his secrets." - I answered, winking at her. I placed the coin in her hand and closed it gently. - "Here, for you. Now you have luck in your pocket."
The girl looked at the coin in her hand and, for the first time, a small smile appeared on her face. I felt the weight on my chest ease a little. I managed to make her feel better.
"What's your name?" - I asked, bending down to be at her level.
The little girl hesitated for a moment before answering, her voice still a little choked: "Sakura. Suzuhara Sakura."
I froze for a moment. Suzuhara? Was she Sazuhara Toji's sister? I quickly connected the dots. In the other loop, Toji had mentioned something about protecting the family, but he didn't go into details. She was the reason Toji was so worried.
"Sakura, huh?" - I repeated with a smile. - "It's a very beautiful name. Listen, you don't need to be afraid anymore, okay? You have a brother, don't you? I'll take you to him."
Sakura looked at me and, even without saying anything, seemed a little calmer.
A few minutes later...
I took Sakura back to the shelter. As soon as we arrived, I left the girl in the care of one of the residents. When I looked inside the shelter, however, something held me back. I couldn't just stay there. There was still something bigger to be done.
"Stay here, Sakura. You'll be safe now, your brother should be around here." - I said, trying to sound confident. The little girl held the coin I gave her and nodded, still a little shy.
I turned around and left the shelter, my heart pounding. I already knew what I needed to do. I needed to find Shinji. I needed to convince him to get into the robot.
I ran through the deserted streets, each step strengthening my determination. Finally, I reached the place where I remembered meeting Shinji for the first time. There he was again, sitting on a bench, with his suitcase beside him and holding the photo of the purple-haired woman. It was like déjà-vu.
I tried not to show that I already knew what was going to happen. I approached slowly, taking a deep breath to prepare myself. It was crucial that I conducted this conversation in the right way.
"Hey, are you lost?" I asked as if it was the first time we had met.
Shinji looked up, looking a little confused and scared. - "Ah... not exactly. I'm waiting for someone."
"Someone important, apparently..." - I commented, glancing at the photo Shinji was holding.
Shinji seemed to hesitate before answering. "Yeah... Her name is Misato... You know her. She should be here to pick me up."
I pretended to think for a moment, remembering how this conversation had gone before. I needed to create a bond with Shinji before I started pressuring him.
"Misato? Um... No, I don't know who that is. By the way, my name is Natsuki Subaru. What about you?"
"Shinji... Ikari Shinji" - he answered quietly, almost as if he was embarrassed.
"Shinji, huh? A strong name." - He said, trying to sound relaxed. He sat down on the bench next to the boy, keeping a friendly tone. "So I'm just as lost as you are. What brought you here? Business trip? School? Something exciting?"
Shinji looked away, clearly uncomfortable. "I... came to see someone..."
"I see..." - He said, nodding slowly. - "And what do you think of all this? Are you excited or... more like scared?"
Shinji hesitated, but ended up answering honestly: "I honestly don't know..."
Those words hit me hard. I recognized the weight in Shinji's voice; it didn't seem like the conversation was going as naturally as it had the first time.
I knew I would still need to be more persuasive when we got to NERV. But for now, I had already planted the seed. I could only hope that this time, things would be different. This time, I was determined to change fate.
The ground began to shake, interrupting our conversation. I immediately looked around, alarmed, while Shinji seemed frozen in place, scared.
In the sky, helicopters flew overhead, their lights cutting through the air and illuminating the area with an incessant metallic hum. But something even more imposing caught the attention of both of them: a colossal figure appeared in the distance, advancing with heavy steps that made the ground tremble.
"An... Angel?" - I muttered to myself, recognizing the creature. It was the same being I had faced in the previous loop.
Shinji's mouth fell open, his eyes fixed on the approaching monster. "What... what is that?"
"We can't stay here!" - I answered in a more serious voice than I intended. I grabbed Shinji's arm and tried to pull him back. - "Come on, we have to get out of here!"
As the two of us ran, the sound of explosions echoed in the air. The helicopters were in formation, firing volleys of missiles and bullets at the Angel. But, as I already knew, the attacks had no visible effect.
The army's weapons exploded against the creature's AT Field barrier, creating only lights and sparks that barely scratched the monster's surface. It was a spectacle as impressive as it was frightening.
It was then that the sound of an engine roared, coming from the opposite direction. I turned and saw a car speeding by, braking abruptly near them. It was Misato.
"You two, get in the car now!" she shouted, waving at us.
Shinji hesitated for a moment, still in shock at everything that was happening. I wasted no time in pulling him by the arm and practically throwing him into the backseat before getting in too.
Misato accelerated, the tires screeching as the car sped down the street. The tension in the vehicle was almost palpable.
"But what... what was that?" Shinji asked, his voice trembling.
"Hello, it's an Angel." Misato answered bluntly, her eyes fixed on the road. "You in the white shirt are Shinji, aren't you? Nice to meet you."
Shinji fell silent, clearly struggling to process what he had just heard.
I, on the other hand, was staring out the window, watching the helicopters continue their futile battle with the Angel. I knew what needed to happen next, but the question was: how would I get Shinji to accept piloting the Eva?
"And who are you, boy? Are you Shinji's friend?" Misato asked me.
Misato's question caught me off guard. - "Oh, no, we just met. My name is Natsuki Subaru."
Misato finally broke the silence. "You two, listen up. We're going to NERV. There, we'll have a chance to stop this creature. But we need your help, Shinji."
"My help?" Shinji repeated, confused.
"NERV, right?..." He mumbled to himself.
Misato glanced at me through the rearview mirror, surprised by my seriousness and lack of fear in the situation. She didn't know who I was exactly, but she heard my murmurs. - "Do you know NERV?"
I blinked slightly before answering. - "Huh... No, I just found it peculiar..."
As the car sped towards NERV, the sound of explosions and the Angel's heavy footsteps still echoed in the background.
As the car continued to advance through the deserted streets towards NERV, Misato began to explain more about the situation, trying to prepare Shinji for what was to come.
"We're going to NERV HQ." - she began, glancing briefly at the boy in the backseat through the rearview mirror. - "That's where we're going to stop the Angel. We have... a plan."
Shinji was visibly uncomfortable, still processing the idea that something so absurd was happening. I, on the other hand, was focused, trying to hear every word Misato said.
"I hope Ayanami is okay..." - Misato added casually.
Again, almost by reflex, I turned to her abruptly. -"Ayanami? How is she?" - I already knew her situation, but instinctively, I ended up repeating it.
Misato arched an eyebrow and looked at me, intrigued. - "Do you know Ayanami?"
I paused for a moment. I knew that if I was caught in a lie now, I could lose any chance of getting into NERV and making a difference. I thought quickly, searching for something convincing.
"Yes." - I answered, trying to sound natural. - "We... are close."
"Close?" - Misato repeated, clearly suspicious.
I paused dramatically, as if hesitant to reveal more, and then said: "She's my... girlfriend!"
The revelation hung in the air like an awkward silence. Shinji's eyes widened in surprise, while Misato stared at me in the rearview mirror with a mixture of surprise and skepticism.
"Girlfriend?" - Misato asked, seeming even more suspicious. - "Ayanami never mentioned anything about a boyfriend. That's impressive!..."
"Well..." - I answered, scratching the back of my neck in an attempt to appear relaxed. - "She's not exactly the type of person to talk much about her personal life, is she?"
Misato tilted her head slightly, as if assessing the situation. She still looked skeptical, but didn't press any further. - "Hm, interesting. Well, if that's true, I guess you're lucky to be going to NERV."
Shinji, who had been silent until then, finally spoke, albeit in a hesitant voice. "Who... who is this Ayanami?"
"You'll meet her." Misato replied, turning her attention back to the road.
"Is she hurt?..." - I interrupted the conversation, the memory of Ayanami being hurt in the previous loop making me clench my fists.
Misato glanced at me quickly, this time with a more serious expression. - "Yes. She suffered a lot of injuries during the last test, but we had no other choice..."
I felt a knot in my stomach. I knew what this meant. I needed to convince Shinji before the situation reached this point again.
The rest of the trip continued in silence, I was processing my next actions and Shinji seemed lost in his own thoughts. When we finally arrived at NERV, Misato drove the car into the underground tunnel.
"Close your eyes..." - she said as they passed a bright spot in the tunnel, following the same standard procedure.
When she told us to open our eyes again, we were amazed by the sight of the suspended buildings. Even though I had seen them before, I still couldn't help but be struck by the visual impact of what seemed to be an entire city hanging in the "sky" of the underground.
"Welcome to the Geofront." - Misato announced, with a slightly proud tone.
As soon as we arrived, we got out of the car. We were greeted again by a woman with blond hair holding a clipboard and a stern expression.
"You're late again, Misato." - she said, clearly irritated.
"Oh, relax, Ritsuko. We're here, aren't we?" - Misato replied with a carefree smile.
Ritsuko looked at me curiously. "And this one? Who is he?"
"Oh." - Misato began, before I could answer: "He says he knows Ayanami. By the way, Subaru, this is Dr. Akagi Ritsuko, our chief scientist."
I bowed slightly in greeting. - "It's a pleasure, Dr. Akagi."
Ritsuko continued to look at me suspiciously, but ended up shrugging. - "Well, as long as he doesn't get in the way, I don't see a problem."
The four of us made our way to one of NERV's internal stations, where we were led to the Evas' section. Along the way, Misato and Ritsuko discussed technical details about the Angel's attack, while Shinji and I walked in silence.
When they finally reached the room where the Eva was stored, the lights came on, revealing the gigantic robot.
The tension in the air was palpable, and I knew the decisive moment was near. I needed to make sure Shinji agreed to pilot the Eva, or it would all happen again.
The atmosphere in the room seemed to weigh a ton when Shinji's father entered the control room. His austere and authoritative presence dominated the space, his rigid and cold posture made every person in the room seem smaller. He looked down at Shinji, as if his son were just a piece on his board.
"Shinji..." - said the man, his icy voice echoing in space. - "get in the Eva."
Shinji shivered. It was clear that his father's words had a crushing weight on him. He didn't know how to respond, but everything in his body language screamed that he wanted to be anywhere but here.
"I... I'm not doing this!" - Shinji finally answered, his voice broken but full of desperation. - "You called me here just to get on this thing?! I'm not what you want me to be! I'm not going to pilot it!"
I watched the scene with a heavy heart. I had seen this situation before, I knew where it ended: Ayanami being dragged, wounded and vulnerable, to save the day. I couldn't let that happen again.
Ritsuko, as if she had already expected the answer, signaled to the NERV assistants. A few seconds later, the doors opened and a stretcher rolled in, carrying Ayanami.
The girl was exactly as I remembered. Her body was covered in bandages; her face pale and marked by fresh wounds. Her eyes, though open, were dull, almost as if she were trapped in a semi-conscious state of existence.
"If you don't pilot it..." - The man continued, unwavering. - "she will."
I felt my stomach churn. I felt the same anger and helplessness that had consumed me in the previous loop. This wasn't just an inhumane decision, it was cruel manipulation. Shinji's father was willing to sacrifice anyone to achieve his goals.
"No!" - Shinji shouted, backing away. - "She's hurt! She can't!"
"Then get in the Eva." - He replied coldly.
That's when I decided to act. I grabbed Shinji by the shoulders. - "Shinji!" - I shouted, cutting through the air. - "Look at her!"
Shinji reluctantly turned his face to Ayanami. There she was, motionless and vulnerable, like a doll about to be thrown onto a battlefield.
"She's like this because she's already fought, Shinji! And she'll have to fight again if you don't do anything!... Please Shinji, you have to do this!" - I spoke urgently. - "She's hurt because she had no choice, I know you must be scared of this thing, and so am I! But please, Shinji."
Shinji shook his head, his face dripping. - "I can't... I can't..."
"Yes, you can!" - I insisted, shaking Shinji's shoulders hard. - "You think I'm not scared? You saw it out there, Shinji. It's terrifying! But do you know what's worse than fear? Seeing innocent people dying when there's a possibility of saving them all!"
My words began to sink in Shinji, who looked back at Ayanami. She didn't say a word, but the sight of her, so broken and yet ready to fight, seemed to scream louder than any argument.
I pointed at her, her eyes shining with determination. "She's counting on you, Shinji. We all are. I am! If you don't do this, more people will end up like her. Or worse!"
The silence in the room was deafening. Misato and Ritsuko watched in shock, unsure of how to react to the intensity. Shinji's father remained impassive, but there was something in his eyes that suggested he was, at the very least, intrigued by the scene.
Finally, his hands shaking, Shinji murmured, "I... I'll do it."
"Speak louder!" the man demanded, his tone sharp.
Shinji wiped away the tears and looked at his father, his voice still fragile but firm. "I'll pilot the Eva."
I let out a sigh of relief, even though I knew the battle was just beginning. I looked at Ayanami once more, promising myself that I would do everything I could to ensure she wouldn't have to get in the Eva again, at least not while I was there.
"Then let's prepare Eva 01." - Ritsuko announced, returning to her professional posture.
Shinji was taken to the preparations, while he remained still, observing the movement around him. - "I think it worked... Please, the Eva can't lose control..."
Carefully, I helped put Ayanami back on the stretcher. I felt the weight of the moment, the warmth of her fragile body through the bandages. My mind buzzed with a mixture of relief and worry. I had prevented her from being put on the Eva again, but that didn't mean everything was okay.
The NERV doctors received her quickly, pushing the stretcher through cold, bright corridors. I followed beside her, my determination clear. I didn't care if it was allowed or not, I needed to make sure she was okay.
Along the way, I heard technical and objective conversations between the doctors and assistants:
"Check the stabilization levels."
"Is she still conscious?"
"Focus on keeping her vital signs constant."
The sounds of the stretcher's wheels echoed on the metal floor, accompanied by my footsteps, which followed in silence. When we finally reached a medical room, the assistants asked him to wait outside.
"I'm going to stay here." - I insisted, crossing my arms and staring at the professionals.
"You're not allowed in here." - one of them replied, visibly tired, but I didn't move.
After a brief silence, the doctor just sighed and entered the room, leaving the door closed. I leaned against the wall, waiting.
A few minutes later...
Finally, after what seemed like hours, a doctor came out of the room.
"She's stable, but she needs complete rest." - the man said, with a professional tone, but not without empathy.
"Can I see her?" - I asked immediately.
The doctor hesitated for a moment, but finally agreed. - "Okay, but only for a few minutes."
I walked into the room slowly. The room was lit by soft lights, and the sound of the heart monitor filled the space. Ayanami was lying on the bed, her eyes closed, her face pale but peaceful. The bandages still covered most of her body, but she seemed more comfortable now.
I sat in a chair next to the bed, resting my arms on my knees as I observed her. I didn't know exactly what to say, but I felt like I needed to be there.
"So?... Do you remember me?" - I began in a low voice. - "I don't know if you can hear me, but... Since you saved me by putting me in that shelter, I helped you not get into that robot."
I was silent for a moment, listening only to the steady rhythm of the heart monitor. I wanted to do more, I wanted to understand more, but at that moment, all I could do was wait.
As I watched Ayanami's serene expression, she slowly opened her eyes, blinking a few times as she adjusted to the soft light of the room. Her gaze initially seemed lost, but as she focused on my face next to her, something in her expression changed.
"You... were there..." - she said in a soft voice, almost like a whisper. - "How did you know... That I was here?"
I leaned a little closer, relieved and surprised at the same time. - "Before that explosion happened, you had told me something about NERV... It wasn't easy to find you, much less find this place... when I found out you were piloting that thing... I was worried, that's why I came here to see you."
She nodded slightly. - "You... You are strange."
A small smile escaped my face. Despite everything, she was alive and conscious, and that was already a victory. I adjusted my position in the chair, trying not to look anxious, but my heart was racing.
"You really saved me back there..." - I said, trying to break the ice. - "I... well, I didn't want you to get hurt any worse."
Ayanami blinked slowly, watching me for a moment before answering. - "You were the one who told the pilot to get into the Eva, weren't you?"
I hesitated. I didn't want to admit that I practically forced Shinji to do it, but at the same time, I didn't want to lie. - "I only did what I thought was right. I couldn't let you fight like that... not like that."
She was silent for a few seconds, as if she was processing my words. Still uneasy with the silence, I decided to ask:
"What's your name?"
She blinked again, almost confused by the simple question.
"I had asked you that when I had first met you back then, but you didn't even answer me."
....
"Rei..."
"Ayanami Rei."
She answered with a direct but calm tone.
"Rei, so..." - I tilted my head, trying to catch her gaze. - "Rei... why do you do this? Why do you put yourself at so much risk? Aren't your parents worried about this?"
She seemed surprised by the question, even though her expression remained almost unchanged. "I don't have parents... It's my duty. I pilot the Eva because I was assigned to do so."
I frowned. - "But... have you never asked yourself why? Have you never thought if you wanted something more than this?"
She looked away, staring at the ceiling for a few moments. "No... I... I can't...."
I sighed, leaning back in my chair. - "You deserve more than just following that guy's orders and getting hurt because of it. No one should live like that, Rei!"
Rei looked at me again, her expression still neutral, but something in her eyes suggested that something had changed.
"What else could I do?" she asked, genuinely curious.
I smiled. - "How about reading another romance novel?"
Rei didn't answer, but continued to watch me, as if trying to understand the meaning behind my words. It was a small moment, but to me, it felt like one of the most important moments of my life.
"Rei Ayanami... What a beautiful name."
End of chapter 1