“But how exactly do you plan to become friends with her?”
“You asked the right question.”
Carynne responded with a bright face.
“That’s the problem. How does one usually become friends?”
“…Should I think of a way?”
“I don’t have any female friends.”
Carynne had to admit that she had never had a female friend before. There simply hadn’t been enough time.
The few women she met after debuting in high society weren’t exactly friend material. Carynne was, after all, somewhat of a rival, having debuted less than a year ago.
And most noblewomen, like Lady Lianne, had known each other since childhood. Even those who came from the countryside like Carynne had their own cliques. Carynne had almost no interaction with other nobles, partly because of Catherine and Nancy, and everyone was too wary of Verdic to approach her.
“I had no friends at all.”
In a sense, she hadn’t had a real lover either.
Carynne quickly changed the subject, not liking the look Raymond was giving her.
“First off, I’m planning to prepare a bribe— No, a gift.”
Raymond’s expression conveyed his conflict yet again.
* * *
“Isella, Miss Carynne Hare has come to see you again.”
“Why does she keep coming to see me?”
“She wants to be friends with you.”
Verdic looked amused.
He had seen many people cling to him, begging to lessen their losses. He had seen beggars cling to Isella too.
But it was the first time a lady of noble blood, albeit impoverished, had come to Isella wanting to be friends.
Above all, to be friends. Verdic couldn’t help but laugh at the notion.
Who would become friends with whom? Even if they were called friends, Carynne would end up serving Isella. The idea was quite appealing to him. He very much wanted to see Isella ordering Carynne around, just as he wanted to order around the nobles himself.
“As I said before, Carynne Hare has the blood of a Grand Duke. It will be helpful when you make your debut.”
“I don’t want to.”
Isella turned her head sharply away.
“But she’s brought a gift? And it’s quite a luxurious item.”
“I don’t need to see it. If she’s prepared something luxurious, it only means she wants something else even more. I dislike such women even more.”
Verdic put the necklace he had been holding back into its place.
* * *
“…What happened?”
“She didn’t agree to meet me.”
“I see.”
Carynne gulped down cold water one after another. Isella’s refusal was rude, but there wasn’t much else Carynne could do except drink cold water to soothe her burning insides. Raymond looked at her anxiously.
“What about Nancy?”
“She went to the jeweler to see if it could be refunded.”
“Ah, will that work?”
“I’m not expecting much, but seeing how assertive she was, maybe it’s worth hoping.”
Raymond, who had paid the remaining amount on Carynne’s behalf, sighed.
“I’ll pay you back later.”
“You don’t need to pay me back. Everything I have is yours.”
“That’s touching. I’m going to lie down for a bit. I’m exhausted.”
Carynne limped to the bed and flopped down. Dust sparkled in the air. It was still too early to sleep in the afternoon. Since Isella hadn’t agreed to meet her, there was nothing to do. Carynne murmured while lying down.
“Why won’t she meet me…”
Raymond had paid more so they could move to the most expensive place in the village, but even so, he was not satisfied with the state of the room. The floor creaked slightly, and the bed was clean but narrow. Raymond sat down beside Carynne.
“Do you really want to be friends with Miss Isella?”
“Yes. It’s my goal for this life.”
“Carynne, you don’t even like her that much, so why go to such lengths?”
Carynne turned her head to glare at Raymond.
“That’s for me to decide.”
“I don’t understand. I get that you want to make friends. But why does it have to be Miss Isella?”
Raymond completely despised Verdic. He did not direct his anger towards Verdic’s daughter, Isella, but neither did he have any intention of whispering words of love to her.
Every time he saw that girl, Raymond had to suppress his emotions, striving not to unleash his irrational anger.
And after his memories returned, Raymond had to continually check whether his actions towards Isella were driven not by necessity but by a projection of his own hatred.
Carynne’s situation was even more complicated. Carynne and Isella could never become true friends—their relationship was primarily defined by business interests. There was Verdic, Lord Hare, and Raymond between them, too.
Carynne had been abused by Verdic, robbed of her birthright, and sometimes even killed by him. If Carynne had not been reborn, her life would have ended with her having been murdered by Verdic. Isella was his daughter. Why would she want to be friends with her?
Those people were far too detestable.
The idea that becoming friends with an enemy might be beneficial was something Raymond found hard to understand. He knew Carynne’s previous life. Even when Carynne had tried to accommodate Isella, Isella had never treated her as anything more than a maid. The initial attraction Raymond felt towards Carynne was born out of sympathy and guilt.
“I don’t want you to kill Isella.”
Carynne responded, lying down.
Raymond stopped in the middle of caressing Carynne.
“Do you dislike me because I kill people?”
His voice seemed to tremble slightly.
Raymond was a soldier. He had killed countless people. And Carynne had killed people in the past as well. Naturally, he hadn’t thought she would be repulsed by such actions. She hadn’t shown any signs of it before.
So why was Carynne saying this now?
Raymond felt himself getting anxious. What mistake had he made last time? Was it because of something trivial like a fingernail? Was she disgusted with Raymond out of sympathy for Verdic and Isella? During the times when Carynne had killed, she thought everything was justified. Had she developed a revulsion to killing after accepting reality, to the point of being burdened by Raymond?
Raymond bit his lower lip.
The thought of Carynne rejecting him was unimaginable. He loved Carynne as much as she loved him, or so he believed. And that was a matter beyond doubt. They were the only ones who could understand each other.
Carynne said just him alone wasn’t enough. What did that mean?
Initially, he thought it was a matter of convenience. But it was more than that. Carynne said she also needed friends. Raymond thought Carynne alone was enough for him. It wasn’t fair.
“Have I disappointed you?”
“What are you talking about?”
Carynne frowned and turned her body to the side. Raymond lay down beside her, feeling Carynne’s skin. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders and embraced her tightly.
“Sir Raymond?”
He wanted to return to their world alone. There was too much to think about in this world.
The idea of Carynne dying over and over terrified him. But lying close together like this, the anxiousness that threatened to kill his heart seemed to subside.
Maybe next time, they could escape more quickly. Perhaps he had acted too excessively the last time, making Carynne uncomfortable. Until ‘that day’ comes, he would ensure she was surrounded by servants and ladies of good character.
Maybe this was also alright.
Even if it was an endless eternity, if they were together, a few hundred years would pass in no time. Even with others around, only Raymond could understand Carynne, so she would always be by his side.
“…Ah.”
Raymond realized why he had been afraid to hold Carynne in his past life.
Deep down, he thought it might not be so bad if Carynne lived forever.
Carynne kept dying, but she always came back to life. Unlike the centuries when Raymond didn’t know Carynne properly, she wouldn’t commit suicide anymore, and they would continue to meet like this.
“Right now… in broad daylight.”
Carynne blushed but didn’t stop Raymond from advancing. They were still practically newlyweds. The heat they were experiencing was not just from Raymond alone. He embraced Carynne, and when she grimaced in discomfort, he stopped moving.
“Draw the curtains at least,” Carynne grumbled.
“There’s no building adjacent to ours, so no one will see.”
“Ahh, wait—”
Carynne grabbed the back of Raymond’s head, and their tongues entwined. Their clothes were hastily removed.
Raymond stopped thinking further. The mind is governed by the body.