NOVEL NEXT Chapter 1378: It's Finally Over, But At What Cost?
Chapter 1378: It's Finally Over, But At What Cost?
Aquarina, I miss you...
A lot happened today, more than I ever thought.
So much, that it made me miss all my friends, my mom, my brother.
And Aquarina too.
I wish they would have been here with us.
If they were, things would have been so much easier.
We lost Curse and Bark, two precious friends.
And I almost became permanently crippled if it wasn't for Curse's sacrifice.
I gained new dark powers, strong but dangerous, which only made me feel more terrified of myself than anything else.
And it also made me realize the fragility of life, and how much we give everything for granted.
A day ago, I was happy to know everyone was alive and happy.
That Bark was being a proud and honorable knight, teaching the soldiers about swordsmanship and chivalry. He was someone so nice to be around with.
That Curse was on his usual shenanigans, pranking Beelzebub, laughing with Furoh, eating with my gang of familiars, and sometimes giving me interesting advice. Despite how he didn't like to talk, he ended talking a lot with me.
Yet now, they're gone...
Forever.
...
Life is so fragile...
Even if one was a cursed spirit born from a sentience of a spirit carried across generations, and the other was the reincarnation of a once chivalrous knight made into a plant person.
They were still lives, living beings.
And that they died...
It's all my fault.
My negligence, my mistakes, my childishness.
I've been too relaxed, even after everything.
I thought that after what happened in Eastgrain, that I would no longer be so relaxed and take everything for granted.
But living in Agartha made me softer and weaker, perhaps I became stronger magically and physically, but my own confidence became my undoing.
I thought that everything would always go well... no matter what.
But no, it didn't go well.
It didn't... go well...
"Sylphy..."
My father looked at me with eyes filled with empathy.
I was crying so much, I looked like such a mess.
We were in front of the grave that everyone made for Bark, right behind the church and the giant tree, it was made of stone covered with moss.
There were a few words engraved there, it took us only an hour to make this, Bark left nothing behind, as his body and powers were gifted to Ivy.
Yet she confirmed that what she felt as his "soul" was now completely gone, it had only been by her side temporarily...
"It's my fault... It's all my fault..."
My father hugged me tightly, letting me cry over his chest.
"It's not... your fault," he muttered. "These things happen... there are things, always, that happen beyond our grasp, beyond what we can do. I know it's... hard. But don't blame yourself, you worked and did everything you could to solve the problem, and... Sylphy, don't cry. Or you're going to make your old man cry too."
My father was also in tears, even if he wasn't even close with these people, even if he had never seen them before.
Maybe he empathized with my pain, and also cried because of it.
"B-But if I hadn't been so stupid... if I had paid attention earlier, if I hadn't been so relaxed, maybe I could have..."
"I would say that blaming yourself for their death is too much, my apprentice."
Suddenly, Felicia walked to my side.
"You see, we always wonder so many times about what we could have done, always wondering what we should have done, that we never stop to think what we've done, and what we can do now," she said. "I know you feel that way, and that's good too. It means you truly care, and it means you want to change and become better. However, the responsibility of such a huge place as this dungeon, all being I your hands, is too extreme. As your father said, there were things that would eventually happen, beyond what you can do, beyond what you could have predicted. And there's no stopping them."
"But..."
"No buts!" she said, smiling at me and then hugging me tightly. "I know how you feel... I've also lost many friends... And I've cried for every one of them until my eyes became red and dry! However, if you only blame yourself for their deaths, you will never be able to move on, and you'll only grow worse. These people, think about them. What would they want you to do now? Would your Spirit want you to be crying? Would Bark want to see his master all sad?"
"I-I guess they wouldn't..." I sighed.
"Exactly," she smiled warmly, almost like the aunt I never had. "You said your spirit sacrificed himself to give you the power to overcome the evil god's poison that was paralyzing your body and separating it from your soul, right? He didn't do it so you would cry and mourn his death. He wanted you to keep on living and striving forwards."
"Curse..." I muttered, my lips trembling, I couldn't stop the tears.
"And what about Bark?" asked Felicia.
"He... he wanted you to be strong, goddess Sylphy," said Ivy. "He would be very sad if he saw you crying this way... He died to protect me too, so partially, it's my fault... I've cried a lot already... And... we have to keep moving, forwards."
She gently patted my shoulders, but then as if she couldn't resist, she ended hugging me
tightly.
I felt her tears falling over my shoulders.
"Please don't cry... don't cry anymore, goddess Sylphy..." she muttered. "I never thought it would hurt me so much to see such a beautiful person crying so much, you're a good person, the mistakes we commit doesn't make us bad people... everyone commit mistakes, we can't help it. We aren't perfect..."
"Ivy..." I hugged her back, she was big now, but very comforting.
It reminded me a bit of the hugs Aquarina would give me.
I would feel completely encompassed by her big arms and protected.
I miss her, I wish she was here to hug me.
"Thank you... I get it, I'll stop crying, dammit..."
I sighed; I just couldn't really cry when everyone here would get even sadder if I did.
"As the wielder of my curse, you must be strong! Stop with your emotional nonsense!"
I remembered Curse's words.
I guess he's not wrong.
I'll be strong, for you.