Reincarnated as the God of Shitty Life Counseling for Defective Washed Up Waifus

“Let’s start with solar energy. First of all, the efficiency of solar panels is absolute horse shit garbage standing at about 15-22%. If you’re using those cheap ones you aren’t going to even make a dent in the energy demand on a global scale anytime soon. If you use the really stupidly expensive high-efficiency ones topping out at about 30-34% that NASA uses you’ll bankrupt the country and destroy your economy in no time. Even if you did have enough high-efficiency solar panels, the amount you would need to satisfy the world’s demand for power is astronomical.”

“That isn’t the only problem, solar panels don’t last forever, at your civilizations present level of technology, they typically need to be replaced every 25-30 years. Their efficiency drops over time while your demand for energy will only increase as the global population continues to grow. You will eventually face a great supply and demand problem and you’ll be caught with your pants down when you realize your solar panel recycling process is still greatly underdeveloped and in its infancy stages.”

“Also there is a dirty little secret that they don’t tell you about the manufacturing process for solar panels, do you know what that is?”

“What is it?”

“It’s the fact that they burn shit loads of coal just to make those solar panels. Fabricating the panels also requires chemicals such as sodium hydroxide and hydrofluoric acid, and the process uses water as well as electricity, the production itself emits what you humans call greenhouse gases.”

“The price for these solar panels end up being damn expensive compared to other forms of energy. While you’re getting fucked in the ass by these high costs, there exists some rich investor in the tech reaping all the rewards of the beautiful ideal to save the world through this fake dream of renewables they’re selling to you. Those not for profit labels some businesses have is a complete and utter sham. Every business at its core exists to generate some form of revenue.”

“What? That can’t be…”

“It very well can be. You just need to be more aware and not be led by the nose by the bullshit narrative being spun by these profiteers. If you fall into their trap, it will be too late to cry about it later on when you realize you’ve been duped.”

“That’s just solar though, surely wind-

“Is also complete garbage. 50% efficiency is about what you get from turbines, while the maximum theoretical limit you can achieve is 59%.”

“That’s still pretty good though. If we have that it’s sure to work out, right?”

“Wrong. Completely wrong and naive. Do you have any idea how much material goes into those wind turbines? It’s a lot. They’re large and bulky, they take up a lot of space. You’re going to kill wildlife in the process as well. They’re noisy as fuck. You aren’t going to want to have a shit load of those around a city. You can’t put them everywhere either. They’re also super unreliable. Just like how you can lose several days of solar energy on a cloudy day, what happens when there’s just no wind? You’ve got yourself some useless large pillars, piles of junk collecting dust, doing nothing at all to justify their own existence.”

“To operate wind turbines in mass also requires power from the grid, which uses fossil fuels to function anyway. Even their construction requires the use of fossil fuels. They’ll require maintenance and upkeep as well. Then need to eventually be replaced. What do they do with that giant thing after? They can recycle 85% of it, but not all of it. You’d be surprised how hard it is to recycle the composite fiberglass in the blades. And that’s assuming they even bother to recycle it. It may cost them more to recycle it than it’s worth so you’d get places that forgo recycling it all together. You don’t live in a perfect world after all. Not everyone is going to be an honest goody-two-shoes upstanding samaritan who does their part.”

“Oh yeah, and get the biggest joke, the lifespan for these giant fucking things are only 20-25 years. It’s fucking less than solar panels. What a goddamn joke. Just spit in someone’s face and tell them to eat out of their own asshole why don’t you? ”

“God, it surely can’t be as bad as you say.”

“Hahaha. You really think so? Look, I’ll tell you another a big secret.”

“What is it?”

“What the fuck are you going to do when you’re hit by a natural disaster like a freak of a hurricane? Your little solar panels are pretty fucked, aren’t they? Wouldn’t they also be shattered and broken if struck by heavy hail the size of tennis balls? As for winter, they will be covered by snow that needs to be cleared off otherwise you can expect a dip in its efficiency. They like to be optimistic and say rain helps to keep your panels operating efficiently by washing away any dust or dirt, what they don’t like to say is when it is actually raining they’re just junk.”

“As for those wind turbines, you’ll be lucky if they aren’t washed away and toppled in the freak hurricane I mentioned. Good luck with the clean up if that happens. “

“I get the concern you mentioned about natural disasters… but aren’t you forgetting we can store that energy for later?”

“Hahaha. I knew you’d bring that up. Here’s a question, sure you can store some, but how will you store enough to meet your needs? Simply put, your battery tech is nowhere near the level it needs to be at. Sure, you can have these sources of energy, but what’s the point if you can’t store enough of it for when you really need it? Energy storage tech still has a very long way to go before you can store enough energy to satisfy the global energy demand.”

“There are also geopolitical considerations to take into the equation when it comes to this complex balancing act. Do you really think that poor nations can afford to buy into this expensive renewable push? No, they can’t. They will keep industrializing using old well-established methods because they don’t have developed enough infrastructure to leisurely sell expensive dreams to their people. They’re already struggling as it is just to get by from one day to the next. They don’t have the time to bother with what rich folk with their noses held up high in the air are nagging them about.”

“That can’t be…”

“It is. Face facts. Climate change isn’t something you stop. It’s something you adapt to, just as your great ancestors did before you.”

“I still can’t accept this. Surely there is something.”

“There’s still hydro, tidal, geothermal, and biomass.”

“You really want me to rip them to shreds that badly?”

“I don’t believe they’re all as bad as you let on.”

“They all have their pitfalls. Hydro for example requires large dams that disrupt not only human life but wildlife as well. There is also the threat they cause should they collapse. The economic damage a collapsed dam can cause can reach catastrophic levels. They are also costly in terms of maintenance and upkeep. Don’t underestimate the maintenance costs of keeping them in working order.”

“They depend greatly on precipitation levels as well from year to year so they can be an unstable supplier of energy at times. If the water levels rise too high above the capacity the dam can reasonably withstand, they may be forced to open floodgates to relieve that pressure, this could cause significant environmental and economic damage. Though even if floodgates are opened there is still the chance it cannot keep up.” 

“There are only so many places appropriate for hydro dam construction. They also take a long time to construct and cost a lot of money to build. Just constructing them does more damage to the environment than they’re worth. And yet again, a common trend among these renewable energy technologies is storing all that energy for later use.”

“With current energy storage technology, just how many batteries do you think you’re going to need if you’re to meet the world’s power demands? Well, the short answer is a lot more than what you’re presently capable of. First, you need the precious metals required for producing these batteries, however, the problem is certain key precious metals required for those state of the art, cream of the crop batteries aren’t necessarily accessible to you due to geopolitical constraints.” 

“There are naturally also limitations on how much of those precious metals can actually be extracted. The extraction process to acquire these precious metals also comes into question when you look into it deeper. There are also concerns regarding the health of the laborers to factor into the equation as well.”

“If you want to rely on batteries, there are countless hurdles that need to first be overcome. There are similar problems with alternative energy storage methods such as fuel cells. The high cost of production is one. While it too also uses another rare precious metal that is not easily obtainable in large quantities. Naturally, like everything else these sorts of technologies have a life span as well. About five years in each case.”

“Anyway, enough of this. Let’s move onto tidal. They cost a lot to construct as you’d expect, they fuck with marine life, they depend on the sea level and intensity of sea waves which is unreliable in and of itself, and there are only so many places they can be set up. Are you seeing the pattern yet? They’re all freaking expensive cash grabs that are very circumstantial with limited utility.”

“This… can’t be…”

“Well, it’s true.”

“Are you telling us to give up?”

“I’m telling you to give up on outright stopping climate change and accept it for what it is, a natural part of your life. It’s going to happen no matter what you do. All methods have a reliance on fossil fuels to a certain degree. That will not change. You’re using what you want to stop using to make things that require the thing you want to stop using. It’s just a circular jerk of nonsense they’re feeding you.”

“Then… geothermal?”

“Well, geothermal comes with its own environmental concerns. There are toxic metals that will be released into the atmosphere and contaminate reservoirs when using it, the same gasses you’re trying to reduce on emissions are also typically found beneath the Earth’s crust so they will get released into the atmosphere as well, though it’s still less than fossil fuels. As you’d expect they’re once again expensive to construct. You could also fuck with the landscape itself leading to surface instability where the Earth’s surface sinks lower. You could potentially trigger earthquakes that could be strong enough to raise a city to the ground if you’re not careful.”

“Biomass…”

“Biomass? Hehe. The biggest joke ever. They won’t tell you this upfront, but to meet energy demands in terms of efficiency, they will include coal when burning biomass anyway. They tell you about how it costs less to extract it, but the key there is the word extract. There are very high costs related to transporting and storing it. It takes up a lot of space after all. It requires a lot of water as well to keep growing it. Then health concerns also arise from it as well anyway as it does pollute the air when burned. It’s only seen as net neutral assuming you plant it and it grows back quickly. But sadly, it just doesn’t work that way in reality. People who promote it are living in an idealistic world.”