Chapter 43. Leaving the Nest?
Anna Fox ate a pill, and felt her mind swirl. She’s been thinking a lot lately. Thoughts she didn’t know she should have, and her father seemed pleased. There were a few other siblings, but they’ve stepped out to rest. Some would go back to their own homes to cultivate.
“You’re doing well.”
Anna shook her head. She got things in her mind. Her cultivation inched closer to the peak of the 3rd realm. A level she thought she wouldn’t reach. The 7th stage of the 3rd realm wasn’t much, but it was faster than she thought she would ever be.
“At your current level. I believe this should help you reach the 4th realm in another two to four years.” Her father said her spiritual roots would have to be upgraded later, to supply a larger, stronger cultivation. Meddling with spiritual roots sounded dangerous, but somehow, her father looked absolutely confident.
The same father once told her spiritual roots were fixed. That was something he said, many, many years ago. Her father changed. The past one and a half years was all the evidence she needed.
She couldn’t stand it anymore. “Father.”
Tundra looked at her, and she looked at him. There was something in his eyes that made her feel as if she was talking to someone else. He blinked first, and after what felt like a long thought process, he tapped the seat next to him. “Yes?”
“Will it be alright? All of this? Whatever you are preparing us for.” Anna’s first thoughts was some kind of clairvoyance. She heard families that started behaving strangely, at least from her merchant friends, when their patriarch met some astrologer or oracle. The stars aligned, and gave a warning.
Tundra looked at her, and she noticed the wrinkles on his face. A cultivator of his level could choose whatever appearance they so desired, but often, the flesh reflects the state of mind. Someone who felt old adopted the form of someone older. His hair was always greyish, with streaks of white, but the whiteness of his white hair seemed brighter.
“I mean- did you see an oracle?”
Tundra blinked again, and then he smiled. “I would say so. The future- It’s not a pleasant place for us.”
Anna looked away and wished there were snacks in the room. She should have something to eat when she processed something so difficult. “Are we all going to die?”
“I hope not.” Her father looked distant. “There will be people trying to tempt us with power, money, connections. They will offer us hope when it feels like we have nowhere to go. We will have to be wary.”
“That sounds like a cult.”
“It is a cult.” Tundra nodded, and patted her head. She was already an adult, and yet for a moment, it was as if she was a child again. His hands went back on his own.
“Are we doing enough?” Anna asked, unsure why that was on her mind.
Tundra’s sigh was all the answer she needed.
“We’re terrible, isn’t it?” Anna looked at the rest of her siblings and half siblings. “Annaly’s been asking me for tips, and I realized I couldn’t give her much.”
“It takes decades of study.” Tundra said. “I may have been a little too ambitious. I sometimes forget what is normal, I have been too used to disciples who are-” Tundra stopped midway, realizing he probably should not have said it.
“Ridiculously talented?”
“Yeah.” Her father said, and Anna felt like her father was remembering something, rather than just regurgitating theory. Something happened a year and a half ago. “How’s Annaly? If my granddaughter needs personal tutorship, you can send her to me.”
Anna paused, a little reluctant. It didn’t feel quite right to let her own daughter face her father directly. Somehow, she, as a mother of one, wanted to be there. “I- I’ll talk to her first. If she really needs guidance, I will bring her to you.”
Tundra nodded, and looked at her. “How old is Annaly this year?”
She had to mentally count. “81. I think. She’s in the 2nd realm.”
The two sat quietly.
The fog in her mind seemed to clear a little more. The thoughts seemed to make more sense. “She’s growing. The pill helped.”
“I see.” Tundra looked away, distant. After a while, her father asked. “Who does she spend time with?”
That stumped Anna, that whatever questions on her mind suddenly vanished, and her head turned to look at her father. It stumped her so much that all she could do was repeat her father’s question, as if she recited it as an attempt to understand it. “Who does she spend time with?”
“Yes. Does- does she have friends?”
“Of course she does-” Anna answered with utmost certainty, only to stop midway. She wasn’t certain at all. “Actually, I don’t know. I think she mostly spends time in her room. She- she has some friends, the merchant ladies-”
Anna was fairly sure Annaly had friends. But that was many, many years ago, and maybe they’ve grown older.
Her father looked at her, and then sighed. “How about you, Anna? Do you have friends?”
“Me?” Anna paused as she tried to make sense of everything. The question made her wonder. A cultivator often doesn’t notice time passing. Cultivation’s singular focus on the movement of energy and internal soul fluctuations tended to blind them to the world outside. “I- I suppose I do, but I have not spoken to them in years. Friends of Josh. Back when he was a wandering cultivator. Back when he lived.”
Tundra looked at her, a little sympathetic. “Who do you talk to, usually?”
“The servants. The merchants. Annaly. Larian and his wife, occasionally. Their kids.” Anna felt like she was really dredging the hole.
“Do you not mix with the disciples?”
“No. They- they’re different.” Anna said suddenly. There was always an invisible barrier between the disciples and family. Family members were there not because of merit at all. They were there because they were born as his children.
The different mindsets meant the two groups generally didn’t mingle unless necessary. The disciples have their own dining area, and the two existed side by side but almost rarely interacted.
Tundra just nodded, as if this was entirely what he expected.
“I see. I should be making more friends. Friends with children that I can introduce to all of you.”
“Really?” Anna felt concerned. “Why?”
“Do you not want more friends?”
At this point, Anna didn’t get it. There were things her father said when she was younger that didn’t match up and the conflict was now more apparent in her mind. “Father, was it not you who said that cultivators walk the path of the heavens alone? That cultivation is a solitary affair, and all the rest could do is guide and teach, but the path is one we take alone. We spend years in our homes, concentrating our minds and effort on improving our body and spirit, and so we are rewarded with longer lives. Things like friends are distractions. So- why friends?”
Anna’s sudden rebuke made Tundra pause. He seemed pleased, though a little, to Anna’s surprise, embarrassed. “I did say such things, and would you accept it if I say I was lacking experience?”
“Lacking experience?”
“I saw, in a dream, of a life where those who failed. Few recover when they fail, but those that do recover are supported by family, and friends. There are times when we have nothing left in ourselves to push ourselves onward, and it is times like that we rely on our friends.”
Anna looked at her father. It was such a shrewd way of putting value on friends. “Really, is that what friends are for? People we rely on in times of need?”
Tundra looked a little embarrassed. For a moment, the father and daughter shared a long, long moment of silence.
Anna looked at her father and saw, in a brief moment, a lifetime of weariness.
“I do have a tendency to view things in future value. It is perhaps one of my greatest, most persistent faults. One that I have not succeeded in rectifying. I am good at valuing tradeoffs, it is one of the things that makes me a good alchemist, as I weigh the benefits and disadvantages of different materials. It is a good skill to have, as a sect master, to make decisions based on incremental net benefit to the sect.”
The words sounded like her father was justifying his views to her, yet the tone came out as if he was justifying it to herself. Her father stopped, and looked outside at the setting sun. He probably had another session with her stepmothers later.
“But you are right. It is a little calculative and selfish that I weigh and treat friends that way. I hope my children have friends, because I want a future benefit for all of you. Connections. Network. Opportunities.” Tundra said. “Would you walk with me, Anna?”
Anna nodded, as the two of them walked out of the cultivation room and into the corridors. There were outer disciples practicing in the central courtyard. Physique training was important in the lower realms, though for someone like her father, his physique was entirely at his spirit’s whim.
Tundra led her through the winding corridors, and then, to a section of the Sect with a peaceful garden. Sect Elder Severian Grey meditated in a quiet verandah. “I want my children to have friends. I know it is selfish, but my children and descendants should learn how to make friends. At home, and in our home city, we can rely on our family, on our sect. But when we are far away, it is our friends that will look after us.”
The first daughter sighed. “It’s still so calculative.”
“Yes. The reason why to have friends may seem calculative, but I do make genuine friends. I do not treat my loyal friends as tools.” Tundra said.
“You were not like that. Not to people outside of our sect. If the prize was right-”
Tundra looked away. “You are right. But good friends are worth it. When all seems lost, it is them who stand with you. Some of them are even better than family, because both of you chose to be there for each other.”
Anna sighed. “So what should we do?”
“I’m thinking of sending all my grandchildren away to other sects where they can be regular disciples.”
“What?” Anna turned abruptly, unaware of the suggestion Tundra made to Edison some time before. On paper, most sects were meritocratic, but there were always admissions by way of recommendations, or friendly reasons.
“Friendly sects, of course. Ideally, I would prefer to send them to a larger sect, a great sect, the greater pretender sect where our children can be more than equals. Where our children and grandchildren can see what it is like to be judged on their own qualities. A chance for them to step out of my shadow, earn their own reputation, and build their own network of contacts and friends. Our family has not given our children a chance to shine, and I should not be holding them back from seeking greener pastures elsewhere.”
It was unthinkable. In the era when Tundra was a warmongering sect leader that swallowed up other sects, his children and grandchildren would be targets for kidnappings, ransom, and assassinations.
Still, Anna looked at her father. “Do you want to send me to another sect as a disciple, father?”
“Maybe. Would you like to go somewhere? I can find a sect that should take you in. It wouldn’t even be that harsh, once we have a flying ship or two, travel between sects will be fairly convenient.”
Anna stared at her father, and wondered. She heard tales from her late husband, about a time when he used to wander from city to city. Life as a wandering cultivator was one of adventure, of doing odd tasks at the request of city officials or rich merchant guilds. A mercenary.
Their family never traveled much. Their home was the safest place.
“I- I don’t know. I have to think. What about Annaly?”
“Once she reaches the 3rd realm she should be able to get admission to some of the greater pretender sects too. It should not be too difficult to arrange for both of you to join the same sect.”
“Mother and daughter in the same sect sounds weird.”
“It is not unusual.” Tundra said. “Many sects would happily admit 3rd realms.”
“I feel a little too old for it. I guess Annaly might be better suited for it. I’ll have to talk to her.”
“You’re not even 300 years old.” Her father frowned. “Some sect masters are incredibly old, like Patriarch Whitedragon. He’s rumored to be 24,000 years old. You’re still a whelp in his eyes.”
She gulped, and yet, she wondered what it’ll be like to live without her father’s presence in her life.
A little bit of her was excited.
The larger part of her stared back at her father, and wondered whether this really was happening.
“-do you know which sect?”
“I’ll find one.” Tundra said.