Reborn as the Iron Queen: Love and Gunpowder in the Civil War

Manhattan's ticker symbols were crumbling along with the Arctic ice cap when Eleanor ripped off the cryopod catheter and inserted it into her uterus.The CSA-05's robotic palm was pressed against her wrinkled belly, and a countdown to doom pulsed through the child's pupils: "Mom, your menopausal hormone index is 2,140 times over the limit...immediate long recommended! Greenland real estate!"

"No, baby." She shoved the menopause diagnosis into the ICBM silo, "I'm going to show those vultures on Wall Street - a woman's anger melts before their iceberg futures do!"

Suddenly, a satellite image from the White House War Room shows the temperature in the Arctic Circle spiking 47 degrees Celsius. The Morgan mogul's video call comes out of a glacial crevasse, his cold suit caked with ice picks, "Bitch! You tampered with my carbon trading records..."

Eleanor kicks over the thermal imager, melted glacial water pouring into the trading terminal, "You should have thought of this day when you said women were emotional-" she rips open her oophorectomy scar, dark red menstrual blood spattering over the satellite console, the "Now, let the world see the true flood of capital!"

CSA-03 suddenly stormed off. The child rips off his own robotic arm and inserts it into the climate control hub, black crude oil with Bitcoin code gushing from the severed cross-section: "Mom, lubricate the Earth's axis with my blood...the North Pole can be deflected another five degrees!"

Eleanor stood atop the Nasdaq clock tower waving the menopause report as the first trillion-ton ice shelf crashed into the Atlantic. Gusty winds swirled her silver hair, which was tangled in The Iceberg Futures Burst List - each name corresponding to a melting glacier.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" She ripped back the hysterectomy gauze for the CNN live camera, "Welcome to the first climate shorting carnival in the history of mankind-"

Morgan Mogul's iceberg futures account begins to blow up like crazy.CSA-04 maneuvers a flood of melting ice to overwhelm the Chicago Board of Trade, and the kid sits on a paper boat folded from the Kyoto Protocol screaming, "For every trader that drowns...Mom's hot flash index drops 0.5 degrees Celsius!"

Suddenly, the mechanical heart of CSA-01 sounds a piercing alarm. The national television channel has been hijacked, and the footage shows the Lincoln clone constructing a time capsule at the South Pole - with Eleanor's donated eggs from when she was twenty years old frozen inside. "Honey, for every iceberg you melt..." the clone licks the surface of the ice coffin, "I'll thaw an egg to create a new CSA killer."

Eleanor channels menopausal hot flash energy into a Tesla coil. The moment lightning struck the Statue of Liberty, the torch transformed into a giant ovary shape, jetting flames that turned Manhattan into a furnace: "Want my egg? Take the future of the entire planet!"

Morgan Mogul's submarine explodes in melting ice, splashing debris into new cryptocurrency symbols.CSA-02 takes the opportunity to inject radioactive menstrual blood into the ocean currents, and the Atlantic Ocean instantly boils like a trading floor during a Wall Street meltdown: "Mom, every drop of seawater now contains 0.0001% of the Dow Jones Index...a human breath would trigger a debt crisis! !"

Late at night, Eleanor rummages through the flooded Wall Street Stock Exchange looking for the cryopod key. Floating under the water is the half-finished body of CSA-06 - the climate weapon synthesized from the DNA of her aborted fetus with polar bear genes. Suddenly, the key was inserted into her shriveled cervix, activating an AI voice that had been buried for twenty years:

"Congratulations on triggering the Doomsday Protocol, now broadcasting: the Womb Colonization Clause 2140, which you signed in 2023 - automatically initiating the Earth Formatting Process when natural fertility ends."

Three hundred miles away, the Antarctic ice cap explodes into a giant QR code.CSA-07 breaks out of the ice coffin of the Lincoln clone, and the barcode in the palm of the baby's hand reveals: genetic source: eleanor menopausal cells x Morgan Tycoon frozen sperm x bitcoin miner wreckage.