NOVEL NEXT Chapter 73 - Still alive
“…I’m sorry, YouYu.”
“If only I had been stronger, maybe I could’ve saved you.”
“If only I had noticed sooner, maybe none of this would’ve happened.”
“So please… forgive me, YouYu.”
“Forgive me…”
…
“WuYue? Are you alright?”
“WuYue?”
“…YouYu?”
After an unknown amount of time in unconsciousness, WuYue finally heard someone calling her name. Forcing her eyes open, she sat up slowly, turning toward the source of the voice.
What she saw was Bai Yu, her face as drained and weary as WuYue imagined her own must look.
Seeing WuYue awake, though her expression was blank and dazed, Bai Yu let out a small sigh of relief. Pressing her lips together, she spoke:
“WuYue, thank goodness you’re awake. You were unconscious for such a long time after I brought you back. I thought I might need to take you to the hospital.”
“…”
When WuYue didn’t reply, Bai Yu fell silent for a moment. Then, with a faint, strained smile, she continued:
“Anyway, WuYue, you should eat something. I’ll go grab something for you. Just stay in bed and rest for now—you must be exhausted after everything that’s happened.”
“…”
“Alright.”
WuYue nodded without a word, quietly agreeing.
“I’ll be right back, then.”
“Okay.”
With that, Bai Yu left the room. WuYue lay back down, her gaze fixed on the ceiling. She didn’t close her eyes, simply staring upward, as though nothing had happened.
She stared blankly, as if lost in thought, her expression detached and still.
But before she realized it, a single tear slid from the corner of her eye.
Then another, and another, until they flowed freely.
“…I’m sorry, YouYu.”
“…I’m so sorry.”
Her voice was faint, nearly swallowed by the silence of the room. Tears streamed down her face, but her expression didn’t waver. She murmured as though speaking to herself, the words fragile yet heavy.
Moments ago, in the darkness of her sleep, the dream came again. That same scene where she, in desperation, had tried to stop “YouYu” with her own hands—attempting to kill him.
Even though she had failed, the dream replayed endlessly, as if to remind her: ‘You turned your blade on the one you were meant to protect. There’s no going back.’
She had remained trapped in that nightmare until Bai Yu’s voice woke her.
But now, she wasn’t haunted by the dream.
What lingered in her mind was reality: that moment when she truly acted.
That moment when YouYu’s burning body stood before her.
…
She had failed.
Everything she swore to protect, she had failed.
She had promised herself she would protect YouYu no matter what.
But in the end, it was by her own hands—her own hands—that she “killed” him.
As the thought consumed her, WuYue’s silent tears turned into trembling sobs, then into a heart-wrenching wail.
In this moment, she was no different from the others who had suffered loss.
After the passing of someone deeply cherished, one might not immediately cry or feel sorrow. Instead, there’s often a numbness that takes over.
But as time passes, when confronted with things that remind you of them, memories inevitably resurface—vivid, bittersweet recollections of how they once were.
And as those memories play out, the realization of their absence sets in.
That’s when grief comes crashing down.
Especially for WuYue, whose most important person was YouYu.
…
“You keep saying ‘I’m sorry,’ WuYue,” Bai Yu muttered under her breath. “Hearing it so much… it’s just… sigh.”
Bai Yu had been standing outside the door for a while, a tray of food in her hands. When she heard WuYue’s sobs, she hesitated, unable to bring herself to step inside.
Instead, she stayed there, listening to WuYue’s cries and her words of self-reproach.
“So, what Ouja said… it was true after all.”
WuYue had truly tried to stop YouYu, even to the point of attempting to kill him.
“If only I’d gotten there sooner…”
Clenching her fists tightly, Bai Yu bit her lip, frustration and regret welling up inside her.
…
After a moment of silence, she exhaled deeply. Wiping the corner of her eyes with her sleeve, she turned to glance at the small mirror hanging on the wall beside her.
Her reflection stared back—red-rimmed eyes betraying the tears she had fought so hard to hold back.
Once she was sure she had composed herself, Bai Yu pushed open the door and walked into the room.
WuYue was still crying softly. But when she noticed Bai Yu’s presence, her sobs began to quiet.
By the time Bai Yu approached, WuYue had stopped altogether.
“…I’m sorry.”
She sat down on a chair nearby, her voice low and heavy with guilt.
“I wasn’t able to get to you in time back then. I let you face all of that alone.”
“No, Bai Yu, you don’t need to apologize,” WuYue interrupted, shaking her head as she noticed Bai Yu’s trembling shoulders and the way she had lowered her head, her body tense.
“Rather… I should be thanking you.”
“…Thanking me?”
“Yes,”
Seeing Bai Yu’s expression turned to one of disbelief, forcing a faint smile, WuYue said,
“Back then, because of my failure, I couldn’t protect YouYu. He was controlled my Night Demon and turned into a Negative beast.”
“I tried everything I could think of to save him, but no matter what I did, I couldn’t bring him back.”
“In the end… I had no choice. To prevent him from hurting others, I had to kill him.”
“…But I couldn’t do it.”
WuYue looked down at her clenched fists and shook her head slowly.
“I couldn’t let go of my feelings for YouYu. I couldn’t harden my heart enough to do it. I failed.”
After a pause, she continued:
“The only reason we were able to return here is because… Bai Yu, you must have killed YouYu, right?”
“I don’t blame you for it. In fact… I’m grateful to you.”
“Because I couldn’t do it. Even the promise he and I made to each other—I couldn’t keep it.”
“So… thank you.”
…
Bai Yu remained silent for a long time after WuYue’s words, her expression unreadable. Finally, she let out a deep sigh and spoke.
“No, WuYue. You’ve been unconscious, so you don’t know the full picture yet. I don’t fully understand everything either, but there’s one thing I’m certain of.”
“What is it?”
Bai Yu met WuYue’s gaze, her voice steady despite the weight of her words.
“YouYu… he’s still alive.”