Precious Thing

“You dare to bring the son of a whore in here.”Chairman Lee spoke with steely eyes, and Lee Yesin, who was the target of his gaze, felt his breath tighten. His face burned, and his heart gradually slowed. Clenching his fists, Lee Yesin dug his nails into his palms.“…I’m that whore’s son.”“No, no. Do you have any idea how we raised you? How we washed away the dirty blood you were born with? Hmm? It’d make your grandfather upset to hear you talk like that.”“Do you really think that’s a reason?”“It’s enough. So keep your mouth shut and pretend you don’t know. Then nothing like this will happen again.”Chairman Lee waved his hand toward the people laughing and chatting nearby. Lee Yesin pictured the faces of those who had stabbed Hangyeol in the back today. Rapid promotions, parachute appointments, crime cover-ups… Most of them were indebted to Chairman Lee, or were his children. Whether Chairman Lee had ordered them to speak or not, Lee Yesin didn’t know. But there was one thing he was sure of: Chairman Lee didn’t care about him.“You can’t handle it.”Lee Juho said, smoothing his neatly slicked-back hair with his palm. Lee Yesin, who had been bowing his head, slowly raised it.“You can’t handle that criticism. Do you know how I raised you?”“……”“If you expose it all, it’s all yours. So while I’m giving you a chance, live quietly with Hangyeol. I promise you. I’ll give you everything. But if you want to keep living recklessly, go ahead.”“……”“If you understand, sit down.”Chairman Lee, holding his glass, gestured toward Lee Yejun, who was standing away from the table. Lee Yejun, who had been talking with others, nodded courteously but not submissively, and approached the table.“You two haven’t met in a while. Greet each other properly. Where’s Yejin? Off taking pictures again somewhere?”Chairman Lee’s voice faded away. Lee Yesin blinked and watched as Lee Yejun approached. He patted Lee Yesin on the shoulder.“Don’t cause trouble.”Lee Yejun didn’t know. Neither did Yejin, nor Lee Juho’s siblings and their children. The only ones who knew about this were Chairman Lee, Lee Juho, Yoon Seokyung, Lee Yesin, and Hangyeol. That’s why Lee Yejun was looking at him with such a pathetic gaze.Lee Yesin took his phone from his jacket pocket. Lee Juho reached out naturally. Lee Yesin glanced at his empty hand, then removed the SIM card from the phone. He placed it on the table and picked up a knife. Slam! He drove the knife straight into the SIM card. His hand slipped, and his palm stung, but he didn’t care. He pulled the knife out of the table and crushed the broken chip in his hand. Then he dropped it into a champagne glass and drank it in one gulp.“…Yesin, what are you doing?”He reached for the vase in the center of the table and pulled out the flowers. He placed the now-useless phone inside the vase.“Do you have any idea how many lawyers I’ve met?”“……”“Over 50. Do you know why I sold my shares? If Hangyeol goes through something like this again, if you break the promise to leave the two of us alone, I’ll blow everything up and go down with you.”The immediate family members who had been gathering around the table held their breath and watched them. Chairman Lee, staring at the black phone submerged in the transparent vase, nodded.“…Fine. I promise. Sit down.”Lee Yesin walked to a seat far from Chairman Lee, pulled out the chair, and sat. The people who had been nervously glancing around took their seats. A waiter in a crisp uniform cleared the vase and began serving the course meal. Lee Juho’s younger brother fawned over Chairman Lee, suggesting he say a few words. He’d come prepared with a wireless microphone, as if determined to make a show of it. Chairman Lee rose, smiling benevolently, and said a few words. Of course, none of it registered with Lee Yesin.“Is something wrong?”Lee Yejin, who was sitting next to him, gently nudged his arm and asked quietly. Lee Yesin turned and looked at her.“Sis. You know we don’t really look alike, right?”“What? Are you bragging that you’re prettier than me? You little brat.”Lee Yesin smiled. He threw a compliment about her beauty at the grumbling Lee Yejin and chatted with his cousins, whom he hadn’t seen in a while. It wasn’t hard. It wasn’t frequent, but it was familiar. What if Hangyeol had been here? No, what if they found out that Lee Yesin was Heejeong’s son?‘You can’t handle it.’There was nothing wrong with what Lee Juho had said. How many people can stand tall in the face of contemptuous stares? How many can boldly declare that they’re not wrong to the vast majority? Mockery, sarcasm, criticism, denial, curses, disdain. And the shame and humiliation that stem from them. If I had been just a little stronger, a little wiser, a little bolder. If I had been, I would have stood in front of you and shielded you from all those arrows. But I didn’t. Lee Yesin hadn’t. He was scared back then.“Secretary Park.”He called out to Park Jonghyeon, who was whispering something into Chairman Lee’s ear as he left. Park glanced at Chairman Lee’s reaction before approaching Lee Yesin. Chairman Lee willingly offered his fourth secretary as his grandchild’s errand boy.“Could you buy me a bouquet? Fill it with blue flowers.”“…What?”Lee Yesin glanced disinterestedly at his watch in response to the question. The meal had just begun, so it would take at least two hours.“Bring it to the front of the hotel in an hour.”Lee Yesin planned to leave after a few spoonfuls. Who’s it for? Yejin asked. Stirring the soup in front of him, Yesin replied softly.“…For my brother.”At least I tried. The creamy color of the soup slowly changed every time Lee Yesin’s spoon touched it. I tried to do something, didn’t I? He stared at the deep crimson soup and said, I tried my best. He took a spoonful of the boiling soup.‘It’s greedy.’But what do you want me to do? I can’t change what’s happened until now, but moving forward, I can at least do right by Hangyeol.‘It’s greedy.’I didn’t know…! I didn’t know I was living by taking what belonged to Hangyeol. I really didn’t know.‘It’s greedy.’Lee Yesin lifted the bowl of soup. And then flipped it over onto the table.“Hey, what are you doing?!”Lee Yejin jumped up from her seat, startled. Dark red soup dripped onto Lee Yesin’s white suit pants. He glanced down at his thigh before standing up.“I’ll be leaving now.”He said to Chairman Lee. The chairman, who had been smiling while conversing with others, turned his gaze toward Lee Yesin without changing his expression.“I’ll be leaving now, Chairman.”“Alright. Go ahead.”Walking away from the table, Lee Yesin made his way through the center of the hall, where round tables were set up on either side. People who were standing and chatting, as well as those eating, all turned their eyes toward him. The attention of others, which he had never cared about before, was now suffocating. Trying to conceal his trembling hands, Lee Yesin left the hotel.“No, I just said any blue flowers will do…!”Park Jonghyun, who spotted Lee Yesin, abruptly stopped his phone call mid-sentence.“I’ll pick them up myself.”“No, I’ll deliver them to you.”“I’m heading there directly. Just give me the address.”After a brief hesitation, Park Jonghyun told him the location of the flower shop. Lee Yesin nodded and borrowed some cash from him before heading to the shop.When he arrived, a man was already waiting outside with a bouquet of blue flowers, likely sent by Park Jonghyun. The man explained that he had gone around to several florists to gather blue flowers and that this was the best he could do. Lee Yesin understood why the man was giving excuses—the bouquet was large, but the colors didn’t harmonize well due to the focus on gathering just blue flowers. Still, it was beautiful. Lee Yesin reassured the man and accepted the bouquet, which emitted a variety of fragrances. Then he took the subway.Clang, clang. The subway was much cleaner than it had been when he rode it in elementary school. Screen doors had been installed for safety and suicide prevention, and the screens announcing the next station were greatly improved. He regretted not having his phone with him. He needed to leave evidence that he had taken the subway. He also wanted a picture of himself, holding the blue bouquet while dressed in a white suit. Reflecting on these thoughts, he got off at his stop. After getting his deposit back from the one-time ticket, he headed toward Go Hangyeol’s house.I’ll do better. I’ll do better than I have now. I’ll repay Go Hangyeol for his past life by making his future one better. I’ll always prioritize him, and no matter what it takes, I’ll make sure he gets what he wants. I’ll stand with him when the knives fly, and when he’s too overwhelmed with bad feelings to leave the house, I’ll hide under the blankets with him in fear. That should be enough. If I do that, then the two of us, like before, will pursue our dreams and be happy…‘It’s greedy.’The wind blew.It came through the wide-open window in the living room, scattering tissue scraps, causing books on the table to rustle, and shaking the young leaves in a small flowerpot. And Go Hangyeol swayed along with it.Thud. The blue bouquet slipped from Lee Yesin’s hands and dropped at his feet. The impact shook loose blue petals, which scattered and floated away. One petal, carried by the wind, landed at Go Hangyeol’s feet. It touched his hand, his waist, his chest, his neck, and his face. Go Hangyeol, eyes closed, gently turned toward Lee Yesin.“Han….”Before he could finish calling his name, his knees gave out. He clutched his chest, unable to breathe. Blue petals danced beneath Go Hangyeol’s floating feet.‘Sorry, I think my introduction last time was a bit clumsy.’The dark red soup that stained Lee Yesin’s white suit whispered as it slowly spread.‘Let me try again. Hi, I’m your indelible guilt.’Lee Yesin looked up at Go Hangyeol with a devastated expression. A single rose petal fell onto his thigh.‘And this here is my friend, regret. We’ll be working together from now on.’In the darkened living room, countless blue petals quietly floated in circles. Sitting on the floor, Lee Yesin said nothing, only watching the swaying figure of Go Hangyeol.It started that day. The day blue petals began to fill Lee Yesin’s world. Every time he lay down to sleep, a field of blue flowers stretched out before him.٠ ࣪⭑Life no longer held any appeal. The blue petals of regret engulfed Lee Yesin, and the world without Go Hangyeol was like an endless spring in the depths of hell. His clock had stopped at the night when he was still 19 years old.Slowly, Lee Yesin opened his eyes. He stared blankly at the petals that had fallen near his face before sitting up. His lower body felt numb, and there was little strength in his legs. His anus burned, as though it had been scorched.The unfamiliar sensations in his gut from the previous night left him terrified during the entire act. The man, whose face was as vulgar as his sex, had been relentless, and his manners in bed were abysmal. Still, there was no unpleasant residue left in his body. His skin felt clean, without a trace of stickiness, and though his insides felt a bit loose, nothing seemed to be leaking out. Lee Yesin roughly wiped his eyes and threw off the crinkling blankets. His dry throat urged him to get some water, but just as he moved his feet to the floor, he noticed the water bottle on the bedside table.Its surface was completely dry. Lee Yesin stared at the bottle for a moment before reaching for it and taking a drink. After downing about half of it, he looked around. Tae Woowon, who had voraciously devoured him until the morning, was nowhere to be seen.Lee Yesin, who knew him as Ji Geonwoo, thought Tae Woowon was a strange man. Despite being one of Chairman Lee’s lackeys, he displayed an inconsistent attitude toward Lee Yesin. One moment he would lash out with violence, and the next he would be incredibly kind. His face would harden with anger as if he were about to explode, only for him to indulge even the smallest of Lee Yesin’s requests. And yet, whenever he tried to offer something in return, Tae Woowon would draw a sharp line.With him, Lee Yesin slept well. No nightmares, and slipping into sleep wasn’t painful. Tae Woowon was like a healthy sleeping pill, and Lee Yesin wanted to keep him close. So, he reached out to him, asking him to come to his side. If his employment wasn’t just a job, if he wasn’t indebted to Chairman Lee, then he believed Tae Woowon would stand by him. He had been so kind, after all. But even when Lee Yesin offered more money, Tae Woowon refused. He was fully Chairman Lee’s man.Lee Yesin wasn’t disappointed. He hadn’t expected much in the first place. But it did sting a little. Where had that tender touch come from? Was it part of some grander scheme from Chairman Lee to humiliate him further?Slowly, Lee Yesin stood, forcing strength into his legs. He grasped the water bottle and walked to the desk, pulling out a drawer to retrieve his pills. Today was a day for sleep—a day to spend entirely in bed without moving. He opened the bottle and took out three pills. Due to frequent use, the sleeping pills no longer worked as well as they used to. At his worst, he had taken up to seven pills at once. That time, he had wandered out in the middle of the night and, like a sleepwalker, burned his own hair somewhere. Of course, Lee Yesin didn’t remember any of that.Gradually, Lee Yesin started reducing his medication, often spending sleepless nights. On particularly unbearable days, he would have sex. To sleep, it was either take the pills or have sex. Otherwise, he had to stay awake for several days, waiting until his exhausted body collapsed. Lee Yesin quietly stared at the pills in his palm. Should I just take them all at once? …Should I just end it?University was Lee Yesin’s only hope. It was the small respite he had found after a long period of wandering, a goal he thought he’d never be able to set again. Lee Yesin had planned to do the fashion show in place of Go Hangyeol. He intended to fulfill Go Hangyeol’s dream. Although the necklace he was presenting on stage wasn’t one he made, but something similar, he still prepared a women’s suit—something Go Hangyeol often sketched—as the centerpiece for his graduation exhibition. It was just around the corner. He just needed to endure this year. But everything fell apart.That day, when Lee Yesin found a knife tucked between his notebooks, he looked around. At that moment, he made eye contact with a senior, a couple of years older. He hated Lee Yesin. He always sneered at him and, on the days Lee Yesin received praise, he would silently shoulder-check him hard. Lee Yesin never reacted to these petty provocations.Then one day, the senior’s ex-girlfriend shyly confessed her feelings to Lee Yesin. They had broken up because of her feelings for Lee Yesin, and in his anger, the senior sought revenge. He spread shards of glass all over the base of Lee Yesin’s fitting mannequin. When Lee Yesin moved it, he cut his hand. Remembering this, Lee Yesin picked up the knife and waved it in front of the senior.“Your ex must’ve given me this dagger for self-defense.”Enraged, the senior lunged at Lee Yesin. Kwon Heechan, who had been standing nearby, was shocked and quickly intervened, pulling the two of them apart as they wrestled on the floor. With his neck being squeezed, Lee Yesin desperately struggled to break free, his hand fumbling until he grabbed something. Without checking what it was, he swung it at the senior’s head. Startled, the senior stood up, and the knife grazed his side. The people watching the commotion screamed. And just like that, Lee Yesin became labeled as a mentally unstable person who had stabbed someone.Now what do I have left to live for? Lee Yesin put the pills in his mouth. He twisted open the water bottle and drank. At that moment, the door opened.“Did you take the meds?”Tae Woowon, scanning the room with his eyes, asked. Lee Yesin stared at him silently. Tae Woowon looked great in a suit. Even to Lee Yesin, who was used to being around the kind of people who spent a lot of money, Tae Woowon looked impressive. So, when he first came on board as a bodyguard, Lee Yesin had thought, “At least he’s nice to look at.” But when that same Tae Woowon had spanked him, Lee Yesin had felt both anger and fear. The way Tae Woowon’s impassive face choked him and mercilessly moved his hands made Lee Yesin feel smaller and smaller. And after all that violence, Tae Woowon would stroke Lee Yesin’s head, put him to sleep, prepare his meals, and watch his mood. He was like a madman. A crazy pervert that Lee Yesin should never have gotten involved with. If things went wrong, he might devour him completely.“How many did you take?”Tae Woowon, approaching, dumped the pills from the bottle onto the desk. He pushed the pills aside with his finger as if counting, then grabbed Lee Yesin’s face.“When did you take them?”“…Mind your own business.”“You’ve been at it for four days. Spit it out.”Frowning, Lee Yesin slapped Tae Woowon’s hand away and took a step back, opening his mouth slightly. His lower back and hips ached, and there was a stinging sensation between his legs. Bending over from the unexpected pain, he heard Tae Woowon sigh and suddenly lift him into his arms.“What are you doing?!”Startled, Lee Yesin pushed at Tae Woowon’s shoulders. He wanted to struggle more, but his body was too messed up to put up a real fight. Thanks to that, Tae Woowon had no trouble carrying him into the bathroom. He sat Lee Yesin in front of the toilet, grabbed the back of his head roughly, and forced his fingers into Lee Yesin’s mouth. The fingers pressed deep into his throat, triggering a violent gag reflex. The pills and whatever liquid remained in his stomach spewed out.“Ugh…!”Even after two pills had been vomited up, Tae Woowon didn’t stop. Lee Yesin flailed, trying to push him away, but Tae Woowon’s grip on his hair tightened. He forced Lee Yesin’s throat open again, making him vomit a second time. Tears streamed down Lee Yesin’s face from the physical strain. After checking the toilet, Tae Woowon loosened his grip on Lee Yesin’s hair.Breathing heavily, Lee Yesin could feel his heart racing. Tae Woowon glanced at him before flushing the toilet, washing his hands, and helping Lee Yesin stand. Lee Yesin leaned between him and the sink, struggling to put any weight on his legs. Tae Woowon turned on the faucet and wiped Lee Yesin’s face clean.“What are you doing?”His throat hurt. His nose was stuffed, and his head was spinning. He swallowed the sticky saliva mixed with bile as Tae Woowon, ignoring his words, squeezed toothpaste onto a toothbrush and shoved it into Lee Yesin’s mouth.“Your arms still work, so brush yourself.”Tae Woowon forcibly lifted Lee Yesin’s arm to grip the toothbrush. Then he wrapped his arms around Lee Yesin’s waist, pressing his thick body, hidden beneath his dress pants, against Lee Yesin’s bare backside. Lee Yesin, leaning against the sink, mechanically moved his hand while glancing up. Tae Woowon was looking down at him through the mirror. Lee Yesin frowned and lowered his gaze.His body was covered in bruises. His neck was badly bitten, and scabs dotted his chest and collarbones. Straightening up slightly, he lightly pushed Tae Woowon’s arm away from his waist. That’s when he noticed the bruises and scratches near his ribs and belly button. He didn’t even want to imagine what the lower half of his body looked like. Sure, they’d had a wild night in the penthouse, but when Tae Woowon dragged him into the bathtub, things hadn’t been this bad. Most of the serious damage came from Tae Woowon’s hands. That crazy pervert…As Lee Yesin silently cursed him, Tae Woowon tightened his grip around his waist and filled a cup with water. He took the toothbrush from Lee Yesin’s hand and handed him the cup. When Lee Yesin raised it to his mouth, Tae Woowon was already wiping his lips. Lee Yesin stared at the large hand that brushed against his lips. It was always like this. By the time he realized what was happening, he was already under Tae Woowon’s control. Tae Woowon was an expert at both causing harm and administering care, sometimes without the victim even noticing.With clean lips, Lee Yesin sipped from the cup. He rinsed his mouth a few times and handed the cup back to Tae Woowon, who accepted it with a small laugh, then put it back in place. He bent down, slid his arms under Lee Yesin’s knees, and lifted him again.“Do you need to pee?”Just as Tae Woowon was about to leave the bathroom, Lee Yesin spoke up. It wasn’t a serious jab, but it was enough to satisfy him when Tae Woowon gave him an exasperated look. Tae Woowon turned around and set Lee Yesin down in front of the toilet. He lifted the lid and wrapped his arms around Lee Yesin’s waist again.“…Leave me alone.”“Aren’t you the one who couldn’t stand on your own?”“Of course I can stand. You’re the one who assumed I couldn’t and went overboard with your kindness.”“I’m going to keep being kind, so shut up and piss. Or should I help you hold it?”Lee Yesin turned around to Tae Woowon with a look of disbelief. Tae Woowon tilted his head, urging him to hurry. When Lee Yesin didn’t move, Tae Woowon reached out to grab his genitals.“Don’t touch me!”Lee Yesin slapped his hand away. He bit his lip, gripping himself as he began to urinate. His face grew hot. In the brief moment when his mind wandered, Lee Yesin had once again found himself swept up by Tae Woowon. Humiliated, he bit his lip harder, and his powerless bladder continued to release urine. Trembling, he looked down at the yellow stream hitting the water. Tae Woowon slowly stroked his waist. It felt like he was climaxing.The humiliation didn’t end there. Once they returned to the bed, Tae Woowon made Lee Yesin lie on his stomach and lift his hips high into the air.“Are you insane? What the hell are you doing!”Lee Yesin shouted furiously, propping himself up with his arms. Tae Woowon, unfazed, pushed his lower back down into the bed and pulled a tube of ointment from his pocket.“It’s not torn, but it’s chafed. Pretty swollen, too.”Tae Woowon squeezed a line of ointment near Lee Yesin’s tailbone, then tossed the container on the bed. Using his fingers, he smeared the ointment around Lee Yesin’s anus. The skin outside the swollen opening was slightly grazed. As soon as the ointment touched that area, Lee Yesin flinched.Lee Yesin always used condoms and lube during sex. Unlike a woman’s vagina, a man’s anus doesn’t naturally lubricate, so over time, the inner walls dry up and become sore. He was sure they had used plenty of lube last night at the penthouse. In fact, they had used an absurd amount. Even though there had been wilder nights before, he had never experienced any issues down there.The cause was Tae Woowon again. With his face flushed, Lee Yesin clutched the bedsheet as he allowed Tae Woowon’s hand to spread the ointment between the folds of skin. He had already shown him urinating; there wasn’t much more shame left in letting him apply some ointment. But the slowness of Tae Woowon’s touch made him feel strange.“Hurry up.”Tae Woowon glanced up, then removed his hand from Lee Yesin’s back and pried his hole open. Suddenly, he thrust a finger inside. Lee Yesin grabbed his wrist and pushed himself up, supporting his weight on his elbows.“Don’t put it in.”“Relax. I’m just checking inside before we end up at the proctologist’s. I’ll be gentle, and then I’ll close you up.”“…”“Lie down.”Lee Yesin hated him. He hated how Tae Woowon spoke so forcefully, how he showed no regard for Lee Yesin’s humiliation or emotions, and how he acted kindly at the same time. He hated everything about him. Reluctantly, he released Tae Woowon’s wrist and lay back down as he had been before. Burying his face in his arm, he closed his eyes. He hated him so much.“How does it feel to have slept with garbage?”When Lee Yesin first started to turn things around, Tae Woowon never looked him in the eye. He always cast a disdainful glance at him, his expression annoyed, as if watching a trashy movie while witnessing Lee Yesin’s sexual advances. Sure, Lee Yesin had drawn the line, saying not to touch him, but Tae Woowon distanced himself as if Lee Yesin were a germ that would infect him with a single touch.So he slept with him. Even in his right mind, Lee Yesin had grabbed his wrist and begged him for sex. You’re disgusting enough to sleep with me, even though you have a girlfriend. You’re the dirtiest one here. You report my every move to Chairman Lee—so are you going to tell him we fucked too? That’s why I did it, to mock you.“It was good, wasn’t it?”But Tae Woowon wasn’t fazed at all. His voice was as monotone as usual, and there was no trace of embarrassment in the way he probed Lee Yesin’s hole. Instead, it was Lee Yesin’s body that tensed. Tae Woowon withdrew his finger from the tightening hole and grabbed a tissue from the bedside table to wipe his hands.“You taste good.”“…”After lowering Lee Yesin’s hips, Tae Woowon draped the blanket over him. Then, he lay down next to Lee Yesin.“And you?”“…”“You said you’d kill me if I touched you, but you let me touch you, fuck you, and you came. How was it for you?”Lee Yesin, who had his face buried in his arm, turned his head to meet Tae Woowon’s gaze. He forced a smile.“It wasn’t good.”Tae Woowon chuckled softly and turned his face toward the ceiling, closing his eyes. Lee Yesin quietly observed the side of his face. Early thirties. Maybe mid-thirties. Judging by his face, he could be around that age. What kind of expression would his girlfriend wear when she had this man?“Tell your girlfriend. Tell her you slept with trash.”Tae Woowon opened his eyes lazily, blinking a few times before turning to face Lee Yesin. He propped himself up on one elbow and looked down at him, hand supporting his head. Due to the slight elevation, Lee Yesin had to look up to meet his gaze.“What kind of person becomes trash just to spite someone else?”“…What are you trying to say?”“Why are you self-harming?”Tae Woowon reached out, stroking Lee Yesin’s hair. The strands that had messily obstructed his view were gently pushed aside. This wasn’t what Lee Yesin had imagined. He wanted to see Tae Woowon regret sleeping with him, like some beast overwhelmed by his filthy desires. He wanted to see him conflicted, after calling him trash but then sleeping with that very trash, spiraling into guilt. But Tae Woowon was perfectly fine. Lee Yesin removed Tae Woowon’s hand from his hair.“Why do you care if I’m self-harming or killing myself?”“Did you forget? I’m your bodyguard. My job is to protect your life.”“Did you forget? You’re my handler. You’re the one reporting my life to Chairman Lee.”Hearing Lee Yesin’s bitter words, Tae Woowon laughed. Lee Yesin’s face hardened. It was a clear provocation. It was strange that he smiled at such a moment when he should have been angry.“Should I stop?”“…What?”“Should I stop reporting to Chairman Lee?”Tae Woowon reached out again, placing his hand on Lee Yesin’s face. He cupped his cheek, running his thumb over the corner of his eye. The tension in Lee Yesin’s eyes slowly faded, though he furrowed his brows.“If I tell you not to report, will you actually stop?”“Depends on how you behave.”“…What about me?”“Stay home every night, and I’ll put you to sleep every day.”Outside, the sky was bright. The spring sunlight, already tinged with summer, filtered through the curtains and settled onto the bed. Light particles clung to Tae Woowon’s dark hair, flowing slowly.“I don’t have side effects. No headaches, no memory loss, and I don’t ask for sex as payment. Though, if you say you feel itchy down there, I could help scratch it.”Tae Woowon’s eyes were unusually dark compared to others’. His irises were so black they nearly blended with his pupils, making them indistinguishable unless lit. Lee Yesin quietly stared into his deep eyes.“…What’s in it for you if I don’t go out?”“I can finally get some sleep.”“…I never told you not to sleep.”“Don’t be irresponsible. I haven’t had proper rest in weeks because of you.”Tae Woowon pulled a pillow closer and laid his head down, patting the bed beside him. The space between them made a small noise. He was calling for Lee Yesin. Promising not to report in exchange for staying home and sleeping beside him every day.Lee Yesin stared at him for a long time. He held his breath, locking eyes with Tae Woowon until the sunlight that had warmed his hair slipped behind the clouds. When the sun peeked out again, Lee Yesin slowly crawled into Tae Woowon’s arms from where he had been lying. Tae Woowon pulled him close, wrapping both Lee Yesin and the crinkling blanket in his embrace.“…I’m never having sex with you again.”“Why?”Tae Woowon asked as he gently stroked the back of Lee Yesin’s head. Lee Yesin sighed softly.“You don’t sleep with someone else when you’re in love with someone.”“I don’t have a girlfriend.”“What?”Lee Yesin lifted his face from Tae Woowon’s chest to look at him. Tae Woowon lowered his gaze.“I’m too busy chasing after you to have a girlfriend.”“…You said you had one before.”“I probably did back then.”Tae Woowon, speaking carelessly as if it were someone else’s life, pressed Lee Yesin’s head back into his chest. He slipped his fingers through Lee Yesin’s hair, gently rubbing his scalp. The lazy sensation gave Lee Yesin goosebumps on the back of his neck.“I slept a lot earlier. I can’t sleep without the medicine.”“I’ll stay with you until you fall asleep.”Lee Yesin slowly blinked. All he could see was Tae Woowon’s white shirt, the thin threads of the fabric too close to his eyes. Tae Woowon’s hand slowly moved down Lee Yesin’s back. It felt like sunlight was resting on him, though it could never truly touch him. Lee Yesin slipped his arm out from under the blanket and wrapped it around Tae Woowon’s waist. Then he closed his eyes.Just as he was about to drift off to sleep, a single blue petal fell into the dark space. Thud. Before it could touch Lee Yesin, Tae Woowon caught it. Hiding it in his fist, Tae Woowon came closer to him. Close your eyes. He whispered softly, covering Lee Yesin’s eyes with his large hand. Lee Yesin let out a thin breath and fell into a deep sleep.٠ ࣪⭑Whether Tae Woowon actually kept his promise not to report anything was unclear. He still typed on his laptop and drew lines on his tablet, working on something indiscernible. It didn’t seem related to reports, but asking directly felt awkward. Lee Yesin wanted to confirm if the reports had stopped reaching Chairman Lee’s ears, but none of the people around Chairman Lee were on his side.So, Lee Yesin simply decided to trust him. Regardless of whether it was true, Tae Woowon kept his promise to put him to sleep every day. In exchange, Lee Yesin stopped wandering around outside. His phone, discarded somewhere, was now a dead, useless chunk of metal, and Lee Yesin stayed cooped up at home, watching the days pass by. The aimless wandering that had suffocated him for weeks now seemed pointless as each peaceful day melted into the next.Perhaps because he had become more relaxed mentally, even when he woke up from sleep, there was nothing alarming in sight. Lee Yesin blinked and absentmindedly gazed at the colorful lights beyond the partition. It was the faint blue light of dawn. The quiet murmur of voices gradually grew louder, and once fully awake, Lee Yesin sat up. After a lazy yawn like a beast, he slid to the floor. He wandered over to Tae Woowon, who was sitting on the couch in front of the TV. Tae Woowon turned his head and patted the spot next to him. Lee Yesin knelt beside him, resting his arms on his knees.“Why’d you wake up?”Tae Woowon, resting an arm on the back of the couch, stroked the back of Lee Yesin’s head. His eyes naturally drooped.“Don’t know.”“Did you dream?”“No.”“Go back to sleep. You’ve only slept for four hours.”Without replying, Lee Yesin stared at the TV. On-screen, a younger version of himself was splashing around in a stream, wearing short shorts. It was his debut film.“…They still air this on TV?”“I downloaded it illegally.”Lee Yesin looked at Tae Woowon with disdain. Tae Woowon smirked.“Just kidding. I paid for it.”“…Why’d you buy this?”Splash! The younger Lee Yesin slipped on a mossy rock and fell into the water with a loud splash. The water barely reached his calves, but it looked like he was sinking fast into deeper waters. After flailing for a while, young Lee Yesin managed to pull himself out of the water. He cried out for his mother, but no one came. Left alone, he wiped his own tears and looked around. The scenery had completely changed from where he had been playing earlier.“I didn’t know it was a fantasy movie.”“Neither did I.”Tae Woowon lowered his gaze slightly. Feeling the weight of his gaze on his cheek, Lee Yesin watched his flustered self on the TV.“My sister was on TV once, and I was jealous. So I said I wanted to try it too. She used to be an actress, but she was really bad at it, so she only did one show.”“I didn’t know that.”Tae Woowon put his arm around Lee Yesin’s shoulder. The warmth of his body was palpable through the thin fabric of the T-shirt. Lee Yesin leaned into him, and Tae Woowon gently stroked his face.He was naturally physical. Just as he was unhesitant when hitting someone, once he had touched Lee Yesin, he often made contact again. The times they’d bared their teeth at each other, shouting not to cross any lines, felt like a distant memory. The time they spent together was always confusing, precarious, and unpredictable. It kept Lee Yesin’s mind in turmoil, leaving no room for other thoughts.“That’s mine.”Young Lee Yesin, having escaped the forest, entered a small log cabin near the beach. With hands scratched by branches, he pushed the door open and stepped inside, trembling from the cold. That little cottage was Lee Yesin’s. He hadn’t visited it in years, but since he hadn’t fired the caretaker, it should still be usable.“Are you busy with work?”Crash! Young Lee Yesin dropped an old flashlight. His tearful face filled the screen.“No.”Tae Woowon responded after a beat. Lee Yesin nodded.“Then let’s go there. We’ll buy some good food.”Tae Woowon cupped Lee Yesin’s cheek, bringing their faces close. Lee Yesin looked up at his expressionless face. Meeting his eyes, Tae Woowon brushed his fingers over Lee Yesin’s lips. And then, he agreed.٠ ࣪⭑They stopped by a 24-hour market to buy groceries—meat, shrimp, vegetables, and alcohol—recalling the one time Lee Yesin had gone on an MT trip during college. With the first light of dawn breaking through, they headed to the cabin in Tae Woowon’s car, not the one sent by Chairman Lee. It seemed Tae Woowon truly had no intention of reporting to him.“How many hours did you sleep?”“About the same as you. I woke up just before you.”“If you get tired, tell me. I’ll take over the driving.”At Lee Yesin’s words, Tae Woowon glanced at him briefly. After adjusting the radio to a suitable station, Lee Yesin laughed and looked up.“What? Is it because of the drunk driving thing?”The real story, shackled and buried deep, never saw the light of day, while baseless rumors spread far and wide. Judging by his silence, Tae Woowon must have heard about it from somewhere too.“I didn’t do it.”Lee Yesin said as he looked at Tae Woowon’s hands on the steering wheel. His hands were too graceful to describe as simply “ordinary.”“I slept with some random person and went to a club. But I drank too much. When I woke up, I was in the car.”That day, Lee Yesin was jolted awake by a sudden impact. A car had crashed into a utility pole, creating a loud noise. Before he could grasp the situation, the man behind the wheel grabbed him, pulled him into the driver’s seat, buckled him in, and injected him with something. He lost consciousness, and when he woke again, a camera’s flash was in his face.It might have been a prank or a setup, but Lee Yesin didn’t care. He just accepted it. People might dislike him. Some might want to make him miserable. Reacting to every single incident was too exhausting.“You should have told them it wasn’t true.”As Tae Woowon gently turned the wheel, he spoke to the now-silent Lee Yesin. Lee Yesin smiled slightly, squinting his eyes.“No one would have listened anyway.”“I would have.”“…You weren’t there.”Tae Woowon chuckled softly, running his fingers through his hair. A pleasant scent accompanied his every movement.“Were you lonely?”“……”At a loss for words, Lee Yesin furrowed his brow, staring out at the long stretch of highway ahead. He rolled down the window slightly. The wind rushing past the backseat made a lot of noise but little impact.On the way, they stopped once at a rest area. Tae Woowon ordered udon for the two of them and, sitting across from each other, they quickly polished off enough food for three. After a stop at the restroom, they smoked cigarettes in the designated booth. Even though it was a weekday morning, there were quite a few people around. Was it vacation time? No, not yet. Lee Yesin counted the days as he tapped the ash off his cigarette. Blowing smoke absentmindedly, he noticed Tae Woowon taking out his phone.“What is it?”He asked without even a greeting, getting straight to the point as if speaking to someone close.“Send me the profile.”Lee Yesin raised his head toward Tae Woowon. Noticing the look, Tae Woowon caught his eye and mouthed, Why? Lee Yesin shook his head.“It’s almost done. Just need to buy some equipment.”Tae Woowon stubbed out his cigarette and shifted his phone to the other hand. He then reached out and touched Lee Yesin’s neck.“Don’t worry about it. Just focus on what you need to do. I’m hanging up.”After ending the call, he took a step closer to Lee Yesin, lowering his head to look closely at his neck.“Did you pick at the scab?”Tae Woowon’s rough handling had left Lee Yesin’s body covered in scabs, with the neck being the worst. The wound on his neck had torn, so it took longer to heal than the others. Recently, it had begun itching, a sign that it was healing. Absentmindedly, Lee Yesin had scratched at it a few times, and it seemed his fingernails had ripped the scab off without him realizing it.“It itched, so I scratched it.”Lee Yesin raised his hand to touch his now-smooth neck, intertwining his fingers with Tae Woowon’s, which were still resting there. He brushed Tae Woowon’s hand aside and stubbed out his cigarette.“Does it look bad?”Whether it left a scar or was flush with color, Lee Yesin didn’t care, but when Tae Woowon kept looking at him seriously, he frowned and asked. Was something strange? Tae Woowon quickly shook his head.“I’m just a bit disappointed.”With a light tap, Tae Woowon brushed Lee Yesin’s cheek with the back of his hand and stepped out ahead toward the smoking booth. What’s up with that? Does he like to pick at things? But why is he suddenly slapping my cheek? Lee Yesin rubbed his cheek and followed behind him.The villa hadn’t changed much from his previous memories. It was originally built for filming, so the exterior and interior decor were excellent. After seeing the draft of the blueprints, Lee Yesin’s mother had said it was too good to be used just once and offered to fund its construction for future use, gifting it to Lee Yesin. It was a place filled with memories, although he wasn’t sure if it was appropriate to call it that.Lee Yesin and Tae Woowon unpacked their bags and filled the refrigerator. Then they took a bottle of wine and some blueberries and headed to the beach. It was early June. The sun was warm, but the breeze was cool, and there weren’t many people on the beach. They chose a spot where only the ocean was in view and laid out a large blanket. The mat must be somewhere in the villa, but they couldn’t find it. Tae Woowon convinced Lee Yesin to call the caretaker in the afternoon, pulling him away before he could tear the storage shed apart.Lee Yesin hadn’t been living a busy life, but he had always lived without much leisure. So, the ocean felt like a long-awaited escape. In contrast, Tae Woowon seemed accustomed to it. He sat comfortably, sipping wine without much contemplation. Lee Yesin glanced at Tae Woowon’s profile and fiddled with the golden sand near his feet. The sound of crashing waves, the warm sunlight, and the sweet wine blended together perfectly. Lee Yesin let the sand he had been holding slip through his fingers. Hearing the cheerful laughter of women taking photos nearby, he rested his chin on his knees and watched the splashing waves. Taking a sip of wine, he reached for the blueberries he had brought. Tae Woowon swatted Lee Yesin’s hand away and popped a blueberry into his mouth.“Your hands are dirty.”As if touching a bit of sand made them dirty. However, despite having only been pointed out, and with no one blaming him, Lee Yesin felt self-conscious and hid his hands.“Want more?”Tae Woowon, having emptied his wine glass, asked. Lee Yesin shook his head. Tae Woowon popped a blueberry into his own mouth, then pushed the wine glass and the book they had brought back behind him. Ignoring his strange behavior, Lee Yesin simply watched the distant, undulating sea. Then, Tae Woowon grabbed Lee Yesin’s legs and stretched them out.“What are you doing?”“Sleeping.”“…Here?”“Yeah.”Tae Woowon lay down, resting his head on Lee Yesin’s legs. Lee Yesin looked down at him with a bewildered expression. Tae Woowon closed his eyes with an indifferent look. Thinking about it, it made sense. He had gotten up at dawn and driven for nearly three hours. Lee Yesin quietly watched him with his eyes closed before reaching for the wine glass.“Feed me?”Misinterpreting Lee Yesin’s gesture, Tae Woowon slowly opened his eyes and asked. Lee Yesin rolled his eyes and shook his head.“I’m not eating. Sleep.”As soon as he finished speaking, Tae Woowon obediently closed his eyes. As he brushed his high nose, he awkwardly placed Lee Yesin’s hand over his own eyes. Lee Yesin tensed his arm, trying to remove his hand from Tae Woowon’s face. With a furrowed brow, Tae Woowon opened his eyes.“…You said it was dirty.”Tae Woowon looked up at Lee Yesin with a bewildered expression as he spoke softly.“What’s dirty is going into your mouth. Do you want to eat seagull poop?”“…You really have to say that?”Lee Yesin grumbled and slapped his hand down to cover Tae Woowon’s eyes. Even though he had been hit, Tae Woowon’s nicely shaped lips, which remained uncovered, curved into a smile. Under the sun, the waves gently splashed. The scattered droplets leaped in all directions, leaving traces on the swaying sea. What should this be called? Lee Yesin couldn’t find the right words to describe the moment.