PokéLove

I wander down a path bordering the river and the forest. Wander actually being kind of a strong word here. It’s more of an unplanned detour as I glanced at the map this morning.

 

After quite the uneventful battle between the trainers, I had bid the team adieu yesterday and promptly returned to my room with Hazel in tow. Noibat, finished with her lesson for that day, let me get back on my laptop, so I could continue fixing the Octillery Arms. They’re not fully repaired yet; I think one more day should do it, but they’re at least capable of supporting their own weight for right now.

 

So, wandering down the bank. Hazel is, begrudgingly, rolling with me to my right, and Cecilia is buzzing along to my left. Why they’re out? Well…

 

“PULL!” I command. With mechanical practice, Hazel launches a Pin Missile straight up, letting it hold pressure as its launch dies in air. Then, right before it begins dropping, Cecilia uses Gust, and knocks the lone pin towards the building in the distance.

 

The Battle Chateau: a distinguished place for the rich and well-known trainers. I have some plans which could be simplified if I had a title at the chateau, but there’s some slight problems. Like…recommendation. You need someone to sponsor you to join the chateau.

 

…When I beat Grant, I’m going to force him to sponsor me…somehow. I don’t know; I haven’t gotten that far with my notes yet.

 

However, if I can’t join them, I can be a public nuisance. The Cecilia/Hazel combination is great training. Such as preserving the pressure and power of Pin Missiles by using a secondary attack to launch them, but it’s like ground-to air defense and air-to-air defense. It’s used because it works.

 

Plus, exploding plants over the Battle Chateau is just a bonus. Not planned one bit. Definitely not fueled by grudges.

 

Definitely didn’t order Hazel to try and put metal shavings in the pins.

 

Anyway, at most they could call the police on me, but that won’t happen. Ever. They would like to save face and would send out a trainer to deal with me. I would say, ‘Oh sorry.’ Something along those lines; they would warn me not to do it again, and I get off free.

 

It’s a simple plan with high risk, low reward. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

The only thing I am weary of is that damned Malamar. Also, the fact that Grant’s known pokémon are essentially super effective against my entire team. Why did I get so many Flying and/or Dragon type pokémon?!

 

Hohh. Okay. Not the time for a panic attack. Just can it and throw it into the sea like with all your other anxieties.

 

Umm. Pokédex entries! Sometimes unreliable, but they can be a good point to start. Grant uses a Tyrunt which…has a powerful jaw that can crush a car in half. Also, they lived about 100 million years ago. Heh, I hope that’s right. My memory has barely failed me yet!

 

So. Uh, none of my pokémon are a car, so I have that going for me. Unfortunately, my pokémon are weaker than a car by a large margin. Hmm. Otherwise, the only other thing I have is that the climate was really humid, hot, and jungle-like 100 million years ago. We’re in a mountain’s peak, so that’s about as far as you can get with circumstances.

 

They are warm blooded, which means I can’t just use Amaura’s attacks to freeze the place like I did with Viola.

 

Guess I’ll do it the old-fashioned way. Tyrunt is weak to Steel and Dragon, but effective against Flying. Hazel and Robin can be the main attackers, and the to-be-named Noibat can be emergency.

 

Great, now Amaura. Also 100 million years but cold. Natural predator is Tyrantrum—the evolved form of Tyrunt…

 

Could I force Tyrunt to evolve, confuse it, and find a way to force Amaura out? Nah. Well, not right now. Too many variables I would need to control, and that’s a lot of work I don’t want to do.

 

Ugh. Fine, Grass and Steel types are effective here. So, if he sends out Amaura first, then I’ll send out Hazel. Then Robin will probably be responsible for Tyrunt.

 

Arceus, you can’t just coast through life on the easy path, huh?! You have to actually make me follow the rules! Can’t abuse any loopholes here!

 

…Makes sense why Grant is getting his title of nobility or whatever…

 

…I can get nobility, too…

 

…I could probably make a guillotine… It would be easier.

 

And, because why not, I’m even out of range of the Battle Maison! No more being a public nuisance! Damn it! Augh. Today’s just getting worse and worse.

 

I could get struck by a meteorite right now, and I wouldn’t even be any special stone for like Z-moves or anything! It would be plain old iron and ice!

 

It would still make some sick jewelry though…if I survived being struck by a meteor.

 

…

 

…

 

Well? I’m waiting!

 

Grumbling some…colorful language to myself and Arceus, I kick a stone along the path by the riverbed to distract me from thoughts of deicide. Never been one for sports if I’m being honest. Can’t even kick a damned rock straight!

 

I sweep my leg, sending the rock flying into the woods.

 

*thump…* I pause. That…wasn’t the sound of a rock hitting a tree, or a dead tree, or a hollow tree, or a bush, or a rock, or water, or…another pokémon. Okay, it might be that last one, but this sound. That is the sound of a full egg!

 

I know it’s weird to be able to identify eggs by sound, but my memory picks up the weirdest things. Like when Professor Sycamore got a shipment of pokémon eggs and did tests on them; one of which being a tapping test with his stethoscope. I have no worldly idea what that test was meant for, but I know the sound!

 

I jump into the bramble. An honest mistake, really, since the bush is covered in fucking thorns.

 

Haha. I get it now. Little bit of carrot, lots of stick. Hardee hardee har.

 

I’m laughing so hard.

 

It’s killer.

 

It might even end with a punctured lung.

 

Now wouldn’t that be unfortunate.

 

Anyway, I have a pokémon egg. I don’t know what type of pokémon is in it, nor do I know how long it will take to hatch. However, I do have a Noibat who might be able to do an ultrasound on this thing.

 

This egg. Of a pokémon. Which I like to name. And I haven’t named my other recently acquired pokémon. Also, I have so many more pokémon than a trainer should have. Which means more training taking time out of the day…

 

Damn it.