Plotkuna Kaisen in Marvel and DC

*SHWANG*

The sharp crack of concrete against flesh reverberated through the alley as Sukuna SMASHED a broken cinderblock into a thug's face, coating the wall with blood, "I almost--"

Sukuna barely had time to process the moment before he heard a small step behind him. He twisted sharply, snapping up his arms to block the punch aimed at his head. His forearms recoiled as they absorbed the impact, and like a coiled spring, he lunged forward, driving his forehead into the thug's nose with a sickening *CRACK*

Now, with the thug staggered in pain, he went to finish the job with a clean hit to the diaphragm, "--lost the no-hit challenge." He exhaled sharply, shaking his hand as he muttered under his breath.

The system chimed in with a nerdy accent, "Actually, you lost the challenge, as parrying an attack still counts as a hit."

Sukuna walked over to the next groaning thug, "Yeah, thanks for ruining that." He crouched down, gripping the thug's collar before slamming a fist into his face, "This whole thing could've been easier if someone didn't ask for fifty thugs."

The system merely replied, "I'm only 50% responsible for how missions are created."

"Now I just need to save someone..." He began to feel how the adrenaline left his body; not only the ache his limbs slowly invaded him, but the sweat in his forehead also made him taste the salty tang stinging his eyes as it mingled with the dirt and blood smeared across his face.

"I saw a hotel near here; I hope they don't mind a guy covered in blood." His eyes focused on the bodies, recalling the near-death encounter, "Five thugs with guns appears to be my limit."

Seconds ago, he was surrounded by five thugs who weren't your average Joe anymore, with no escape route, and each one of them aiming a gun directly at him. His mind acted by itself and made him yell, "LOOK! THE FLASH!"

...

...

...

Only after saying that he realized how dumb it was, 'FUCK' the thugs didn't know who The Flash was-- heck, this universe didn't have one-- but somehow, two of them turned to look anyway.

With a sharp flick of his fingers, he used all his cursed energy and slashed at the triggers of the pistols. The cuts weren't perfect, and with the pressure of the moment, he stuttered, but it worked.

Well... Almost worked.

*BANG!*

A loud and disorienting noise rang out in the confined space. One of them actually managed to hit the trigger.

Sukuna stopped recalling what just happened with his posture changing from a tired one to a praying one, "I don't know what deity helped me, but I will be a willful follower of your fate." A visceral mess would be in the wall if the shot had just been a few centimeters to the left right now.

The system interrupted his musings, "Would you like to use your three gacha spins?"

Sukuna's eyes flicked upward toward the red hologram in the air. He had been saving them, not wanting to rely on his luck to clutch because, eventually, luck would run out. He has this hunch-- No, he is sure that this shitty system isn't gonna lay a golden throne at his feet nor tenderly guide his every move. No... Of course, that's not! he has to fend for himself in this world.

But now… he was battered; his reserves of cursed energy were almost dry, "Hey, system, was my imagination, or were they getting more competent?" He suddenly laughed with a mix of insanity and pity, "Rhetoric question, don't answer..." His laugh continued, "I need to get an ally because talking to you is draining my sanity."

"But I didn't even reply-"

The slot machine began spinning and spinning, with dozens of names in different colors and letters flashing before his eyes. "Come on..." His fingers began twitching with anticipation, and his breath hitched as the symbols clicked into place, almost forgetting about the exhaustion.

)!#/#/#&#&!"#!(#&#!/!

DING DING! You unlocked Divine Dogs.

Sukuna's face changed from mild happiness to annoyance, "That's good... but... don't tell me I have to unlock all the abilities this way and can't just train them on my own?"

"No."

A wave of relief washed over him, "For a second there, I thought-"

"You only gain the right to use the ability. If you unlock the same move again, it increases your mastery."

"HELL NAH!" he shouted, throwing his arms into the air like Megumi, "I'm gonna be crippled-"

DING! DING! "Cleave unlocked"

DING! DING! "Cleave enhanced."

The second the system stopped spinning, a small pressure drilled into his skull; this felt exactly like when you wake up abruptly out of bed, nothing serious but neither something you could ignore. "I think you made a mistake here. I have the same skill... just with a different name."

"No, I didn't."

Sukuna's hand fingers curled into the usual form, "Dismantle. Cleave." Jagged slash marks appeared in two close locations, cutting a few centimeters into the surface. His eyes narrowed as he inspected the marks, "If this wall was meat, it'd be a paper-thin cut difference. So you better tell me why they are almost the same."

"Cleave targets entities with cursed energy. It adjusts its power based on the user's energy levels. Dismantle focuses on inanimate objects but offers broader versatility."

As he understood those concepts, new questions crawled in, "But no one else here has cursed energy. Doesn't that make half of my moves pointless?"

"That's why your skillset has been reworked. Cleave now has a bonus against living or animated objects, while Dismantle excels against non-living or inanimate targets."

His gaze darkened after hearing this. Having your abilities changed isn't a good thing. The advantage he has is knowledge about Sukuna and Megumi. If that is taken away... "How much of my kit is changed?"

"It was easier to change you, so you fit better than changing the world, so it fits you. Here is an example that I am allowed to say: Mahoraga can now adapt to any effect, even those unrelated to cursed energy. It can adapt to multiple effects, but the more it does, the longer the adaptation takes. After each successful adaptation, it will be vulnerable for a few seconds, and this window increases with successive adaptations."

"Can Mahoraga adapt to the Infinity Stones?"

"If it manages to survive the first impact and you somehow can protect it during its vulnerability, then yes."

His grin widened, "Alright, I'll take it. That's a solid upgrade."

The system continued, "Another side effect is that cursed energy phenomena can be seen by everyone else."

*Prowler theme* "WHAT... DID... YOU... JUST... SAID..."

The system repeated, "Another side effect is that cursed energy phenomena can-"

...

Sukuna's mind ached with the implications of such a statement, "So you are saying if someone sees me in a camera," a certain corrupt organization of marvel that is a total hassle came to his mind, "They will see the aura of cursed energy..."

"Yes."

He took a deep breath and sighed, "Why should I even bother getting angry?" Not only did this kill his dream of being an untraceable assassin who killed by moving his hands and had unknown powers, but it also placed a big red target, saying, "HEY, I HAVE AN UNTAPPED ENERGY SOURCE WITH GREAT POTENTIAL THAT NO ONE HAS SEEN BEFORE!"

After learning that information, Sukuna decided to calm down and, for the first time, chose to wander the streets during the day. Since he came here, he had been in hallways, not bothering to explore the outside world. He already knew where he was at, Marvel, but even so, he was only human, so he had basic needs: a place to rest, a place to eat, and a place to have fun.

A rancid odor interrupted his thoughts. He sniffed the air, then himself, grimacing, "I need to take a real shower immediately with a change of clothes."

Spotting a gym nearby, he pushed open the glass door. A young woman sat behind the counter, with her gaze glued to her cellphone, snickering softly at a video. Without even glancing up, she deadpanned, "Forty bucks."

Sukuna fished a few crumpled dollars from his pocket, silently thanking the thugs who'd so graciously "donated" earlier. "Where-" The girl stopped watching the video for a second and pointed lazily to the right. "The showers are over there."

Thanks!" But his mind was busier elsewhere, "Right, we were in 2010, or something like that, which means Nyan cat and Bronies everywhere; wait, do we have 4chan in this universe? THAT MEANS... Gangnam style? And angry birds?" His smile widened; it was a smile of pure nostalgia. 'I really need to grab a computer and check a lot of stuff.'

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Authors note:

This is the last chapter this week!

I did this fic as a joke, and I need to think a few things so it doesn't implode after the 20th chapter.

I have the first three important enemies, but... That's it.

So, uh... don't expect a chapter until next week?

(if you come from my other fic, then you should know HOW LAZY I AM at updating.)

Oh, and why did I 'skip' the thug fight?

Well, because these goons are really not that interesting. Like if I gave you a weapon and told you to do something, like yeah, you are dangerous, but against someone who knows what they are doing...

I think you get the point.