Pathless: Outcast

Cirrugur, 16th of Brightforge, year 305 UC

Emilia led the way into her private study.

Edward followed close behind, closing the door with a soft click.

Leaning against her desk, Emilia crossed her arms and let out a deep sigh. Her usual composure faltered.

Edward's brow furrowed.

He could tell something was wrong.

She wouldn’t have asked to meet him here, so late at night, unless something was really bothering her.

"What's on your mind?"

She shook her head.

"I'm not cut out for this, Edward. I knew it before, but seeing his reaction... it's another story entirely.”

"You mean what happened with Bryan?"

Emilia nodded.

"Exactly. I'm not good with children. I never have been, and I won't be. It's just not in me."

She was sharing with him, not news but emotion. He wasn’t expecting that.

He barely stopped his lips from curving into a smile as this was progress on her part.

Something changed with her, and he had an idea of what it was.

"It's a skill that takes time and effort to learn. You can't expect much when he's barely been here."

"I know, but still..."

She trailed off, her hand unconsciously clenching into a fist as she recalled the moment.

The pain in her chest had been unexpected, a sharp ache that caught her off guard. It was a feeling she wasn't accustomed to, one that left her unsettled and questioning her own capabilities.

Emilia let out a dry laugh, her eyes fixed on a point in the distance.

"I was raised to be a mage, Edward, not a caretaker. I can't be his mother. That's what he needs, and I'm... not that."

"You don't have to be his mother. But a promise made is-"

She cut him off with a wave of her hand.

"I know, I know. You say it often enough."

"Because it's true, and you did promise Rashaka, did you not?"

Emilia sighed, her shoulders sagging slightly. Sadly, that was the case, but if she knew what it entailed, she wouldn't have done it.

"I did. I just... I didn't realize what I was getting myself into at the time."

She leaned forward suddenly, an idea suddenly coming to mind.

"Why can't you just take care of him? Bryan seems fond enough of you."

‘No, you’re not getting off that easy.’

Edward shook his head slowly.

"If that's what you wish, I can. But I shouldn't."

"Why not?"

The two of them spent enough time together, and Edward was great with children.

He even helped raise her, and truthfully speaking he was like a father. More so than the actual father she had.

"Bryan is talented, and I fear my greed might corrupt him."

Edward admitted.

Even now, he couldn’t help but recall the lessons he had with Bryan.

Watching over Emilia, and seeing the growth of her siblings, alongside the other members of her family, Edward knew how talented a potential mage could be.

Rashaka was a once-in-a-lifetime genius when it came to manipulating ether, but Bryan could outclass her. He felt it, and in time the entire world would as well.

"But that's not the main reason. There's something going on with Bryan, something I just noticed today."

Emilia raised an eyebrow.

"Is this about his behavior?"

Edward nodded glad that she managed to catch that as well.

"I'm not sure what happened or why you brought him here, but even without knowing, I can tell it was bad. For a child so young to distrust, to fear... something terrible must have been done to him.”

Emilia took a deep breath, her eyes meeting Edward's. She never did explain anything to him about that day, but today is as good a day as any.

"Where should I begin?"

She shook her head, a rueful smile playing on her lips.

"No, the story's too long. Maybe another night."

She couldn’t do it again, not after all that she told Lucas.

Once was enough, but twice in one day?

Even with all the bits she left out, it was still too much.

She’d have to drink herself to sleep after this.

"The short version. Bryan was bullied often at the orphanage. They considered him a cursed child, a demon even."

"That could have done it, but... there has to be more to the story."

He could picture that.

The boy had a unique look, one that he hadn’t seen before.

But knowing Emilia, there was more to the story. There always was.

Emilia looked away.

"I left him in the care of Ms. Kelly, a caretaker at the orphanage. She was really good with Bryan. I even met her on occasion."

‘So, that’s who you’ve been visiting when you said you were out meeting a friend.’

"Is that where you've been going when you mentioned heading out?"

Emilia nodded once, her gaze still averted.

"It's my fault all of this happened."

She said.

A day sooner, an hour before, and none of this would have happened. She was used to people suffering, dying even. But this was different.

Edward shook his head.

"That's surely not the case."

She waved off his comment.

"It is, Edward. You're merely saying that because you don't know."

Emilia's grip tightened on her forearms as she shivered slightly.

"I fear my father's shadow looms over me, and in trying to protect Bryan, I might become the very monster I despise."

"You aren't your father, Emilia. And you won't ever be.”

Emilia's eyes flashed with sudden anger. She whirled to face Edward, her voice rising to a shout.

"You don't know that!"

Her gaze held his for what felt like an eternity, before she leaned her head back, staring at the ceiling. The fight seemed to drain from her as quickly as it had come.

"I knew."

She said.

"I knew what Bryan was going through at the orphanage, but I didn't stop it."

"Bryan only wanted to make friends, but those 'friends' he made hurt him every time they played together. If you could even call it playing."

Her voice started to crack a little.

"And the worst part was that Bryan accepted that, because it was the only way he could have people talk to him, to be around him. Yet, knowing all of this, I didn't do anything."

Edward opened his mouth to speak, but closed it, sensing she needed to continue.

He could already picture the scene, Bryan seeking friendship but being denied.

Often times people feared what they had no knowledge of, or lacked control of.

Children were no exception to this.

But this wasn’t her fault.

Even if she had taken him away, the same thing would have still happened.

He wouldn’t tell her that, but she had to know it on some level.

"Power has a way of corrupting the soul."

Emilia murmured, flicking her hand. A flame ignited above her palm, dancing in the air.

"And I can't help but wonder if it's already too late for me. I couldn't even protect one child."

Her eyes met Edward's.

"If that isn't like my father, then what do you call it?"

‘Being human.’

That’s all she was guilty of.

Was just being human.

She always sought him out for advice on tough subjects, but it wasn’t easy. Being this ‘perfect’ figure in her eyes.

He had his flaws too, and he’d never be perfect.

Because he was only human.

"We're all running from our demons. But eventually, we'll have to stop running and face them."

He didn't tell her it wasn't her fault; he knew it wouldn't help.

Instead, he opted for a different approach.

"If you don't want to be like your father, if you want to make up for what you've done, then you should start with Bryan."

Emilia slammed her fist against the desk, her voice rising.

"What do you think I've been doing?"

‘Good. Get angry.’

Edward thought as Emilia always showed her true self when she was angry.

"What you've always done."

Edward replied calmly.

"Run from the problem."

Emilia's eyes widened in disbelief.

"You dare-"

Edward shrugged, unfazed by her anger.

"We both know you wanted me to say this, or else you wouldn't be acting the way you are now.”

Emilia's shoulders sagged as she let out a heavy sigh.

"You're right, as usual."

She ran a hand through her black hair.

"How can I be the person I need to be for Bryan?"

It wasn't often that she asked for help, and her doing so now spoke volumes about her personal growth. He pondered for a moment before responding.

"Bryan needs you, just as much as you need him."

Edward told her.

He would give her the one thing she needed more than anything else.

And, in turn, she would give him what he needed.

She just had to see that.

"You could start by opening up a bit more, try to be more approachable."

Emilia scoffed, her eyes narrowing.

"Are you saying I'm not approachable?"

Edward remained silent. They both knew there were only a few people that would approach her.

"Do you remember what you did the day you returned with Bryan?"

Edward asked, changing the subject.

Emilia furrowed her brow, thinking back.

"You tossed him to me like a rag doll."

Edward answered for her.

Rolling her eyes, Emilia retorted.

"You caught him, didn't you?"

"That's not the point, if you want to be closer to the boy, treat him like a person. Better yet, treat him like a child."

‘Because that’s all he is.’

It was easy to forget that. To get swept up in the motions, but they had to remember, Bryan was only a child.

He was awakened, sure.

But before that, he was a child, first and foremost.

"I'd love to do that, but he wants to be a mage. Who am I to trample on his dreams?"

"Going against what a child wants because you know what's best for them is hard at times, but it has to be done. What would be the point of him having all this talent if it'll merely corrupt him in the future? Bryan needs to learn, yes, but he also has to heal from the events that brought him here."

Bryan's scars were emotional, and those were harder to heal than any physical wound.

They couldn’t simply move past them without addressing the underlying pain. Emilia needed to understand that.

"I'm stuck, Edward. He has to be strong to survive, especially if the Inquisition finds out what he's done. But he also has to be a child, one that has to be raised in secret. How can I accomplish such a task without pushing him away?"

Edward's expression was sympathetic. It was a question he was unsure of himself. After all, he still never had a connection to his own son.

"I can't give you the answer to that, Emilia. But you can start by telling him the truth.”

Her eyes widened in disbelief.

"Are you insane? You want me to tell Bryan about Rashaka?"

If he wasn't broken already, then that would surely break him.

It was a secret she was willing to take to her grave. He'd have more questions than answers, and Emilia wouldn't know how to give them to him.

Edward shook his head.

"That's up to you, but it's not what I was referring to."

"Wait, is that really true? Rashaka is his mother?"

She inferred that before, but never directly stated it to him. Being under her mother for so long, he knew a lot about their family.

Rashaka's fall was a moment that shocked them all. For the patriarch to disown her like that, despite the achievements she accomplished… no one saw it coming.

"Yes, he is her child."

Emilia confirmed it for him.

Edward let out a low whistle.

"Well, I can't wait to hear that tale. But that's for another day."

He steered the conversation back on track.

"What I meant was, you should tell Bryan what you just told me. Maybe even a bit about your own past."

Emilia recoiled at the suggestion.

That was the worst idea Edward had ever given her.

"I can't do that. He'd despise me."

"You can't be sure of that."

Edward countered.

His gaze drifted to the wall.

"From what you've told me, Bryan is an outcast. We all are, in our own ways. He might recognize that, if not now, then in time."

A wry smile played on Edward's lips.

"If you think about it, this has to be fate at work."

Emilia's laughter was dry.

"Fate wouldn't be so cruel as to make a child suffer like that."

‘You’d be surprised what fate can do.’

Edward thought for a second.

"What are your plans for the boy now that we know his magical attribute?"

"I need to think on it, but nothing should change. He'll learn the basics to build a strong foundation, then focus on physical combat. I don’t want him using spells or learning magic right now."

She told him.

“Maybe in a few years, he can learn techniques to work on his magic. But for now, I don’t think it’s good for him.”

He was glad she was thinking this through and wasn’t rushing into it.

That was something that made her different from her father.

He’d have isolated Bryan in a mountain somewhere and fed him a bunch of nonsense. Just to see how much of a monster he’d be once he finally left that mountain.

That’s just who he was, and Edward couldn’t fault him for it.

It was just a good thing that Emilia wasn’t as corrupt as she thought she was.

"If that's the case, we should be careful. Unless you want him unlocking more spells prematurely."

Emilia waved off his concern.

"We'll be careful. But remember, it took me months to unlock my second spell and years for my third. Bryan might be talented, but he's young. It'll take him a while to unlock any spells, even if my father were training him personally."

"That may be true, but imagine a fifteen-year-old with multiple spells at the age when most are just awakening their abilities.”

Emilia shook her head.

"That would be difficult no matter what, Edward, considering the age at which he awakened. Even if he was untalented, by the time he was of age, he'd have one or two spells unlocked anyway. There's nothing we can do about it."

They both knew this truth, and there was no way to stop it.

Even if they halted his training, Bryan would still unlock some kind of spell. The only thing they could do was not train him at all.

"Mages that weren't trained didn't know the methods to unlock more spells. Some of them got lucky, but most never gained more than the basic spell they awakened with, or one new spell they unlocked ten or twenty years down the line."

Edward nodded in agreement.

Having proper training methods was key to raising a mage.

A true mage at least.

Those without proper training or knowledge would forever be stuck at the bottom.

"You did right by Bryan, not pushing him to learn magic at the moment. Because he'd have to relive his awakening over and over in order to do so, and if the experience was that bad, then..."

He gazed at Emilia, his voice trailing off.

"What do you think would happen to his mind?"

Emilia's lips curved into a wry smile.

"Tell that to Lucas. He's never one to stop progress once he starts."

They both knew this all too well. Lucas stopped at nothing to prove his methods right, doing whatever it took to achieve the slightest result.

Emilia chuckled, recalling a particularly memorable incident.

"Remember that time Lucas made a bomb out of a magic core? Capable of destroying everything within two miles? The entire city wanted to toss him out."

It was difficult to forget, considering the man was always up to something. Even now, people asked him to make sure nothing like that happens again.

Not that there was anything he could do to stop the madman, Lucas was being true to himself. Which meant he was being a menace to everyone else.

Which was fine by Edward. As long as it wasn’t him, Lucas could do whatever he wanted.

"Emilia, do you trust Lucas around Bryan?"

Emilia's laughter faded.

"I have a hard time trusting anyone, Edward. But if Lucas does anything that'll harm Bryan..."

She paused, clenching her fist.

"I'll kill him.”

"That's good to hear. Especially considering you once said you wanted to push Bryan until he broke, or came close to it. If we leave that to Lucas... well, that might truly be the case."

Emilia's eyes widened, a flicker of shame crossing her face.

She looked away.

"I... I did say that, didn't I? But I wasn't thinking straight then. Those words, that mindset... it's more in line with what my father would say."

The man who’d do anything for power and influence. The one who drove her to despair.

Everyone loved him, but now that she thought back on it.

Was he even worth her love?

She shook her head, her black hair swaying with the motion.

"That's not who I want to be, Edward. Not anymore."

He felt bad for Emilia, she was long out of her father's grasp, yet he still managed to influence her. Would there ever come a time when she'd realize she no longer had to seek his approval?

"As long as you remain true to your goal and yourself, that's all that matters. The path ahead won't be easy, but your intentions are what count."

As he spoke, Edward's mind wandered.

He knew all too well how easy it was to lose oneself along your original path.

The road to hell, after all, was paved with good intentions.

There were no safeguards, no fail-safe mechanisms to stop one from going too far down that treacherous road. It was a constant struggle, a battle against one's own nature and the circumstances that shaped them.

Glancing at Emilia, he saw not just the woman she was now, but the child she had been, the mage she had become, and the guardian she was striving to be.

"Enough of this."

She said as she stretched.

"Too many emotions for one day. It's not good for me."

"If that is what you wish."

Edward replied, bowing slightly.

He turned to leave, his footsteps echoing in the quiet study.

As Edward reached the door, Emilia's voice stopped him.

"Thanks."

She said, the word hanging in the air between them.

Edward smiled, though he didn't turn around.

"Anytime."

The door closed behind him with a soft click, leaving Emilia alone with her thoughts.

Left in solitude, Emilia made her way to her seat.

The walk was short, as she had already been leaning against the desk. She sank into the chair with a heavy sigh, her body slumping.

Her head fell back, auburn hair cascading over the chair's backrest. Emilia's eyes fixed on the ceiling, unseeing, as her mind whirled with the day's events and revelations.

"I pray I can be what you see in me."

She whispered to the empty room.

Her eyes fluttered closed, shutting out the world as she allowed herself a moment of in the privacy of her study.

*********

Bryan wandered through the estate's hallways, his small form dwarfed by the surroundings.

He tried to sleep, but he couldn’t.

Every time he closed his eyes, he saw her.

She died over and over, nonstop. It just never stopped.

He wanted it to stop but didn’t know how.

Walking might help, or so he hoped.

His eyes darted from one ornate decoration to another, taking in the lavish paintings and weapons adorning the walls.

They were nice, pretty even.

But, his eyes settled on a cane that hung on the wall.

Suddenly, images of Ms. Kelly's death flash before his eyes.

The nobleman's cruel face, the guards' weapons, and the pool of blood beneath her lifeless body. His breath caught in his throat as his chest tightened with each painful memory.

"I'm sorry, Ms. Kelly."

He whispered as his voice shook.

"I'm so sorry."

The words became a mantra, repeated over and over as he stumbled down the corridor.

There was no one out here in the halls this late at night.

He was all alone.

‘It’s all my fault.’

‘Everything’s my fault.’

He couldn’t help but think.

Ms. Bertha always said he was a cursed child. That those around him would end up suffering.

She never told him directly, but he heard her talking to the other caretakers at the orphanage.

And, she was right.

‘Should I stay here?’

He asked himself.

Could he put Emilia and the others in danger?

Did they think of him as a cursed child or a demon? Was he a monster?

His legs gave way, and he slid down the wall, curling into himself.

Tears streamed down his pale cheeks, and he frantically wiped them away.

"No crying."

He mumbled.

"They will hate me if I cry."

Dave and the other children disliked it when he cried.

Calling him a crybaby.

He wasn’t a baby.

All the names and teasing.

He remembered it all.

If he cried, they only teased him more, hit him more.

It's why he held back his tears no matter what happened.

He had to show them he was able to take their jokes and teases.

He had to take whatever he could for them to accept him.

They would have, eventually.

It was just that he messed up somewhere.

‘It’s all my fault.’

They laughed at him, played him for a fool.

It was all his fault, he shouldn't have run.

He should have stayed, stuck to Dave.

Hugging his knees to his chest, his white hair fell over his face.

"Why did I say I wanted to be a mage?"

"Everyone said it was so great, but they never told me about the pain."

Trying to suppress his sobs, his body shook.

"I can't be a mage. I just can't. I can't watch Ms. Kelly die again."

"But... I don't want to disappoint Emilia."

‘I don't want to be alone.’

He thought.

Laughter echoed from nearby, causing him to look up in surprise.

‘What was that?’

There was a door slightly ajar, just to his left.

“Is someone there?”

No one replied, just more laughter.

He hesitated for a moment as he looked around the empty hallway.

Who was laughing?

Was it… a ghost?

Fear gripped him, causing him to be deathly silent.

Yet, the more he heard the more curious he got.

‘Is it really a ghost?’

He should have been afraid of ghosts, but he wasn’t.

They were like him, stuck between both realms and accepted by neither.

Because of that, he could understand that they were lonely. So, maybe if he talked to them, neither of them would be alone anymore.

Slowly he uncurled himself, inching towards the door.

His small hand trembled as he pushed the door open a fraction wider, peering into the room.

Inside, Lucas paced back and forth, his hair even more disheveled than usual.

"Think, think, think harder."

Lucas muttered to himself as his fingers tapped against his temples.

Suddenly, Lucas snapped his head toward the door.

His blue eyes lock onto Bryan, and a smile spread across his face.

It didn’t feel warm, but instead sent a chill down Bryan's spine. Quickly he backed away, his heart racing.

‘Crazy.’

Bryan thought.

"He's completely crazy."

Despite his fear, he couldn’t help but look once more.

There was something about the crazy man that made Bryan feel sad.

But why?

Leaning forward once more he peeked through the crack in the door.

A fluttering of wings drew Lucas's attention upward.

A black bird with startling purple eyes descended from an open window high above.

"Shush, Zoltan."

Lucas scolded the bird.

"You don't know anything."

The raven landed on a cluttered desk, cocking its head to the side and letting out a sharp caw.

Lucas rolled his eyes.

"If you know the answer, then by all means, tell me."

A moment of silence followed, and Lucas scoffed.

"That's what I thought."

Zoltan hopped across the desk, landing on a piece of paper. Snatching it up, Lucas scanned the contents.

"This?"

He asked, studying what appeared to be an old design for an invention.

"I'll finish it eventually. The ring is merely a side project, not worth my time."

He tossed the paper aside.

The raven immediately hopped over to the discarded sheet, pecking at it insistently.

"I can't waste time on that, I have to unlock the book."

"They all called me crazy, said my ideas were baseless."

Reaching his hand out, he caressed the sealed book on his desk.

"Well, not anymore. After I unlock this book, after I prove to them all how I've been right this entire time... then no one will look down on me again."

Zoltan picked up the paper in its beak, and Lucas waved a dismissive hand.

"Don't eat that, you silly bird."

As Zoltan flew away with the paper clutched in its beak, Lucas's eyes widened in disbelief.

He lunged forward, his long coat flapping behind him as he chased after the mischievous bird.

"Stop your antics right now!"

Lucas demanded.

Pointing his finger towards the cluttered desk.

"Land there this instant!"

Zoltan let out a defiant caw, circling just above his head.

Lucas's face twisted in frustration.

"I am not behaving like a child."

He protested.

"You're the one acting childish. Grow up, you feathered menace!"

The raven flapped its wings in response, letting out another sharp cry.

Lucas's eyes widen, his mouth dropping open in shock.

"Take that back!"

Zoltan taunted Lucas further, wagging its tail feathers.

"That's it!"

Lucas roared.

"I'm having fried chicken tonight!"

Electricity crackled around his fingertips. With a swift motion, he sent a bolt arcing towards Zoltan. The bird, however, proved too quick, dodging the attack.

Lucas unable to catch the bird, pulled at his hair.

"Ahh! I am not doing this again!"

Turning away he looks down at the sealed book.

"Eat it for all I care, I have more important work."

Seeing Lucas no longer paying him any attention, Zoltan landed on his head letting go of the paper. The paper floated down in front of Lucas landing on the desk.

"Tsk, why do you insist on having me finish this?"

Lucas asked.

Zoltan cawed.

"Fine, fine you crazy beast. I'll finish it, will that make you happy?"

Zoltan seemed to do a dance as it moved on top of Lucas's head.

Lucas smiled and shook his head. His friend was crazy, but he just couldn't win against him.

"You owe me for this."

Lucas made one last comment before he picked up the design and sighed.

Bryan watched everything play out before his very eyes.

He thought the man was scary, but he wasn’t.

He was simply different.

‘Ah.’

Bryan came to a realization after seeing the interaction Lucas had with the bird.

‘He’s lonely. Like me.’