Path to the Apocalypse

"Sir Ursa, I must once again thank you for saving my daughter from the War Bear." Albert began as they sat down for dinner. "I cannot imagine the fate that may have befallen her had you not arrived when you did. For that, you have my eternal gratitude."

"Think nothing of it, my Lord." Ursa waved him off. "I was simply doing what any respectable man would, and you have already given me more reward than I could have asked for. I cannot be so greedy as to accept your gratitude as well."

Maurice rolled his eyes while Albert chuckled. "So, tell us, what brings you to my little corner of the world? Are you perhaps on a mission for your sect? Or maybe out to gain experience?" Albert continued.

Ursa shook his head. "I'm afraid I was never so lucky as to join a sect. No, I am simply a rogue Cultivator, traveling wherever my feet may take me, using the slight power I have gained to provide for myself as best I can."

Albert nodded. "A hard life, to be sure. You must have experienced many things in your travels."

Ursa chuckled. "Yes, you could say that. So much violence, more battles than I can count, and between humans more than I'd like to say. The more you travel, the more you realize how similar people are, wherever you go, right down to their petty squabbles. The Lords fight over their land, while the beggars in the street struggle over a loaf of bread."

"An unfortunate reality of this world we live in." Albert sighed in agreement. "Too many people who want too many things. If only we could learn to set aside our greed and work together… Could you imagine how great we could be?"

"I don't think greed is inherently bad." Victoria interjected. "Wanting more for yourself, wanting a better life… That's just human nature, isn't it? It's what gets people out of bed in the morning to work the fields, to train, to cultivate, because we innately want more. Greed pushes us to advance, to do better. Sure, sometimes it can get out of hand, but that's more about selfishness than greed. When greed turns from wanting more for yourself, to wanting more than other people, particularly wanting more from other people, that's bad. When you start thinking that you should have and others shouldn't. The problem isn't wanting more bread, it's wanting someone else's bread."

"What if there's only one loaf of bread?" Albert countered. "If the beggars could split it, they could both eat. Wouldn't it be better to do without greed in such a situation?"

"Well, the problem there is they're thinking short term. They shouldn't be worried about the one loaf of bread, but where the next loaf of bread is coming from. If they had a steady supply of bread, it wouldn't be an issue. They need to find some way to get bread, not fight over the bread they were lucky enough to find. Though… That might be more of an us problem. Part of the government's job is to grease the gears of society, to get rid of obstacles keeping people from being productive. If we have all these beggars running around, it's the government's job to ask themselves why we have beggars running around. Baring mental illness, which is a different issue, people want to work, at least more than they want to starve. If we have a bunch of people not working, we need to figure out why." Victoria explained in a somewhat rambling way, figuring out her own thoughts as she spoke.

Albert frowned, considering what she'd said, when AJ interjected. "Why should we care if some beggars starve? How is that our problem?" He commented in a disgusted tone.

"AJ!" Melissa exclaimed in a disapproving tone. "All life is sacred, from the highest king to the lowliest slave!"

"No, actually- well, I mean, yes, but that isn't the point." Victoria shook her head. "See, the beggars themselves aren't the issue, it's the fact that we have beggars that's the issue. See, society is like a… uh… you guys don't have a word for it… it's- it's a complex system that works together, every part supporting the rest. If you start losing parts, it's a sign that the entire thing is failing. Beggars are a sign that there's something wrong with society. Productive members of society don't just drop out for no reason. It isn't about saving the beggars. You could do that just by giving them money or something, but that doesn't really change anything. It's about fixing the problem causing the beggars so that society as a whole can improve, helping not only the beggars, but everyone else as well, including you. The beggars aren't a problem, they're a symptom."

Calvin raised his hand. "What if the beggars can't work? What if they're injured, or blind, or something?"

"That isn't a societal issue, unless we're doing something that's causing injuries. Like, if we're building a wall, and people keep getting hurt by falling stones, maybe we need to do something about all the falling stones. But otherwise, for people who can't, like orphans, the disabled, the mentally ill, all we can do is help them as best we can. If we can find something they can do, that's great, but if not, we just kinda have to take care of them." Victoria answered, before pausing. "Or just ignore them and let them die cause they're useless, I don't know. That one's a personal moral decision and completely up to you." She added with a shrug.

"What fascinating theories." Maurice muttered. "I assume they come from your memories of the other world?" Victoria nodded. "Such a strange outlook on the place of the ruling class… Seeing them as the caretakers of society, rather than overlords. What must their Lords have looked like? Did they live among the people? Or were they even further removed, looking down upon the rest like artists over a painting?"

Victoria sighed. "I wouldn't say the theory was ever properly put into practice. No matter where you go, rulers care more about controlling the populace than making their subjects' lives better. Uh, no offense." She added, glancing towards Albert. "It's just a natural facet of the job. Being in a position of authority naturally makes you focus on how people should be living their lives, rather than how people are living their lives. The belief that everything would be better if people just did what they were supposed to do. Since people don't do what they're supposed to do, or at least not what you believe they're supposed to do, you naturally want to force them into the proper behavior. Of course, because it's basically impossible to stop people from doing what they want to do, any amount of control enforced will be met with an equal amount of resistance. Just more fuel for the ever growing [dumpster] fire that is human conflict."

The table lapsed into an awkward silence for a moment, before Albert coughed awkwardly. "Well, that was all very… thought provoking." He commented. "Shall we eat?"

Everyone focused on their food for a bit, before slowly beginning some light small talk, the conversation building until everything returned to normal. Victoria sighed internally, chastising herself. Why did she always do this? No one cared about her extensive political theories, her ideas on human nature, or any of the various subjects she'd spent way too much time thinking about. Hadn't she learned her lesson back when she was still Thomas? Best to just keep quiet and only talk when people ask you direct questions. Except… At least as Thomas, he always had his family to talk to. They were just as weird as he was. Victoria felt a pit sink inside her chest, the knowledge that her family was dead and gone weighing down on her like a sack of bricks. She couldn't even enjoy her food, eating mechanically, thoughtlessly as memories of her old life, of everything she'd lost whirled through her mind. *Damn it! I was doing so well!* She cursed internally, struggling not to let her emotions show, to not let anyone worry about her, to not have to try to explain something she couldn't. Dinner couldn't end too soon, Victoria almost forgetting to grab the core from Ursa as she rushed out. She retreated to her room, falling into her bed as soon as she arrived, as the flood of emotion overtook her, sending her spiraling down into a void of helplessness and loneliness.

*

Melissa glared at Albert as they walked to their room. "What?" He asked, looking confused, thinking over what he'd done that day. Why would she be angry with him?

"Could you not see how hurt your daughter was tonight?" Melissa asked incredulously. "The first time since the accident that she's actually opened up, and you just dismissed her! She may never talk to us again!"

"What was I supposed to say!?!" Albert responded defensively. "She just told me I was a bad Lord, but it's okay, because all Lords are bad!"

"Did you stop and think that maybe she had a point?" Melissa retorted. "Would you not be a better Lord if you spent less energy on telling people what to do, and more on figuring out how to make their lives better?"

"It isn't that simple! You can't- people need laws to keep them in check! How else are we supposed to keep people from killing and stealing and all the other deprivations they wish to do?" Albert countered.

"Why not try asking her that?" Melissa replied. "I'm not asking that you agree with her, I'm asking you to engage with her! You cannot simply be there when you feel like and disengage whenever you feel uncomfortable! You are the adult, you are her father! It is your job to make her feel loved and appreciated, not hers to keep you from being offended!"

"She should at least respect-" Albert began.

"Oh, yes, respect!" Melissa interjected in a mocking tone. "Because if someone doesn't agree with you, they aren't respecting you. All your daughter did was share her honest opinion. If you consider that disrespectful, that is a problem with you, not with her."

Albert scowled in annoyance, unable to retort, but unwilling to admit she was right. He just didn't understand how everything had become so twisted recently. Ever since Victoria's accident, she had become so… alien. It was as if she was playing by a different set of rules and nothing Albert did was right anymore. Victoria was just so… independent. He felt like he no longer had any say in her life. Even when he could be there to help, it was on her terms. Even worse, there was nothing he could say about it, because she wasn't doing anything wrong! Even when he didn't like it, he couldn't argue against her decisions. He couldn't say she was being an irrational teenager. If anything, she was overly rational, even if she refused to explain her reasoning to him. What was he supposed to do with that? How could he be her father if there was nothing she needed from him?

Albert let out a weary sigh. "I just- I can't wrap my head around her anymore. I want to be there for her, to help her, but… I just don't know how anymore."

"Maybe you should try listening to her, instead of trying to control her." Melissa commented. "Maybe the help she needs isn't an authority figure telling her what to do, but an attentive ear letting her feel heard."

*

Victoria woke up the next morning feeling… better? Not great but she didn't feel the crushing emptiness anymore. She groaned as she got to her feet, feeling gross. She hadn't bothered to change into her sleepwear last night, so her clothes had twisted and crumpled awkwardly, feeling clingy and oily. Victoria peeled them off of herself with a grimace, going through the pockets of her pants to change the items over to a new pair, when she found the core Ursa had given her last night. "Oh right, I was going to see if the points could do anything with you…" Victoria muttered, before groaning again. "I also forgot to cultivate. Damn it." She grumbled bitterly, cursing her stupid emotions.

Victoria glared at the core again, before sighing and focusing on her points. "Let's just get this over with. Probably won't do anything anyway." She grumbled as she gathered her points up into a ball and sent them floating towards the core. The cloud hovered around the ball for a moment, seemingly with no effect, causing Victoria to click her tongue like she'd just seen her alcoholic friend post yet another picture of themselves with a large bottle of vodka and a comment about how good a time they'll be having tonight, when she suddenly paused. She hastily opened her status window, checking her points, not trusting her intuition.

[Points: 113 -> 114 -> 115 -> 116]

Every second, her points would tick up by one. Victoria's eyes widened in shock. She'd thought it might be a possibility, but for it to actually work. "Holy shit…" Victoria muttered in disbelief. She watched her points continue to grow for another few moments, before shaking herself, and putting the core down, leaving her points around it. She didn't know how long the process would take, and she still had things to do today. She quickly changed into another outfit, grabbing the core to put it in her pocket as she prepared to head down to do her daily tasks, when she froze. She opened her palm, watching the core dissolve into nothingness as her points stopped increasing. "Huh… that was actually pretty quick." She commented. It hadn't even been ten minutes. Victoria checked point total and frowned. Six hundred and fifty-six? That's it? Wasn't this core from a fifth stage Core Strengthening? It should have way more energy than that! Hell, her core had a capacity of fifteen hundred! Though… that was after spending some points. Still, shouldn't the energy in the core be in the thousands, not the hundreds? Then Victoria remembered what Maurice had said about absorbing energy from cores outside your own system. A significant amount of energy would be lost.

"If that's the case… Then I only got about ten percent of the energy in the core. Damn, that is bad. No wonder most people would rather trade." Victoria muttered to herself. Still, it wasn't like she had much choice. Her Spirit cultivation level wasn't high enough to absorb the energy in the core, and it wasn't like there was a point core floating around out there for her to absorb. "It's still much faster than relying on tasks, though… Over five hundred points in less than ten minutes! That'd take me weeks just focusing on tasks!" Victoria exclaimed, before pausing with a frown. Just where was she supposed to get the cores though? The Marquis wouldn't just give them to her for no reason, and she didn't feel right stealing them from Ursa. He needed to get stronger himself, not waste all his cores feeding her. Plus, if he used them, he'd get all the energy, while she'd only get a little. No, it was best that he kept the cores. Victoria remained standing there, considering the issue for a moment, before sighing and resuming her journey to her training yard. It seemed she still needed to rely on tasks. At least for now.

Victoria quickly arrived, beginning her daily tasks, before pausing as she thought of something. As her points grew, her daily tasks became more arduous due to her increased stats. It wasn't exactly a problem at the moment, since the equipment around here was built for Cultivators, but as her points increased, she'd begin to outpace what her cultivation should be, enough that the equipment in her courtyard wouldn't be able to handle it, and she'd need to upgrade. The problem was… how was she supposed to explain her need for better equipment to the Marquis without giving anything away? This problem had been bugging her for a while now, but didn't she have the perfect solution now? Victoria focused on her points, gathering them together and sending them outside her body. Immediately, she felt herself grow weaker, hesitantly attempting to give herself the Run task, which had stopped rewarding points a while ago, grinning as the task appeared. "Perfect."

As she began her run, she had another idea. Since she already had her points out there, why not practice her energy manipulation too? She immediately began to practice the one useful thing her Study Rune had taught her, and her points quickly began to form into the rough shape of an eyeball. Victoria faltered a bit at the sudden case of double vision, as well as the fact that her first attempt was incredibly blurry, but after a bit of meditation on the Study Rune, she quickly got the hang of it. It sort of reminded her of piloting a drone, if she was wearing some kind of VR helmet as she did it. The eye swooped around the courtyard at her command, spying over the walls to check on the guards training, before returning to watch her doing her own workouts.

As she watched herself jog around the courtyard, she fell into a daze, tripping and losing her concentration, her points dissolving and returning to her body as she flushed in embarrassment. "Well that's embarrassing." She groaned, covering her face with her hands as she lay on the ground, weird, conflicting emotions surging through her. How on earth was she supposed to feel about being attracted to herself?!? Over the past month, she'd been able to mostly ignore her own physical features, since she had a first person perspective most of the time. Baths were still slightly awkward, though she'd mostly gotten used to it, and every now and then she'd catch herself in a mirror and get distracted momentarily, which made her feel very narcissistic, but for the most part she could almost forget she was a girl. However, when she'd caught sight of herself jogging in that excessively form fitting outfit from an outside perspective… She was suddenly back to being Thomas, and thanks to the adolescent hormones running through her body, it wasn't even the more mature, eighteen year old version. It was the dumb teenager that got hooked on every pretty girl that gave him as little as a sideways glance. It didn't help that Victoria was an early bloomer, in that awkward state where she looked like she could be anywhere from her early to late teens. Knowing how young she actually was made Victoria feel like a pervert on top of all the rest of the awkwardness.

All of these factors created a groaning, shameful pressure within her, that she had no idea how to release. The only method she could think of involved a certain exploratory act that just had to be wrong for her to actually do. A disembodied, teenage boy, inhabiting the body of a deceased, adolescent girl, using said body of aforementioned girl to pleasure himself, because of his attraction to said girl? That right there was quantum levels of fucked up. All Victoria could do was distract herself, keeping herself too busy to think about it, but she was worried that if the pressure kept building, eventually she'd snap and jump someone in a hormone-addled mental break. She'd almost convinced herself that she should just masturbate and get it over with, as the lesser of two evils, but she just couldn't bring herself to actually do it.

Once Victoria had calmed herself down, Victoria resumed her jog, sans floating eyeball. Instead, she tested out creating an ear. Her Study Rune didn't just teach her how to extend her sight, but any sense, even taste, which seemed unnecessary. What would she need to taste from a distance? Still, the Rune taught what the Rune taught, and Victoria was more concerned with what the Rune didn't teach. Her Study Rune's lack of study knowledge was more frustrating than the addition of extrasensory tasting.

Once she finished her workout, Victoria took her bath and got dressed, heading out to find a sparring partner for blade practice, when she paused, noticing a small form waiting by the door. "Calvin? What are you doing here?" Victoria asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"You said we could hang out more." Calvin replied with a frown. "Did you forget?"

Victoria froze. "Uh…" Victoria thought back to the conversation they'd had right before she'd met with Wilson, been threatened by that Cultivator from the Hidden Blades, gone into the wilderness, met Ursa, and found out that one of the sects was attempting to go Empire. "I've been a little… distracted recently. I'm sorry. Do you want to do something now?"

"I don't need your pity." Calvin huffed, crossing his arms.

Victoria rolled her eyes. "It's not pity. I really have been distracted! I almost died, remember?"

Calvin paused. "Oh yeah… What was that like?"

Victoria blinked. "Scary? I don't know how to explain it, really. I just kinda… froze. There was nothing I could do, no way I could fight or escape… I just felt completely helpless at that moment." Victoria explained, reflecting on the moment Ursa had first appeared, before she'd realized he wasn't the threat she'd thought he was.

"That sounds awful… But you're still going to go back out there? What if something like that happens again?" Calvin asked, a hint of concern creeping into his voice.

"Well, then I guess I'll die? Unless I get lucky again. But I mean, I'd have to be pretty unlucky to run into another creature way too powerful for the area it's in. It'd be like getting struck by lightning, surviving, and then never going outside again because you're scared you might be hit again. The fact it happened once was already a freak accident, so living in fear of it happening again would be stupid, right?" Victoria explained.

Calvin frowned. "I guess that makes sense…"

Victoria grinned, patting him on the shoulder. "Just don't worry about it too much, alright? I'm tougher than you might think."

Calvin grunted noncommittally. "If you insist…"

"Come on, how about we play one of the games I made?" Victoria suggested. Besides using her Design Rune to make herself clothes and a few modern comforts, Victoria had been taking inspiration from the games she remembered from Earth to design a few of her own. She was particularly proud of a bastardized mix of chess and go, which focused on controlling squares using go pieces, then consuming them to drop chess pieces, which were then used to attack enemy controlled squares and switch them over to your own, letting you create more pieces, until you dominated the board.

"Games? Like cards or dice?" Calvin asked.

"Kinda. Come on, I'll show you." Victoria led him back to her room, bringing out the roughly made board and pieces, explaining the rules briefly, before starting a practice game. Calvin was confused at first, but after a game or two, he started to get the hang of it. He still wasn't all that good, but her version kept the go system of piece advantages, letting Calvin have a head start, evening the playing field. Victoria still won more often than not, but Calvin at least had a fighting chance, which original chess didn't allow for.

"So… what have you been up to lately?" Victoria asked as they settled into the game. "Are you learning anything interesting? Any new friends? Any old friends, actually… I wouldn't remember them anyways."

"Not really… When we go to the Capital for festivals, I'll spend time with some of the other noble's children, but those only last a few days at most, and the rest of the time we live so far apart. Even if I wanted to be friends with them, how would that even work?" Calvin replied morosely.

"Well, what about the kids around here? Why not try to make friends with them?" Victoria suggested.

"The servants' children?" Calvin frowned. "How would that work? Are they going to spar with me using sticks against my sword? Will we throw rocks at each other? Roll in the mud? Or will they come to my classes on noble etiquette? Learn about politics? About how to command an army? What common ground do we share?"

Victoria paused, thinking about it. "What's wrong with throwing rocks at each other? And have you ever tried rolling around in the mud? Maybe you'd enjoy it. Sure, maybe they can't join you for all your noble stuff, but why can't you just be a regular kid with them?"

"Because it would be wrong." Calvin retorted. "Our noble position requires the respect of our subjects. If I demeaned myself by playing among them like a common child, how will they respond when they're older, and they need to obey me? How can they respect someone they spent their childhood playing with? Someone who they remember joking with, fighting with, rolling in the mud with?"

"By being someone worthy of respect?" Victoria retorted. "Just because someone is your friend doesn't mean you can't respect them or be respected by them. If you rely on the fact that no one really knows you to maintain respect, then are you really respectable?"

Calvin frowned, considering her words, before shaking his head. "If you say so." He paused for a moment, before changing the subject. "So, are you looking forward to your birthday party?"

Victoria froze. "My what?"

"Your birthday party? It's in a few days? There will be guests, a feast, dancing, gifts? Your birthday!" Calvin explained.

Victoria's eyes widened. She'd known her birthday was coming up, though she hadn't gotten the exact date, but she didn't realize there'd be a party! Who would come? Did she have friends? Would they want to hang out? What would they think of the new her? Victoria really didn't want to see that expression of hope that slowly turned to disappointment as they realized how different she really was. Crap, what about the Duke!?! Would he show up? What was that going to look like?!? He'd expected to get engaged on her birthday. How would he react when he learned that wasn't going to happen?

Victoria groaned, rubbing her temple. "Fuck, that's going to be a complete cluster fuck."