Chapter 13: Is This Goodbye?
Lana's POV
It's the end of the day, and Mommy is here to pick us up—me, Izzy, and Jade. But I don't move. I can't move. I won't move. I need to hide. If I hide, I won't have to leave.
I used to hate this place—the noise, the crowd, Mr. Sun—but now, now I've gotten used to it. It's still loud, but not as loud as it used to be. The noise doesn't feel as heavy, and Mr. Sun, well... I don't hate him anymore.
But just when I was getting used to everything, when I was okay, it all has to change. We're getting a new babysitter. I don't want that. I can't handle something new, something different. It makes my chest feel tight, and my hands start to shake.
I look around for a place to hide, somewhere Mommy won't find me. Behind the bookshelf? Under the craft table? My heart races as I think about it. Once me and my sisters leave here, we are never coming back.
I spot a small space behind the bookshelf, a little nook where no one can see me. My legs feel heavy, like they don't want to move, but I push through it, making my way there as quietly as I can. I tuck myself into the corner, pulling my knees to my chest. If I stay here, I won't have to leave. I won't have to deal with anything new.
I don't see Izzy anywhere, and that makes me feel a little better. Maybe she's hiding too.
The noise around me starts to fade as I close my eyes. Mr. Sun is talking to some kids, and I can hear Mommy's voice, but it all feels distant, like it's happening in a different room. My fingers start to tap against my leg, trying to calm myself down.
I don't want a new babysitter. I don't want new anything. This daycare isn't perfect, but at least I know it. I know where everything is, I know how loud it can get, and I know how to hide when I need to. A new babysitter means a new place, new sounds, new people—and I don't think I can handle that.
My hands are shaking more now, and my chest feels even tighter. I try to breathe like Mr. Sun taught me, slow and steady, but it's hard.
"Lana?" It's Mr. Sun's voice, gentle but closer than I expected. I don't open my eyes. Maybe if I stay still, he won't see me.
"I know you're feeling upset," he says softly. "I know you're scared of change, but it's okay. You don't have to hide. You're safe, Lana. You'll always be safe."
His voice is calm, soothing, like he knows exactly how I feel. I keep my eyes closed, but his words do little to calm me down.
I stay curled up, my fingers tapping against my legs faster now. Mr. Sun's voice is gentle, but my mind is racing too much to focus on his words. I don't want to leave. I don't want a new babysitter.
I hear him sit down nearby. "You've done so well here, Lana. I've seen you grow so much." His voice is still soft, like he's trying not to scare me. "It's okay to feel worried. But even when things change, you can still carry all the good things with you."
I peek through the small gap between my arms. He's sitting with his legs crossed, his rays spinning slowly. He's not trying to make me leave, just sitting there. It feels safe.
I slowly uncurl myself a little, feeling my breathing start to slow down. "I don't want to go," I whisper, my voice barely audible.
Mr. Sun nods. "I know. It's hard when things change. But you are strong, Lana. And you're not alone. You have your sisters, and you'll always have the memories of all the fun times here."
For a moment, I think about the times I spent here. It wasn't always good, but there were moments—like when I built the rocket ship with Klyde and Sammy, or when Izzy made her first real friend. I feel a tiny bit of warmth in my chest, but it's still buried under the weight of what's coming.
Mr. Sun stands up slowly, offering his hand. "Whenever you're ready, Lana."
I look at his hand, then back at the small space I'm hiding in. I don't want to move, but I also don't want to stay here forever. Slowly, I reach out and take his hand. His grip is light, not pulling me, just there to help.
As I stand up, I feel the tightness in my chest loosen just a little. Mr. Sun smiles at me, his rays spinning a bit faster now. "There we go. You're going to be okay."
I nod, but I'm not sure if I believe it yet.
When I see Mommy waiting at the door with Jade and Izzy, I feel that tightness creeping back in. I take a deep breath and follow him to the door.
I stand there, watching as Izzy hugs Mr. Sun, but I know how much that hug means. "Bye...Sun..." Izzy mumbles.
Jade wraps her arms around him next, and for a moment, I feel a lump form in my throat.
I still don't want to leave. I still don't want a new babysitter. But I also don't want to say goodbye to this place, to Mr. Sun, to everything that's made this daycare feel less scary. The idea of never coming back, of not seeing my friends again, makes my chest feel heavy all over again.
Mr. Sun kneels down in front of me, his rays spinning slowly, like he's trying to match my pace. "We're going to miss you," he says softly.
I don't know what to say. I feel frozen, my feet rooted to the spot. I know he's right—I'll miss him, too. But it's not just him. I'll miss everything here: the crafts, the stories, even the silly rocket ships I tried to build with Klyde and Sammy. It feels like I'm leaving behind more than just a place. I'm leaving behind all the little things I've gotten used to.
Without thinking, I take a small step forward and wrap my arms around Mr. Sun. It feels strange to hug him, but I don't care. "I'll miss you," I whisper, my voice barely audible, like Izzy's.
Mr. Sun's rays spin a little faster, and I feel him pat my back gently. "I'll miss you too, Lana," he says softly. "But you're going to be okay, wherever you go."
I pull back, but my hands still tremble a bit. Izzy takes my hand, and Jade grabs my other one. Together, we walk toward Mommy, who is waiting by the door.
I take one last look at the daycare. I think I'll be okay. Even if I don't come back.
Will they return? Will the girls like their new babysitter? What do you think will happen?