Only the Party Members Returned, Not the Hero

13. Wizards who do not know how to handle mana (4)

13.

“The Archmage’s recklessness resembles Elish.”

“Why does it resemble me… ?”

“If I am, then so be it. Let’s go.”

After saying hello to Nia, Elish and I stood on top of the magic circle Nia drew.

The place we arrived was the bedroom.

All decorations and furniture were luxurious, but of course it was a single room.

“Tsk.”

My impression is, to the point of clicking the tongue once.

Your face is blushing again, Father, how did you get a shot?! I didn’t even want to react like this. The days of being an innocent boy are over. Crumpled all over the place.

I went into the room before Elish and took off her coat and hung it on a hanger.

“Hey, Ellen.”

“Yes.”

“Well, maybe…. Are you angry?”

“What is there to be angry about?”

“Because of the contract…. In fact, I didn’t want to go to the hemp tower because I was afraid Master would find out.”

“Oh, what.”

To be honest, I was embarrassed.

But when you think about it, it wasn’t something that should have been too embarrassing.

Elish was a non-responder, and as a warrior, I would have tried to increase the strength of the expedition, so it wouldn’t be strange if I chose to make a direct contract as one of the methods.

It may be that I am thinking this because I do not properly grasp the weight of the act of direct contract, but I wonder if it is any different from me before returning.

“No matter what, if there is a power increase, is there a direct or indirect contract to cover?”

Perhaps that sounded like disparaging the relationship of a direct contract.

After staring at me for a while, Elish nodded slowly.

“Th-I’m sorry though. I must have been very upset….”

“Don’t apologize, something like that.”

A disgusting apple.

“Please tell me not to apologize to others either.”

I decided to say what I wanted to say while I was away.

“For me, it’s only been a few days. It’s confusing enough just to act as if the person suddenly changed because of regression or something, and even if I apologize now, how am I going to determine if the three of them are making fun of me as a group or for some purpose?”

Apologetic or apology.

I never wished for that.

It’s not because I have a benevolent personality, to be honest, it was annoying.

The fact that I had to hold on to a human relationship that had no way to get better anyway, and the fact that I had to try to make it better was too annoying. There are a lot of things to do, but I struggle to become even a little stronger right now, and it’s been a long time since I gave up all my honor and dignity to do so.

Still, an apology is an apology for the last few days.

Since you keep apologizing like that, it’s not like I didn’t feel like it would be okay to restore our relationship a little bit.

It wasn’t that I didn’t think that I couldn’t open my heart easily because I was just a small asshole.

So I thought about skipping it.

There were many such people around me.

Because of the condition, I treat you kindly.

Pretending to be close for a reason.

Pretending to change your mind for a while because you have something to gain.

Not necessarily the three women, but all the contradictory words that the humans of the school of warriors influenced by the three women were saying to me.

Then, are they truly different?

Thinking about it for a long time, even if we have been so close and affectionate as they wished for the past few years, if by any chance the demon is captured and the mission of the Hero Expedition is over.

Are you still looking at me with those eyes?

So, sometimes.

I felt envious of Ellen before returning.

No matter what process she went through, it means she got to the point where she could fully trust the three of them.

And maybe I’ll never be able to be that way.

If you didn’t tell me all the memories of the girls who returned, you would have had the guts not to be together.

“I’m not angry, so take a break.”

After that, I walked past Elish.

I didn’t bother to look back at her expression.

My head started pounding again.

***

Sararak.

I hear the sound of the wind brushing the grass.

I told the person who looked like an attendant that I wanted to take a walk outside for a while, so he drew a magic circle on the spot.

As soon as I stepped on the magic circle, I was outside, and next to the wide rock I was sitting on, the magic circle that I could return to was shining softly.

I thought that a person who had studied magic for a lifetime could easily do something like that.

Can Elish do it too?

I don’t know how far Elish has grown before returning, but he must have skills that are on a completely different level from the Elish I know.

And those girls will be a great help to the warrior party.

Even so, why was Elish not pleased with it?

Obviously she was trying to repair her relationship with me.

Even if I asked myself if I was angry, it didn’t seem like that either.

As if a cloud of smoke fills your head, when you think of the past, it’s obviously f*cking memories.

If you ask me if I have to hate party members for the rest of my life because of that, I wonder if I need to do that again.

If you close and open your eyes once, will you be able to act as if you forgot everything?

Let’s try it.

One.

Two.

“… ….”

I closed my eyes hoping for that, but it was my first memory with Elish that came to mind like water.

At the time of the hero school, when I still had some clear memories of my family.

I was taking a class to make the desired shape using mana.

Even back then, I got close to perfect scores in almost all subjects, but I was particularly late in learning how to use mana.

It was for that reason that I was staring at Mana, who remained until the end and did not move.

Elish Charlotte, who was supervising me at the time, sat in her chair with her bored expression on her face, staring at me in the distance.

A calm voice that is different from now is clearly heard in my ears.

“Why waste time doing something that won’t work anyway. I heard that you are talented in other things, so wouldn’t it be right to focus on that?”

“I heard that you need to be able to do magic to become a hero.”

“Tsk, if you could have what you wanted so easily, would you have come this far?”

I stopped talking because I didn’t have enough time to concentrate.

Until then, I thought he was just a picky person.

After a few more hours like that, around the time the sun went down and the moon rose.

Looking at Mana, who didn’t move no matter how much I tried, and Elish, who had left the classroom to call me if he succeeded, saying he was tired, I put both hands on the table, which I had held high to my chest.

Looks like no way, I am.

I can’t be a warrior. Then what do i do now

Where and how should I live?

The moment I thought so.

Mana began to cling to her fingers one by one.

Her mana, which did not react lightly, emitted a bright blue light.

Three people under a certain tree were created as dozens or hundreds of strands of mana intertwined.

The face wasn’t drawn, but I could tell. That it was my parents and me.

Like a painting, Mana reacted to my hand.

The light was strong enough to break through the window frames of the school and light up the garden, which had been dark for a while.

Drreuk-Tak!

Elish with a surprised expression entered the classroom.

“M-Magician, I finally….”

I tried to tell Elish about my achievements with a mixture of half surprise and half joy.

Looking at her distorted face, I had to shut her mouth.

“A lie.”

“Yes?”

“Don’t lie. I mean don’t cheat.”

Ashen hair shakes violently. In an instant, Elish approached me and started pointing at me.

“I have already confirmed everything, you are my kind of human being. You can never handle mana!”

Her voice began to grow louder and louder.

“What kind of people are you talking about….”

“You are a non-responder who cannot use mana by nature! You, like that, can make such elaborate shapes? Do you want points? Is that why you cheated like that?”

“… It’s not cheating. I mean how do you move mana with cheating in the first place? I just thought of her family. And today was the first time I heard that I was a non-conformist.”

To say it was a trick, the shape of Mana Ellen created was too elaborate and bright.

More than anyone in the academy of warriors.

Knowing that fact even better, Elish lowered her pointing finger and stared at Ellen’s mana for a while without saying a word.

The dazzlingly beautiful circle of mana danced.

In the hands of Ellen, not Elish.

When she looked up again, there were tears in her black eyes.

With a twisted expression, she lazily raised the corners of her mouth and forced a smile.

“Ha, family?”

She held my desk with both hands.

Poison, not words, began to come out of his mouth.

Inferiority, resentment, hatred, jealousy, infidelity.

“You can’t see your family forever anyway.”

A dark magical pattern was drawn on the desk Elish held, and the desk instantly turned to ashes and poured down onto the floor.

“Didn’t nobody tell you that you’re a nonconformist? Of course not. Who would ever tell an apostate’s son that? You’d just want him dead?”

The photo frame I made was swept away by the wave of strong magic and began to collapse.

“Do you think I don’t know? Whose child are you And then, you move mana just because you thought of your family? A non-responder?”

“Do you think you will be able to see your family even if you become a hero?”

“A person with dirty blood like you could be involved in the journey of defeating the demon king?”

I felt my expression stiffen.

Elish and I mixed our burning gazes. Her feelings and mine were different in direction, but they were the same in that they had no backs.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Ellen.”

And that was the first time I saw such an expression.

A person who laughs like he’s about to break while crying.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Ellen-.”

The desperate voice that comes from scratching the bottom of the neck like a sob.

And silence again.

“… ….”

My eyes open.

Suddenly-

You can hear the wide forest, the bright moon, and the grass rustling in the wind.

The moon hung at the end of the huge hemp tower was slowly waning.

Remembered the troubled past.

I took out my cheap, crude sword and aimed it at the air.

A light stop tax that has been caught thousands or tens of thousands of times.

The tip of the old sword had never been stopped because of hardship even once until that age.

Because I had to live.

Because I had to live like a human, or rather die.

Loneliness, injustice, pain, guidelines, whatever.

Anyway, the hero was a being who had to move forward even if he remained alone.

My head hurt again.