Only Realized After Losing You

21. The Man Who Likes Lennon

“What a relief that your father isn’t here. I was worried that if he was here, I would be turned away.”

Lebrado talked non stop while cooking, but he didn’t look at me.

His eyes were focused on various ingredients.

It was as if he was still reeling from hearing those embarrassing words in the morning.

“Do you like meat? Master, you are so thin, I think you need to eat a lot of meat.”

Lebrado came to my house unannounced without saying anything.

I didn’t chase him away.

After all, I wanted to eat the food Lebrado made for me again, and there was no reason to kick him out.

In fact, I was a little hungry, so I was almost glad about his visit.

Once inside the house, Lebrado started cooking as if my kitchen was his own.

I sat at the table and watched him cook.

It was quite fun seeing him chopping and dicing.

The tips of his ears were still red.

‘Oh, you look good. I bet you have the… stamina to last all night.’

… Stamina.

I glanced at Lebrado’s lower body for a moment. It wasn’t a stare that meant much.

Lebrado was extremely embarrassed by my mother’s words.

Of course, it was embarrassing for me too.

However, the shame I felt was probably infinitely inadequate compared to what Lebrado felt.

I still couldn’t quite picture it.

The way he would wield his sharp sword, the way he would cut into his opponent.

Maybe I should ask him to show me his sword if I ever get the chance.

I was nearing the end of my fruitless thoughts, as Lebrado’s dish seemed to be complete.

“Ah, it’s done.”

Instead of a sword, he placed a large steaming pot on the table.

Labrador’s dish turned out to be a delicious-smelling beef stew.

He sat down across from me and began to portion the stew onto single-serving plates.

The ladle in his rough hands looked so dainty.

It wasn’t that the ladle was small, it was that his hands were too big.

Soon, he placed a single plate of stew in front of me.

“Eat it quickly before it gets cold, I can guarantee the taste.”

“… … .”

“Do you not like meat by any chance? Did I choose the wrong menu?”

I shook my head.

I was just hesitant because I was wondering when was the last time I had a proper meal so early in the morning.

Grabbing the spoon, I ate a spoonful of stew.

Lebrado just stared at me eating, just like he did the other day.

“How is it? Is it delicious?”

I nodded.

It had an exquisite taste.

So much so that I thought he was better suited as a chef rather than a knight.

Lebrado started eating the food he made only after I had a chance to eat it.

I glanced over at Lebrado eating quietly.

Early morning, hot food, and company.

It was a far cry from the previous day’s meal, when I sat alone at a table with no one around, stuffing food into my mouth to survive.

I thought it wasn’t so bad.

No, actually, it was very good.

So this is what it’s like to be with someone.

I ate the stew until I was full. I had not eaten so much in a long time.

I wanted to wash the dishes, but Lebrado pressed down on my shoulder with his big hand when I tried to stand up.

“I will do it.”

After saying that, he washed all the dishes.

He looked more like a chef than a knight.

Then he sat back down across the table and smiled at me.

I was not used to his habit of giving without receiving anything in return.

I was wondering if I should offer him my hand, when Lebrado’s lips parted.

“Actually, I wanted to meet you today, but you’re already booked.”

I silently mouthed the words I wanted to ask him,

‘Have you met my father?’

Lebrado answered like he understood what I was trying to say.

“Yes, your father was at the tavern where we first met.”

My father, who had been missing for several days, was there.

When will my father return?

Lebrado continued.

“Master, do you know who you’re meeting today?”

I shook my head from side to side.

Although I had a guess, I wasn’t certain.

However, Lebrado seemed to have the same guess as me.

“It can’t be my lord, can it? I hope not.”

Lennon, Lebrado’s master.

I also thought that he could be the person I was meeting with today.

Instead of answering, I responded with a smile.

I couldn’t quite figure out what to say to Lebrado, who was sad that he couldn’t be with me all day.

* * *

Lebrado and I were not wrong.

Not long after Lebrado left the house after having some tea, Lennon showed up.

Hearing a knock on the door, announcing someone’s arrival, I stepped outside.

And there he was.

Lennon was dressed in simple clothes, a far cry from his usual fancy attire.

He was leaning back against the carriage.

His red eyes bore into mine.

I was glad Lebrado and Lennon hadn’t run into each other.

“Hello, Miss.”

He greeted me as usual as I walked to him.

“We promised yesterday that we would meet today. I came here to keep my promise to Miss Ellie, how about you?”

Lennon was acting as if I had promised him something.

I tilted my head, as I couldn’t remember the promise I made to him.

Lennon stroked my hair calmly.

“I told you to guess what we’re going to do today.”

Ah. I gave him a look, as if I had finally remembered.

“But looking at your face, I don’t think I guessed anything, have you?”

“… … .”

I smiled awkwardly.

Lennon was right, I hadn’t really thought about what I was going to do with him today.

I had a lot of heavy topics to think about.

I wasn’t in a good position to leisurely imagine spending time with Lennon.

“That’s okay, though, because I got you all to myself today anyway.”

“… … .”

“Let’s go.”

Lennon pulled me in the carriage.

No sooner had we entered the carriage did it take off.

I stuck my face out the carriage window during the entire carriage ride.

I did it because I was wondering if I could see my older sister, who my mother had seen on the street.

I scanned the faces of the many people passing through the streets.

Despite my efforts, there was no sign of my sister.

Even though I didn’t have high expectations, I was quite disappointed.

I wondered who she was with.

Where is she now?

“Hey, is there someone you’re looking for?”

Lennon, who was sitting across from me, asked. I twisted my gaze away from the window.

“Maybe… someone you have a crush on?”

I shook my head.

Lennon seemed to still be under the illusion that I was in an unrequited love that would never come to fruition.

“If you need my help, let me know anytime. There’s a lot more I can do than you think.”

I questioned whether I could trust Lennon’s goodwill.

I was not good at trusting someone.

After all, I had never truly trusted anyone.

‘I’m looking for my sister who was sold somewhere.’

The words rose to the top of my throat, but I couldn’t say anything.

Why?

Why can’t I tell Lennon my story?

Do I not completely trust him?

Or was it because the young handsome man who was presumed to be with my sister, the one with the beautiful golden hair, was supposedly Hayden?

“I’m not forcing you, but you can tell me whenever you decide…”

I pointed at my mouth.

‘Will there be a price?’

Lennon, who seemed to have gotten used to the shape of my mouth, smiled crookedly.

“I’ll think about it then.”

* * *

The place we arrived at was the House of Hills.

I wondered if I came here too often and what we were going to do today.

The answer arrived quickly.

One of the servants was leading a horse with a beautiful auburn mane, which Lennon skillfully mounted.

The sight of Lennon sitting in the saddle with his back straight was quite spectacular.

He extended his hand towards me.

“Let’s ride together. I have some work to do in the afternoon, but I wanted to ride a horse with you until then.”

“… … .”

“I go horseback riding when I have a lot on my mind.”

Although I was hesitant, I took his outstretched hand.

I was curious about what horseback riding was like, as I had never ridden a horse before.

As soon as our hands intertwined, Lennon pulled me up with force and I sat down in front of Lennon without much difficulty.

I didn’t think anything of it until I got on the horse, but when I did, I felt embarrassed for some reason.

Our bodies were so close to each other.

Even though I had been close to him quite a few times.

Lennon grabbed the horse’s reins and gave it a little shake.

The skilled horse then began to walk through the barren garden, which had few trees.

Horseback riding didn’t feel bad.

Except it was a little scary when the horse’s body shook a little every time it walked.

But Lennon’s arm, wrapped tightly around my body, was reassuring.

I loved the feel of the wind hitting my cheek.

I felt like I understood why Lennon rode whenever he was overwhelmed.

We took a lap around the large garden in silence.

I could feel Lennon’s gaze on the side of my face as he sat behind me.

I glanced back.

Our eyes locked and he smiled brightly.

He isn’t looking ahead, just at my face. That’s pretty dangerous.

I gestured forward with my index finger, signaling to look ahead.

“Look ahead?”

I nodded, and Lennon quickly replied.

“Nope.”

“… … .”

“Because it’s dangerous? Well, the horse isn’t even running.”

Well, yes, but…

Lennon continued speaking.

“I want to see your face more than I want to see the boring garden I see every day.”

“… … .”

“Because you’re pretty.”

A familiar heat flushed my face.

As soon as I realized that my face was getting hot, I turned my head back to facing the front.

Apparently, I couldn’t hide my reddened face from Lennon.

I heard Lennon’s low chuckle.

“Your face turned red. Tsk tsk.”

How many women has Lennon made blush like this?

It was then that I felt someone’s gaze from the duke’s residence in front of me.

I raised my head in the direction where I felt the gaze.

It was in one of the rooms of the manor, and there was a shadowy figure peeking through the window.

Who is spying on us?

I suddenly remembered the man I had guessed who might like Lennon.