Only Realized After Losing You

16. It’s Boring

We walked through the gardens and into the foyer of the Duke’s residence.

The interior of the residence had a slightly different feel than before.

If it was quiet and desolate when I visited before, I would say that it felt more lively today.

It seemed like it was thanks to the pleasant sound of music penetrating my ears.

What kind of music is that?

We walked down the long hallway without letting go of our joined hands.

The more I listened, the louder the music became.

What I heard wasn’t just the sound of music.

The sound of laughter, rhythmic footsteps…

There were a lot of sounds that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.

I was sure then.

We were going somewhere crowded with people.

Eventually Lennon steps stopped.

He stopped in front of a large door that was wide open, and beyond the door was a large hall.

It was the source of all the sounds that reached my ears.

A band was playing soft music, and people who appeared to be nobles were dancing to the rhythmic clicking of their shoes.

“That’s right, I’m attending the grand banquet with you.”

Lennon lifted the hand he was holding, slipping my arm through his.

I was frozen with my arms around him.

“This banquet requires a partner to enter. I brought you with me as my partner.”

I couldn’t figure out Lennon’s intentions.

Why did he choose me as his partner?

If he wanted to, he could have brought someone prettier than me, someone with a better background.

I looked at him questioningly.

Lennon parted his lips with a soft smile.

It was as if he could see clearly what questions I had.

“Why don’t you think about why I chose you to be my partner this time?”

“… … .”

His plan to make me feel frustrated seemed to be successful, because I kept thinking about the answer to Lennon’s endless questions.

Would the endless agonizing and pondering eventually lead me to speak?

I wondered.

“Let’s go in.”

I followed Lennon into the banquet hall.

At that moment, a memory suddenly came to mind.

It was Lebrado’s words.

‘I’d love to see you again tomorrow, Master… but there is a banquet I have to go to tomorrow. When I was suspended from work, my lord told me to participate and I hate banquets.’

The banquet Lebrado said he had to go to today.

Is this the place?

Soon we were fully inside the banquet hall.

As soon as we appeared, the noisy surroundings quieted down.

The exciting performance, the sound of dancing feet, and the sound of laughter that came from everywhere all died out.

In the sudden silence that descended on the ballroom, I felt an intense gaze upon me.

Those eyes seemed to desperately want me to look at them.

There was no reason to look away.

I twisted my head slightly and looked for the owner of the gaze.

It wasn’t long before my eyes met someone with silver eyes.

The owner of the silver eyes was a person who stood out among the crowd.

… Hayden.

Unlike Lennon, he was wearing a white tailcoat.

As a member of the Hills family, he also seemed to have attended this banquet.

Hayden’s silver eyes were trembling slightly as they met mine.

I remembered the night before, when he had come to me without a sound and held a dagger to my throat.

‘If Lennon Hills is… with you for the same reason I am, please continue to see him, and let me in on his secrets.’

‘… … .’

‘Will you do that? If you will, I will give you everything: money, power… Anything I can give you.’

Since Hayden wanted to know his brother Lennon’s secret, wouldn’t he have been secretly glad that Lennon and I appeared together?

On the other hand, he might be nervous.

Maybe he was worried that his secret would be revealed to Lennon.

Trust and suspicion.

Which of the two conflicting emotions does Hayden have?

Once again, it was Hayden who averted his gaze.

He turned away from me as thoroughly as he had the day we met on the front porch in the rain.

It was as if there was absolutely no relationship between us.

I didn’t feel disappointed or sad about that fact.

We weren’t in a deep enough relationship to feel that way.

“… Don’t flinch when under their gazes, but straighten your shoulders proudly. And walk gracefully.”

Lennon whispered softly in my ear.

He seemed to have mistakenly thought that the reason I was looking around was because of the many gazes on me.

I nodded quietly.

“You are here now as the partner of Lennon Hills, the next head of the Hills duchy. No one can ignore you.”

Extremely arrogant words, to say the least.

But somehow, these words felt reassuring.

It was my first time coming to a place where so many people gathered.

And I did not like people very much.

If it weren’t for Lennon’s words, I would have been plagued by an unexplained fear.

However, I had a strange feeling that with Lennon, who was full of arrogance, I would not be afraid of those gazes.

Soon enough, Lennon began to walk again, having stopped for a moment.

I followed him without softening my gaze or hunching my shoulders.

Strangely enough, we were getting everyone’s attention.

Every time we passed by, we could hear people whispering in low voices.

I realized that it was the impact of this man, Lennon Hills.

I glanced up and saw that Lennon hadn’t faltered in the slightest.

He was looking straight ahead, a relaxed smile on his face.

The performance, which had stopped briefly, soon resumed.

In response, the nobles resumed doing what they had been doing just before.

They danced and clinked their wine glasses together.

But all the while, they were constantly watching Lennon and I.

I also felt sharp eyes occasionally reaching me.

It was unfamiliar hostility from strangers.

It was then that Lennon wrapped his arms around my shoulders.

“… … !”

He cradled me in his arms, almost hugging me, and gave me a slow smile.

“You held my arm too tightly. I guess people were looking at Miss Ellie too harshly.”

“… … .”

“I told you not to be scared. They’re all looking at you because you’re pretty.”

I nodded slightly.

Was it the heat of Lennon’s body?

I felt like I felt much more at ease.

Eventually, as we walked to the central hall, Hayden, whom I had seen from afar, came into my field of vision again.

Hayden was not far from us.

Hayden was the only one not looking at Lennon, as he was chatting quietly with some nobles.

I looked at him a little more closely.

His white skin showed no life, and his eyes when he looked at others were emotionless.

He looks like he’s going to die soon.

Hayden seemed reluctant to talk to others.

But he still socializes with people for a reason,

‘Because I’m the second son, and I have to surpass my older brother to become the head of the family.’

Could it be because of those words?

I pulled my gaze away from Hayden and looked at Lennon.

Lennon, contrary to Hayden, did not talk to anyone.

He just looked around with contemplative eyes.

His brilliant but intimidating red eyes stood out wherever he was.

But no one approached Lennon.

I thought it was because of the atmosphere he gave off.

There was something about him that was unapproachable.

Lennon seemed completely unbothered by that fact.

“The heartless bastard isn’t looking at me today.”

Lennon also glanced at Hayden.

Then, perhaps because the tie that was worn all the way to the neck was uncomfortable, he loosened it.

“Why don’t we go to the balcony? I think we’ve shown ourselves enough at this point.”

I nodded.

He didn’t let go of my shoulder, which he held almost like a hug the entire way to the balcony.

Lennon’s body temperature was hot against my body.

We stepped onto the corner balcony on the second floor.

I closed the glass door of the balcony and looked down at the banquet hall I was in just a moment ago.

Where is Lebrado?

I squinted my eyes, trying to find his features, but I couldn’t look for long.

It was because of Lennon, standing with his back against the balcony railing.

“Hey, Miss Ellie”

He called to me, like he wanted me to turn around.

As if he didn’t like me standing with my back to him.

I twisted around as if responding to his call.

I would have been happy if I had found Lebrado, but it didn’t matter if I couldn’t.

Finding him wasn’t that important.

“Shall I tell you something funny?”

I nodded.

Lennon continued with a relaxed smile.

“For tonight’s banquet, which you can only get into if you have a partner, everyone is competing for a partner, because your status depends on which partner you bring.”

“… … .”

“But it’s so funny. Everyone is choosing their partner again and again, but the person they care about the most is the girl who is my partner.”

He chuckled. It felt like he was making fun of the reality I had experienced.

“Who will be the partner of the next Duke of Lennon Hills? I guess it’s because they are curious. Who would know that you are a commoner, Ellie? Heh heh.”

Having said that, Lennon craned his neck all the way back.

His red eyes were looking up at the dark sky.

His subsequent confession was spat out towards the sky.

“It’s boring.”

“… … .”

“Nobles are so monotonous, so predictable, so boring.”

His head, which had been looking up at the sky, straightened to its original position,

“The only thing that’s not boring to me right now is being with you.”

Lennon looked straight into my eyes.

The red in his pupils seemed to deepen in color.

I felt like I could be sucked into them if I kept looking.