One-Punch DxD: NEO

Let's get 2022 started with a new chapter! XD

"Issei! What the hell is this?! You never told me Black can do that!"

In the training room under the mansion, Irina shouted at Issei that was busy inspecting his new legendary sword while she fled from a horde of evil grinning Blacks as they cackled.

"Come here, little girl!"

"We just want to touch your skin!" The giant one grinned cheek to cheek.

"ISSEI!"

Standing beside Issei, Xenovia watched her crying friend fleeing, stunned by the sight of the alien creature turning into a massive amorphous, shapeshifting swarm while Yuuto and Muramasa inspected the holy sword.

"So, what do you think?" Issei asked Yuuto with a smile.

"It's a genuine article, alright." Yuuto nodded, "...And it's powerful; I can see how the legend of St. George came to be."

"I kinda want it to be a katana honestly. Or an odachi." Issei admitted as he glanced at Muramasa.

"Fufufufu, sorry, but I am already taken." She giggled.

"Boooo." Issei playfully gave her a thumbs-down.

"Reforging a holy sword is nothing nearly like reshaping clay." Yuuto wryly smiled.

"I always wanted to be a samurai when I was a kid… Hah, fuck it. Let's do this." Issei took a few steps back as he tried twirling the sword in his hand… only for the sword to slip out of his grasp at the third spin as it clattered on the floor.

"...Uhhh…" Issei blushed as he quickly picked it back up.

Yuuto and Muramasa's smiles grew even wider as he held it in both hands, the double-edged sword pointing at Yuuto.

"Ignore that." Issei frowned as he ignored Irina's screaming for him in the background.

Yuuto conjured a holy demon sword, a basic one.

"I am not going to lose to you in my specialty." Yuuto spoke with confidence.

"If I win, you're gonna make me a badass katana. And grovel before me. I'm so going to abuse my bragging rights." Issei snorted, earning a light chuckle from Yuuto in return.

"Don't expect the quality to be on par with Muramasa."

"Fufufu, if only you knew." Muramasa shook her head as she muttered to herself.

Yuuto and Issei circled around each other. Yuuto saw the inky horde surrounding Irina as she desperately swung her blade at them. If only she knew… ah, one of them got her.

Returning to Issei, Yuuto held his sword, mimicking Issei's grip as he smirked. Yuuto made the first move.

But his smirk vanished when he saw Ascalon's gleam raised overhead, so close to him, forcing Yuuto to raise his sword as it crashed down in a guillotine blow.

His sword broke and Ascalon immediately cut through his skin as he fell back, hissing from the holy agony.

"Come on, seriously?!" Yuuto groaned as he leapt a few steps back.

"Hah!" Issei guffawed as he lazily held the sword to the side. "What's wrong, Yuuto? You're going to lose to an amateur at this rate! One with the bragging rights in his reach!"

The Knight scowled, as he then proceeded to encircle Issei instead of charging directly.

"Come on, Mr. Knight! What's wrong?! I'm just a newbie with a legendary sword, what can go wrong?!" Issei taunted with a cocky tone, waving Ascalon in the air.

Instead of replying, Yuuto calmly observed and analyzed everything from all angels.

"Come on, don't be chicken! Let a guy have fun for once!" Issei dared.

Yuuto's lips twitched upward slightly. Issei might be strong, fast, and his swing earlier was quite powerful for an amateur; but that was the point - while Issei might have grasped the logic behind the sword, he was in the end, still an amateur in the way of kenjutsu.

Still, he was also the man that could defeat him in one punch.

"Even so!" Yuuto dashed in and delivered practiced strokes of his blade, his years of training in the art striking at Issei.

However, the boy simply blocked the strikes with Ascalon with little effort. His swordsmanship was average, but his dynamic vision was another story. None of his techniques or attempted angles could reach him, all interposed by Issei's sword.

Yuuto tried to retreat, but Issei grabbed his wrist, the one holding his weapon, and pulled him into a knee strike to his gut, forcing the air out of his lungs.

"And I win!" Issei slammed the hilt of Ascalon onto Yuuto's back. Yuuto kissed the floor and dug a Yuuto-sized hole inside, resting with the taste of the arena in his mouth.

When the Knight groaned while struggling to get up, Issei helped him up, "So? How did I do?"

Yuuto spat out some pebbles from the rubble. "You… your technique is nonexistent… but your experience closed the gap between us."

"More like running you over like a truck." Issei snarked as he helped steady himself on his feet.

"So? What about that badass Katana?" Issei asked with a smile.

Yuuto simply rolled his eyes and a sheathed katana suddenly flashed into life - floating briefly before Issei quickly caught it. Issei banished Ascalon and unsheathed the sword; the blade was not bad, but there was still so much to be desired in its quality.

"Settle with that for the time being…. Until I come up with something better."

"Boooo." Issei jeered. "Even I can tell it's not that great." Issei frowned as he sheathed it.

"Dear, dear." Muramasa approached them, shaking her head. "I must interject with a maker's wisdom. A sword of good quality takes time, Master. You should try crafting with patience and dedication. After all, that is how my maker forged all of his finest works."

"That's comforting…" Yuuto shrugged as he stretched out the remaining kinks out of his joints.

"...Speaking of which, how did your maker forge you?" Issei asked out of curiosity. "I always wondered how legendary swords are made."

He learned only the basics from Azazel's classes on the matter of sword-making, though the craft of a legendary sword was another matter. Mostly because of his ineptitude with magic overall.

"Oh, you already saw how." Muramasa gestured to Yuuto.

"...What?" Issei blinked between the swordsman and the sword.

"Muramasa, my maker… is also a user of Sword Birth." She smiled. "Master has my maker's Sacred Gear. The very tool that carved his name into legend."

Issei and Yuuto blinked once, twice. They stared at the smiling Youkai weapon as their minds clicked.

""EEEEHHHH?!""

Both boys shouted with abject shock, completely overwhelmed.

"WHAT?! YOU! SWORD BIRTH! HOW!?" Issei shouted, pointing at Muramasa as he babbled out his thoughts in incomplete accusations.

Yuuto was rendered shocked speechless on the other hand.

"Fufufufu. Why, I did tell you. Time and dedication. He is no warrior, but a remarkable blacksmith. And with something like Sword Birth in his hands… he managed to turn something usually seen as weak into the greatest forge a blacksmith could dream."

Her confession garnered abject disbelief from the two gawking boys. Issei slowly turned his gaze to Yuuto.

"...Dude. You gotta go learn blacksmithing asap."

"I will… Consider that." Yuuto simply nodded while looking at Muramasa, before looking down in thought.

"Ahem."

Issei and Yuuto turned to Xenovia.

"Issei. I would like a chance to spar with you once more." Xenovia requested.

Issei stared at Xenovia for a moment before his gaze returned to Irina.

"HEEEELP!" Irina was being pulled into the black mass of evil smiles. She was crying streams of tears.

"Uhhhh, after I help Irina. Spar with Kiba first." Issei requested as he stored his katana.

The pair of sword-users glanced at each other before they nodded and proceeded to move to a more secluded area.

When Yuuto and Xenovia had prepared their respective dummy-swords, Issei then turned towards Black clones who were surrounding and ganging up on his childhood friend.

…Or more like, the small horde were standing around Irina, who was crouching in a fetal position, utterly defeated.

Issei raised an eyebrow at one of the clones, who simply shrugged, as if silently saying, 'we didn't go too hard on her, if that's what you're asking'.

"Iri? Are you alright?" Issei asked as he knelt before her. He wondered if he was too harsh on her.

Irina did not reply as she remained in that position.

"...Did I go too hard on you?" Issei asked, now nervous about her condition.

Irina looked up at him.

"...I am sorry if this is a bit traumatizing. It's… how I usually train when I was little." He let out a weak smile.

Irina only pouted at him for a few moments, before she marched up and wrapped her arms around him, and buried her face into his chest.

Issei was startled for a second, but soon relaxed as he gently hugged Irina back, "...Do you understand now?" He asked as his hand ran circles on her back. "What awaits you at the Vatican is something a hundred times worse than what Black did with you just now. I… I can't guarantee that I can keep protecting you like this. It's better if you stay here in Japan until I sort everything out, then we'll get you back in shape once we take care of the spells written on your brain."

"...Yeah, I understand." Irina whispered, before she suddenly broke away and glared at Issei with fire still burning in her eyes, "But who said I'm quitting? I just wanted to recharge." She finished by a quick peck on Issei's lips.

Issei blinked, along with Black clones, "...Eh?"

"...Did she just dupe us?" One of the Blacks pointed at her.

"Wow, these implants actually do wonders." Irina herself was rather surprised, as she patted the hair ornament. "I mean, honestly, it's like, I just received the best head-massage in my life whenever I started to panic. Good Lord."

Issei snorted in amusement, "...And you'll feel a lot better once we remove that magic tattoo off your brain. So you're up for another round?"

Irina only nodded with an even more determined smile, as she stood up and brandished her dummy sword once more.

"...Alright. Black, you heard her. Do your thing again." Issei then stepped back again.

"Come here, girl!" One of the Blacks enlarged, multiple white faces appearing on his body as a large arm came her way.

"You'll never get me!" Irina shouted with vigor as she whacked Black's giant hand away as the battle resumed while Issei continued backing away from them.

He decided to return to Xenovia to see how she was… and she was kneeling on the ground with Yuuto's sword poised at her defeated form.

"Well, I don't need to ask the obvious. How was she?" Issei asked Yuuto, already knowing who won the fight.

Drawing a breath to compose himself, Yuuto replied, "Strong, decent reflexes, but lacks finesse, and relies too much on brute force. Unlike you, she does not have your experience…"

"Uh-huh. Says the guy who lost to the same girl who relies on brute force." Issei remarked.

Yuuto looked bashful and sheepishly chuckled to himself, "Yeah, it was…. Not my greatest moment. I was not really myself back there."

"No shit. What about you, Xenovia? Do you need Asia to check on you?" Issei turned to the defeated girl.

The said girl only held her hand up, asking a moment for herself. As she regulated her breathing to push the pain down, her mind recalled the conversation she had with Issei's cyborg uncle/mentor the other night.

oXo

"No."

Genos denied her. His face remained stoic as Xenovia was left baffled.

"No? What do you mean? Why? What you accomplished against Kokabiel was-"

"From years of hard work, dedication, research, coincidence, and sacrifice. Being a cyborg is not without great cost, young Xenovia. I became a cyborg solely for vengeance, when another cyborg ravaged my town and killed all I loved. But along the way, I learned the hard way that there is always a price for every fast route to power, Xenovia. I've seen many examples beforehand."

Genos finished with a somber tone, staring at his clenching and unclenching his own mechanical hand.

"...And I will not have you sacrifice your future for it."

oXo

The looks on Genos' face as he said those words left a mark in Xenovia's mind, as she would think of the conversation from time to time. Even now, as she learned that she was lacking in her swordsmanship, Xenovia could not help but to remember the cyborg's words.

"I-I'm fine." Xenovia replied, "Just a light bruise, I'll be fine shortly."

She stood up and took another breath to recompose herself, before she nodded at Yuuto, "It appears you are stronger than me when you are in the right mind."

"Please don't remind me. Hearing it reminds me that I have to return to Silver's arena." Yuuto requested, still embarrassed of his past vendetta.

"Anyway, do you still want to have a round with me?" Issei offered.

Xenovia regarded Issei for a moment, before she had a second thought, "...No, if I still can't defeat Rias Gremory's Knight here, I don't think I'd stand a chance against you… I will attempt it once I defeat him."

"Awww. I want to swing Ascalon some more." Issei groused a little, much to Xenovia and Yuuto's small amusements.

Then, the door to the training room was opened, revealing Rias, Akeno and one more person.

"Ise, your newest student is here."

"Hm?" Issei blinked and saw that the Student Council president was following behind the ladies. "Oh, Sona."

"I apologize for not visiting sooner. I hope I am not intruding, Ise. I am here for the first of my regular lessons in the art of combat." Sona greeted the boy as she was ready, clad in work-out gym clothes.

"...Right." Issei nearly forgot. "You're just in time… you okay with me swinging a holy sword at you?" He asked just in case.

Sona curled a confused gaze.

"Excuse me?"

"...Never mind. So, how do you want to do this?" Issei asked as Sona caught sight of Irina fighting against an amorphous horde of black mottled with white faces, fending them off with a wooden stick.

"Back away, you demon!" Irina shouted as she whacked every hand elongating towards her.

"Err…. Is it alright if I stick with you? I don't think I'm ready to face…. That, or them?" Sona awkwardly pointed at Irina.

Issei smiled in a mild amusement, "Oh, don't worry about them. For now, warm yourself up with some stretches, and I'll be with you."

A few minutes later, Issei and Sona were facing off against each other, with the others, sans Irina, watching.

"Let's see… you fought off an assassin on your own, right?" Issei half-remembered.

"Yes, although I only survived long enough until Tsubaki rescued me." Sona frowned at the memory.

"Hey, everyone has to start from somewhere. Don't beat yourself up just because of a bad start." Issei attempted to cheer Sona up. "You survived a professional hitman. That's something not everyone can just brag about, you know?"

Issei wagged his finger at her to start whenever she was ready.

Sona assumed a simple boxing stance, bobbing on her feet a couple of times before she charged at Issei. She threw a right straight punch to his face once she was within range.

"So." Issei blocked Sona's fists with casual grace, one hand behind his back. "What's the plan for the Peace Conference? How much security's gonna be there?" Issei asked while fending off three swift jabs to his midriff.

"Preparations are mostly finished - the rest is simply confirming the amount of escorts and bodyguards accompanying the respective leaders." Sona replied as she did not stop with her onslaught. In fact, she began to put more power in her attacks.

"Don't overextend in the enemy's field." Issei advised as he pushed her back before she threw the sixth punch. "...But that's just the devil side, right? Or you got the security detail regarding the other factions?"

"We received letters from both Archangel Michael and Governor Azazel, each of them basically stating the terms of their arrival. So far, none of them sound aggressive." Sona took a couple steps back to regulate her breathing.

"Okay. Try again, but this time try to make an opening." Issei said as Sona resumed.

"For some reason, I can see some dumbass going to crash the conference… Wanna make a bet it's from a Devil?" Issei offered as he parried an amateur feint.

Sona leered at Issei.

"...One thousand yen that it's a Fallen Angel."

"Two thousand for devils."

Soon, some of the spectators also joined the betting pool, ranging from angels, fallen, devils , even some freak natural disasters hitting the upcoming peace conference.

"...What happened to my house?"

A man with a bald head, costumed in yellow and red and cape white, stared at the massive building in place of his homely… home.

He looked around - was his memory getting bad with age?

There was a lavish metal fence and gate he would usually see in a luxurious neighborhood or something… he was sure he was in the right neighborhood.

He was about to make a phone-call to Genos, to ask for directions, but his eyes spotted on the plank attached next to the fence, where the kanji of his family name was written on it.

"...Your home is big." A little girl commented from the man's shoulder.

"Yeah…" The man just rolled with it, still looking back and forth between the plank and the house.

"Screw it." He then jumped over the fence and strolled towards the front door, walking on the white tile road paved on the grassy lawn from the fence entrance to the door.

oXo

"You did better against Black than I thought." Issei commented as he was giving Irina a piggy-back ride from the training area to the ground floor.

"Is that comment intended for me, or President Sona?" Irina grumbled as her head was resting on Issei's shoulder.

"Both." Issei easily replied as he glanced at Sona, who was walking while massaging her shoulders and arms.

"Okay… Does it mean I passed your test? I can go with you to the Vatican?" Irina asked with a hopeful tone.

"That's not a test, that's training." Issei denied. "Like hell I'm gonna let you go with just one session. The real test happens the day before I set off for the Vatican. Black is going to condition you every day until then, so don't slack off just because I'm playing favorites with you."

"Meanie." Irina muttered with a pout.

"Sorry, Iri. I'm just looking out for you." Issei grinned at his childhood friend.

"You're actually doing a lot better than Rias, Sona." Akeno commented on the side as she walked next to Rias and Sona. "You should have seen how Rias fumbled through her first few times in hand-to-hand."

"I was not that bad!" Rias protested with a pout.

"President. Don't fumble." Koneko chimed in, "I can attest to that as your sparring partner."

"True. Tsubasa and Saji remarked on your progress during the training camp in your villa." Sona quipped with an amused smile. "Like one time you tried to ambush Issei from behind, only for you to eat dirt, almost literally."

Rias' face went nearly the same as her hair before her pout went deeper, "...I got better."

The doorbell suddenly rang - just when they finally arrived at the main lobby, alerting them out of their conversation.

"...Are we expecting visitors?" Issei asked, before he glanced at the others, who shrugged in return.

Carefully putting Irina down to stand on her own feet, Issei then approached the front door.

He opened it…

"Ah. Hey, son."

The girls tilted their bodies to see a man… they were blinded for a second when the light reflecting from his head was somehow magnified before they registered his image.

It was a bald man. His face was so… egg-shaped. They remember seeing him in a picture, but seeing him in the flesh was a different matter. Irina, however, was more surprised than baffled.

"...Dad?" Issei blinked before he stepped back, allowing Saitama to step inside the house. "Wha- since when did you arrive in town? And… is that a girl?" He pointed at the brunette loli in gothic lolita.

"...Hello." The girl waved at them.

Issei was not going to lie, she looked very cute in her own way. She looked a bit like an apathetic girl, with a cool-beauty kind of vibe.

"Yes. But more importantly, what the hell happened to our house?" Saitama asked, before he noticed more eyes were directed at him, "...And who are these kids? Actually - hi, Tsubasa."

Everyone else glanced at the aforementioned girl, who awkwardly returned the greeting, "Err, um… Yes, good to see you again, sir."

On cue, Black and Rover caught up with them, "Whew, what's the hold up…. What the fuck?" The former finally noticed the new arrival.

"Oh, hey." Saitama greeted, and the dog barked happily and trotted towards the man.

"Oh, shit, the Baldy's back." Black retreated a few steps back.

"'Sup, buddy." Saitama knelt down to pat on Rover, "Wow, you've gotten quite bigger since the last time I saw you."

Issei immediately turned to Tsubasa. Tsubasa made eye contact as he backed up to her. He elbowed her sides.

"...You gonna challenge him?" Issei asked.

"What? Why?" Tsubasa asked.

"...Say hello to the Strongest Man." Issei gestured to Saitama. "The strongest human in the world… I remember some of you calling bullshit so… who wants to go first?" Issei smiled at them, from cheek to cheek.

Then, Haruka suddenly arrived at the scene, "Come on, kids! What's the hold up? Breakfast is getting…"

Her words died down when her eyes met with Saitama's. The man stared at his wife before he waved, "I'm home, Haru."

Without a word, Haruka simply smiled brightly and ran towards him, prompting the little girl to jump off Saitama's shoulder.

Everyone then was greeted by the sight of the woman throwing herself into the newcomer's arms, as he spun around while embracing his wife.

"Welcome home~" Haruka sounded way too pleased before she planted her lips deeply into Saitama's.

The kiss went deeper, longer enough until Issei had to clear his throat, "...Really? Already in the morning?"

The couple broke off, with Haruka giggling sheepishly while Saitama looked a little embarrassed, "Right, sorry about that, Ise." Then the woman proceeded to address everyone in the room, "Ah, that's right. Everyone, this is my husband. Dear, these are Ise's friends from school."

Saitama stared at the girls he did not recognize with his blank eyes.

"...Why are there girls here?" Saitama asked, pointing at Rias' group.

"Um, long story. But don't worry, they live here." She smiled sheepishly. She looked down to see the little girl holding Saitama's pants.

"And… who's this? She looks so cute." Haruka smiled at the sight. "Wait, are you doing the thing all adults shouldn't do?" She asked.

"Uhh, what thing?" Saitama tilted his head.

"Hello." The loli greeted.

"...What's your relationship with my husband?" Haruka asked almost accusingly.

The girl stared at the woman before she looked up, as if in thought.

"...We are friends." The girl then simply replied.

"Ookay… May I know your name, at least?" Haruka asked next.

"I… am Ophis."

"Ophis-chan, is it? So, where do you live? Wouldn't your parents be worried?" Haruka kept asking, which Ophis simply replied cryptically.

"…No parents." She shook her head adorably.

For Haruka, it was a simple name. For the rest of the Devils and exorcists, the weight of the name crushed their composure. They glanced at the girl - Ophis, the Dragon God of Infinity, the legendary, strongest existence?

"…Is she really that Ophis?" Akeno whispered to Rias.

Rias was not sure herself, "I don't know. Last time I heard, Ophis took the form of an elderly man." She whispered back.

"I thought Ophis was an adult blonde." Koneko whispered, joining in.

"In any case, legends and past sightings have stated that Ophis is a shape-shifter, a dragon in a non-conventional sense. There was no telling of her reasons for taking the form of elderly man in the first place; but assuming the girl is indeed Ophis, why is the dragon god taking that form and travelling with Ise's father?" Sona put in her two-cents.

"It might be just another girl with the same name for all we know." Koneko suggested.

"That's…." This time, it was Xenovia who chimed in, "Doesn't sound far off the mark, actually."

"I hope that would be the case here." Rias said, "Having the most powerful dragon loitering around when something as crucial as the Peace Conference, is basically asking for potential disaster to happen. Let's just…. Be optimistic for now."

Everyone nodded in agreement, albeit Asia was a little out of the loop but opted to play along.

However, Issei on the other hand, was silent as his parents were conversing with the dragon god.

"Um… Ddraig? You might need to calm down. You are freaking out too much now."

[It is impossible not to panic when your father just brought the FUCKING OUROBOROS HOME! Seriously, what is he, or rather, she doing here?!]

It was the first time he felt Ddraig's panic. Issei pursed his lips as he stared at the girl.

"...Say. Ophis. Why did you tag along with Dad?" Issei asked the little girl in gothic lolita.

The quiet doll-like girl looked up to him. She held Saitama's hand.

"...I like him."

Issei blanched. The Welsh Dragon gave a choked growl from within his soul.

"...He gives me good food."

"...Is that it?" Issei asked, tilting his head.

Ophis only nodded in return.

On the other hand, her responses only caused the rest to relax more - yes, it was more likely that whoever this girl was not that Ophis.

"Dad, I am curious. Where did you find her?" Issei pointed at her. "Are we adopting her?"

Saitama looked at Ophis.

"Are we?" When the little girl did not reply, he turned to his wife, "...Are we?"

Haruka crouched and picked up the girl, holding her like a doll.

"Ohhh, why not? She's so cute!" She squealed while Ophis remained there, still stoic, even as the woman was smothering her silly. "Not to mention, she said she no longer has parents, didn't she? It'd be terrible to leave her alone!"

At least Issei did not have to worry about Dad turning into a lolicon. The atmosphere was still a bit awkward. Issei did not know where to continue this conversation.

"Dad, anyways, what are you doing back here?" Issei asked.

"Uh, came back from… the flipped mountain."

Flipped mountain?

Everyone stared at him.

"Well, my job is done, for now, so I thought, why not give everyone a surprise visit back home? But… What happened to the house? Why is it a mansion? Haru, did you win the lottery or something?" Saitama asked back, pointing up, at the lavishly expensive mansion.

"Oh, um, hehehe." Haruke sheepishly ran her hand through her brown locks. "Um, it's a long, long story. I would love to tell you about it. But for now, we can say that it is a generous donation from the ladies there." Haruka then beckoned Rias to come over.

Rias stared at the egghead. He looked… very average no matter how she looked at him. In fact, she could not tell that he was Issei's father from his looks alone. And this man was supposedly the Strongest Man that wrecked the Vatican.

Rias walked over next to Haruka.

"This is Rias Gremory. She is the daughter of a wealthy family, and she has come to ingratiate herself in my son's life."

"It's… a pleasure to meet you. Sir?" Rias curtly bowed.

"Rias? Rias… Rias… Rias…your hair… ooohh, your Sirzechs' baby sister." Saitama snapped his fingers.

"Um… Yes, I am Sirzechs Lucifer's sister, Rias Gremory. It's a pleasure to meet you, sir." the young woman introduced herself.

"He never stops talking about you… you kind of look alike. Like him but more girly." Saitama tilted to look at her from a better angle. The baldy looked at the rest of the girls, Akeno, Koneko, Xenovia, Asia… Irina… Really, he did not recognize most of the girls.

"Come, dear. You just came back from a long trip. Why don't you join us for breakfast so we can properly introduce everyone? Issei, help prepare some coffee for your father. Girls, you're free to join us as I help him catch up. Oh, and if you want to ask him permission to have my son's hand for marriage, now's the time." She winked and flashed a thumbs-up at the girls who were immediately flustered by her unexpected suggestion.

"...What?" Saitama glanced at his son, who bashfully looked away. "Seriously, what did I miss? Wait, are they really living here? We have tenants now?"

Black snickered.

It was going to be a long morning.

Saitama stared at the coterie of girls sitting or standing across the table as he slowly sipped his mug of hot coffee. Ophis was sitting right next to him, as he stared at them with his blank, seemingly emotionless eyes that seemed to stare into their very souls.

"...You've had quite a run since I left."

Saitama commented. Haruka sat on his other side, hugging his arm with a giggling smile.

"Yeah… you can say that." Issei sipped his coffee as he glanced at the girls that were blushing still.

"...You took care of yourself well." Saitama nodded.

"Uh, thanks." Issei unsurely replied.

Saitama hummed as he nodded along. He then glanced at Genos - who had joined them earlier; the cyborg did not even budge as he glanced back without a word.

"I… heard… the Kokabiel stuff. Sorry for not being around." Saitama then began the next topic, which brought the atmosphere down a notch.

"It's okay… he kind of was going for it, honestly, you're not being here." Issei smiled. "Can't have you protecting the house all the time."

"...Yeah." Saitama nodded as he sipped his coffee.

"...So…" Tsubasa decided to try and banish the awkward atmosphere. "...I heard you are the so-called strongest man… you don't look like the part, just saying." She quickly amended the last part, not wanting to offend the father of her boyfriend.

"...So?" Saitama did not budge, twitch a muscle, or react in any perceivable way. He continued staring at Tsubasa with the stillness of a statue.

Haruka poured a cup of tea and handed it to Ophis. The girl stared at the cup before she gingerly accepted it. She slowly sipped the brown liquid.

"...Mmm." She continued sipping in bliss.

"Um… Yeah, I, err… was just saying about… y'know, the rumors around you." The fact that Saitama did not react as Tsubasa expected only made the girl more nervous.

"Like?" Saitama took a bite out of his toast.

"...Did you really… punch the Archangel Michael in the face so hard you split the land?" Tsubasa asked.

Saitama just remained unmoving.

"...Yeah, that's not my best moment." Saitama admitted. "Was… seeing a lot of red that time. First time I did, actually."

The girls exchanged looks. They did not know what else to talk about.

"What do you do in your profession?" Rias was the next one to ask.

"Oh. I'm a Hero." He replied. They stared at his… very… average yellow, red, and white costume. "Though, it's mainly for fun, really. Just a hobby of mine."

"...Right." Rias nodded, before she glanced at Issei, who merely shrugged at her with a knowing smile on his face. "And what about the jobs you take for Azazel?" She continued.

"Oh. well… stuff. He sends me somewhere, I take care of the stuff. Usually, that's how everything goes." Saitama sipped his coffee again.

"Like… what?" Rias asked.

"Y'know, stuff - met a lot of interesting people along the way."

[Like the fucking Dragon God of Infinity.]

Ddraig groused.

Shhh.

"How did you meet my brother, now that I wonder?" Rias asked.

"Ah. Well, that's a funny story. I went to Hell that one time."

"You mean the Underworld?"

"...Isn't that the same thing?" Saitama asked.

"It kind of is and not at the same time… but you know what, nevermind. Continue, please." Rias dismissed.

"Okay… let's see… uh, I once ended up in Hell by accident." Saitama admitted.

Issei quirked a brow, "How'd you end up in Hell 'by accident'?" Issei asked, quoting.

"I got into the wrong train…"

Issei blinked, glancing at everyone else who was quite as confused as he was.

"...What happened next?"

"Um, well. I saw a floating island thing past the window… When I did, well, I knew I was going to end up somewhere else. I tried to ask the conductor to turn back if he can."

"...Did it end well?"

"I ended up punching the conductor." Saitama's expression contorted in guilt, while the devils' faces looked perplexed.

"PFFFT BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Black broke down in laughter as he rolled on the floor holding his stomach.

"I was… uh, kind of panicking back there. But anyway, I somehow got down on this station and…. Met this lost kid."

Issei furrowed his eyebrows, "Lost kid?"

"Yeah. He got separated from his parents. He was kind of like you when he saw what I did in that train… asking why I punched almost everyone there."

"Pffft! S-Seriously, what the hell did you do?" Issei broke down into laughter as he held his face, unable to control himself. He missed hearing his father's misadventures. It always brought him joy every time he came back with a ridiculous story. It was impossible to take him seriously anymore like this.

"Well, everyone there is kind of… I don't know how to say it. Moving on, I asked the kid to ignore them. He said he wanted to go back to his parents, but he has people after him. I decided to help take him back home… I met a lot of rude people along the way."

"Did you punch them?" Issei grinned.

"Yes. Then there was this… Err, they kind of look like Team Rocket from that Pokemon show. The one woman that looked important… she called herself Kat… Kat… Katalogue, yes!" He snapped his fingers.

"Kata…. Logue?" Issei glanced at Rias, who only shrugged, as well as the others.

"She sounds very rude… I can't remember what she said. I moved on and returned him to his father and… that's how I met Sirzechs, Grayfia, and… There were some others, but I can't really recall. We chatted a little, played some games, and had some food. I think the kid took a liking to me, though."

"Ohhh." Rias pieced it together. "Then… the boy you met was Milicas. He's my nephew." Rias remarked with a small smile. "Now that you told me, I did hear Milicas saying that he met a funny, bald man… he wouldn't stop talking about him. I didn't know that was you."

"What did he say?" Issei asked Rias.

"Mostly about how he wanted to be strong like him." Rias replied with an amused tone, before she bowed, "You have my thanks for looking after him."

"It's fine. The kid was fun to hang around with. I've kept Sirzechs' contact number ever since."

"You've been having too much fun at work." Issei playfully scoffed, before he remembered something, "Oh, right. These are the friends I made at school. Most of them are members of Rias' peerage."

On cue, everyone else then began with their introduction. When Akeno introduced herself first, Saitama interrupted, "Oh, so you're Baraqiel's daughter."

"That's right, I suppose you know my father?" Akeno asked with a mild curiosity.

"We would hang out for a few drinks sometimes. Though, last time we talked I heard you and him were still….. Y'know?" Saitama ended with some uncomfortable tone.

Understanding the meaning, Akeno simply giggled, "It is alright, Mr. Hyoudou. We have worked things out lately."

"Ah. I guess Baraqiel is over the moon now." Saitama remarked with a light joking tone.

Koneko was the next one.

"...Kuroka's little sis?" Saitama pointed at her.

"Yes, I am. I… hope my sister didn't cause you any trouble?" Koneko replied.

"Well, I don't know… Never talked to her much. Though, I think she tried to get me to do something with her… anyways." He shrugged.

"Yuuto Kiba, nice to meet you, sir." The Knight introduced himself next.

Saitama stared at him.

"Is it just me, or… Why is he the only boy other than you?" Saitama pointed at him.

"There's actually another one, but he's not here." Issei informed.

Asia then went to introduce herself next, "Um, my name is Asia Argento. Nice to meet you, Mr. Hyoudou!" She bashfully bowed that her forehead collided on the dining table.

"Owie!"

"Whoa, easy, you okay there?" Saitama asked as Asia whined while nursing her throbbing forehead, with Xenovia and Irina cheering her up.

Rassei poked out of Asia's hair and chirped. He nuzzled against Asia's bump, licking it.

"Oh. Is that a snake?" Saitama pointed at the baby serpent.

"Uhhh, it's a dragon, actually; just recently hatched." Issei corrected.

"Looks cute." Saitama hummed as Asia patted her little friend with a smile.

Sona then came next, "I am Sona Sitri from the House of Sitri. It's a pleasure to meet Ise's father."

"Oh, so you're this 'So-tan' that Serafall never shut up about?" Saitama bluntly pointed at her.

Everyone snorted in amusement as Sona's face lit up in embarrassment, before she cleared her throat. "P-please ignore whatever my older sister said, and I'm terribly sorry for any… inconvenience that she ever caused for you."

"Nah, it's no problem, really. I've dealt with even a worse big-sister. Serafall is a saint compared to her, as weird as it may sound." Saitama waved off.

"Xenovia Quarta." Xenovia introduced herself next. "I am Irina Shidou's friend. I have heard great tales from Sister Griselda regarding your… visit."

"Oh. Uh, I'm not sure what they're saying about me but I don't look the part, do I?" Saitama asked.

"No, you do not." Xenovia smiled.

"By the way. You said you're Iri's friend? How is he doing?" He asked.

"...Hm?" Irina blinked.

"I beg your pardon?" Xenovia blinked as well.

"Irina - Is he doing okay? Last time I heard he and the Toujis have settled in England. Is Irina in the town too?" Saitam asked.

Everyone stared at the oblivious baldy while the person in question was petrified, not out of fear, but complete dumbfoundment.

Black actually choked on his coffee, hacking out the liquid while struggling to not burst out laughing at the absurdity of the latest revelation. Haruka also shook, while pressing her knuckles against her lips, trying to contain her amusement from showing up. Even Genos was giving a small knowing smile.

It seemed that Issei was not the only one that mistook Irina as a boy.

"...I am Irina."

Saitama blinked and turned towards a girl with chestnut-colored hair tied in twintails. "...Come again?"

"It's… Me, Irina Shidou, Mr. Saitama. It's good to see you again." Irina sheepishly smiled.

Saitama stared at the cute girl for a moment. "Err….. Sorry, I don't really get it. Does she…. Happened to have the same name as Irina or something?" He turned to his family.

There was an awkward silence as they waited for the baldy to piece it together. Black broke down in raucous laughter, banging on the table.

"...You're a girl?"

Irina was not sure whether to be offended or amused, but she kept her smile nonetheless, "Yes - Yes, I am."

"This is rich! The apple never falls far from the tree, after all!" Black remarked while laughing.

"Err…" Saitama looked back and forth between Issei and Irina.

"...And… I am Issei's girlfriend." She smiled wider.

"...HAH?!" Saitama's eyes comically bulged out of his sockets, his jaw dropped smacking the table.

"No, she is not!"

Everyone blinked when Tsubasa suddenly interjected. When eyes were on her, the blunette immediately amended, "I- I mean, I'm Ise's girlfriend first! Right, Ise?"

"Eh?!" Slamming the table, barely holding himself up, Saitama's expression grew more comical as he turned to Issei.

"Err… Yeah, it's kind of complicated right now." Issei could only reply with an awkward expression on his face.

"That might be the case, but I am also, practically, his girlfriend now!" Irina argued back with puffed, defiant cheeks.

"T-that's not true! I-I took his first kiss, damn you!" Tsubasa pointed at her with flustered outrage.

"Oh, is that so? When was it?" Irina defiantly asked.

"A few weeks ago! When the whole fiasco with Kokabiel is going on! We… We even reached our third base!" Tsubasa boldly proclaimed, all while her face was as red as Rias' hair.

"HAH!" Irina guffawed with a haughty smile. "That's what you can offer? Then too bad, because as a matter of fact, not only have we gone all the way, I have also stolen his first kiss during our first Christmas together years ago!"

[You did?!]

Everyone asked, even Haruka, Asia and Black.

"EH?!" Issei's eyes bulged at Irina this time, sharing Saitama's comical expression.

Irina then smiled sheepishly at the boy, "Um, yeah, when you're asleep on the couch, actually. So I don't think you'd remember… Regardless!" Her haughty tone returned as she addressed Tsubasa again.

"You may think it was you who took Issei's first kiss, but the one who did it was I, Irina!" She shouted, all while jabbing her thumb on her own chest.

"Wha… but… I…" Issei was sundered speechless at the ridiculous turn of events.

Black, on the other hand, was as speechless as Issei, albeit for an entirely different reason.

"By all my quadrillion lives…" Black muttered in awe, as if he was watching the birth of his ultimate form. "She pulled a Dio…!"

"Don't you even fucking go there, Black!" Issei retorted.

Everyone stared at Irina, completely and utterly stupefied by her declaration. Asia was whimpering a little as Rassei cooed, trying to cheer her up. Tsubasa was so stupefied that she couldn't even follow up with a retort to fight back.

"...Issei. Explain." Saitama asked, slowly pointing back and forth between Tsubasa and the now pompous Irina.

"Err….." Issei found himself between the rock and hard place. Nobody would and could come to his aid, as his father was pinning him in an uncomfortable position with his mildly bewildered gaze.

"...It's exactly as they described." He hung his head low.

Black finally calmed down, now he was more interested in how Saitama would react to his son dating two girls. Much to his disappointment, however…

"Let me get this straight. Issei… you have two girlfriends?"

"…Yes." Issei admitted.

"Really? You? I don't know whether to call you lucky or not…. And they're cool with it? Haru, are you cool with it?" The baldy pointed at his son while looking at his wife.

"As long as everyone is happy and I get some grandchildren to spoil rotten out of this, then I am cool." Haruka easily replied with Saitama's lingo.

"Of course you are." Saitama muttered under his breath, before he addressed his son again, "Welp. Don't know what to say here honestly. Just keep things sacred and safe… Though I don't think that's relevant anymore." Saitama gave Issei and Irina a knowing look, eliciting a blush from the two.

"… Did you actually do it?" Saitama asked.

Their silence spoke enough of their deeds.

"…Can we talk about something else?" Issei begged.

"Okay." Saitama carelessly obliged. "Did anything else happen? I'm out of the loop… you got any plans for Summer Vacation?"

Suddenly, the atmosphere went somber, as Issei casted a worried glance at Irina, who frowned at the question. Saitama himself only looked around in confusion.

Thankfully, Genos quickly intervened, "About that, Saitama…. I believe we need to talk in my workshop, after breakfast. Ise, Irina, I need you both to come as well."

It was the first time Issei saw Saitama make a face like that, an emotionless face like always yet he could practically taste the unbridled anger behind his eyes.

And it was the first time he felt his casual father's emot-... rage, like a hot, searing cascade of needles piercing every resistance Issei could muster to suppress a shiver.

The air darkened around Saitama despite the ceiling lights not dimming, the air felt suffocating despite the room being well-ventilated and air-conditioned.

oXo

Elsewhere, Black, Rover, and even Rassei flinched as they shivered.

"The Baldy is pissed…" Black muttered, feeling cold sweat.

It was even worse than the other time when the family nearly got killed, after he delivered the news to him. Rover whined as he ran towards Asia while Rassei squeaked with fright, shivering in Asia's hair, much to the girl's confusion as she tried to calm them down.

oXo

Irina hid behind Issei as Saitama's figure seemingly grew, an invisible pressure threatening to drown them, to suffocate them and the world.

"…I'm going for a walk." Saitama turned around.

Before Saitama took his fourth step, Genos blocked his way.

"...Would you promise me you won't be anywhere one mile from Rome?" Genos asked.

Genos, Issei and even Irina had an inkling of what Saitama planned to do for his 'stroll.'

"Genos… twice."

Issei could hear the invisible, yet tangible, rage in his voice.

"I've never been… this angry, twice; and by the same people that nearly killed my wife and son. Irina… is like another so-I mean, daughter to me. Someone has to answer."

"Dad…" Issei interjected, as he put his hand on his father's shoulder. "If it's worth anything, the one responsible is already dead and gone. Michael is working on punishing the rest. You don't have to do this."

"…Issei. I know I'm slow sometimes." Saitama admitted. "But I know what they are. For someone like them to allow… something so fucked up to happen to Irina… I know there is supposed to be trust here…" Saitama looked down for a second before he met Issei's gaze again, "But that trust is dead."

"Then trust me."

Saitama paused, as he recognized the resolve in his son's eyes.

"Dad, I know how you feel. I feel what you feel. So… let me handle this. You're out of the loop, while I'm not… So, let your son try and do things better. I'm thankful that you're doing this for Irina, for us. But for once… let someone else run the show. Besides… you can't always be here to set things straight, right?"

Issei flashed a weak smile.

Father and son remained there, their eyes never leaving each other in a tense silence.

Slowly, Saitama's ominous aura dimmed. The suffocating pressure lightened as Irina finally took a breath of relief.

"…You sure you know what you're doing?" Saitama asked.

"At least I put more thought into it than 'I'm pissed so I'll punch Michael and everyone at the Vatican in the face'."

Saitama snorted, the tension was completely diffused as the atmosphere returned to normal. He ruffled Issei's hair. "You got that cheekiness from your mom for sure, kid. You really going to that place?"

"It's the best place to start, honestly." Issei nodded, "Whatever that's been done to Irina, started from there."

"Ah. Alright. Are you taking anyone else with you?" Saitama asked.

"For now? Me, Xenovia, Asia, Rover, Black since he has too many lives to spare and we can use his OP reconnaissance skills, and maybe uncle Genos. We're meeting uncle Touji and Raphael once we get there." Issei replied.

"Hey, what about me?!" Irina pouted.

"...And Irina if she gets my approval." Issei cheekily added.

Saitama smiled at the banter.

"You've really grown up too fast after I took my eyes off you." Saitama noted.

"Yeah… wish you were there to see it. But you'll probably just punch every problem away like always."

"That is true." Genos agreed.

"And everyone is against me… How are you going to get there? You booking a flight?" Saitama asked.

"Yeah, we're booking airplane seats. Black probably doesn't need it since he's literally everywhere."

"Why not just teleport there?" Saitama asked.

"Yeah, I know - it's convenient, faster… Not to mention free. But Sister Griselda said something about the protocol of teleportation spells being hindered in the Vatican due to restrictions or some bullshit. I'm actually planning to ask Michael for some kind of VIP pass to just warp there during the Peace Conference."

"...You really have things thought out, don't you?"

It was strange, seeing his son turning into an adult like this. It was even more embarrassing that he was not even around to see it.

"Can't be a kid forever, dad." Issei smiled. "...Are you going to be around more? No more long runs to the middle of nowhere?"

Saitama tilted his head up, "...Depends. I'll go ask Azazel if I can take some jobs that'll keep me in Kuoh at least."

"You can just ask Azazel for a teleportation item so you don't need to worry about distance." Genos suggested.

Saitama and Issei stared at them as if they were hit by the hammer of logic.

"...Azazel recently completed it." Genos added, explaining why Azazel did not give it to him earlier.

"...Or we can do that." Issei felt a little dumb. "But we need to make sure the Peace Conference goes well, first. Honestly, the conference needs more attention since, well, it's a peace conference between three superpowers. One of them is your employer…"

"Ah… I think Azazel told me something about it…" Saitama absent-mindedly commented.

"No need to worry." Genos interjected as he had been typing on her cellphone, "I just sent you a text message containing the summary of your next job for the Peace Conference; the details have been compressed into a twenty-word paragraph."

"Oh, thanks, Genos." Saitama smiled at his longest friend.

"Come on, dad… You can't keep having uncle Genos to carry you all the time!" Issei chided with an exasperated tone.

"Uh, no idea what you mean…" Saitama ignorantly dismissed his son's scolding, while Genos simply took it in stride as usual.

Issei and Irina could not help but laugh at his obliviousness.

"Alright, alright. Imma go join the others upstairs… actually, now that I think about it, I need to check on someone." Issei suddenly remembered that there was one other devil girl here.

"I'll go with you." Irina quickly fell in step beside Issei as they left the workshop.

Saitama and Genos watched the couple disappear by the door.

"...I was never that popular, you know?" Saitama remarked as he reminisced. "I was alone… kind of ignored by even the teachers. Honestly, I feel a bit jealous."

"...Then I say the women who could not see you for who you were back then, were utter fools." Genos replied, "Haruka was the only one worthy to be by your side."

"Now you're just blowing hot air." Saitama lightly jabbed his friend. "Come on. Let's go meet Haruka. I think Ophis would like us to show her around Kuoh. She likes sweets, you know?"

Genos smiled as he followed his best friend out of the workshop.

The home felt much livelier now with the man of the household home at last.

Irina heaved a sigh as she walked next to her boyfriend. Her mind still could not forget what transpired earlier, "Seriously, Ise, your dad…"

[It's the first time I am terrified of your father…]

Ddraig added.

First time I saw his angry side, too.

Issei felt bad for whatever sap that dared to fight against him.

"Yeah, he rarely shows that side of him. Wish I could've had him show you how he can funnily turn anything into red paste with a single punch, though." Issei replied.

Issei needed to check up on one other girl. A certain Phenex that had returned but barely interacted with the other girls since then.

According to Rias, as soon as Ravel arrived at the house a few days ago, she only gave simple greetings and well-wishes before she locked herself in the room, asking for not to be disturbed.

Well, it was finally time to disturb her since the Peace Conference was nigh.

Issei arrived at Ravel's room with Irina.

"Issei, what are we doing here?" Irina asked.

"Do you know Ravel Phenex?"

"...I am familiar with the family name, but I'm afraid I never really spoke with this Ravel girl." Irina replied after a short recollection.

"Welp, then prepare yourself to speak with her. Don't worry, she's a nice girl." Issei said with a wink before he knocked the door a few times.

"Ravel, you there?"

They waited for a few moments.

"...Lord Ise?"

Oh, good, a response. It meant she had not gone NEET yet.

"Yeah. I came to check up on you. An important day is coming tomorrow, so I want to make sure you're alright there."

Then, several small noises of ransacking were heard from beyond the door, before Ravel's voice was heard again.

"...You can come in now!"

Issei and Irina opened the door, and the first thing that greeted them was a thick scent… of musk. He did not expect there to be musk in a girl's room.

Inside was the definition of a shut-in's room, but not like Gasper's room.

There was a heap of rumpled clothes, though it was a first for him to see elegant dresses in feminine colors discarded like that. There were also several small boxes and tupper-wares with a faint smell of food - it was likely that Ravel had been eating deliveries and take-outs.

Other odors mixed with the pungent smell, seizing Issei's attention to the gases emanating from test tubes on a desk at the end of the room… a veritable chemistry set.

Just when Issei was about to approach the small workshop, Ravel then made herself known, coming out from the toilet attached in her room.

"Welcome, Lord Ise! Ms. Shidou!" Ravel greeted them while somewhat presentable. However, judging from a few loose ends on her hairdo, as well as a thick scent of perfume coming from her, as well as wrinkles in her dress - it was safe to assume that Ravel had yet to take shower.

"…When was the last time you bathed?" Issei had no words. He was too stunned with disbelief that the prim noble lady turned into… this.

Ravel blushed as she fidgeted on her feet, "Since… I came back…?"

Issei raised his eyebrows in bemusement - there had been at least one week since Ravel had returned to the Hyoudou Residence; no wonder she was never seen lately.

Pinching and massaging the bridge of his nose, Issei asked, "...And what have you been doing?"

Ravel's face brightened up slightly, as if she was somewhat glad that Issei asked the particular question.

"Oh! Lord Ise, um… I've been working on a project! Azazel came to me for my… assistance in fulfilling your request."

"What request?" Issei asked in small confusion.

"Alternative medicine, other means to restore bodily health other than Phoenix Tears!"

Issei and Irina then glanced again towards the small desk where several vials were aligned and held together.

"...I assume that desk over there is where you are currently working on this…. Project?" He pointed at the table in question.

"Yes, that's right! It's not finished yet, but would you like to take a look?" Ravel implored.

Issei was caught off guard. He was more afraid that she delved into the secret forbidden sections of the world called the internet.

They made their way towards the small workshop, and Ravel began to explain, "So, here's the idea; we, the Phenex clan, are blessed with regenerative powers that are virtually akin to nigh immortality if it were not for our weakness to the holy-light element and our finite magical reserves. Our tears are famous to serve as a miracle healing remedy that can even reattach severed limbs and heal almost any injuries. However, here's the question - is it only our tears that can impart our healing powers to others? Many mythical and other legendary creatures have their blood being capable of granting healing and rejuvenation as well."

Ravel then gestured to the vials on her desk, "...Which leads me to these samples! These are the samples taken directly from me - a pure-blood devil of the Phenex clan, for me to test if they also contain our healing factor!"

Issei noticed that most of the vials were filled with translucent liquids, with one of them particularly filled in red.

"This one is my original tears." Ravel gestured at the first vial, before she proceeded to the next in line one by one, "...Then this is my blood, sweat, saliva, and my urine."

"Wait, what's the last one again?" Issei asked with scrunched eyebrows.

"My urine. I have to take into account every bodily fluid." Ravel explained.

Irina winced in disgust while Issei leaned back slightly.

"That's… I don't know, it's a bit extreme… how's your progress?" Issei decided to roll with it.

Ravel's smile widened, "Turns out, each sample contains our clan's healing factor, in varying quality and quantity! The blood and tears are quite interesting; the former contains higher quantity, but the latter has higher quality - they are purer, as the blood reacts volatilely to several reagents I've had. My sweat and saliva have quite a good quality of my healing factor, but their quantity is lower than the tears… That might explain why my clan has been producing healing remedies through our tears - they have the most balanced quality, quantity and stability compared to our bodily fluids. However, I want to explore more possibilities, hence further tests are required. Once the peace between the Three Factions is established, the Grigori and perhaps Heaven can further this research!"

Issei and Irina exchanged glances, Ravel's…. Project sounded great, albeit a little disturbing from the way she had been conducting herself.

"That sounds… wonderful. But you might need to prep yourself. The Big Christian Three are having a peace conference tomorrow, so we need you to look good. Also, my dad got home."

Ravel blanched, "L-L-Lord Ise's esteemed father? O-of course, I shall prepare myself at once!" She then ran towards the bathroom and slammed the door shut.

"She is…. not what I expected," Irina said with honesty.

"Yeah… But give her some time to come around. For now, let's just wash ourselves and go from there."

"...Wanna take a shower together, though?"

Issei blinked and turned to see Irina, who was smiling knowingly.

The day went by, and the moment which would decide the fate of the entire Judeo-Christianity religion, had arrived.

It was evening; the entire school ground had been encased in a powerful dome of barrier, with an army of angels, fallen angels and devils hovering above the academy.

At the main gate… Issei and the ORC saw three perfect male figures.

[Aiyaiyaiyaiyaiyai...]

While a radio was blaring dubstep from a certain anime - part two; the three: silver, gold, and platinum were all posing before him and the rest.

Their perfect bodies shone, glittering like treasure, Silver squatting low, Gold flexing his muscles behind Silver, and Platinum dabbing behind them.

"...Really?" Issei addressed the three gate guardians with a flat, unamused look, refusing to comment on how ridiculous they appeared.

"It is the perfect song to reflect our glory." Platinum Sperm, who stood in his glittering glory, replied casually.

On the other hand, most of the ORC had yet to meet the rest of the Three Metallic Sperms, Platinum in particular. All of their eyes were wide in awe and bewilderment.

"…Why are all of you so buff?" Saji asked, pointing at them with disbelief.

"Bluntly put, to flex on the beta males." Golden responded while flexing his macho arms.

Saji and Yuuto grimaced.

Saji looked at his arms… he squeezed his pectorals a little.

Yuuto glanced on his arms - no matter how much he had swung his sword for as long as he could remember, while his arms were not thin in any way, there were barely any visible muscles.

"Also, pretty boy, your next match is next Saturday. Expect my visit by then." Silver added.

Yuuto's grimace deepened.

"...Has everyone arrived yet?" Issei quirked a brow.

"Everyone is present." Goldie informed.

"Your father and cyborg arrived not long before you did. All of the leaders and their respective bodyguards are inside." Platinum flexed while dabbing.

The gates opened, creaking inwards as the bouncers stepped aside.

"Okay. Nice to see you all again." Issei waved as he headed inside.

The rest of the ORC followed him, most of their gazes lingered onto the metallic machos until they're out of sight.

"Do enjoy the party."

oXo

"Alright, Gasper. You stay put here, okay? Rover and Black will also stay to keep you company." Issei instructed as he knelt before the Dhampir sitting in his cardboard box.

"Here's some entertainment in case you get bored." Koneko dropped an arm-full of bags of chips, cookies, candies, and even games.

"Okay!" Gasper could definitely stay put and not do anything in his tiny box.

Issei then turned to the monsters, "Alright, you two. You know what to do, right?"

Rover barked in affirmative, while Black simply waved his hand from the sofa he was lazing on, "Yeah, yeah. Guard boy-girl like he's the Hope Diamond. Still don't think anyone's gonna come after him."

Everyone then stared at the dwarf creature, who noticed their stares and immediately recalled what we just said, "...I'm sorry in advance if I somehow jinxed us, but come on! How many people even know about this wimp?"

Black pointed out with a thumb pointed at the cardboard box.

"How many know about Gasper?" Issei asked Rias.

"Well…" Rias tapped her chin. "The Four Devil Kings, Sona, and… hmmm. I never thought about that. There are not that many now that I think about it."

"Is it just me or do you have a bad habit of not thinking things through?" Black asked, staring at Rias.

"I think things through enough, thank you very much. It would help a lot if a certain someone also helps taking care of my base." Rias retorted with a pout.

"I would rather not be someone's crutch. It sounds like a terrible existence." Issei unknowingly burned Rias hard with that comeback.

"Rude." Rias turned her pouty glare to Issei, "But anyway, Gasper should be safe here, not to mention with you two around. Let's just focus on keeping the Conference… Peaceful."

"I still bet a thousand yen that a Devil will crash the party though." Issei smirked a little.

"Har, har. I don't think anyone would try with this much security." Rias dismissed. "Anyways, let us just go to the meeting room."

The group then left Gasper and the two monsters alone in the clubroom, trekking their way towards the Conference Venue in the larger room at the new school building. As they walked through the corridors, Issei could not help but casted quick glances at the army of winged-people floating in the evening sky.

It was not hard to imagine how World War III could ignite if one of the three factions made a brazen spark.

Eventually, they made it to the Conference venue as Rias knocked on the door.

The door opened, revealing the wife of Sirzechs smiling at them.

"Welcome, Lady Rias Gremory, and her peerage." Grayfia politely greeted as she stepped aside, allowing everyone to enter.

"Lord Issei Hyoudou, Ms. Asia Argento, Ms. Xenovia Quarta and Ms. Irina Shidou." The maid also nodded politely at the humans tagging along.

Issei then scanned the entire room.

On the large round table, sat the leaders of the Three Factions - the devils were represented by Sirzechs Lucifer and Serafall Leviathan; Archangel Michael and his sister, Gabriel, represented the angels of heaven; and between them was Azazel, representing fallen angels and Grigori.

Around the table, on each corner - Dulio Gesualdo was sitting on a chair behind Michael and Gabriel, Vali and Tobio were stationed behind Azazel, while the Student Council had arrived before and were stationed behind Serafall.

Across Azazel, serving as mediator of the Conference, were… no, was. There was only Genos. No, wait Ophis was sitting next to him, only her head poking above the table due to her size.

"Where is dad?" Issei asked, looking around the room for the shiny head.

"He is in the restroom." Genos answered.

"...Really?" Issei quirked a brow.

"He ate a lot of beans on the way here. It was a buffet sale."

The others stared at Genos, unable to process Saitama's train of logic, going to the bathroom just when the peace conference was about to start…

"Of course he'd go for it. Frickin' bargain sale maniac…" Issei was not sure whether he should be disappointed or laugh at the obvious.

Sirzechs simply laughed lightly at the banter, along with the other leaders.

"Saitama aside, I think we are civil enough to not rely on some guy in a hero costume to set us straight. Isn't that right?" Azazel asked the others.

The other leaders voiced their silent agreement. Meanwhile, Issei's eyes landed on the other escorts; Vali gave a knowing smirk while Tobio nodded at him. Dulio himself was waving at him. Soon, when Issei had made his way behind Genos, Saitama made himself known as he returned to the room.

"Whew… Sorry for the wait." Saitama apologized. However, his appearance caused Issei to look.

"...Are you seriously wearing that thing for this… talk?" Issei pointed at his father's signature yellow suit.

"I always wear this when I work." Saitama said as if the sky was blue. Saitama's words garnered blanched stares from the others. Ravel whispered to Irina, pointing at the baldy. Irina just replied that she would get used to it.

"...Not to mention, whenever I thought of trying something new - Genos, Azazel and your mother would always tell me that this suit screams more 'me', apparently." Saitama added.

Issei turned towards the others for their reactions - Genos remained stoic as ever, while Azazel only shrugged knowingly with that damnable smirk of his.

"Now, now, let's just put aside Saitama's choice of wardrobe for now, and begin this conference, shall we? The fate of the Three Factions will not wait forever to decide itself."

Azazel's remark instantly shifted the atmosphere in the room, as the leaders were ready to discuss their future.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

A furious roar echoed in the ruins of Mount Olympus, stone and rubble still falling after the mountain fell back into the crater it was ripped from.

Gods and Divine Beings, Primordials, Furies, Spartans, Reapers, all laid strewn across the battlefield; all fell by the hand of one mortal that ended up in the wrong place against his will.

The human roared as he unleashed his fury upon the others.

Indra and his cabal of Devas intercepted the human just before he could finish off the triumvirate of Olympus, but more than half of them laid amongst the bodies, still breathing, while Indra weathered the human's raging assault.

It was the first time that he felt his defenses crumble in such a manner as the human pushed him back further and further, his strikes penetrating his guard and vitals as blood dripped from his chin.

Yet Indra smiled. It was the first time he felt his blood boil in such a fight, even if he was being overwhelmed.

At this moment, the human was the perfect avatar of wrath, something that would put even the most ferocious of the Ashuras to shame.

The other Devas and the remaining body-able Olympian Gods watched as the human engulfed the Sakra in a maelstrom, a storm of his fury made manifest through every sequence, carved into existence from the continuing gestalt of his martial-art techniques.

"Now!" Indra shouted.

Suddenly, a box of barriers facing five of six directions encased the two combatants.

The human ceased his assault as he looked around, seeing that he was trapped.

However, before the human could act, Indra dove in and wrapped his arms around the human in a bear hug, squeezing the human that flipped Mount Olympus in his grasp, staring at the human's wrathfully sharp gaze through his messy greenish brown hair.

"Sorry, but you're going to have to bear this with me." Indra smiled even as he felt every muscle in his being strain against the human.

"Let…. GO…!" The human roared as he gripped Indra's pectorals. Indra winced as his fingers pierced through his skin, tore through his muscle and pinched his bones.

The other Hindu Gods started chanting as Divine runes and magics started to weave around the box.

Seeing that Indra refused to release his hold, the human's eyes glowed red as he broke free, and dislocated Indra's arms from his shoulders.

Indra knew the man was holding back considerably; the man would not kill if he had to. There was a small tinge of guilt for abusing his humanity like this, but it was necessary.

For the sake of the world, it must be done.

However, he did not expect the repercussions to be this severe.

Immediately, Indra felt multiple penetrations throughout his body, blood flowing from his meridian's focal points as the man spun, pivouetting with gathering momentum before he spiraled both of his hands, his wrists twisting with boosted momentum, energy swirling like drills around his hands as they struck through his core.

Once it made contact through Indra's solar plexus, the Sakra felt a new kind of agony - one birthed from every blood vessel in his body ruptured as his eyes and ears bled, blood spraying all over the terrain around them turned to dust at the speed of an explosion, already reaching the magical barriers and beyond as the wards shattered like brittle glass.

The Devas were shocked, mortified that Indra was in such a state, even more when the Sakra fell on his knees into the fine powder as the rubble continued to rain.

Then…

oXo

"Gahk!"

The God of War, Storms and Rainfall woke up, blood spilling through his teeth as he lurched forward.

"Easy there..."

They sat in a chamber, Sun Wukong right behind Indra, incense burning around them with the monkey king placing his palm on Indra's back, where several thin needles were pinning the damaged meridian points.

Indra continued coughing blood as his… condition spiked.

"Ack… still no progress on my recovery?" Indra asked with a slightly hoarse voice.

"You know that I cannot cancel out whatever he did to you. If I try, I could make it even worse." The Monkey King calmly replied as he prepared another needle, infusing it with his own chakra.

"Then I will continue to endure until it dies."

The human unleashed a devastating attack that shook his very aura into perpetual chaos. His own Ki was currently destroying his body from the inside out.

…And that was just half of the necessary meridian points needed to make it permanent.

Sun Wukong continued to regulate the Sakra's internal energies with the application of accupuncture mixed with his Senjutsu, as the Sakra continued to reminisce about the battle that nearly decided the fate of a pantheon.

The mortal was originally sent there to die… but instead, he nearly consigned the Greek Pantheon there to utter ruin. So much strength and potential wandering the world, who knew what waves he could bring if he were to step into the supernatural world instead of focusing on his aimless journey.

Indra then perked his head - standing at the entrance framed by sacred jade was…

"Shiva…"

The boy that stared at him with sharp eyes of bottomless divinity.

"...I suppose you are still against me sending him away. Did you like him that much? You only met him for a short time." Indra spoke out.

"It's an investment worth spending on. His talent is the finest I've seen, above even that of Cao Cao of yours, the wielder of the god-killing spear." The God of Destruction argued.

"His talent nearly led him to take down a pantheon. He is the epitome of human evolution, Cao Cao's ideal human, someone he cannot reach. You don't see a human tearing a mountain from its roots and throwing it to the heavens every now and then-nnngh….!" Sakra reminded, wincing slightly as his small movement ended up aggravating some of his sore spots.

"...Is this really the right move for us?" Shiva asked with uncertainty.

"You still helped in sealing him away at the last moment, didn't you?" Sakra looked up, blood still leaking his lips.

"It was not easy." Shiva showed him his arm as he unrolled his sleeve.

There were some bruises, scars that traveled across his pale skin from his fingers to his elbow.

"...Why did you keep the scars?"

"The scars are my penance."

"Heh… I did not think you were that kind of person… But still, there is no other way. You did not seal him yourself if you found another way."

"But sending him to them…"

"Will give us the cards we need. We cannot fight it on our terms, it won't come to us like that no matter what… so we must prepare to do so on its terms."

The God of War and God of Destruction locked gazes, both refusing to budge on the matter of their actions in condemning an innocent man to a cruel fate.

"I still don't trust it. We can foresee the future, but not its actions. We are blind to it as much as I hate it. His pawns…"

"It will come in due time. We just need patience… and faith… and what about Hades? Has he agreed to join us?" Indra asked.

"...He did. The Greek God of Underworld is more amiable after his defeat."

"Heh…. Ironically, it is his fault for escalating the chaos into losing their home. Just because someone threw him into his realm out of spite," Sakra chuckled, nearly coughing blood again.

"For now, we wait for it to make its move in this grand chess of ours. The next wave will soon arrive… and lead us to the next card."

Omake

"Whew… Good work for tonight as well, everyone! Make sure to be careful on the way home!"

Mary Sapphire gave her goodnights to her comrades after a long-hours work in the diner as usual. Currently - Catherine, Amanda and Zama were on their way back to the Hyoudou Residence.

"You know, lately, more devils, fallen angels and even angels visited our diner." Amanda commented.

"Yes, with the number of the devils being the most and angels being the least." Zama nodded, "This… Conference is really happening, isn't it?"

"It is, but regardless of the outcome, we still need to keep our guard up. Periods like this are also a perfect chance for people like Kokabiel to spark another Great War; when armies of each faction are congregating in one place." Catherine gave her two-cents as they entered the estate of the Hyoudou Residence.

It was already late at night; their new master - Issei and the other residents were most likely already sleeping. Going through the front door with the spare key given to them, the three former holy maidens made sure to keep as quiet as possible.

They were about to go up the stairs towards the upper floor where their bedrooms were, when they heard a noise coming from the dining room. Sharing glances, the trio decided to give a quick check, only to find the noise actually came from the kitchen at the end of the dining room, in which the light was on inside the dark space.

They slowly closed in towards the kitchen's slightly ajar door, wondering who was loitering inside so late at night. It was when they were within a few meters away that they could make out the sound.

The first noise they recognized belonged to Haruka, the woman was, for some reason, breathing heavily, grunting, giggling, and…. Moaning?

The other noise was more concerning, because they did not recognize the owner of the voice - it was neither from Issei, Genos, or even Black.

"No - Hey, quit it!"

Haruka then sounded like she was struggling; Catherine, Zama and Amanda became filled with worry, as they shared glances and nods, unwilling to chance the possibility of the matriarch being assaulted by some stranger.

The trio then marched through the door, "Madam, are you alri-!?"

Catherine's words died in her throat, as the other two also froze on their tracks upon the sight that greeted them in the kitchen.

Some condiments, sauce and syrups were split across the floor. However, their eyes were drawn to the sight of two individuals on the kitchen table - naked as the day as they were born.

Haruka was sitting on the edge of the table - her legs were spread wide open with a man pressing his muscular frame against hers.

To be precise, the man's shining bald head was pressing against Haruka's torso, where what appeared to be a chocolate syrup was spread on her skin. The man paused with his mouth pressed against a chocolate-covered spot, with his eyes wide towards the intruders.

Haruka herself was flushed, her face was in a state of euphoria.

"...Oh, my." Haruka only remarked when her mind finally registered the newcomers, who were gradually becoming a stuttering mess.

The man - Saitama quickly broke away from his wife, fumbling around as he tried to find anything that could cover both his and his wife's modesty, "...I thought the kids were asleep! Wait, who are they?!"

"I-I- We're- we…" Catherine could not find the correct words. Both Amanda and Zama were no better, as they were covering their eyes with their hands, yet their eyes were peeking through the opening between their fingers.

That was an eventful night where Saitama learned that his son's… friend group might be bigger than he had initially thought.

Whew, that was fun. XD