One Piece: I am Monkey D. Luffy

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East Blue 

Somewhere in the middle of the sea 

"Wait, let me get this straight. We're after this guy named Boga who has the map we were going to steal, right?", Luffy asks, trying to understand the situation. 

"His name is Buggy, but yes, that's right", Nami says while adjusting the sail. 

"But we don't know where he is, do we?" 

"That's right." 

"So how are we supposed to find this Boga guy?" 

"It's Buggy, Luffy, his name is Buggy." 

"Yeah, Boga." 

"Sigh... why do I even try?", Nami says, giving up on correcting Luffy. 

"Well, to find that clown, we're going to use the good old trick of gathering information." 

"We're going to stop at the next island to resupply, and while we're at it, we'll gather some intel too, and then we'll set off." 

"Works for me, Tangerine", Luffy says, already covering his face with his hat, ready to take a nap. 

"What the Captain said", Zoro says, sipping from a sake bottle. 

=Scene Break= 

When they arrive on the island, they start wandering around the town before buying the supplies they needed. 

More than once, Nami and Luffy had to correct Zoro's path because he got lost while walking in a straight line. 

As they walked, they overheard a conversation between two marines. 

"What happened that you didn't show up for the negotiation with that pirate Buggy yesterday?", one of the marines asks. 

"I caught a terrible cold, only got better this morning. But how did the negotiation go? Did the Captain close the deal?" 

"The Captain closed the deal, but that damn Buggy had the nerve to send a subordinate instead of coming to negotiate personally." 

"He must think he's something special, huh? He knows the only reason he hasn't been hunted down and arrested is because we're covering for him, right?" 

"I don't know, man. I've only heard rumors that he ate one of those legendary Akuma no Mi, and he must be pretty confident in the fruit's power to think he doesn't need to show up personally." 

"And the Captain? What was his reaction to this disrespect?" 

"He didn't show much at the time, but he was clearly pissed off." 

"Not surprising. So that's why the Captain didn't come to the base today?" 

"Yeah, he said yesterday that he needed to cool off and decided to take a few days off." 

After hearing enough of the conversation, Nami pulls her two companions into an alley and says, "Alright, it looks like we'll need to interrogate this Captain to find out Buggy's location." 

"Why don't we just interrogate those two? They seem to be involved in this scheme too", Zoro suggests. 

"Because their information might be incomplete or wrong. It's better to aim for the head of the operation so we can get more complete and accurate information." 

"Okay, but don't we just need the name of the island where this Buggy is?", Zoro asks, trying to understand the reasoning. 

"Yeah, but who knows what other useful information we might get if we go after this Captain", Nami says, already thinking of a plan. 

"Everything's cool, guys. So we just need to find out where this Captain lives since he's on leave, then we invade the place and politely ask him everything he knows about this Boga, right?", Luffy asks, feeling smart for thinking of this on his own. 

"It's not that simple, cutie. Even though it's not the Marine base on the island, it must be full of guards, and they might call for reinforcements from the base", Nami says, stroking Luffy's hair. 

"Relax, Tangerine, we'll handle it", Luffy says with a grin. 

"Still, I'd rather play it safe. So, Luffy, you cause a distraction at the Marine base to keep them occupied while Zoro and I invade the Captain's house and interrogate him. Just do that thing where you knock people out with a glance. Can you do that?", Nami asks, explaining her plan. 

"Sure thing. These marines are about to get my best Karen impression before I use Conqueror's Haki", Luffy says, his mind buzzing with ideas on how to cause chaos at the Marine base. 

"What's Conqueror's Haki?", Zoro asks, intrigued. 

"I'll explain later", Luffy says, noticing that both Zoro and Nami are interested. 

"Alright, the plan's set. We just need to find out where this Captain lives, and then we can put it into action", Nami says before they start heading out. 

An hour later, they had already discovered where the Marine Captain lived and observed the activity around the house during that time. 

"Alright, now we just wait for nightfall and then we start", Nami says, watching the activity at the house through binoculars. 

=Scene Break= 

The day had been quiet for this Marine base. Well, quiet until nightfall. At 8:00 PM, Luffy enters the base's reception dressed as an elderly lady, complete with a hunched back. 

Modulating his vocal cords to make his voice sound like that of an irritating old woman, he repeatedly presses a bell and says, "This is outrageous, and I want to speak to the manager." 

"Ma'am, this is a Marine base, not a commercial establishment. If you have a complaint to make, just tell me, and I'll direct you to someone who can resolve your issue," a receptionist explains. 

Not paying a bit of attention to what the woman just said, Luffy continues his act, "I don't care what you say, girl. I know my rights, and I want to speak to your boss. I have a complaint and a demand to make." 

"I'm afraid that won't be possible, ma'am. The Captain in charge of this base is on leave today. If you tell me what the problem is, I can see if there's a way to resolve it." 

"Alright, girl, the problem is my neighbor. He makes noise all night, every night, and I can't sleep properly. Every night he brings the same woman to his house, and they keep having sex all night long, and oh my god, how that woman moans and screams. The only reason I can think of for her moaning like that is my neighbor having a mile-long dick, and those are screams of pain because it's hurting", Luffy rambles without a shred of shame, unlike the receptionist, who was blushing with embarrassment. 

"Here's the thing: I decided to put a stop to this nonsense, so I started investigating this woman and my neighbor to see if there was a way to make them stop making so much noise. In the end, I found out that the woman had a husband, and he was a marine, so I want to talk to your boss to get this marine fired. That way, maybe with him being home, that slut and my neighbor won't bother me anymore", Luffy says, giving the dumbest excuse he could think of. 

"Hmmm, I don't... I'll call the highest-ranking officer present at the base right now, and then you can deal with him." 

"And make sure to call the cuckold too. I've got a few choice words for him. I think his name is Smith." 

After a while, the receptionist returns with two men in tow. 

"Good evening, ma'am—", one of the men greets Luffy, not knowing his name yet. 

"Ah, nice to meet you, my name's Valesca", Luffy introduces himself with a fake name. 

"Well, my name is Bruno, and I'm a Commander, and this is Lieutenant Commander Smith. I heard from our dear Clara here that you had some matters to discuss with us." 

"I do, indeed, young Uno. I want you to fire this guy Smith. As I told this girl, this Smith's wife keeps cheating on him with my neighbor, and they keep moaning really loudly every night, every day, and I can't sleep because of it. So with him being fired and staying home, she won't be able to come over to my neighbor's to have wild sex", by pure coincidence, there actually was a marine named Smith. 

Even more coincidentally, this marine also had a wife. "Wait, wait, is this old woman saying my wife is cheating on me? Impossible, she loves me." 

"Calm down, Smith. I know it's surprising to get this news, but that's no reason to call this old woman an old woman", Commander Bruno says, reprimanding him. 

"She might love you, but it doesn't change the fact that she's riding my neighbor's dick." 

"You know what, let's clear this up. She's arriving soon with my dinner. Let's see what she has to say." 

"Smith, are you sure you want to do this here? Wouldn't it be better to do this in a more private place?", Commander Bruno says, trying to talk some sense into the man. 

"No, I'm fine with people knowing that I was cheated on. I want to clear this up now." 

They then began to wait for the long-awaited arrival of the woman, and as time passed, everyone at the base showed up to witness the gossip firsthand. Apparently, someone spread the word. 

When she arrives, Smith doesn't even give her time to ask what's going on. "Are you cheating on me, Elena?" 

"What—" 

"You know what's worse? I found out from your lover's neighbor", Smith says, interrupting her. 

"Wait, how does this old woman know, considering that Captain Jordan lives in a mansion without neighbors?", she accidentally reveals, looking at Luffy. 

"Wait, you're cheating on me with the base captain?", Smith says indignantly. 

Luffy then straightens up, letting his normal voice slip out instead of the modulated one, "Whoa, I didn't see that coming. Actually, I didn't expect a lot of things... who would've thought my made-up story would turn out to be real?" 

At that moment, a marine runs in shouting, "Captain Jordan's house is under attack! They've requested reinforcements!" 

And the only thing anyone managed to say before a wave of Conqueror's Haki knocked everyone out was, "What the hell?" 

"Well, I'd say I did a pretty good job", Luffy says before heading to the agreed meeting point. 

=Scene Break= 

Meanwhile, Nami and Zoro had directly invaded the house without even trying to sneak in because Nami was sure Zoro would mess it up if they tried. 

After a bit of fighting with the guards, they reach the Captain, who attacks them as soon as he sees them. 

But again, this guy was on the same level as Morgan, so it was an easy fight for Zoro. 

After immobilizing him, Nami starts the interrogation, "Alright, let's make this easy for both of us. We know about your deal with Buggy, so you're going to tell us everything you have on him, got it?" 

"Screw you, girl. I'm not telling you anything." 

"Wow, I didn't know you were so loyal to a pirate", Nami says, trying to provoke him into talking. 

Seeing that, he started to reflect, and Nami continued, "So, you're saying your life is worth less than any information you have on a pirate." 

"The hell with that, my life isn't worth less! Fine, I'll tell you." 

"I knew we'd come to an understanding", Nami says with a smile. 

"Buggy's using Orange Town as his base, which is on one of the islands here in the Organ Islands archipelago. He also ate an Akuma no Mi, the Bara Bara no Mi, and became a Chop-Chop human. He can split his body into pieces at will, making him immune to slashing attacks and stuff like that." 

"That's it?", Nami asks, disappointed. 

"What more do you want? I might be doing business with Buggy, but he's not that interesting to dig deeper." 

"Great, so we went through all this trouble to get information that anyone else involved in this scheme could have given us", Zoro says, mocking the useless effort they made. 

"Ugh, shut up, vomit hair", Nami says, irritated. 

"Shut up yourself, red-haired witch", Zoro retorts. 

They then knock out the Captain and head toward the meeting point they had agreed on earlier. 

When they arrive and spot Luffy already waiting, Nami runs over and hugs him tightly. 

"What's this for, Tangerine?", Luffy asks, hugging her back because he likes hugs, and hugs are always welcome. 

"Hugging my stress relief object", Nami says, still holding him firmly. 

"Oh, okay. So, did you guys get what we wanted?", Luffy asks, curious. 

"Well, it didn't go exactly as we expected, but we did. Buggy is a few hours away, occupying an island in this archipelago." 

"Alright then, let's set sail and go give this Boga a beating", Luffy says excitedly. 

Since they had already bought everything they needed before all this trouble, they just set off toward Buggy's location. 

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(AN: 2,120 Words)

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