Chapter 28
The feeling of
What did I do to make her like me so much?
They treated her way better than I did. I was just one person, but there were over ten of them.
Like a school of fish swimming against the current, my quiet world was overturned.
Even though she realized I didn’t understand at all, Eciel ignored that and took my hand, leading me on.
“It’s really okay. Nathan can’t even hold hands with Claire, but I’m holding hands with you.”
“… since before we were born, you’ve been holding my hand.”
“Really? How do you know?”
“I remember.”
Eciel turned to me with astonished eyes. I blinked and spoke.
“… it’s something I shouldn’t remember in the first place.”
“No, it’s okay. Claire only told me.”
We walked home, sharing such words. We never went back to Nathan’s villa again.
But power could be wielded even in invisible places; such was the way of power.
Among the children in this village, Nathan’s power was comparable to an Emperor’s.
Besides, the Emperor was far away. However, Nathan was nearby.
For a while, things seemed to be going smoothly, but eventually Nathan’s power even took over Eciel’s remaining friends.
So, it got worse.
Though it was I who angered Nathan, it was Eciel who suffered direct harm.
What he hadn’t expected was that even without friends, Eciel was quite capable of enjoying herself.
Having moved frequently and knowing no one but me, Eciel didn’t care whether she had friends or not.
“I’m fine with just Claire. She’s been with me since before I was born.”
Upon hearing that, Nathan changed tactics.
From then on, Eciel always insisted on taking me along when going outside, for trivial errands or personal matters, anything.
She even insisted on taking me to the meadow just to read books.
This was a time of silence when we had a huge fight; Eciel didn’t speak to me for a week.
Only after we barely reconciled and went out together did I learn the reason.
It was because of a rumor that had spread throughout the village.
That I was a devil’s child from hell, melting away when exposed to sunlight.
Dyed hair, seemingly reddish-purple irises, and deathly pale skin. My severely lacking social skills and empathy.
Most of all… an expressionless face that neither smiled nor cried.
‘Hmm. Quite a convincing story,’ I initially brushed it off lightly.
Since there were people who had seen me perfectly fine in the sunlight, the rumor seemed to fade somewhat.
However, the rumor soon turned even more malicious and swept through the village like wildfire.
Now not only the children believed the rumors but almost all the adults in the village regarded me as a disaster.
Once adults started looking at me that way, I couldn’t go outside anymore.
The local bakery that always gave Eciel plenty of treats closed when I went with her, and the bookstore guy who greeted me everyday held a broom and sacred item whenever I went in, anxiously waiting for when I would leave.
How on earth did the rumors spread?
Eciel, who was considered pitiful as a child whose place was stolen by the devil, was more tolerated.
The villagers didn’t openly reject me.
But my mother was branded a witch who had an affair with the devil.
“A witch…”
“Devil’s magic potion…”
“Our children said…”
Countless suspicions, disdain, and gossip. Endless groundless rumors.
Mother’s magic potion was poured out by everyone in the village, and the village chief even threatened to take my mother and me to a sacred trial.
And yet, my mother hugged me, saying it was okay.
The day Eciel cried silently.
The day I, as if possessed, finally walked out of the house after weeks.
People who had previously just greeted me now threw stones, cursed, and threw garbage at me.
The wind was suppressed.
In this situation, any action would seem like a devil’s trick.
A servant was waiting at Nathan’s villa door.
He escorted me directly to where Nathan was and opened the door for me.
It wasn’t kindness or sympathy; it was caution, hoping the devil’s child wouldn’t dirty the villa.
If possible, they would have sanctified every spot I stepped on.
He was sitting like a victorious boy king in a plush chair.
Upon seeing him, I immediately asked.
“Why are you doing this?”
I genuinely wanted to know.
Was saying, ‘I don’t want to be friends with you,’ such a grave offense?
Why?
Was this kid really the one who sparked this maddening hostility?
What did I do wrong?
I looked at the child with many questions.
He was the only one in this village who knew that I wasn’t actually a devil except for my family. The boy grinned.
“You haven’t come to your senses yet.”
For a moment, I looked at him in confusion, unable to understand anything.
Ah, I see.
Slowly, I realized that there was no specific reason for the child to do this. And for the first time in my life, I surrendered to illogic and irrationality.
“Sorry, it’s my fault.”
If he asked me to kneel, I could willingly kneel; if he asked me to cut off my hair and offer it, I could do so in an instant.
The cruel weight that crushed perfect reason.
The exponentially growing sense of burden with every moment of life and breath added to the heart.
Nathan grinned broadly at my apology. It was the first time I felt relieved watching someone other than Eciel or Mom smile.
“Then go ahead, cry.”
In the next moment, relief shattered into pieces and my head emptied.
“If you were not a demon but a human, you might cry in a situation like this, don’t you think?”
Could a child who had never walked take a leap? Could an old man who had lived in the desert all his life described the sea? Could a whale swimming in the ocean fly in the sky?
I stared at Nathan with an empty expression. His bright smile remained on his face.
Ah, he already knew I couldn’t cry. He knew I had a
… the realization of a cunningly designed new malice.
That realization broke my heart.
Nathan burst into laughter cheerfully.
As if my pale face was too ridiculous to bear.
He chuckled for a while, then his butler, waiting outside the door, shouted loudly, as if to be heard.
“You demon!”
It was something everyone in the village had said. But why did that one voice stick in my memory?
I was dragged away by the strong servants of that house.
And our family fled the village that night, avoiding the Sacred Trial.
Perhaps from that moment, I became seriously curious about why I was like this, who our father was, what this power was.
No, the word
Desperately, even sacrificing my life, going to the ends of the earth… that might be more appropriate.
I always wanted to know.
Various things I didn’t know, many emotions I didn’t understand, countless feelings I couldn’t grasp.
First of all, I used Eciel’s reaction as a criterion for judgment. I also tried to memorize the various customs and implicit rules of the society that my mother and Eciel talked about, even if I didn’t understand them.
What was I? Why was I born like this? Why was I so strange? The more I understood others, the more painful it became not to understand myself.
Still, even if there really was a conclusion waiting at the end that I was a demon…
I was curious.
And …
One day, Dad appeared.
—
Looking at our attire, Nathan’s face gradually twisted with displeasure as he observed the guards surrounding us.
Was he angry because the kids who had to leave the village like demons were dressed in better attire than him?
Ironically, as I saw that expression, my mind started to clear again.
Dad. What would he have done in this situation?
Nathan asked in an impatient voice.
“What are you?”
I walked forward towards Nathan, facing him with Eciel behind me.
The boy’s harsh eyes narrowed.
What’s going on here? Is she crazy?
Eyes that clearly revealed what this child was thinking.
I raised my hand and undid the ribbon on my bonnet. I expected my fingers to tremble, but surprisingly, they were steady.
Thank goodness.
Silvery hair cascaded down like a curtain.
People who had inadvertently glanced this way suddenly fell silent.
A perfect stillness enveloped the entire first floor. Nathan, not understanding the situation, looked around.
My voice cut through the icy silence.
“Do you know me?”
Nathan let out a nervous laugh.
“What is this… hey?”
“I am Duke Chelsiers’s eldest daughter, Astariol of Judgment, the successor to the Eastern region. I ask again, do you truly know me?”
Nathan’s eyes widened.
He soon forced a smile. His mouth twitched slightly as if he was about to say something crazy.
In that moment, people stood up all at once.
Everyone tapped their foreheads, left shoulders, and hearts with their fingers, invoking a cross.
“My God, Almighty! My God!”
“We humbly meet Astariol of Judgment. We seek your blessings…”
The demigod manifestation in this world. The first miracle that saved humanity. A living sanctity praised by scriptures and temples, more revered than the pope, the head of all temples, by every believer.
This was Astariol.
Nathan’s face slowly paled. Now he understood that this situation was no joke, no nonsense, and there was no way out.