Oh My, I Messed Up the Story

I sat up straight so I could look at Al's face. Dejection was written all over it.

"That's not it. I think you deserve better."

I really, truly did. Al deserved the best possible person for him and it wasn't me.

"Nobody in this world could be better for me than you," he said stubbornly as he stared back. I could practically see his resolve tangibly surround him like a wall.

"Al…"

"I don't expect you to love me; I just want to be near you. Can't I do that?" he pleaded softly before sighing and rubbing his forehead.

"This is why I didn't want to tell you but you just had to trick it out of me. What was the point of that? Satisfying your own curiosity? Weren't things fine the way they were?"

Again, I had no explanation since I wanted to gauge where he was at to figure out what to do about Marcy. Since that was off the table, now what? I could admit where I went wrong.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."

"Well, I can't regret it completely," Al admitted, holding his hand to his head in a way that obscured his eyes. "You wouldn't have kissed me otherwise."

My cheeks flamed and I buried my face in my hands. Could we not have this conversation while I was sitting on his lap? Mentioning the kiss made me think about his lips and how close they were to mine right now.

It would be too easy to kiss him again. What on earth was wrong with me? I was not that kind of girl, okay?!

I tried scooting onto the other side of the couch but he stopped me by holding Burrito Katie tightly. My knees and elbows were bent underneath the blanket so I was truly stuck.

"What are you doing?"

"Holding you hostage."

"Why?" I asked nervously.

"Because I want the truth about how you feel. I'll let you go afterwards," Al said firmly.

His expression was more somber than I had seen it in a very long time. Probably since before I came to the palace.

My heart stuttered. How did I feel? What did I want from Al? What did I want, period?

This novel was a mess and I didn't know if I even had the heart to fix it anymore. So if I disregarded the fact that I was in a novel that should follow the plot, what did I want to do?

The sparkle of my wedding ring under the lamplight caught my attention. It was a sapphire surrounded by a halo of flower-shaped diamonds that had been part of the royal treasury for generations. We were married. I was allowed to kiss him if I wanted to.

My problem was a moral one—is it really okay to kiss somebody you don't have feelings for? Or should it be used as a way to try and grow feelings? Could I abandon my principles and make the best of it like Mariela?

I probably wouldn't find anyone else who felt like a normal person in this world. I knew Al and liked him as a person. He understood me better than just about anyone. I had fun with him. And I wanted him to be happy—what would make him happier than sticking to the original plan of escaping this place and living simple lives together?

Was I crazy? I was actually considering staying married to him even though I was absolutely against arranged marriage!

"It's complicated," I said lamely.

"What's complicated? Either you like me or you don't."

"Of course I like you! Out of everybody here, you're my favorite! But that's as a person, not…"

"Not as a man," Al stated bluntly. He ran a hand through his hair, a bit desperate.

"Is there anything I can do to change that? I did want to woo you properly you know, but I was so afraid you would be snatched away that I had to act fast. I thought I could do it subtly over time but that's out of the question now since you know I don't want to be just a friend."

So he had planned this from the beginning. Marrying me quickly before someone else could and getting me to fall in love with him later once I was stuck. How manipulative.

I wanted to be mad but couldn't muster the energy for it. I quit. It was easier to give into the madness.

I may as well try out being husband and wife to see if I could handle it long term. I was tired of fighting against what was probably inevitable all long.

Maybe somewhere the author of this novel was laughing at me. I tried so hard to make things follow her plan but in the end I became the main character and got the prince's heart. What would it hurt if I tried to give him mine?

"Just kiss me," I blurted before squeezing my eyes shut. Too late for regrets now. It was out.

Al gaped at me in utter shock. He couldn't even form a coherent sentence and stuttered out random words like 'you' and 'what' for a while before giving up. It was kind of cute seeing him so flustered.

I gathered my courage and spoke as nonchalantly as possible.

"I do fully expect you to woo me. I'm a romantic at heart and am not happy I got tricked into this marriage but since I'm here I may as well give you a chance. Last time wasn't terrible so it's probably a good starting point."

How I said all of that with a straight face, I'd never know. I wanted to bury my head in a hole like an ostrich and never come out. The absolute wonder shining on Al's face was the only thing that prevented me from running away screaming in mortification.

It was the happiest I had ever seen him and my heart warmed a bit at the sight. He really loved me. How crazy.

As promised, Al released me and I took the blanket off. It wouldn't do to kiss someone while in a cocoon.

I imagine I didn't look very good in that moment between my messy hair, puffy eyes, and wrinkled outfit but none of that seemed to matter because he gazed at me with an impossibly soft look in his eyes. I practically squeaked in embarrassment but that didn't stop him from moving closer and rubbing a loose curl between his fingers.

He sighed happily. "I'm not dreaming, right?"

"Would you like me to pinch you?"

"I'll pass." Al suddenly reached forward and pulled me back into his lap like I weighed nothing before kissing me fervently.

I officially abandoned the plot of the novel in favor of living my life the way I wanted it. Right now I had no greater priority than enjoying being kissed by my husband. Little did I know, my choice would cause a much greater shift to the story and this world than I ever could have anticipated.