Chapter 67: You've Already Used Up Your Kissing Privileges
After being caught by Duke Orla, I was hesitant to go back outside until I knew he was out of the palace.
I had no idea he was even lurking about but the thought of him being in the same building as me, albeit a very large one, made me uncomfortable.
I had seen a trace of actual emotions on his face when he saw us acting close. He was angry. His feelings for me may have run deeper than I originally anticipated.
It wasn't fair. Back in my world I hadn't managed to attract the interest of a single guy in my entire life but coming here in the beautiful Catherine du Pont's body I was suddenly the most popular girl around.
Al and Duke Orla were the only wild cards. The duke wanted my mind. Al wanted my personality.
I doubted that cold duke could even be moved by something as trite and human as beauty but Al…would he have even looked at me long enough to notice my sense of humor if he had met me as Katie Pullman?
I wasn't hideous but I was plain. Boring. Blended into the background.
Al was a good-looking guy. If we were spotted together in public in my old body, people would surely whisper about how we were mismatched.
I'm not sure why the thought stung. I didn't like Al. I was trying to get a divorce and run far, far away. To go live somewhere in the sun where I could develop tons of freckles and have short hair and be the normal person I always was instead of a princess.
"What's wrong? You're pouting," Al noted as he plopped down on the couch next to me.
I gave him a sad smile. "It's not a big deal."
"Are you worried about the duke? He left this morning; you don't have to worry about running into him for at least a month."
That was nice to hear but it wasn't what I was concerned about at the moment. How had my worries piled into a mountain like this anyway?
I hadn't even been so stressed when I had three bad pain days in a row during finals week one semester in college and failed one of my exams. The reminder of all the things I did have to worry about soured my mood even more.
"That's not it. I have so many things to worry about I can't even keep track of all of them," I complained, burying my face in my arms on top of the arm rest.
"I'm sorry," he said lamely. "My fault again."
"Yeah, it is your fault," I sniffed.
He reached over and hesitantly patted my back.
"I have an idea that might cheer you up. A path has been cleared to the stables. Why don't we go visit the horses for a bit? We won't be able to take them out for a ride until the groundskeepers clear a bit more snow but we could at least go bring them a treat. I'm sure they would be happy to see you."
I peeked out at him. He was smiling at me but the expression was tinged with heartache.
Oh. I made him feel bad again. It was a bit more difficult giving him a hard time about things now that I knew for sure that he loved me.
The last thing I needed was more guilt; it was already eating me alive. How could I still plan to leave him when he looked at me like that?
As much as I hated to admit it, Al was important to me. He had grown on me like a weed.
Yes, he could be annoying and needy but he was also unexpectedly kind and fun to be around. I hadn't felt this close to another person since Abby went away to college.
I didn't want him to be sad but what could I do? I wasn't a part of this story. We weren't even supposed to meet in the first place.
Back home, I read to fill a relational void. Fictional friendships and couples made me happy because I lived vicariously through them.
When I first came here I developed relationships with the du Pont siblings so they wouldn't discover I wasn't their sister. I made friends with Mariela and Marcy originally with the intention to fix the plot.
Al was the only one who sought me out first. How could that not have an impact on me?
"Katie?" He looked at me with a mixture of worry and tenderness. Honestly, I should've noticed sooner. This guy's face was a dead giveaway.
I heaved myself to my feet. "Yeah, let's go."
I had heard of women who remained friends with guys who confessed to them but always wondered how they could do that. Wouldn't it be horribly awkward? How could they act like nothing had changed?
Finally I understood. They did it because they valued the friendship. Just like I did.
I might not be in love with Al but he was the best friend I had made in years. Leaving him would hurt me. I hadn't thought that was possible at first.
What originally seemed like harmless fun with the most normal person in this fantasyland had developed into something real. I would miss him when I was gone, which was terrifying.
How could I leave? But I couldn't stay either!
If I hadn't dropped into this story, Al and Marcy would have been together by now. No matter how much I would miss him, I couldn't steal someone else's soulmate. His feelings were confused because he was lonely.
I tried to shake my thoughts free once we got to the paddock. The least I could do while I was still here was be attentive. My horse, Rapunzel, nickered happily when she saw us approach.
"Hey pretty girl," I cooed as I affectionately rubbed her nose. "It's been too long since I've seen you, huh? We'll have to go for a ride once the paths are cleared up a little."
Al watched my lovefest with my horse with a satisfied expression. "I knew this would make you feel better."
I stopped nuzzling Rapunzel long enough to glance at him. Though there were a lot of things he didn't know about me, I couldn't deny that he understood me on a profound level. I guess it was because of how much time we'd spent together the past few months.
"You're a good guy, Al," I said a bit wistfully.
A good guy that was never mine to begin with. I needed to talk to Marcy and find a way to return him to her.
"...good enough to get another kiss?"
He appeared to be half-joking but that meant he was half-serious. Since he hadn't brought it up for a while I thought I was safe but apparently not. I wasn't sure how to respond to him. This was treading on dangerous ground.
"You've already used up your kissing privileges by going over two minutes," I said lightly after some deliberation. Playing it off as a joke seemed like the best option for now.
"Katie, you're breaking my heart," he joked and pretended to stab himself, enacting a very dramatic death scene where he fell onto a pile of hay and stopped moving.
He looked so ridiculous that I actually snorted. I was right not to take him seriously. Al popped back up grinning though there was the slightest hint of longing in his eyes.