Of All Things, I Became a Crow

*Rainelle’s POV

Pregnancy was an unexpected word. That's why I covered myself with wings and looked at Karmeut's eyes.

"...Are you nervous, Rainelle?"

"...Yeah, a little bit."

At that, he said while patting my back gently,

“Nothing is certain yet. Neither the healer nor the imperial palace physician said they were certain.”

“Still, there is a possibility, that’s why you asked around about it.”

"...Of course."

I felt complicated.

It's not that I don't like children. But I had never thought of having children.

I don't know how to react or what to say when I hear that I might be pregnant without any mental preparation.

Should I be happy? Should I be flustered? Should I be sad, or...

I raised my head blankly at the hand that gently cupped my cheek. Seeing his direct gaze, I just stared, not knowing what to do.

"Calm down."

"..."

"It's not confirmed. That may not be the case."

At those words, I took a deep breath. Then Karmeut said with a gentle smile,

“I will be by your side. No matter what."

"...Karmeut."

"So it's okay. I'm sorry to scare you."

I felt my throbbing heart gradually calm down as the hand patted my back.

“…Sorry, Karmeut. It's not that I don't like being pregnant or doesn’t like children... I'm just, a bit surprised to hear such a thing all of a sudden."

"I understand. I was surprised when I heard it from the healer too."

My heart was a little lighter from of the hand that held mine. He said quietly,

"...I'm sorry I didn't tell you earlier. But I don’t want you to be so startled."

At that, I shook my head. I was well aware that Karmeut wasn't the kind of person who would do it on purpose.

"No, I know Karmeut did it because you are considerate."

"Thank you for your understanding."

"Because I listen to the birds, I could inadvertently overhear. I'm sorry too. I said it like an interrogation."

"Well, I didn't tell you first, so I guess that's not wrong of you," he said, tightening his hand slightly. In response, I spread my wings and gently hugged him.

“...Then, not even the healer(priest) or the imperial family physician can confirm?”

"I think so. I guess it's because Rainelle isn't human."

At that, I nodded my head.

“I am a crow that ate Crobanlock. It might be different from humans. There’s no human that can pull wings off their back like this after all."

Karmeut laughed lightly.

"That's true."

“So that’s why you met Myrdin-nim?”

"Yes, because he is the one who knows the most about the crow that ate Crobanlock."

"What did he say?"

"The number of crows that have eaten Crobanlock is extremely small, and he said that as far as he knows, there are no crows that take human form and have human companions."

"...That means I'm the first."

"As far as we know, yes."

At that, I bit my lower lip. Then, as if telling me not to do that, Karmeut's fingers gently rubbed my lips.

"Let's not worry, okay?"

"...Yes."

"First of all, get a good rest. It's good to rest even if you're just sick, and if you have a child, you have to be extra careful."

I quietly nodded my head. Then Karmeut gently embrace me as if telling me I had done well.

"...Hey, Karmeut."

"Yes?"

"If we have a child..."

I could feel Karmeut's gaze on me.

"...Then, can I be a good mother?"

At those words, Karmeut was silent for a moment.

“...Myrdin-nim said this during our conversation…”

At that, I turned my head and met his gaze. Karmeut smiled kindly and continued,

"Basically, even when someone with preparation has a child, it is always difficult and worrying to welcome a new life."

"...ah......."

"He said that's what it means to welcome a new life. That's why, Rainelle." Saying so, Karmeut held my hands tightly.

"You can worry, but don't be too worried about it. We're a couple. So you don't have to worry about it alone."

At those words, my lips trembled slightly.

"...Un."

All I could do was barely nodding my head.

I was very fortunate. I was relieved, thinking that I was really lucky that my companion was Karmeut.

***

Since I heard from Kamut that I might be pregnant, I haven't had any assignments. He canceled all the tea parties and small parties I had been doing and made me to be as comfortable as possible.

*Fwoosh*

Was it because I left the window open? A pretty bird with blue feathers wrapped around it’s neck like a scarf flew over.

With a plop, it dropped a flower near me, and then it twinkled its pitch black eyes.

Then, as if showing off, it began to dance while singing a song in a pretty voice.

"・・・fufu."

It was like watching a kindergarten's talent show, which made me laugh automatically. Then the bird flapped its wings and cried out loud, then jumped and landed onto my lap.

I gently stroked the bird's cheek with my index finger. Then, it let out a happy cry and twitched its tail feathers, which were so cute.

"It would be nice if I can be surer."

Saying so, I flapped my wings. It was frustrating and disturbing that I couldn't ask anyone, knowing that it was the first time.

“...But will I lay an egg, or give birth to a child?"

This was also a concern. Even if the pregnancy was confirmed, it may be an egg or a child that will come out.

"...if there's something like fetal movement..."

It would be nice if there‘s that…

I muttered and gently touched my stomach with my hand. ...but there was nothing I could feel at my fingertips.

"Do you know?"

I asked a question to the bird that quietly picked its feathers on my lap. Then the bird tilted its head and looked at me with a few sedonds of stare, then it began to pick its feathers again.

"...Well, there's no way you’ll tell me even if you know."

It was only a few days ago that I felt abnormalities. Starting with the magpies, fewer and fewer birds talk to me, and now no one talks to me.

They just watched my surroundings with a sharp gaze, or when they had the slightest idea that I was faced with a threat, they attacked mercilessly.

Those actions resembled the image of a mother protecting her young with all her might.

Is it because of that?

I thought.

Am I really pregnant?

When I thought about it, I touched my stomach once more... But still, nothing was felt on my fingertips, and nothing changed.

I'm always drowsy and sleepy, but so what? I have an appetite too.

I thought so and sighed.

*knock, knock*

"......? Come on in.'

I answered at the knock. Then, as I expected, Karmeut's face appeared.

"Rainelle."

"Karmeut, you are here? Huh?"

But Karmeut was not alone. Surprised, my eyes opened wide.

"...Hempel-nim?"

A crow with grayish feathers sat on Karmeut's shoulder. After cawing a few times in a hoarse voice, he spread his wings and changed into a human form.

"It's been a while, my Queen."

"Hempel-nim, I've told you several times that it's okay not to do that."

Hempel-nim smiled and bent his eyes. I knew that meant that it would never happen, so I sighed inwardly.

“My Queen, I have heard from your companion.”

I winced at the words.

It was after the little bird, which had shown me its dancing and singing, glanced at me and flew past the window,

"Am I allowed to examine Your Majesty’s body?"

"If it's Hempel-nim, of course it's okay.”

At that, Hempel-nim smiled benevolently and thanked me.

...That, I've seen it a few times, but it's burdensome. It really doesn’t sit well with me to see an old man bowing deeply to me.

Either way, Hempel-nim approached me. Then, he looked at me with deep, calm eyes.

...As expected, he resembles Myrdin-nim.

Hempel-nim's gaze resembled Myrdin-nim's. It was calm, wise, yet sparkling eyes that captured the passage of time.

Hempel-nim examined me slowly and painstakingly, touching, squeezing my wrists, and examining the condition of my wings. The touch was very careful and meticulous, so it wasn't unpleasant.

"...Well, what do you think?"

Rather, I became nervous and asked the question. Hempel-nim comforted him with a benevolent face.

"It's an important matter, so we shouldn't make hasty judgments. My Queen, please take it easy."

Saying that, Hempel-nim examined my pupils. Not long after, he nodded slightly and stepped back.

"What do you think?"

As if Karmeut was just as nervous and curious as I was, he asked a question as soon as Hempel-nim stepped back. Hempel looked at me and Karmeut alternately and said,

"I've seen female crows who ate Crobanlock have eggs a few times. And only once, I've seen a female crow in human form with an egg in her stomach."

While saying that, Hempel-nim turned his head to look at me. Then he opened his mouth with a soft, friendly, and benevolent smile.

"Congratulations, my Queen. You have a new life in your belly."

It was like a magic word that instantly cleared up the anxious and worried days that Karmeut and I had from not knowing before.

***