Chapter Number 44: Sorry
Gordon felt his head become light.
Overload.
This was what he felt as he found himself swaying, barely able to keep his eyes open as his vision faded in and out.
'What happened?'
'How did this happen?'
'How could any of this... happen?'
It was too much for him to handle.
Gordon had been bullied.
Beaten half to death.
Saved from his tormentors, and by a young girl no less.
He had watched as the girl sliced off the fingers of the bully, only to slaughter all of them in the end.
He had been bruised and beaten unconscious by a man who was supposed to be a teacher - yet was anything but.
He had witnessed the gory scene of torture which was hidden inside this school, revealing the dark secrets of human society which were hidden behind a mask of political correctness.
He had met with a human experiment who acted as the father of one of his classmates, and watched as this man slaughtered Marcus before his very eyes, only to perform a similar yet ever so different ritual which involved the tearing off of fingers.
He had watched as the girl who saved him from his persecutors was taken away with only the slightest hint as to where she could have been headed.
And even that was barely anything to go off of.
And finally, he had watched as Marcus and Sylvia fell into madness - finally killing each other with smiles on their faces.
And yet all of this happened in the course of five hours.
The time right now was 2 AM.
Since 9:00, all these things had taken place, and it was enough to make Gordon hold his head as the memories played through his mind.
"Huff... huff... huff..."
And now, with two dead bodies on the ground before him, holes in each of their necks, Gordon found himself sitting beside Shane and Stella, who were in no better mental position than him.
"Why... did they kill each other?", Gordon whispered with a squeak, barely able to even get the words out.
He was aware that they would not die even if they were killed.
Gordon knew well that because of what they had become, that they could revive themselves shortly after death.
But he also knew that they experienced the pain which was associated with such a gruesome death.
To kill each other for no reason was unthinkable.
"Were they... giving up?", he whispered. "Did they lose their grip on reality to the point where they thought that by killing themselves... that they could escape?"
"No.", Shane said with a shook yet serious expression as he held in his breath.
With wide eyes that didn't look away from the two bodies for even a moment, the boy stood up as he watched the two on the ground.
"I don't know what they were thinking... but they didn't give up. To me it looked like... they were clinging onto their last thread of hope."
[And a futile one at that.]
It was then that the head of the man looked up to reveal a gaping hole in his neck.
Blood dripped from the hole which slowly closed itself, and the man stood up with a smile as he dusted himself off.
[Hahaha... but this is EXACTLY what he needed. A reason to die. Ah... I suppose you three do not understand.]
It was then that the woman slowly stood up, the hole in her neck healing itself as well.
[Hehe... ah... if only they knew how many times it would take to even obtain a hint at where Two went. But hey, I guess they're free to try. But I'll give you three a hint.]
The whites of their eyes had become blackened, and they both glowed with reddened pupils as the woman spoke.
[It's going to take a whole lot more deaths before they find out where Five is. And the girl will become her host long before that. However, to say that their deaths will be in vain... would be incorrect.]
As the man said this, he fell backwards.
However, despite the fact that he fell backwards, he did not hit the ground.
For in that single calculated motion, a web of tentacles shot out from every exposed piece of flesh on the man's body, creating a hammock of flesh which held him up flawlessly.
Then, closing his eyes, Number Seven spoke.
[It's quite late, don't you think? I for one will be taking a rest. After all... everything is progressing nicely, and with Number Two heading after Number Five... I do not see any reason to rush things any more.]
As the man said this, the woman too shot out a number of fleshy tentacles which latched onto the surrounding buildings and any places where they could gain leverage, at which she too fell into a bed which was a part of herself.
[Yep! Night, Seven! It's been a long time since we've actually been able to say goodnight to one another, hasn't it?]
With an excited smile, the woman looked over to the man, to which he grinned ever so slightly as he kept his eyes closed.
[Indeed... it has.]
Turning around in his sleep, the man whispered in a nostalgic manner.
[It has been far too long.]
And just like that, the two monsters fell asleep.
Gordon didn't so much as dare approach them, but instead found himself backing away.
"We... should get away.", he whispered to the other two as the three stood up.
Nodding in fearful agreement, Stella stood up as well as the two evacuated.
Yet even as these two walked away, Shane found himself watching the two.
He thinned his eyes, glaring directly at them.
And then, with a whisper, Shane spoke under his breath as he too stood up.
"I'm sorry."
Turning his back to the two as he followed the others, Shane was the only one who had the courage to do such a thing.
Was it out of stupidity?
No.
It was because Shane knew that being on his guard against those monsters meant nothing.
"I'm sorry that I couldn't save you at that time, sister. And I'm sorry that I can't save you again."
Biting his lip so hard that blood formed, Shane walked away with a darkened expression as he clenched his fist.
"And I'm sorry that I couldn't even get you to recognize the situation that you're in."
Wiping the blood from his chin, the boy spoke with lament and anger in his tone as the creature known as Number Seven opened one eye which glanced over to the boy.
"But most importantly... I'm sorry that I couldn't even act like your older brother when you needed me to."
----
None of them could sleep.
It was late.
2 AM in the morning.
Without doubt, the three were tired. Exhausted even.
Who wouldn't be exhausted after such a day?
However even despite their exhaustion, unrest filled the minds of the three as they shifted themselves back and forth.
Currently, they were laid across the couches in the teachers lounge.
The fact that the room just below them had been used as a torture grounds was of no concern, for their minds were not focused on such a thing.
Yet even so, they could not sleep.
"She... was such a good girl.", Shane said, not turning to the others as he laid facing the back of the couch.
The other two twitched up as the boy said this, not turning themselves either to face one another.
Perhaps they were too terrified to even do that much.
"She was innocent... sweet... joyful... considerate... kind... she was so many things. Our dad... was so proud of her. And I was so proud to be her older brother."
Without so much as asking for a response, Shane spoke to the two.
However neither of them interrupted, nor did they feel any annoyance at his outburst.
"And even when she changed... I was a fool to forget that she was still my little sister. I wonder... what would dad think if he saw her right now?"
The boy began to choke up, emotion overcoming his words as he spoke.
"He..."
Holding his hand to his mouth, the boy stopped speaking for a moment before he continued.
"He would probably take the blame on himself."
Clenching a fist, Shane closed his eyes in torment.
"He wouldn't say that I failed as an older brother. He would say that he failed as a father... for not being here in the first place. That's... the type of person he was."
"And that was the type of person who died?", Gordon asked timidly.
"That... is the type of person who died. And yet... we are still here.", Shane responded.
Silence overcame the room.
Not a thing was said, and minutes passed.
However as the time passed, none of the three could find themselves falling asleep, and Gordon found himself speaking.
"I... hated my parents.", he said as if making a confession.
Not facing the other three, he continued to speak slowly.
"I hated my dad. I hated him... the way he looked at me... the way he treated me... the way he USED me... and the way he threw me away... I hated everything. But even more than my dad... I hated my mother."
Taking in a deep breath, the boy continued as the other two listened.
"She married my father for the money. As soon as I was born, she left him and she left me with him. It was all a plot so that she could blackmail him. So they came to an agreement."
Holding his hand to his face, the boy rustled his hand through his long hair as he squinted with a pained expression.
"They agreed that he would give her the money and that she would fuck off."
Not a word was said, just as it had been when Shane told his story.
The others merely listened quietly, allowing the boy to vent his emotions.
"My father didn't want to deal with a lawsuit and allegations. He said that my mother was such a burden and that if she filed a lawsuit he would have wasted more time and money to achieve the same end. So he threw the cash at her and she shut up."
"Did you... ever meet her?", Stella asked quietly.
"Did I ever meet her?", Gordon repeated.
And then, he laughed with tears in his eyes.
"Hah... as if she cared enough to ever try and meet the son she birthed. I was a tool to her. Just as I was to him. They both considered me to be nothing more than an asset... and when my use had expired, I was THROWN AWAY."
"How... how do you know for certain?", Stella questioned.
Sitting up, Gordon looked at the girl, who was facing away from him as she lay on her own couch.
"What do you mean by that?", he asked.
"How... how do you know that she didn't want you if she never told you with her own mouth?"
The girl said this with great emotion, which stopped Gordon in his tracks as he spoke.
Taken aback, he merely looked at the girl who sat there, staring at the back of her golden hair.
"What... what could you know? She... she didn't even care enough to TELL ME THAT!!"
Holding his hand to his forehead as he shouted, the boy began to pant as he cried out.
"I... this entire world... it's gone... everything has gone to shit... everything is ruined... and yet... and yet... I... I barely even feel like I've lost anything."
It was then that the girl stood up with a furious expression.
Tears lined her eyes as she stomped forward, her golden hair swaying as she brought her hand back.
Slap!
And then, a red hand mark formed on the face of the longhaired boy as he looked up to see the beautiful yet tormented expression of the girl.
"How can you so easily say that she did such a thing without any proof!?", the girl screamed.
It was then that the boy saw it.
The girl's hands were trembling.
She was terrified even to do this much to Gordon.
Perhaps she was fearful that he would yell or hit her back, or perhaps she had simply never done such a thing before, but he could sense the fear masked with a transparent facade of bravery.
"I... that doesn't matter now anyways. Even if by some miracle she loved me... even if by some chance that everything I was ever told was a lie... that doesn't change the fact that she is nothing more than a stranger to me. And if that truly were the case... then that would mean that my father is an even worse piece of garbage than I could imagine."
It was then that the girl fell to the ground on her behind, perhaps out of shock at what she had done.
And then the tears welled up.
"I... I was never loved. My father... my mother... they hated me... they said I was a burden... they said that it would have been better if I were never born in the first place... and that's why they kicked me out..."
The girl broke into tears as she spoke, laying her past before Gordon.
"I was just a waste of space and money... and because of that... I just wanted to be loved. By anyone. It didn't matter who it was.. why it was... I just wanted someone to CARE for me."
Unsure how to react to a crying girl before him, Gordon held out his hands as his eyes widened.
"W-wait just a-"
"That's why... that's why I started living with that man."
Looking up to Gordon with a pained expression, the girl spoke with weakness in her tone.
"Because no matter who he was... if he was using me... no matter what he did, he made me feel that someone NEEDED me."
It was as the girl said this that Gordon felt something.
He felt pity.
But even more than that, he felt pathetic.
Here he was, rambling about his own weaknesses, his own trials, his own sufferings, his own pains, when this girl had experienced just as much pain.
Perhaps even more.
'I thought... she was just a popular girl...'
'A bitch who I could never even hope to speak to...'
'And yet... why does she look so distraught?'
'Why do I feel that I need to... help her?'
It was at that moment that the chaotic smile of the young girl flashed in his mind.
'Ah.'
'Just as she helped me.'
'I... should help others.'
Stiffening his resolve, Gordon spoke with power to the girl.
"So... did you fuck him?"
"No... no... he wasn't using me in that way. Not in that way... he had no interest in that. He only had interest in... observing. Humans. How... how did I not notice that something was off? He... he seemed so different from other people... he almost had no emotions... yet... even so... he was more of a parent to me than anyone I had ever known. And even knowing that he is a monster..."
"You aren't mad at him?"
"I'm... not."
"Then who are you mad at?", Gordon asked with a serious expression.
To which the girl looked up, wiping a tear from her agonized face.
"Myself."
Bringing her face low, the girl then started to cry as she spoke.
"I hated everyone around me... I started to hate them just for having anything... for being loved... for having people in their lives who would give to them... for having wealthy parents who would let them go on vacations... for being able to pick up guys with such a carefree approach... I HATED ALL OF THAT!!"
The girl then began to scream as she grabbed onto the shirt of Gordon, furiously venting at him.
"I HATED THE FACT THAT EVERYONE COULD JUST LIVE THEIR LIVES AS IF I WASN'T IN PAIN!!! I HATED SEEING ANYONE HAPPY AROUND ME!!"
Digging her face into the shirt of the boy, the girl wiped her face as she cried out.
"And so I wanted to steal that happiness from all of them."
It was at that moment that Gordon did something which he never in his life could have imagined himself doing.
He wrapped his hand around the girl and placed it on her back in a gesture of comfort.
"I know.", he said.
"I'm a horrible person... I... I hurt so many people because of how I felt...", the girl whimpered.
"I know.", he repeated.
"I'm a flimsy bitch who tried to steal the very man that my best friend laid eyes on... just so I could see her jealous of me."
"I didn't know that, but I know."
"And I... was punished for that. Or I should have been. But then... this all happened. Maybe this..."
Looking up to Gordon, the girl spoke out weakly.
"Maybe all of this is my punishment?"
Closing his eyes and gritting his teeth, Gordon slowly let go of the girl as he looked down to the side.
"Maybe... it is.", he whispered.
Taking in a deep breath, the boy spoke with lament in his voice.
"Maybe this entire world is this way to punish the corrupted people who are still in it."
----
"Ah... ah! I... I'm sorry... I... I slapped you... I got snot on your shirt... and I leaned on you..."
Scooting back while wiping her face, Stella found herself beet red as she looked away from the boy.
'Ah...'
Gordon found himself taken aback at the entire situation.
'I... said some crazy things, didn't I?'
"It... it's fine. I can wash- well, I suppose I can't exactly wash this shirt anymore."
"Ah... I'm sorry..."
"That's... stop it. Stop apologizing. It... it's throwing me off."
Taking the shirt off, Gordon let out a sigh as he looked away from the girl.
"At any rate... we... we should get some rest."
"Y...yeah. I guess... we should."
Slowly, the two returned to their couches as they laid down once more.
"Are you two finally done fighting?", Shane said without turning his back.
"Ah!! You... you were there as well... sorry for being so loud...", Gordon whispered.
However the boy merely let out a sigh.
"It is what it is. Who wouldn't be pissed in a situation like this? At any rate... you two will help me to find my sister, right?"
With these words, Gordon and Stella were both caught off guard.
"Help you.... to find her?", Gordon whispered. "But... we... no, I can't speak for her... but I'm useless... How could I do such a thing? Even if it was possible.... I wouldn't be the one who could do it. You should rely on someone else."
"That's... that's right.", Stella added. "We're not the type of people who could do something like that.", she agreed.
"Ah. I see. So you two are just going to sit there and do nothing. Let me ask you two this then. You say that you're USELESS. But if you don't even put forth any effort, then I suppose you really are useless."
The cold words of the boy who was even younger than them tore into the two, who felt as if there were holes in their hearts.
"So even if you fail, why don't you try and prove to yourself that you at least did what you could to help?"
As the boy said this, the two widened their eyes.
"Are you telling me... that we don't have to succeed?", Gordon whispered. "That we don't have to be strong... or competent... or-"
"You do have to be all those things. But not at first. You have to become that way. And if you fail a number of times along the way... then that doesn't make you useless. I... I want to save my sister. But I know that I'm useless as well. I'm just as useless... maybe even more useless than you two. In the face of these monsters, there might not be a single person on this planet who is useful. But even so... if I just gave up here and now and said it was all impossible..."
Biting his lip in anguish, the boy spoke in a grieving tone.
"Then even if my father would forgive me... I wouldn't be able to live with myself."
Shifting himself to sit up, the boy then looked with sincerity to the other two.
"Aren't you two the same way?"
----
[Truly... it is interesting. I thought that beauty and heroism was something which was only spoken in myths and legends... a work of fiction. Yet I suppose that I may have been wrong.]
With a grin, Number Seven spoke as he and Number One stood leaning on the door to the teachers lounge.
[Yet this... this is exactly what I was trying to create. A world where the true nature of people... was revealed to all.]
[Hehe...]
Letting out a giggle, Number 1 nodded slightly as she looked to the man beside her.
[It's almost beautiful, isn't it? That such a thing could actually exist... haha... it makes me glad that you didn't destroy this entire world.]
Looking up to the man with eyes of fanaticism, the girl grinned as she twitched with excitement.
[I can't wait to see what other things you want to show me, Seven.]
[Indeed. It is beautiful, is it not? Hah... there is nothing more beautiful than watching as someone is broken down and regenerated over and over... only to be remolded and reformed... broken time and time again, rebuilt time and time again. And to see someone who still forces themselves to stand even amidst such suffering... perhaps that is the most beautiful form of HEROISM.]