Now, You Miss Me.

18.

“I… feel a sense of empathy towards Julie here, lying down.”

There was no need to tell Yulia what had been discussed with the three heirs. Telling Yulia would only be detrimental. The relationship between Yulia and Julie had never been good even once.

The other three heirs wouldn’t find it strange that Serenity was looking for Julie. They knew that Serenity and Julie were close.

“So, I mean, can I come by often to check on Julie?”

Yulia hesitated for a moment. Sensing the possibility of rejection, Serenity threw in a suitable bait.

“…I also want to become closer with Lady Yulia.”

Yulia’s hesitation seemed to vanish instantly at Serenity’s words. She smiled and said,

“…Yes, of course!”

It was fortunate. The fact that Yulia was willing to become closer with Serenity meant there were no restrictions on meeting Julie.

‘I’m definitely not someone who hopes for Julie’s return.’

The way she spoke about Julie, her expression made it clear.

‘Anyway, they’re keeping me alive, but…’

It could be because of the three heirs. They hope for Julie’s return. It seems that I couldn’t kill Julie because of those three.

‘The best plan would be to become close with Yulia.’

Once they become close, if she could manipulate Yulia…

She would be able to completely cut off Julie Lirv’s lifeline.

Of course, it didn’t matter if Yulia was seen as a murderer. In fact, it might be better. She could solve all the troublesome matters with Julie’s death.

* * *

Returning to the mansion, Serenity heard that Dante Odrayen was waiting for her.

He came suddenly without a word. He said he had been waiting for Serenity all day, as if he knew he had done something wrong.

Thinking about Dante spending the whole day in the room, Serenity felt strange. She had never seen Dante waiting for anyone else.

Serenity opened the door.

Inside, Dante, who looked a little unkempt, was sitting. Dante, who had eagerly awaited Serenity’s return, quickly put down the book on the table next to the sofa.

Serenity glanced at the book he had been reading. It was titled “Reasons for Natural Disasters.”

‘Is it related to recent events?’

Suddenly, Codelia’s story came to mind.

Turning her gaze back to Dante, Serenity sat down.

Since she had already revealed her friendship with Julie Lirv, she didn’t need to keep up any pretense or formalities. Instead, she spoke honestly.

“You’re here sooner than I expected.”

Taken aback by her words, Dante asked, “Did you think I would come late?”

At Dante’s words, Serenity nodded her head.

“How much do you know about me to be so sure? I… also…”

Dante, who had been about to continue with his outburst, faltered in his words. It was due to embarrassment. Serenity’s mention of Julie brought up a lot of uncomfortable feelings.

“You didn’t seem to like her that much.”

Serenity finished the sentence for him instead. Dante, as if acknowledging his mistake, rubbed his head as if in self-reproach. Letting out a deep sigh, Dante asked with a gloomy expression,

“…What did Julie say?”

Ironically, as soon as Dante brought up the topic, memories of the times she spent with him flooded back to Serenity.

Dante, who had always wanted recognition for his abilities, knew how much maintaining a good relationship among the heirs affected the seasons and natural disasters, so he tried to talk to Julie, even if only a little.

But Julie didn’t want to confide in him.

To know nothing about each other.

To be able to ignore each other.

That’s all Dante wanted from her.

Dante chewed his lips nervously. Looking at the anxious Dante, Serenity replied,

“Most of it should be in your head.”

Taking a deep breath, Dante bowed his head.

When he spoke again, his voice was much softer.

“…How can I beLirv it?”

“What do you mean?”

“How… can I beLirv that you want Julie to come back alive? There must be something you want to say or do.”

“….”

“If you tell me, I’ll do anything.”

It’s ridiculous.

“You don’t know what to do.”

“I’ve tried my best… What do you mean?”

“You wouldn’t come here to ask if you didn’t know, right? Unless you’re afraid of making the wrong move and hesitating.”

“…”

“If I tell you, will you really do it?”

A smirk appeared on Serenity’s lips.

“I’ve already crossed a river that I can’t go back from anyway.”

“Do you have a reason to go that far?”

Dante clenched his fists. His face contorted.

“I… ”

Dante bit his lip hard. His body was trembling.

‘If it were the old me, would I have thought that this sight was pathetic?’

The image of Dante shouting in the lab came to mind.

“[…You’ve never once shown any interest in me!]”

There was empathy.

The possibility of getting closer.

With a twisted face, Dante muttered as if chewing on his words,

“I understand. I’m the damn bastard.”

Serenity doubted her own ears.

She couldn’t beLirv the words coming from the arrogant Dante’s mouth.

Klazen never lowered himself to this extent.

“…But what am I supposed to do when I still miss her?”

Dante’s voice was unstable. He clenched his fists tightly.

“What am I supposed to do now that I’ve realized it?”

“…”

“How much of a comfort Julie was…”

‘How could someone like her push me away so mercilessly?’

Serenity folded her arms to hide her trembling hands. She didn’t want to show her hesitation.

“Was she a comfort to you?”

It felt like blood would flow from between Dante’s tightly pressed lips.

“From what I heard, not really. It was more like contempt, she said.”

“…”

“Or was it disgust?”

On the day Dante shouted, Julie comforted him. She said she thought she could understand his heart by confessing her personal stories that she had always wanted to hide. Dante had listened silently to Julie’s words.

He thought it was a sign of opening up.

Looking back now, Dante seemed almost insane on that day he shouted. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have stayed quiet when Julie spoke. Normally, he would have stopped her from telling him such things.

“…It was empathy.”

His voice, barely audible, was strained. Dante spoke in the past tense.

“…I realized it too late.”

“…”

“I was scared. Whenever I saw Julie, it felt like I was seeing myself. It made me keep thinking about my own weaknesses.”

“…”

“I didn’t know.”

His fear was the reason for keeping her away.

“Because I didn’t want to see her.”

The reason for avoiding her despite knowing all of Julie’s wounds was simply fear.

Without even knowing what emotions Julie had.

“That’s my reason.”

“…”

“So, please, tell me now.”

“…”

“What you know.”

Serenity pressed her chin. Strands of hair fell forward. The day when the pink that felt so unfamiliar, like flowers placed there, had passed. Now, that color felt the most familiar.

“It seems like you’ve misunderstood something.”

Serenity looked up at the confused Dante.

A bright smile appeared on her lips.

“Just because the wizard mentioned the reason doesn’t mean I fully accept it.”

“…”

“Understanding the reason and accepting it are different, aren’t they?”

“…Then, what do you want me to do? Julie is still dying even as we speak.”

‘Perhaps it’s wiser to just let her die.’

Serenity forcibly swallowed the words that were about to come out of her mouth. She couldn’t lose her rationality here.

“Living comes first. Wherever you are, as long as you’re alive, there’s a chance for life to change.”

“But what if living isn’t really living?”

“…What are you talking about?”

“It might be better to have a life that’s dying.”

“Are you speaking so lightly about someone else’s life?”

“Julie said that.”

‘Does Julie not know why she wanted to die? Is she just considering it a mistake?’

Serenity frowned.

“If Julie comes back, what will change?”

“…”

“And you should show me more precisely how you’ll treat her. Otherwise, I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

Blood trickled between Dante’s lips as he stood silently. He controlled his expression and exhaled. It seemed more composed than before. His previously excited face now looked numb.

“…Really?”

“Are you doubting my words now?”

“To be honest, yes. Right now, you look like someone who doesn’t want Julie to be saved at all. Despite wanting to know about her, it seems like you don’t want her to come back alive.”

Dante seems to be mistaken. Serenity, who doesn’t wish for Julie to come back as soon as possible, isn’t Julie’s friend.

“If you were a true friend, wouldn’t you want her to come back alive? Especially if all three of us – me, the prince of this country, and the wizard – put our efforts together.”

“The reality she’ll face when she returns could be devastating.”

“…”

“Do you even know what kind of life she lived?”

Julie had tried to get to know them. She always tried to figure out what they liked and disliked and always tried to accommodate them. Their reactions crossed between joy and sorrow, heaven and hell.

Serenity decided to ask a question. It was to dispel Dante’s misunderstanding.

“Do you know what Julie’s favorite season is?”