not mine. I just wanted a audiobook

2nd Day of Silver Fall, 936th Year Gwyar's Winter.

It was not that I could not sleep, I suspected that I could do that at will if I had the inclination.

But whether it was do to my new nature, or the time I had spent unconscious, I simply did not feel the need in me.

And time was a valuable thing. Time to think, time to plan.

Going over the past day's events, how I might have ended up where I was.

I could accept my situation with unnatural ease. I acknowledged that in all likelihood it was the work of Chaos as most any event free of explanation was inevitably an ill-omened thing and they were the most hostile party I could think of with the requisite mind.

I could even accept the missing faces of my blood; grandchildren, children and even my my long-dead spouse. Parents, siblings, friends, coworkers and family were an echo at best. More notions that I knew were applicable and loose associations than proper people.

The acceptance of all of it came so easily that it drew attention to itself in turn, as if prodding at the gap where a tooth should have emerged and yet none ever did.

Yet even that curiosity was harder to hold onto than my current circumstances.

I mulled over the world that I had been trapped in, both the planet that I did not have a name for and the larger galaxy. There was always a fitting element to the world that a Primarch was sent to.

But that had its own risks. This was a world where Chaos was a known part of life, an ill-understood specter to be sure but still something better understood than most. That meant that this was a world that could easily fall under threat if the wrong elements of the crusade found it.

By which I meant orbital bombardment.

But if they were the right ones… well Nulls do not grow on trees and neither does the ability to contain chaos outbreaks. A world where Blanks could steadily show up in bloodlines like the sisters and the technology allowed could be priceless if I could sell it right.

Which all begged the single pressing question.

What do I want?

It was a strange thought, I had not had to think about such things for decades and now I had to decide a great deal if I wanted to keep my head above the daemonic water.

And I seemed to be at something of a disadvantage.

By my estimation I was some 310cm in height, monstrously tall to be sure but about average compared to what I knew about the heights of my future peers. I had no way of knowing how I would weigh any other baseline characteristics against them but I could expect that I had some troubling deficiencies compared to the real Primarchs.

That was to say nothing of the greater problems presented by my lack of any of the unique gifts that the others had possessed. I did not possess any intuitive knowledge of everything around me (for the most part), any urge to craft masterworks out of nothing nor did I even know how to fight and I certainly did not feel any newfound insights in strategy or governorship.

That left me with two options, either hope against hope that I was surrounded by enough nulls and blanks to keep the emperor from finding me or I would be left with no choice but to find something to be useful in and to try to acquire some sort of skill before I was found and jeered into oblivion.

Jeering which could easily lead to disdain, which to such a proud brotherhood could lead to... an unsavory demise.

There was a lovely thought to be sure.

A Primarch was brilliant beyond comprehension, making wonders out of scraps that had no place being given such purpose. They were researchers that could outpace civilizations in their projects, logisticians that could allow for galaxy-spanning empires run with supreme efficiency or assassins that could hide from the eyes of gods.

I was comparatively basic coding given infinite processing space, a civilian given in the potential for the greatest of martial prowess. Honestly, it seemed like a waste for someone like myself to wield it.

But that was indulging in self-doubt and shame. Neither were useful tools, I had time in all likelihood before I was found if I ever was and I at least had some potential.

My past life, as distant as it was, had not completely abandoned me. I still recalled the tools needed to navigate people, groups and political apparatuses how to please and how to threaten.

Not enough on its own, not nearly enough, but assets I might find a use for if I was clever. Things that would readily plug into place once I had proper control of my new senses.

Provided I survived long enough to master them.

I needed to focus on something and for the time being I had to worry about preparing for the expedition ahead of me.

Which meant fighting demons.

I had no illusions of avoiding them, I was well-aware that I was the juiciest steak in the world for a demon. Dampened emotions or not, I was still human enough that I would be distracted by the psychic resonance that they gave off although none of my 'brothers' arrogance and self-assurance to fend them off.

I would have to pin my hopes on Morygen for that, I had read a great many books on the world around me but that meant little due to the inconsistencies within. The effectiveness of a blank was one such example, sometimes a random null of minor potency could scare off demons easily enough despite having no training while in others the Emperor's elite super-Blanks could be slain by lesser demons in one tale and in another they could inflict a true cessation of existence onto even the greatest of their numbers.

Narrative freedom, great for a corporation attempting to use several dozen authors to spread the appeal of an ancient franchise. Horrendous at best as an instructional tool whoever was left with only them as a lifeline.

It might be possible to question Morygen after her own experience, although that ran the possibility of being perceived as rude and it struck me as ungrateful. Less charitably, there was the risk the woman might misrepresent her prowess and experience. She did not seem the type though, certainly the story she had told suggested nothing of dishonesty.

My own inhuman senses had also indicated that she was an irregularly dangerous human, but I was not confident enough in them to take my assumptions as facts. Especially against an unknown set of parameters such as Daemons.

When the expedition was over, I could think about moving forwards, while I was lacking to survive in the greater galaxy, I might be able to make a good living in a fairly primitive world.

There was even the vague possibility of managing to reclaim and augment enough of my former skill to at least fake a Primarch's prowess and competence. Their creator was a negligent and practical enough being to spare me in such a scenario and I could at least ward off shame well enough to avoid an executioner's touch, especially if I could find competent enough leaders to take credit from.

A low move, but likely my best wager...

I sighed in the dark, a low grumbling sound that sounded like a distant avalanche.

This is all so ridiculous, I thought with some resignation while shifting my hulking mass enough to try and be comfortable.

I could not fathom what need there was for such a large and exaggerated body, it would be more useful to be as awesome in a less cumbersome form.

An idle thought wondered how grotesquely over-sized my taller siblings would be, or the Size-Shifter of Mankind. The latter being one of the litany of new names I had started to cultivate for my body's creator.

"Can't sleep?" I had heard her getting up of course but she was quiet in the night nonetheless, a good sign for her abilities.

There was hardly that much space in the house, my bulk occupied so much space that much of the furniture had to be pushed up against a wall in order to allow me to sleep on the floor.

"No," I lied. I was wary of inspiring fear or worse confidence beyond my actually ability, it was better to portray myself as being as mundane as possible. "And yourself?"

Morgen snorted softly while she eased herself down to sit next to my head.

"I am not much of a sleeper," she shrugged. "Sorry for Ymer, she's a good girl. But those like us tend to make for quiet children."

Said child was completely asleep on the other hand, her breathing and heartbeat suggesting a deep REM sleep.

Although the use of plural was odd.

I very deliberately arched a brow, she saw me well enough in the moonlight and laughed quietly.

"Yes, even me," she smiled before bringing a callused hand to scratch her chin. "You really got it bad, didn't you?"

That reconfigured my lips into a small smile of my own, "Perhaps a touch."

"I have never gotten that kind of luck myself," she admitted. "I am not sure I could use it myself."

"Why not?" I asked.

"A good enough Treasure and you can move up in the world," she laughed quietly. "At the very least it would mean that I could improve things for her."

She said the last with a nod toward her sister. "I owe her that much, with where I've got her. A good enough treasure and I could find myself moving up the ranks, coin and power."

"Is that so?"

"It's only fair I tell you," she shrugged. "My mother's father was an Oath Master. Second only to a Sect Master in all the senses that matter."

"And you wish to earn a similar renown?" I suggested. Ignorant of the meaning or not, I would have to be dense beyond human to not understand some of the framework of what she was suggesting.

"Yes," she chuckled. "We do not serve kings or republics, we hunt in the depths of the ruins and sell them to those who will pay a fair price. What they do with that is their business. And other Seekers tend to notice when you can find something worth getting those sorts all excited. Better than selling the small stuff."

That sounds chaotic, "I am genuinely surprised that is allowed."

"Well, it does depend on the strength of the ruler," She scratched her cheek. "If a dynasty or council is powerful then they buy everything and if they are weak then their nobles and notables buy and use them against each other."

I frowned at that, both the gut reaction of my body and my own consciousness were of a mind at such a messy arrangement.

"I can see the frown on your face," She smiled in the dark. "You would have liked my father, he also liked the old tenets."

I did not see a need to answer, she understood by then that she would have to explain everything.

"Seeker guilds, both those in our lands and those farther off were founded to try and reclaim the ruins. Founded by the greatest of the heroes to rise from the mud we were all cast into after the catastrophe that gave the Fallen Ones their name," It seemed like she was reciting an old tale from the way her eyes unfocused. "It failed with time though, restoring the world and vanquishing the Conquering Void became providing for their people and then to selling it to survive when the people lost their patience. Thats the way of it with people, you know. You do not see much use in promises of tomorrow when eating for the day and keeping the things in the forests from eating your children matter more tomorrow."

Some bitterness slipped into her tone as she continued her story, "So the Guilds broke down overtime, every country making its own Sect, every Sect caring less and less about some distant Guildmaster. By the Stars and Souls, some Seekers can't really be bothered with what their own Oath Master cares about. We became content to feed the wars for survival rather than strive for something better."

She caught herself when she realized that her tone been raised, "Sorry about that. I always get too whingy, it's unbecoming. Gwyar is a better place than most, its old and deep into winter here."

"I do not mind," I said. It was good to know that my host did not subscribe to such a wasteful attitude. Although I realized that the decline probably had less to do with deliberate harm and more with hard circumstances and people doing what they could to make due.

I also cataloged the name she mentioned, the way she used those words had some deep meaning, I was sure of that.

"Then you are an odd one," she mused. "But I would thank you not to mention it. Outsiders are my dearest customers and I would rather not have them speaking of my views. They are not great for business, especially if foreign Seekers decide I'm too much an oddity to put up with, its already hard enough to put up with a different Sect."

I wondered if that was prompting? There was a good chance that it was my que, a reason to move forward and take the world.

"I do not intend to," No, it was only a thought. It was not my cause, I was not ready for that sort of grand ambition.

"Good," She whispered her thanks.

"Why foreigners?" I asked mildly. "You said that you were part of the local guild. Will they not work with you?"

"Local Sect," She corrected absentmindedly. "Silver by Justice." There was a smile as she said the words like an often repeated prayer. "And... it is complicated."

"Very well," I said immediately.

"Not for any wrong I did," She said suddenly, more force in her voice than I thought she intended. "Sorry, I am not sure why I said that."

Because Chaos? I chuckled internally, it was a reality of madness after all. But I did not mind to hear her story, I had only known her for the day and I found myself liking the Blank scavenger.

"Because you want an ally?" It was a reasonable conclusion. I was not averse to it, I did not have any real objective to helping her until I had a course of action

"Maybe?" She asked. It seemed more a general question than one for me in particular. "Well, I bothered you enough. Best get some sleep."

She returned to her cot again, leaving me to think farther.

So I spent the night in thought, forcing myself into sleep only an hour or two in total while I puzzled out what course was appealing.

I came up with nothing.