Nobunaga Oda's Isekai Cultivation Experience

Waking an hour or so before the dawn, Nobu was unsurprised to see the raven-haired woman near the pool of water, the low light of the cave glistening on her fair skin as she used a large sponge to carefully clean herself.

Had he not awoken in the middle of the night to find her snoozing at the side of the cave, Nobu might have thought she never slept. She was always awake when he went to bed, and, no matter how early he awoke, she was already in the middle of her morning routine.

After staring a little longer than he should have, Nobu rolled to a seated position and asked, "Is it normal for a girl to expose themselves like this? Shouldn't be like...I don't know...more reserved?"

Without bothering to look back, Yui shook her head, voice as frigid as the outside temperature as she explained, "Though I have yet to earn the qualification, it is my dream to become a respected and highly dignified warrior. If something as base as nudity bothered me, a clever enemy would be able to easily exploit such a weakness..."

As this was his first time hearing about her 'dream', Nobu's brows perked up as he leaned forward and asked, "Is that what's popular this day and age? Becoming a warrior? I can understand why you would want to become strong, but shouldn't your dream be something...bigger? I'm not really sure how to put it..."

Rather than respond to the questions asked, Yui half-turned to face Nobu, a serious expression on her face as she said, "You truly are an irredeemably arrogant man...tell me, what is your dream? For you to judge mine as 'small', yours must be something substantial, correct?"

Contrary to Yui's expectations, Nobu gestured in a dismissive manner as he unhesitantly answered, "Nah. I don't really have something like a dream. I'd be happy so long as I have a good woman to warm my bed, a roof over my head, and plenty of food to put on the table. If I did have a dream...I guess it would be to return home? I would also like to get out of this cave and get...eh, whatever..."

Though he was going to say he wanted to get as far away from her as possible, Nobu felt it was a little too early in the day to be a complete ass. Instead, he rose to his feet, stretching his body as he said, "Well...to each their own. I just think a dream should be something difficult to obtain. As far as I can tell, you're pretty strong. Unless there are some assholes trying to prevent you from becoming one, I don't see what would stop you from becoming a warrior. Even there are, you should just tell them to fuck off. I sure as hell wouldn't let some old farts tell me what I can and can't become..."

Even without asking her for the details, Nobu could make a few guesses regarding the raven-haired woman's situation. This world seemed to be filled with cliches, and, based on how she behaved till now, it wasn't difficult to imagine her belonging to a conservative family that opposed her decision to become a warrior. At the very least, this would explain why she was so 'intense' all the god damn time.

Not expecting to hear such words from Nobu, of all people, Yui found herself at a momentary loss for words. Soon after, however, she shook her head, resignation audible in her tone as she said, "It isn't that simple...a warrior who has abandoned their family and values is no better than a beast..."

Disagreeing vehemently with this sentiment, Nobu found himself scoffing as he said, "That kind of thinking is just retarded. People don't get to choose their family. Saying shit like that is like saying a newborn is fated to become a killer just because their parents were killers. That kind of 'convenient' thinking is the type of shit corrupt politicians and criminals use to cling to power. If you're seriously surrounded by people telling you to give up on your dream, they aren't family, they're self-serving cunts."

Glowering in response to Nobu's words, a golden dagger manifested in Yui's hand as she warned, "I will not tolerate such callous words. If you continue to speak without regard for the consequences, I will be forced to defend the honor of my family..."

Though he knew she was being 'very' serious, Nobu was beginning to feel a little fed up. As a result, he shrugged in a 'do something' kind of gesture before sarcastically stating, "Yeah, because proud and honorable families teach their descendants to kill anyone who dares to speak out against them. That isn't the behavior of a tyrannical or extremely petty family. Nope. Not at all."

Gritting her teeth, the glare on Yui's face became progressively more intense with each word that left Nobu's mouth. When he was finally finished, she could barely hold herself back as she asked, "Are those your last words...?"

Feeling a sudden and intense urge to laugh, an incredulous chuckle emanated from Nobu's throat as he stared directly into the woman's eyes and answered, "If you're looking for something to put on my tombstone, write "I told you so" in bold letters. That way you can clearly recall it whenever your family forces you to do something you don't really want to do...you fucking hypocrite..."

With her eyes widening from rage and indignation, Yui charged forward, left hand grasping Nobu's neck as she slammed into the wall and hissed, "Why must you force my hand like this!? Can't you at least pretend to be sensible!?"

Glaring back at the woman with resolute eyes, Nobu squeezed her wrist as hard as he could before answering, "Look at the positions we're in...I'm not forcing you to do shit...you're the one in control. Don't try to shift the blame to me...just because you are too afraid to live your own life..."

Punctuating his words, Nobu attempted to knee the woman in her non-existent chest but the only thing he managed to accomplish was sending a sharp pain through the entire limb. In response, Yui pulled him forward before slamming him into the wall a total of three times. Then, with a frustrated noise that might have sounded cute under different circumstances, she dropped him to the ground before grabbing her clothes and storming out of the cave in a huff...

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Though he was lying face-down on the ground, Nobu made no attempt to move. The chill present within the ground made the pain radiating through his body feel a little less extreme. Thus, for the better part of ten minutes, he just lay there thinking about how things had devolved to this point in such a short period of time.

When he first heard the woman mention her dream, Nobu had been genuinely curious. He was also sick and tired of just sitting in silence most of the day, so, in the hope of increasing their familiarity, he decided to make small talk. Instead, things quickly devolved into an argument, and, as a result of a sudden onset of 'death seeking disease', he, once again, found himself nursing various injuries...

"Seriously...what is it about that woman that gets me so riled up? If I find out this was some bullshit plot to force us to fall in love, I'm seriously going to punch that Goddess in the face..."

As those words left his mouth, Nobu was surprised to hear a pinging sound similar to a phone that had just received a text. Immediately thereafter, the stone tablet plopped down next to his hand, so, after staring at it for several seconds, he picked it up to see the words 'You Have 1 New Message' at the top of the screen.

Swiping down out of habit, Nobu's expression froze as he realized he hadn't attempted this during his experimentation. This was actually a common action when operating a smartphone, but, due to the lack of any indicators or notifications, it had completely slipped his mind. Now, not only could he see the message notification, he could also check the date, time, and, most importantly, access the Home screen...

"Fuck my life..."

Though he had a lot more to say, Nobu decided to save his self-deprecating remarks for later. For now, he had more important things to do, so, after a very brief moment of hesitation, he clicked on the notification informing him he had received a new message. This caused the app that resembled a golden thought bubble to open, but, instead of showing him the message, it took him to a screen that resembled an account/profile creation window.

"Private name, public alias, age, sex, cultivation base, likes, dislikes, and preferences...what is this, a fucking dating app?"

Shaking his head, Nobu rolled onto his back and began filling in his information using the onscreen keyboard. In the end, it didn't matter if it was a Cultivation Chat Group, a Dating App, or something completely mundane. It was a part of his golden spoon, and, more importantly, something he could use to pass the time when he wasn't clicking, exercising, or sleeping.

Since it wouldn't let him falsify his information, Nobu entered his real information before choosing the name Lord Cookie as his public alias. He might have complained about it in his previous life but the notion of having genuine cultivators refer to him as Lord or Venerable Cookie was too amusing to ignore. Unfortunately, the button he thought was supposed to lock in his selection turned out to be a 'randomizer' function. This changed his public alias to 'Demon King of Sixth Heaven', the name ascribed to the original Oda Nobunaga due to the atrocities he committed against Buddhist monks.

"Are you for real? Seriously, whoever keeps messing with me, you need to get a life. Sure, I might not have been a Saint in my previous life, but this is bullshit..."

While saying that, Nobu attempted to change his public alias back to Lord Cookie only to find that the name had been taken. Every other name he input gave a similar message, and, as a result, a line of text appeared beneath the input window, saying: 'Having trouble? Try one of these suggestions!' before proceeding to suggest 'Demon King of Sixth Heaven' a total of ten times.

"..."

Closing the app, Nobu returned to the Home screen with the intention of trying out his camera app. He didn't enjoy being fucked with, so, even if the messenger app turned out to be his most valuable cheat, he didn't give a damn. If he had a field of fucks to give, anyone who happened upon it would find it barren and lifeless.

Content to let the messenger app remain closed till the heat death of the universe, Nobu thumbed the camera app. Shortly thereafter, he felt a strange feeling on his fingertips, and, after turning the tablet over, he noticed there were now three cameras present near the top left.

"Nice..."

Flipping the phone back over, Nobu noticed that the screen was now displaying everything visible through the cameras. This made it seem like a normal camera app, but, the moment he pressed the capture button, a message asking, 'Would you like to spend 10AU to scan this scene?' appeared on the screen.

Though 10AU was the equivalent of four hours of clicking, Nobu's curiosity ended up getting the better of him. Thus, after a moment of consideration, he ended up pressing confirm. Immediately thereafter, a strange pulse erupted from the camera like a flash. This caught Nobu by surprise, but, after calming down, he looked at the display to find several tiny boxes denoting various parts of the cave. Clicking them caused the boxes to expand, and, as a result, Nobu could feel his pulse begin to race as he muttered, "Holy shit..."