No Dark Secrets In This Book

Episode 93

‘Having to think this much just to be treated like a person is a bit fucked up though.’

But don’t worry. I’m sufficiently making those bastards who made me feel fucked up pay the price. 

At this rate, won’t they get a herniated disc in their neck? I feel a little bit sorry for the butler sweating profusely and lowering his head in this cold weather. The butler is not someone trained in martial arts.

But I don’t give a damn whether Reverse is wearing armor or sweating. I have no intention of showing mercy to those who came to kill me.

‘Let’s go for a full hour like this!’

But it seemed the leader of Reverse couldn’t endure anymore and abruptly raised his head. 

I didn’t miss that moment.

“Two hour extension.”

“…!”

Perhaps shocked by the sudden extension service, it seemed some of Reverse who were barely enduring lost their posture and were suppressing murderous intent. But I couldn’t go easy on them here either. I shook my head side to side, really annoyingly and regretfully.

“Dick Yorley raised his head, so it can’t be helped. If you want to blame someone, blame him.”

But the expressions of the Reverse guys who should have been pissed off turned strange. Why? Was the name wrong?

Then what’s the original name? 

‘Dick Yorkshire Terrier or something like that, right?’

Although he looks like a pit bull terrier.

But as a result of Ryuseong whispering in my ear midway, unexpectedly, Dick is neither Yorley nor Yorkshire Terrier, but Baskerville.

At first, I couldn’t believe it and argued whether it was really Baskerville, not Yorleyhu, but thinking about it belatedly, the Hound of the Baskervilles appeared in the Sherlock Holmes series, so I seem to have mistaken Dick Baskerville’s surname for a dog breed.

‘Apologize to the cute puppy Yorkshire Terrier.’

Somehow it sounded like the Reverse guys were holding back laughter as if they heard our conversation, but I decided to believe they didn’t hear it with an innocent mind. Because if they burst out laughing at making fun of their leader, wouldn’t their military discipline be excessively ruined? They couldn’t be that inferior and substandard as a group despite priding themselves as the strongest military unit, right?

When I even whispered that much out loud, the way they twitched their toes as if having a fit was truly artistic. As time kept increasing like that, after torturing Reverse for a full four hours, they started kneeling in front of me and displaying proper etiquette, in contrast to their faces full of dissatisfaction. Only then did I stop my warm and friendly smile. And I said,

“The vicious hounds have finally become docile.” 

Let’s start by establishing discipline first, you bastards.

“I’m still pondering how I should make you pay the price for daring to express murderous intent in front of my lover.”

“…?”

Ryuseong tried to look at me as if dumbfounded, but I quickly stepped on his foot.

Ryuseong’s confusion was naturally because Reverse’s killing intent was directed at me. But how would the people who were startled and ran out of the tent know that?

I effectively instilled the image of a loving couple to those who were gossiping and whispering, making them accept the power struggle with Reverse as something plausible.

‘This is killing two birds with one stone. It’s not enough to just dig a ditch and catch crayfish. Huh? You have to love and kiss too…’

“It was our oversight. How were we supposed to know that Young Master was kidnapped by the ruffian from Hanra?”

I was lost in idle thoughts when Dick Yogawon’s remark brought me back to reality. By the way, this is a remark that completely ignores me. It treats my lover as a ruffian while simultaneously insulting me as a weak kid who would get kidnapped, asking where I was wandering around and only now crawling back.

When hearing such words, the proper reaction would be to get offended, but I was different. Rather, meeting a skilled mouth fighter aroused my competitive spirit. I also wanted to show off my skills as I had a glib tongue.

However, unfortunately, the first mouth battle ended in a dud. Because Ivan Karpin, a Russian officer, appeared behind Reverse and said,

“Stop the family fight. If you arrived late, it’s proper to first go meet the commander.”

“…”

“…”

Then Dick Yogeunrae glared at me for a moment and abruptly stood up and turned around. Of course, he wouldn’t be able to watch Cassice Demillang, who is a proper young head externally, be disrespected outside, so I…

“Shut up! How dare you open your mouth at a Demillang event! You’re just an officer…!”

“Shut up! Dick Yosilgeum!”

“…”

I’ll mindlessly tackle Dick Yoreugasm’s words.

Let’s see when that bastard goes crazy.

* * *

‘Is he crazy?’

Ivan Karpin pondered seriously.

‘Is the young head of Demillang crazy?’

Because such a performance couldn’t come out without being crazy. For a person to do this in their right mind…

‘It shouldn’t be… possible… right?’

Ivan Karpin felt his pupils trembling on their own.

Currently, Cassice Demillang, as if giving Dick Baskerville, the ruler of fear and oppression, the new surname Yosilgeum wasn’t enough, was overturning the surname with every word he said like a crazy bulldozer.

“What do you mean by that? To give the command to a lowly officer like that…!”

“Dick Yorogyeolseok, listen well.”

“Pfft- Ack!”

One of the Reverse members who unintentionally burst out laughing started slapping his own cheek. Slap! Slap! Slap!

Regardless of that, Cassice Demillang was serious.

“I know what you’re trying to say. But Dick Yogang, even if you’re a chamber pot, there are lines that can’t be crossed.”

‘I think I’m going to lose my mind… I think I’m really going to lose my mind.’

The biggest problem was that the face spewing such nonsense in the middle of everyone taking on the challenge of holding back laughter looked serious.

If we laughed here, it seemed we would get beaten to death by Dick ‘Baskerville’.

It seemed everyone except Cassice Demillang would die together.

“Dick Yojosooknyeo must remain as Yojosooknyeo at all times. The branch family absolutely cannot overstep the authority of the main family. However…”

“I, I didn’t intend to…!”

“How dare you interrupt the words of the main family, is that something you should say? Dick Yogurt?”

‘Ah. I think I’m going to piss myself.’

The soldier subordinate next to Ivan Karpin sincerely thought so. Whether laughter burst out or piss burst out, one of the two was certainly dangerous. No, now he really wanted to cry. One person was already face down in the snow, wailing loudly, but it was only sad that he had to forcibly keep his mind together.

But when he came to his senses at some point, both Cassice Demillang and Dick Yo-mul… no, Baskerville were looking at him. The Russian soldier standing next to Ivan Karpin was instantly flustered and shook his head left and right, and only when he lowered his eyes did he realize why the attention was focused on him.

‘Ah.’

Perhaps because he loosened the strength in his bladder while trying to hold back laughter.

His pants were all frozen yellow.

* * *

Ugh. I intended to drive Dick Yomul crazy, but I accidentally embarrassed Ivan Karpin’s subordinate.

‘I’m really sorry. That wasn’t intentional.’

I sent a subtle gaze hoping my intentions would be conveyed, but that soldier never made eye contact with me and just kept shedding tears profusely as he staggered away. If he cries like that, even his cheeks will freeze, I feel bad…

Anyway, Ivan Karpin, who had been burying his face in his palms with an attitude that was hard to tell whether it was apologetic, embarrassed, or holding back laughter, finally took a deep breath and raised his head. I hope his attempt to sort out the situation succeeds too. Because it’s hard for me to keep coming up with words starting with ‘Yo’ too.

“Now, let’s wrap this up. Young Master intends to hand over the command authority to me, and there can be no attempt to go against Young Master’s opinion, right? Then that’s it. It’s settled. So Dick Yo too, now stop…”

“…”

“Ah, damn it.”

Yodo was too much even for me to say. Ivan Karpin turned pale and buried his face in his palms again, and this time, laughter that couldn’t be fully suppressed bloomed abundantly on everyone’s lips.

Some people were laughing so hard their stomach seemed to rip, and some were rolling in the snow.

But I didn’t laugh until the end, and Ivan Karpin, who caused a huge disaster, couldn’t laugh either.

“…We will follow.”

And Dick Baskerville didn’t laugh.

“Young Master’s orders.”

He was glaring at me as if he would kill me.

“…”

Hmm, I didn’t intend to make them laugh this much.

‘Did I go too far?’

Beside me, I heard the sound of Ryuseong sighing with all his might as if trying to endure.

It seemed like he was treating me as a troublemaker…

‘Oh, it’s sad that I think it’s justified?’

But you must trust me completely.

‘I always have a plan!’

Although I don’t know if it will work today…

Translation Notes: 

I don’t know what to say this chapter full of dick!!!!