No Dark Secrets In This Book

Episode 157

Anyway, when I was attending Korea University under the name “Jeong Ian,” a classmate whose name I can’t even remember made this claim.

“Ian. Didn’t you see the news? About the elderly struggling in front of the kiosks. Do you think our future will be different?”

So in summary, it was the passionate speech of my classmate who was blabbering that people should have a lot of children so that the next generation would support them. And also for the sake of saving South Korea, which is facing a low birth rate crisis.

Inwardly, I thought,

‘You crazy bastard. You have the same thing attached to you, but what about pregnancy…’

However, there were many ways for men to get pregnant, such as uterus transplants. Thinking about it now, I don’t think that’s what my classmate meant, but at that time, I wished my classmate blessings for attempting surgery for male pregnancy in conservative Korea.

“Yeah, sure. You have a lot of them.”

When I answered like that, he retorted while getting angry.

“My girlfriend says she’d feel sorry for future generations if she passed on my genes. She says she’d want to pass on a face like yours, but should I be jealous about this?”

Half-suspicious and half-wary eyes. Come to think of it, my classmate’s girlfriend often met and played with me, and we even compared hand sizes.

But this is how I responded.

“Thank God I’m gay.”

My devout Catholic classmate clutched his rosary and prayed. Please summon someone who can break that bastard’s nose…

‘Now that I think about it, I’m the one who got summoned. Damn it. Did that bastard’s curse work?’

Whether it’s because of that bastard or not…

The word crazy is used in a wide variety of ways, but I know very well the feeling of actually going crazy.

‘Well. I was doomed the moment I calmly accepted possession.’

Even when I first realized I had fallen into a book, I didn’t feel a sense of crisis, and even when Ryuseong tried to strangle me, I didn’t feel fear.

It was because I thought it didn’t matter when I died.

I love the world, but because I love it, I’m enjoying every day… I’m living with the resolve to not care whenever everything is taken away from me…

‘This is also a symptom. I had forgotten.’

In other words, I was a human being with an excessively high pain threshold.

Not in terms of physical response, but in terms of the mental aspect.

The counselor introduced by the psychiatrist was beating around the bush, but to be blunt, they said that my mind had been tamed that way because of frequent experiences of abuse and violence.

To summarize it a bit violently, it means I’m in a state where I can’t have a “normal” reaction even to insults, violence, or abuse directed at me.

Perhaps even if I were to be burned at the stake, limited to mental torture, wouldn’t I just think, ‘Oh, it’s warm?’

So I found it ridiculous.

I found it ridiculous that I, who found both life and death trivial, wanted to live a little longer. I found it ridiculous that I was in pain and that I was living.

In that sense, there was a reason I laughed in the middle of the meeting.

But…

“Let’s resume the meeting in an hour.”

The head of the Hanra clan stared at me with unfathomable eyes and took my side.

He seems to be an unexpectedly open-minded person.

‘If it were me, I would have just cursed, “That crazy bastard,” and left it at that.’

But Ryuseong took me out and started suggesting we take a walk since we had a break.

‘You crazy bastard…’

Do you remember how many people just died around here? Are you going crazy too because you’re next to a madman?

“Excuse me, do you think I’m a bastard who can’t live without a walk…?”

“You’ll just lie down all day once the cleanup is done, right?”

“That’s right. If you don’t remember, I’m a patient. With internal injuries.”

“So let’s just take a gentle walk.”

“…”

I frowned, then finally raised both hands as if I couldn’t resist.

Perhaps because darkness had fallen, his eyes seemed particularly deep. I couldn’t tell what Ryuseong was thinking. It seemed better to go along with him and try to figure out his thoughts in order to fix his habits in the future.

‘…Although I have a guess.’

The two of us walked a little next to the bloody pavilion.

The warriors we encountered at every path waved and greeted Ryuseong. There were also a considerable number of police personnel dispatched who gave me sharp salutes. Perhaps because of that, Ryuseong did not relax his vigilance at all. Even though his body must be in pain, he was pre-heating his dantian to be able to pour out his full energy at any time.

‘Even after breaking his innate true energy…’

In this novel, innate true energy is a bit different from the setting in martial arts novels. You can roughly think of it as the fundamental life force that the World Tree gave to humans. Breaking and using innate true energy doesn’t shatter the dantian along with it. Instead, it shortens the lifespan. It shortens the lifespan, the natural span imposed by the World Tree.

In other words, Ryuseong truly sacrificed his life to save me.

‘…Is that why this guy has gone crazy?’

Ah, of course, I know. Ryuseong is overexerting himself because he’s worried about me. So he’s enduring like a madman with his eyes rolled back.

Although I’m worried sick about Ryuseong…!

‘We know each other, so we’re letting it go.’

Yeah, to be honest, we weren’t in a state to participate in the meeting. It couldn’t be helped since we were lives that had narrowly escaped death.

‘The snake venom hasn’t been completely detoxified either. We’ll have to take medicine and remove the toxicity for several days… As for the internal injuries, well, what else is there to say?’

Since I entrusted the general handling of the matter to the clan leader, all we, who belong to Areah Academy, will have to do is testify.

Nevertheless, the reason the head of the Hanra clan called me in was probably to borrow the name of “that” Cassice Demillang…

‘But I’m not Cassice Demillang, what should I do…?’

Sometimes I had such thoughts.

When I, as “Jeong Ian,” couldn’t be of help.

Then what is the reason for my existence here, not as “Cassice Demillang” but as “me”?

‘Is there a reason for me to be myself…?’

I couldn’t know, and whenever I had such thoughts, I felt like destroying myself, but suddenly, I felt like I could understand Ryuseong.

If Ryuseong is someone who charged forward to break through this difficult world because he holds so many things dear in his hands.

I loved the world I had even though I had so little in my hands.

Even though no one remained grasped in my hand, I loved it so deeply…

Even though I have only grasped you, a single person, I want to love this world in the book again.

…Knowing that this place is not the paradise allowed to me.

‘I know. I…’

I don’t know how or when I possessed this body. If possession means a wandering ghost entering an empty human body, is it possible to possess by crossing worlds? Is it originally possible to possess into a book…?

There is nothing I can know and no clues. That meant that it wouldn’t be strange for this body to be taken away from me at any time and in any way. It also meant that I would be plagued by the thought that having the “real Cassice Demillang” here would be much better than someone like me existing.

Even so, because I like you so much, with just that kind of emotion…

I want to live even if I have to endure all of this.

“Are you okay. Cassice Demillang.”

“Huh? What are you talking about?”

“Your face is red.”

Tap, your forehead touched mine.

“You don’t have a fever though.”

“…How silly.”

My attempt to hide my flushed face didn’t work. Because of you, who slightly raised the corners of your mouth as if seeing through me.

‘It seems like your condition has improved from walking with me, right?’

Now I have no choice but to admit it.

‘I think I can love the world no matter how cruel it is.’

If you alone remain with me, I don’t mind if everything else is taken away from me. So, heaven. If you have ears, please listen carefully…

‘Not him.’

If you touch him, I’ll tear apart even the world.

***

Meanwhile, 5 minutes before the hour Cassice Demillang mentioned passed.

That’s when the “incident” began on the other side of the Earth.

“Isn’t everything about Demillang’s Council of Elders a secret? Even who belongs to it… It’s not something everyone can join just because they get old, and even those who have risen to the position of elder all maintain confidentiality. They say the Council of Elders can change the clan leader if they reach a unanimous decision, but since they don’t even know each other’s identities, such a thing almost never happens…”

This is generally the level of information the public knows about Demillang’s Council of Elders.

But in some mansion, didn’t the people observing the chessboard seem to know each other’s identities quite well under their masks?

This would mean that there are plenty of opportunities to change the clan leader.

Nevertheless, there was a reason why the Council of Elders had not been able to make a big impact in Demillang’s history so far.

It was because the clan leader was always given a weapon to wield the Council of Elders.

-The oath of non-killing towards the clan leader.

It is the pledge.