No Dark Secrets In This Book

Episode 121

If my life changes just because you’re here, I’ll definitely……

‘Be happy……?’

If I change happily thanks to the person I love, it seems like I should be glad.

Ah, I suddenly feel fear.

The night breeze was chillier than expected as if spring was being fickle, and it felt more intense to me than the winter wind. Is it because my clothes are thin? Is it because the thickness of the fabric protecting me has thinned and the cloth is exposed? How much will my life with Ryuseong change? How much, and……

…… How irreversibly?

Before I could really feel the depth of that fear, Ryuseong, who was sitting next to me, placed his hand on the edge of my shoulder and gently pulled me towards him. It seemed like he did that because I looked cold, haha……

“……”

We stayed like that for a long time, looking at the night view. Half embraced, embracing. My cool body temperature became a bit lukewarm because of that, and when the strange chills felt on the spring night subsided, Ryuseong opened his mouth.

“You remember too, the time when I was a baby beast.”

Of course, I can’t remember his childhood. But in the special place called the ‘dungeon’, we saw fragments of young Ryuseong.

I found him very cute. But even I think that the expression ‘baby beast’ is not a sharp or unfair expression. It was just a fact. That kid was not socialized and didn’t know civilization.

“A ‘baby beast’ can’t become ‘Ryuseong’ on its own. You know that too.”

Indeed, I nodded. Thinking, ‘Right,’ as if it was obvious. Because the current Ryuseong looks so completely human, it feels quite unfamiliar that such a thing doesn’t happen on its own. Is it because I love both the baby beast and the grown human?

And Ryuseong continued,

“That beast became human because someone kept giving him chances.”

“…… So, do you want to tell a beautiful story that everyone has a chance?”

I said sarcastically, but Ryuseong was not shaken.

“That’s a story for later.”

“Then what the hell are you trying to say with such a long introduction? I didn’t have the patience to listen from the beginning.”

Ryuseong was silent. Like someone who really had a lot to say, but like someone who couldn’t utter a single word.

Finally opening his mouth, the only thing he said with such difficulty was,

“You’re not someone who should be treated carelessly.”

Changing the subject.

“That’s right. Who dares to treat me carelessly?”

I sneered nervously, annoyed that he was changing the subject.

Ryuseong parted his lips as if it was even more difficult to see me like that.

“You.”

“What did you say?”

“You’re doing that. Please don’t do that.”

“There’s no one as precious as me to me.”

However, as if not listening to my claim at all, Ryuseong only said this firmly,

“Even a baby beast becomes human. If given a chance. Even such a beast. No matter what you think you are…… You can be more precious than you think. You may not have realized that chance yet.”

When saying those words, Ryuseong was looking at me instead of looking ahead. But instead of facing Ryuseong, I turned my head towards the night view.

“I don’t really understand what you mean.”

Those words were true.

I don’t understand, I don’t know. What the hell are you talking about? What nonsense are you talking about? Half of my brain fully understood Ryuseong’s words, but the other half completely failed. I felt confused, dizzy, and like I was going to throw up. It was uncomfortable and disgusting and I felt like crying and my heart was pounding.

If Ryuseong said one more word here, I was confident I would throw up.

But instead of saying something more or trying to persuade me, Ryuseong hugged me tightly. Ryuseong as a living creature was warm. Actually, he was so warm that I might burn to death.

So it was scary, and so it was good. It was miserable. All kinds of emotions swirled in my mouth and were chewed. Still, I swallowed without spitting it out.

After being held for a long time, I quietly asked,

“What were you originally trying to say?”

“I don’t think it’s the right time now.”

“Even though I’m asking like this?”

I recently made a sorrowful expression that Ryuseong was having a particularly hard time with. Not crying, just a tired look at life. An empty, scattered, and crumbling look that seemed like it would break apart. Such an expression was very easy. I could clearly see how to make Ryuseong listen to me.

After all, a human being drenched in love is bound to work that way.

‘He’ll answer soon.’

Seeing his sympathetic expression, I had an angle. And Ryuseong wiped my eyes with his fingers. Gently.

“My request comes first.”

And firmly.

‘…… This guy has grown quite a bit.’

Even a nine-tailed fox wouldn’t be able to seduce him.

How come you don’t fall for it even when I seduce you? I tried to dig it out right away because it seemed like you were hiding something, but you don’t even waver.

And then he urges me to listen to his ‘request’, his obvious request that ‘Cassice Demillang should not be treated carelessly’.

Ryuseong has changed a lot too. Maybe he changed as much as I did.

‘Because of me……’

Then for some reason, the churning subsided a little. Change happens in unexpected and unforeseen directions, to an unknowable depth, regardless of my will. The small thought, weak and uncertain, that Ryuseong would be the same. Just that thought somehow made me a little more at peace.

Yeah, let’s think that Ryuseong has changed because of me too. Let’s not be convinced. This much is just right. As I nestled into Ryuseong’s arms, I became warmer. Where? My skin? No. My heart.

Trailing his body with my fingers, I grabbed his shoulders. My fingers pressed on his clothes and at the same time pressed on Ryuseong’s flesh. Pressing, going higher and higher. I was prepared to hold Ryuseong and make him look at me if he avoided my gaze, but Ryuseong calmly looked at me.

You will now hear the sweetest voice I can make.

“I’ll listen to that request.”

It’s a meaningless request anyway. Don’t treat me carelessly? Who would dare treat Cassice Demillang carelessly? Ryuseong sometimes seems to worry too much and make wrong assumptions. For example, that I’m unhappy, things like that.

This field trip seems like we both buttoned the first button wrong somehow. Right? But now one is unbuttoned. Back to square one. Because we both know that you’re hiding something.

‘Yeah. Just this once……’

It was really nice to see you misunderstand in strange places, worry, be conscious, and somehow mobilize your own weak sense like this. So I’ll show mercy. I don’t know what you’re hiding, but I’ll endure and not dig it out. I even wanted to give you, the frustrated one, the prize of waiting.

‘You’re really commendable.’

I lightly touched my lips to Ryuseong’s lips. Yes, like Ryuseong did to me before, a light peck. But the difference is that Ryuseong’s was pure and mine is lewd.

Ryuseong and my faces were now only about a span apart.

The smile I made would be the most beautiful in recent times.

“I understand that you’re worried about me. It feels good. So as a reward……”

Have me.

I whispered in his ear, as if driving a wedge.

As the breeze touched his ear, I felt his body flinch for a moment. One thing was certain. Ryuseong would never refuse this.

How can you refuse when I’m giving myself as a reward?

I was sincere. If Ryuseong pushed me down here, I was going to meekly accept it.

‘Because I already said it with the resolution to become a mess……’

No, was I wrong? Maybe I wanted to become a mess without even knowing it.

Come on, hurry, hurry.

‘So that I can’t think of anything……’

Ryuseong’s eyes were once again filled with an inexplicable sorrow. But in the end, his hands moved. Yes. He wouldn’t be able to refuse. Because he loves me, he would want to hold me that much.

‘As planned.’

I smiled happily and welcomed him, and Ryuseong took me.

But the plan was completely distorted.

…… Ryuseong just hugged me without a word and completely had me.

There was no violent pounce or anything.

As if I were a fragile little child.

‘Now you won’t even eat when I set the table.’

Somehow, I lost strength when I received the comfort. Should I accept it now? The fact that I can seduce Ryuseong, but I can’t get the desired result?

‘Nothing goes my way……’

You think and act as you please. In the end, I couldn’t even ask what you were hiding. But,

‘It’s warm……’

It was warm enough to heat up my cold heart. The hand gently patting my back was like a slow heartbeat, and my heart also beat slowly to match it.

Somehow, I didn’t feel nauseous and felt comfortable.

I kept feeling comfortable.

As long as the slow pulse was beating behind my back, all the way……

***

A little later, Ryuseong returned to the accommodation carrying the soundly sleeping Cassice.

The accommodation he returned to was much noisier than when he was with Cassice, but it quickly quieted down when Ryuseong entered. However, when he signaled with his eyes that it was okay, the people inside the accommodation began to whisper quietly again.

Ryuseong laid Cassice down and came out to the living room of the accommodation. Ryuseong had complicated thoughts, and if Cassice was in his sight, it was obvious that his thoughts would be even more disorganized.

But even while looking at the scenery outside the window, the uneasiness was the same.

‘In return for cherishing yourself, you’ll give yourself as you please.’

Saying you’ll give a ‘reward’. That look in your eyes saying ‘As a reward, you can do whatever you want with me’.

You didn’t seem to know at all that it reveals the fact that you don’t understand anything.

To start the next story, you needed to understand this……

‘Cassice Demillang, no, Jeong Ian……’

He had almost reached a conclusion about the relationship between ‘Jeong Ian’ and ‘Cassice Demillang’.

Although he couldn’t understand ‘how such a relationship was possible’, the regressor who protected the world realized that he had almost reached the truth.

It’s a hard-to-believe story, but the two are ‘the same person’ but ‘not’.

Ryuseong knew that.