NieR Automata: Life's Meaning

He was.

That abrupt realization brought with it his first breath.

His eyes snapped open as liquid flooded his lungs. He was floating, suspended in a turquoise substance. It weighed down on him, not quite crushing him but restraining any movement. Fighting against it worsened the burn slowly spreading throughout his chest. Despite that, he forced his arms forward.

Glass. It stopped him from reaching the blurry lights that exist beyond whatever this was.

His chest tightened, mouth opening in a desperate bid for oxygen only to be met with more of the strange liquid.

Was this it?

Minuscule cracks formed on the glass around his hands

He grasped his existence only for it to be wiped out moments later?

The cracks joined together, quickly forming a web and further blurring the lights just out of reach.

NO!

The glass shattered and he fell forward, landing on his forearms.

Violent coughs racked his body. Spit and blood soon joined the fractured glass, tears filling the corners of his eyes as he hacked it all up. He wasn't sure how long he laid there coughing and wheezing, but he managed to pick up on a loud beep filling wherever he was.

'Scan complete. Conscious confirmed.' A voice, feminine in nature, followed the beep. 'Good morning master. Today marks your first awakening as well as a breakthrough in project APEX.'

Coughing fit all but done and eyes dried via blinks, he looked up in search of the voice.

White.

Up, down. Left, right. No matter where he looked all he saw was white. The ceiling, walls, and floors. There was nothing to break it up. Nothing except for the machine behind him. Embedded in the wall where he had fallen from was some kind of cylinder-like container. Various tubes and odd bits of sharp machinery hung within it, their tips covered in blood, and what remained of that strange liquid leaked out of the container's shattered glass.

"W-Who are you?" He asked, his hoarse voice echoing throughout the empty room.

'I am your personal neural aid and virtual intelligence unit.' The voice answered. Same as before he couldn't find any trace of where the voice was coming from. It felt like it came from all around yet there was no echo like his.

"Where are you?"

'My main core is located within your cerebral cortex though to better carry out my functions there are thousands of threads linking me to the entirety of your central nervous system. These threads branch out into each of your body's major organ systems though grow less extensive as distance from the brain is increased.'

Core? Cerebral cortex? Threads? On their own the words made sense, but he couldn't make heads or tails of the voice's explanation.

'Your level of comprehension has been noted for future explanations master. In simple terms, I am an advanced piece of technology that has been implanted within you.' Implanted within him? Then the voice he was hearing didn't come from something hidden in the walls around but from something within his own head? 'Correct, master. Verbal communication is not only unnecessary but highly inefficient. Total calibration remains incomplete but accurate interpretation of your thoughts is already possible.'

He wasn't sure if he should be put off by the idea that his mind was apparently being read or relieved that he wasn't totally alone. This sterile room and the distinct blankness that made up his memories didn't paint a comforting set of circumstances.

He shifted, preparing to stand, only for a hiss to slip out of him. Shards of glass were stabbed into his forearms. Any movement set off a searing pain that deterred any thoughts about removing them. Pulling the shards free probably wasn't the best idea anyways; they were only leaking small bits of blood now but there was no telling how deep some of the wounds were.

'No significant harm has been suffered, master. You should be able to heal those wounds without difficulty.' The voice in his head said.

Heal? Did this machine know nothing of humans? He couldn't just wish for something like this to just be healed.

 'That would be true of ordinary humans, but you are special.' His would-be assistant said. As if sensing his doubt she continued. 'A quick examination of your stasis pod will prove that.'

Heeding her words, he carefully craned his neck to look behind him.

There was nothing special that he hadn't already noticed. The shattered glass, the leaking liquid, the sharp bits of bloodied machinery and-

A quick look between him and where those needles and tubes would've been attached to him revealed spots of blood that had nothing to do with the glass littering the floor. Oddly enough, wiping away the blood revealed no wounds.

Only blemish free skin.

'Your regenerative abilities far outstrips those of your peers.' The voice reassured him once more.

He was at a complete loss. The very concept that he could heal from something like a stab was mind boggling. Then again, the voice in his head, this odd room, and the thing called a stasis pod were already absurd despite his lack of memories.

Squashing his still very prevalent reservations, he reached out for one of the smaller shards lodged in his arm. With a grunt he pulled it free.

Without the shard to keep it at bay, blood flowed freely from the wound, leaking down his arm. Seconds dragged on and just as he feared, the wound remained the same. Maybe he shouldn't be following the suggestions of a disembodied voice claiming to be inside of him.

'It would appear that your healing factor is no different than that of a normal human's at the moment.' The voice noted. How very astute of an observation. 'Of course, master. My purpose is to provide the best aid possible.' It continued, apparently unaware of what sarcasm was. 'Do you wish for me to stop the bleeding?'

If that was something it was capable of.

Almost as soon as he thought the answer the wound's bleeding slowed. He wiped away the blood and found odd black material in place of the puncture. It didn't look like or feel like liquid, the black material smooth and sturdy beneath his touch.

'Nanomachines, master. Those microscopic machines are one of the means by which I am able to lend you aid.' The voice explained.

That would, without a shadow of a doubt, be a lifesaver but it did make one thing clear. He wasn't human, or at least he didn't match the preconceived notions he had about what a human should and shouldn't be capable of.

After giving permission to the voice to attend to the other wounds, he slowly begin to dislodge the glass from his arm.

'You mentioned something called project APEX. Does that have something to do with you and where we are?' He thought, rather than spoke.

'Correct. Project APEX or The Augmented Progression of Evolutionary Xenobiology was dedicated to the creation of the first human not only host to artificial genes but exercising an extreme degree of control over their cells and expressing whatever dormant genes will aid in their continued survival.'

'Dormant genes?' He questioned through a wince as he pulled out the last shard. So he was human, just a genetically altered one? Why even bother with such an experiment? Just to see if such a thing were possible or was there something bigger at play?

'Apologies master but I don't believe I am equipped with the data to explain the project in its entirety. I was a latter addition simply meant to ensure a smooth adaption to your circumstances should the worst come to pass.'

'Worse?'

'I-' For the first time, the voice, always deliberate and exact in what it had to say, paused, leaving him with the sound of his own breathing. It was honestly creepy how quiet the room was. It's almost like nothing existed beyond this singular room. Luckily, it didn't last long. 'While information related to that question has been stored within me, it appears as though I am not yet allowed access to it.'

Well, if everything he was told was true, it wasn't too hard to believe that the thing meant to help him would have restrictions placed on it to some degree. For instance, if the experiment was cancelled and this place, whatever it was, had been abandoned. That's not exactly stuff you'd want to tell someone in his situation right off the bat.

He was struggling to comprehend the implications of this room alone.

'Is there a way for you to gain access?'

Several clinks suddenly echoed throughout the room, followed by a slight tremor as a barely noticeable weight fell over him. Nothing inside changed but he could tell that the entire room was slowly rising.

'There are a series of tests set up throughout the facility to determine the success of the project. At various points throughout these tests, the restrictions on the data will be lifted.'

So, he pass these tests and he should get the answer to his questions. What would happen if he failed?

'Failure will be synonymous with death in the trials to come.' The voice said without so much as a change in tone or cadence. 'Should you wish it, I will provide whatever aid I can.'

With one sentence things went from ominously mysterious to life threatening.

The room came to an abrupt stop and everything fell silent. Then it began to split down the middle, the walls, ceiling and flooring revealing themselves to be made up of several different plate He couldn't get a look at what was below before dozens of other plates rose up to fill the empty space.

What in the world was going on?

-Route A, No. 001-

A leap. A roll. A slide.

Slipping beneath a sharp axe, he shot up into a sprint. The walls of the room shifted and parted revealing rows of small holes. In a flash, a dozen arrows shot out of them. He managed to avoid most but one managed to pierce the back of his left shoulder. He faltered but didn't stop.

He'd gotten use to the pain.

This room, now transformed into a massive obstacle course, charged him with a single object; get to the other side and press a button then return to the starting point.

The first go around had been simple. Separated by nothing but slowly revolving steel bars, it had been easy enough to clear the room despite its size and complete his objective. Unfortunately, the room seemed to operate by some sort of level system, resetting with more dangerous obstacles each time.

First the speed of the steel bars increased. Then the room was made slimmer, giving him less space to work. At some point giant axes and other bladed contraptions replaced the bars. He didn't even remember what run the arrows started on, but they'd only grown in number.

Jumping over a pit of darkness, he slammed his hand on the button. As usual things changed. The blades swung faster, space he had to run narrowed, and arrows poured into the room nonstop. The most dangerous change of all involved the pits; just above the darkness were the sharp tips of countless spikes.

Steeling himself, he backtracked, not bothering to look down the pits as he leaped over, all the while weaving around arrows and blades. As he jumped once more, he tilted his head, an arrow rocketing past and slicing his left cheek; those things now shot with lowered frequency but with so much more force behind them that they appeared to be no more than blurs.

A normal person wouldn't have been able to see them let alone react.

He pushed on, barely a hair's length away from suffering fatal until injuries until he reached the final pit. He crouched slightly, preparing to jump. And, just as feet began to leave the ground, a click filled the room and an arrow skewered his left thigh. He winced, the flash of pain nothing new, and faltered ever so slightly.

He reached out for the edge but fell short, plummeting down to the spikes.

Was this it? Woken up just to die in some test? Some experiment he didn't even understand? Was this all his brief existence amounted to?

No!

A faint burn raced through his outstretched hand and it began to change.

Skin turned black. Its form almost began to melt, yet remained solid, twisting and turning into a writhing gathering of black tendrils. Before the spikes below skewered his back, the reshaped appendage shot forward and grasped the ledge, a gasp escaping him as he slowed only to slingshot back up.

He landed hard, stumbling across the platform.

A beep filled the air.

The room began to restructure itself once more, the obstacle course done away with as it retook its original shape. The moment that process was completed, a faint click filled the room, then a tremor, and it was once more on the move.

The whole time, he stared at his arm, now back in its original shape.

What the hell was that?

-Route A, No. 001-

Several more tests followed. With them came more discoveries about his capabilities.

One room had been a pitch-black maze; it had taken a long while for him to accidentally induce a form of night vision and navigate its trapped twists.

Another had been flooded with water with no other goal than to survive for an allotted time; he not only learned that his assistant could optimize his body's oxygen use to the upmost but ended up falling into an almost hibernation like state that further dropped the amount of oxygen he needed.

Throughout each test, it became increasingly clear that even if he was injured, he outperformed what humans should be capable of. His strength, speed, and healing factor could all be pushed to the eleventh degree. Perhaps even beyond that; with as little control as he had over himself it was hard to tell if he had reached any limit on what he was capable of.

A small sigh escaped him as the room began to rise once more, another trial conquered.

He wasn't sure if this could be considered torture. For an ordinary human? Sure, that went without saying, but it's quite clear that the people who designed this place had rather accurate ideas of what he would be capable of it. No matter what was thrown at him his body seemed to adapt.

If nothing else, that surely meant he would be capable of surviving no matter what awaited him.

'Navi' He thought idly.

'Navi, master?' The voice responded.

'You don't have a name, right? Well, what do you think about Navi?' He explained. He'd spent previous ascensions between tests preparing for whatever ordeal would await him, but he'd come to accept that he had no real way of knowing what'd be thrown his way. Coming up with a name for this reliable voice in his head was as good a way to pass the time as any.

It felt weird to just think of her as the voice or assistant.

'Navi. I see. You derived the name from my title as a neural aid and virtual intelligence unit. It is an efficient designation.' Despite the approval her tone remained the same as ever. 'Am I correct in assuming you will refer to yourself as Apex?'

He was the product of this so-called APEX project. He was sure there was some argument to be made about the arrogance involved in taking on such a name, but it had more to do with a lack of creativity on his part. Why bother trying to come up with something complicated with that name sitting around for the taking?

He raised an arm and, after a brief mental struggle, his hand morphed into a writhing black claw. The claws themselves weren't as long as he intended and it barely looked stable, threatening to meld back together into its normal shape at a moment's notice.

If he really was human, something he held some serious doubts about, physically speaking, he was superior to all others of his race. Apex made for a fitting name.

The room came to a jerky stop and shattered his concentration, his arm reverting to normal. This stop was different than the previous ones.

Usually the flooring and ceiling began to part and make space for whatever specialized tools were needed for the next test. The walls would also sometimes pull back, more of the metal tiles added to create a bigger space. The process provided brief glimpses of the endless darkness both above and below, hinting at the sheer size of the place.

This time, only the walls ahead parted, revealing a long hallway of flickering lights.

'Master, the restrictions on data concerning project APEX along with a variety of information that may be of interest to you has been lifted. Shall I share them with you?'

'Go ahead.' He thought while toeing his way toward the long hall. Rusted walls, exposed wiring, and dust; despite being made of what appeared to be the same metal of that room, the hall couldn't be anymore different. The place he'd woken up in felt isolated; a place subject to nothing. Here, time and perhaps something else, had taken its toll.

'Project APEX was created and funded in secret by Richard Emas, a prominent business owner, and doctor Lana Emas in opposition to project Gestalt.' Navi said. Now he had the names of the people his current existence could likely be traced to, but that didn't really answer much of anything.

'Project Gestalt?' He asked while coming to a stop. He'd stepped into a white powdery substance. Clumps just like it littered different parts of the long hall, each one varying in size.

'According to the data, project Gestalt involved the creation of soulless husks known as Replicants. Humanity would separate their souls from their physical forms to-'

'Hold a minute, you can't just speed past the whole separating souls thing like its normal. Humans can do that?' Apex questioned, baffled by the direction of the explanation. Humanity had confirmed the existence of the soul? On top of that, they developed technology capable of interacting with it?

Even in his situation that all sounded far-fetched.

'Indeed, master. It is odd that such concepts are unknown to you.' Navi said. As he kneeled to examine the pile of powder the lights began to flicker. 'Much of the data provided to me bears a clear bias against project Gestalt and the manipulation of a person's soul. It is impossible to confirm but there exists a significant probability that the process used to integrate basic knowledge of humanity within your memories intentionally excluded such subjects.'

It certainly felt like he was in the dark about a lot.

After one final flicker, a blanket of darkness wrapped around the hall.

And now he was literally in the dark.

Apex took a deep breath as he closed his eyes. A faint burn spread throughout them, their internal make-up morphing just as his arm had. He snapped them open.

A blade greeted him.

Apex threw himself back and it nicked his neck. He landed on his back and quickly rolled to his feet, putting as much distance as he could between him and his attacker.

"Human! Human! Kill the human!" A metal head, held by some sort of ring that glowed with a dark red energy, floated in the air ahead of him. It held a large axe that matched him in size. Despite the weapon being as rusty and battered as the yelling machine wielding it, Apex was sure the thing could cleave him in two if he wasn't careful.

'Is this another test, Navi?' He questioned while rubbing his neck. The nick had been covered by nanomachines before a single droplet of blood could escape.

'Negative, master. My database indicates testing has been completed. This machine is an anomaly.' She informed him as a burst of red energy left the machine and it shot forward. Instead of shying away, he rushed forward and slid beneath its wide swing, racing away from it. 'The layout of this facility and the number of anomalies that may inhabit it are both unknown. Fleeing is likely to result in death in this situation. I suggest dispatching the machine.'

It's not like he was in any position to argue with her logic, but Apex wasn't so sure how to pull it off.

The thing continued to dart after him, sending out wild swings. With his eyes lighting up the room and this entire hall at his disposal, it wasn't hard to stay one step ahead of the thing, rolling and jumping out of the axe's path, but fighting back was a different matter entirely. Did he just strike the head? Was he strong enough to do any damage to pure metal?

Only one way to find out.

Twisting on his heel to face the incoming machine, Apex ducked beneath another slash and threw himself into an uppercut. Flesh met metal and a loud crack filled the hall. To his surprise, the metal plating around the machine bent and it disconnected from the rest of the body, tumbling across the ground. He landed with a stumble, shaking his hand as the rest of that machine collapsed beside him.

His skin on his knuckles were ripped up, rendering it a bloody mess, and his arm was sore but considering he'd just ripped apart a machine with one punch things could've gone far worse.

'That component the machine used to stay afloat likely consumes substantial amounts of energy. It is only logical to assume durable plating was forgone in favor of mobility to converse energy consumption.' In other words, if these machines came in different forms it was unlikely they'd go down as easily as that one.

Apex picked up the fallen axe.

It was hefty and too rusty to be considered reliable, but it was better than injuring himself in every fight. It would have to do until he could morph his body and maintain transformations with ease. During that whole fight, his night vision had been dimming in and out, a slight burn present within his eyes whenever he narrowly avoided being sliced in half.

Combining that with any other transformation would've been pushing it.

'Agreed master, shall I hold off on debriefing you until your safety has been confirmed?'

Apex approved of her request as he took another look around the hall. There were a few different doors near the end, splitting off into different directions. Hopefully one led to an exit.

His stomach growled the loudest it had yet, the pangs of hunger rearing their heads once more.

And hopefully, there was something edible in this place.

-Route A, No. 001-

Apex leaped over an orb of dark red energy and brought down his axe with every drop of strength he could muster. Aided by momentum, he tore through the stubby machine. Laying the axe across his shoulders, Apex walked up to the rusted ladder that awaited him.

He passed through countless rooms to get here. That's right, rooms. They'd been completely empty, void of anything and everything aside from those violent machines. It was as if the entire top part of this facility had been nothing more than a front. Left unfinished to keep curious eyes from prying any further and discovering the lower sections that held him.

Heading a project in direct opposition to a government probably demanded some grand form of concealment.

That, or the project had been discovered and its contents seized. Someone or something had to create those machines that found their way down here only to miss him completely.

He sighed. Navi had held off on sharing everything she knew and he already had so many questions.

Focusing on the here and now, he clambered up the ladder, awkwardly keeping hold of his axe with one hand. The thing creaked under his weight but held. Reaching the top proved to be the easy part. The hatch overhead refused to budge, rust and dust shaking free as he pushed against it.

It took a concentrated effort for the thing to release an irritating squeak and rise.

Apex winced, a mix of dirt and light hitting his face.

Letting his already wanning form of night vision fade, he forced the axe through the small opening then squeezed himself through.

Green. It was everywhere.

Thick trees that reached high into the sky, their branches breaking off from the main trunk to form a web of branches all their own. Bushes that dwarfed him in size several times over. Grass and all sorts of different plants grew near the bases of the trees and along the roots, a sort of natural pathway created between all the greenery.

The silence of those metal halls had also been replaced by a wealth of noise. Rustling bushes, swaying leaves, and distant chirps just to name a few.

Plus, there was the sun. He couldn't see much of it due the natural canopy of wood and leaves above but a number of its rays reached him, bringing with it a relaxing warmth.

This wasn't at all what he expected.

'The size of the natural flora compared to those within my databanks indicates a degree of evolution that took place over a period of no less than thousands of years.' Navi informed him. 'Taking into account the state of the facility and current surroundings, calculations indicate that the chance anyone involved with project APEX still lives is negligible.'

In other words, he was alone.

Apex took a breath.

No, it was far too early to believe that. He had no idea where he was in the first place; for all he knew these trees hid an entire city a short walk away.

Picking up his axe, Apex took off towards one of the trees.

He needed a vantage point.