New And Improved Harry Potter

The two goblins at the door growled at him, but let him in nevertheless. He nodded his head in thanks and scuttled through the golden doors. He scoffed at the poem and went through the second set of doors.

The inside was just like Fred and George described it. All counters and marble, with small, yet mean looking, goblins running around or counting jewels and money. It was actually quite busy for this time of the night. There were men in dark cloaks, some with hoods. Others with no outerwear, just very stiff and old-fashioned suits.

He was quite sure some were vampires. If the pale skin, long teeth and ruby lips were any indication. There were a few that looked too poor to need a bank. Their clothes were patched, and they were covered in scratches and scars. There was one guy that just oozed darkness, but he was leaving. None of the patrons seemed hostile, but Harry wasn't going to go and talk to them.

He went to one of the lines and waited his turn. He kept looking around and noting everything. This was all new to him after all. He did realize that the goblins were curt and snarly and wondered if this was just how they were or was it because they were working the graveyard shift.

When the teen was finally called forward, he almost skipped to the teller. He held up his key, smiled and said, "I'd like to see what vaults I own. You see, I've had a bit to a bother and my memory has gone walkabout," he explained cheerfully.

The goblin took the key and examined it, when he recognized who it belonged to he handed it back. "Well," the surly goblin snarled, tapping his gnarled finger on the countertop, "we can do this one of two ways. You can let us do a blood test, or come back in a week, giving us time to look through our archives."

He fully expected the teen to say the latter. Most wizards enjoyed making the goblins do it the hard way. Lazy, untrustworthy bastards. It wasn't like his people could do anything with their precious blood. Well, not that they would tell about anyway.

"I'll do the blood test," our hero offered quickly, not wanting to waste his or their time.

"Very well. Snarlfist!" the still unnamed goblin shouted.

"You bellowed," came the deadpanned response from right next to Harry, making him jump in surprise.

"Take this human to do a blood test," the teller growled, pointing at a door in the back.

"Come with me, human," Snarlfist said as he turned and walked away.

"Sure thing, goblin," Harry snapped, put out that they didn't even introduce themselves. Then he remembered Luna's lecture to Hermione about putting human values on other creatures. So he shrugged and followed the shorter creature.

"You would do well not to anger us," Snarlfist stated firmly.

"And you would do well to be polite," the messy-haired boy said just as firmly.

"Just get in here," the little being growled as he yanked open the door the teller had pointed to.

On the other side of the door, was a little room with a waist high table that had a stone bowl and plain silver knife on it. That was all; the rest of the room was bare.

"Well, this is homey," Harry said, looking around at the marble walls and stone floor.

"What did you expect? Tea and biscuits? It is a simple blood test. You prick your finger, the results show and you're done," the goblin said with an impatient wave of his hands.

"Right, I just put some blood in the bowl and Bob's your uncle?"

"Yes. Only a few drops."

"Okay," Harry said as he went to the small table, took the knife and made a tiny cut on his thumb. He let a few drops of blood fall into the bowl, making sure to think the dagger clean. He had no clue as to who these guys are, but in many books blood could be used to curse you. When he was done, the potion in the bowl turned red and three vault numbers appeared above it.

"You have three vaults," Snarlfist stated redundantly.

"Thanks," the human said with a roll of his eyes. "How do I access them?" he noted that two were under Potter and the other one was Evans. 'I wonder if that's Mum's name,' he thought.

"First we have to find out why you have three vaults, when you should only have access to one." The goblin rubbed his bearded chin in confusion.

"What do you mean?" Harry asked with a tilt of his head.

"I mean, you are about fourteen years of age, and should only be allowed in your trust vault. This," he waved his long, thin hand at the numbers, "also shows your family vault and your mother's."

"Oh, well I was falsely entered into a tournament that is for of age people. Could that be it? Even though I'm told I didn't put my name in?" he asked, thinking of all the things he could do if this were true. Though with his limited memory and only secondhand recounts, his information was minimal. Though, he was glad to now know he knew his mum's maiden name.

"Yes, if magic thinks you are old enough to die for the masses, then it might be as you say." Snarlfist nodded his head knowingly. "You will have to talk to an attorney to make sure, but it is plausible." He then shrugged his shoulder, it wasn't his duty to understand the ways of humans.

"Shite, I wonder if that means I have to compete," Harry fretted, not wanting to lose the vaults, but he really didn't want to play in those deadly games. Even if what Luna said was true, and it was all about intent, he wanted some practice before he competed in anything.

"Don't be foolish, if you didn't enter your name then you are not obliged to fulfil the contract," the goblin said as he led the boy to the lobby. "We do know how contracts work, and magical contracts cannot be forced. Magic doesn't work that way, or people would be forcing contracts on others all the time, what with the spells you humans have."

"I guess that makes sense," Harry said relieved.

They came to an empty counter and Snarlfist waved his hand over another stone bowl and two keys appeared. "Everything your family owned is in these vaults. Don't ask us what, we don't know and we don't care. As long as the fees are paid, then you keep the vaults."

"So you're more of a storage facility and less of a bank?" Harry hedged, not wanting to piss him off more than he already had. He just wanted some money to spend, not pick a fight with beings that were probably fiercer than they looked.

"When it comes to the vaults, yes, however, we do make loans, exchange money, and other such services. The pure-blooded families would never let us lower beings control their finances," the goblin snarled menacingly as if it were Harry's fault.

Harry remembered the coin man from London and couldn't help think, 'Loan sharks and thieves.' He made a mental note to himself to move his gold elsewhere as soon as he could. Right now though, he nodded, took the keys and said, "Thanks, you've been very helpful. Can I go to my family vault please?"

"Right this way," Snarlfist said a bit snidely.

.....

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