Neo Soul King Yhwach

Scene Break - Moon Battlefield

The first thing Zaegar noticed about the Ultimate One of Venus was that it was hot. Very hot.

No, not the "Gal Gadot laying naked on the hood of a Lamborghini" metaphorical kind of hot. The "hotter than lava" is literally kind of hot.

It spoke volumes that he could feel the sheer heat in the cold embrace of outer space.

The second thing he noticed was that Type-Venus... wasn't particularly smart or had a special gimmick other than being a gigantic plant-like angel.

He lazily avoided a swat from a building-sized hand, which he proceeded to punch out of existence... only for it to regenerate as if nothing had happened.

Zaegar: Oh, OF COURSE, it regenerates. Wa-Fucking-hoo for a new punching bag! Yo, Grandy guy what's up with this thing being so boring to fight?!

He looked at the Grand Caster, who was busy destroying the right hand, which regenerated in seconds. That was an annoyance.

Solomon: It's because it lacks a mind and we're fighting it in space! It's an invasion-type parasitic being, so it is at its weakest without any planet to invade!

Ophis: Huh. He really doesn't take chances with these things.

Zaegar: Who cares? Imma kill it now!

He made a mad dash towards the head and punched it straight where the mouth would be. As expected, he punched the head clean off its shoulders, only for it to simply regenerate its district-sized head in a matter of seconds.

Zaegar: Damn, that's some serious regeneration

Solomon: Remember, it has to be granted the concept of death first for it to truly die!

Zaegar: Oh, right, I forgot that things don't die when killed in this place. 

Ophis: That seems to be a trend here, yeah.

Solomon: Focus!

Solomon urged, his tone commanding.

Zaegar chuckled. 

Zaegar: Right. Can't forget about Mistress and her theatrics down below. Probably weaving her dark magic as we speak.

Scene Break

Emi had quite a bit of work to do while her Servant was busy battling aliens. (She stopped trying to make sense of these rare sentences long ago.)

First, she had to locate another Master and make use of his Servant. Once again, instant knowledge and infinite mana were a boon to her as she located him immediately.

Emi: You don't look so good, Mr. Matou.

She had appeared right in front of the sickly man, who was on the rooftop of a building overlooking the river. He did a double-take at her sudden arrival.

Kariya: What the?! You're-

Emi: The eighth Master, yes. I have an errand for you and Berserker if we're going to kill that thing.

Kariya: Why should I listen to you?

Emi: Hmm... Well, how about we make a fair trade? You use Berserker, and I'll make sure those insects of yours don't have you in constant agony for a while.

Kariya: What?! Y-You know...?

Emi: Do you agree to these terms?

Kariya: ...Tch. 

He winced as Berserker instantly manifested. The black knight growled at Emi, who didn't look the slightest bit frightened. She looked amused, even.

Emi: I'll take that as a yes. Here.

She threw three expensive-looking jewels at Kariya's feet. He crouched and inspected them with narrowed eyes.

Kariya: Jewel Mystic Codes?

Emi: Yep. Consuming one of those jewels should grant you a temporary source of mana so that your Crest Worms give you a break. They should last about, eh, 5 to 10 minutes, depending on the consumption. It'll be enough mana to keep the Madness Enhancement continuously active.

Kariya: How do I know they won't kill me?

Emi: You don't. If they do, just tell Berserker to kill me as your last order. They're quite tasty, you know. Mint-flavored and crunchy.

She smirked. Kariya eyed the jewels with caution... before he placed one in his mouth. It was like hard candy, and it was indeed mint-flavored.

Emi: Effects should begin in 3, 2, 1...

Suddenly, Kariya felt... lighter. It was as if the year of "training" he had undergone was undone in that instant. The Crest Worms inside his body had stopped devouring his magical energy.

Emi: How do you feel?

Kariya: I feel... better?

Emi: Good. Let's put it to use. 

Kariya: ...Berserker.

Berserker: Rrrgh! RRRAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

Emi simply smiled as Berserker's Madness Enhancement was activated. Kariya felt a drain, not from his own Magic Circuits, but from another source.

Kariya: It really works... What kind of magus are you?

Emi: A magus superior to any magi in this war, but let's skip my prowess in favor of the plan. Do you see those fighter jets incoming?

She pointed upwards to the pair of aircraft that had been deployed in response to Caster's monster. 

Emi: You should let Berserker have some fun with them. 

Kariya mulled over his options before looking at his Servant. Berserker looked more than ready to leap into the battle.

Kariya: ...This seems too good to be true, but...

Berserker: Rrrrgh...!

Kariya: (In thought) I do have to compensate him for using a Command Seal on the church 

Kariya: ... Fine, you can let loose tonight, but you have 10 minutes at the most.

With a bestial roar, Berserker took off into battle, leaving Kariya and Emi alone on the rooftop.

Emi: Well, this went off smoothly. Thank you for your time.

Kariya: Wait!

Emi: Hm?

Kariya: How much do you know?

Emi: Enough. Zelretch spoke to you last night, correct? Looks like the odds are slowly stacking in your favor. 

Kariya: Then-!

Emi: Sorry, but I have to go. I'll do you another favor, though.

She had a rather mysterious smile as she vanished. 

In the span of a second, she reappeared at the rooftop's exit, disarmed their unintended visitor, took one of his weapons, and impaled him through the abdomen with one of them.

Emi: You should have brought Assassin~.

She smiled smugly at the shocked Kirei Kotomine before she once again vanished.

Scene Break - Outer Space

Zaegar: Uh, it's doing a thing.

The tree-like wings on the Aristoteles suddenly spread wide. Multiple objects severed themselves from their roots and headed towards Zaegar and Solomon.

Zaegar: Are those...?

Solomon: Smaller versions of itself. Rather easy to defeat, but they'll swarm us by the millions.

Zaegar: Us? Fuck you, they're aiming for me.

And they were. Zaegar rolled his hollow eyes as he was off like a shot, with hundreds of thousands of angels swarming after him.

For his part, the Grand Caster noticed some of them were actually ignoring Zaegar, heading straight towards Earth.

Solomon: (In thought) It's attempting to infiltrate and siphon energy from the planet...!

With that, he immediately flew into action and positioned himself in the path of thousands of clones. A normal Servant would be hard-pressed to restrain such a number without letting anyone through. 

A Grand Servant, however...

Solomon: Away with you, abominations.

With a wave of his hand, Solomon unleashed a torrent of magical energy, he reduced their numbers from thousands to dozens in no time flat, and thankfully most of them were focused on Zaegar, who carelessly zipped around as if it was nothing but a game of tag.

Scene Break - Fuyuki, Mion River

Emi: Well, that was that. What's next, again?

Fou: Kyu, fou.

Emi: Ah, right.

She appeared on the other side of the river where a multitude of citizens was gathered, then immediately cast a spell to go unnoticed by the crowd.

She looked around and spotted her target.

Emi: You wanted to see something cool, hm? Well, who am I to deny that wish?

With a mere thought, multiple tentacles emerged and tore Ryuunosuke Uryuu apart in the span of ten agonizing seconds. 

Emi: Pretty cool, right?

Fou: Foooou...

Emi Oh, don't be a baby. You're Primate Murder, for crying out loud.

She looked at a small boat on the river and raised her hand for a thumbs up, before once again vanishing.

She appeared on the small boat, right behind Kiritsugu Emiya, who didn't notice her while aiming down a scope. She smiled amusedly.

Emi: ...Boo.

BANG!

A gunshot. Luckily, Emi had installed a Bounded Field to herself to make it ricochet off her body. Kiritsugu frowned while having his Calico trained on her.

Emi: Nice reflexes, but we're not supposed to be enemies right now. Yep, that was Caster's Master I just killed. I think we both know what to do to kill Caster himself, no? Make haste.

She vanished after that. Kiritsugu clicked his teeth before contacting his assistant since he did indeed know the next course of action.

Scene Break

Inside the Lovecraftian monster, Caster twitched before looking down in something akin to genuine sadness.

Caster: Ryuunosuke, my Master, you have died and left me all alone. But worry not, for I, Gilles de Rais, shall fulfill my promise to you.

He raised his book, which was glowing a bright green, and cackled with excitement.

Caster: Behold, Ryuunosuke! A gift to see you to the next world... The greatest COOOOOOL!

The monster suddenly became more violent and agitated. Saber and Rider, who were busy cutting through the tentacles, found themselves overwhelmed.

Rider: Hey, Saber! We're not getting anywhere like this! Withdraw for now!

Saber: Don't be stupid! We must stop him here!

Rider: Don't be so bullheaded!

Waver: Says the owner of divine bulls...

Rider: We've exhausted our options here! Fall back for now! I have an idea!

Waver: ...Uh, Rider?

Rider: Now's not the time, boy!

Waver: Uh, it kind of is!

Rider: What's so important that-

Waver: Berserker! Fighter jet! Berserker with a fighter jet!

Just then, a hailstorm of bullets was headed right towards Saber, who dodged them at the last second. The barrage went up and started to strike Caster's monster, making it flinch.

Saber: Berserker?!

Indeed, Berserker had arrived, having taken an F-15 fighter jet and made it into his Noble Phantasm.

Rider: Oh... That's really cool.

Waver: Yeah, it is- Wait, no! Get out of the way, you dunce!

Rider obeyed the request and the Gordius Wheel got out of the way just in time for Berserker to roar through.

Berserker: AAAAAARRR... THUUUUUUUUURRR....!

The mad knight unleashed a pair of homing missiles, headed not towards the monster, but Saber. 

Saber: Tch!

She moved fast. With Mana Enhanced speed, she guided the missiles to the monster and lept out of the way at the last second, making them hit dead on.

Berserker flew past the monster and had the jet turn in a way that would kill a normal human due to the sheer G-Force... and it did since the jet still had a pilot inside.

As he was about to turn around and attack Saber again, Berserker had to take evasive maneuvers as a barrage of golden projectiles forced him to stray from his path.

Higher above, in an intricate flying contraption that would make even Area 51 pale-faced, the golden king smirked in amusement.

Archer: As always, flailing around and screeching like a banshee. Eh, Rapid dog?

Berserker: RAAAAAAAAAH!

With that, Berserker completely shifted his sights from Saber and headed straight for Archer's vehicle. Archer's Master, who was on board, bowed towards him.

Tokiomi: I shall depart and let you engage Berserker, my king.

Archer: Very well. Off with you.

The Tohsaka leaped out of the vehicle and used magecraft to glide towards the ground. Meanwhile, Archer began to entertain himself by humoring Berserker.

Archer: They struggle to resolve this matter here, yet they are not aware of the true conflict taking place above. Hmph. What impertinent mongrels. Perhaps this dog would provide some modicum of entertainment.

With a wave of his hand, his vehicle named the Vimana, was off, breaking the speed of sound right at the start. Berserker followed after him with a mad roar.

Scene Break - Outer Space

Zaegar: (In thought) Hmm... How to deal with this... Well, I should use some of those anti-Army thingies...

He pondered which weapon of his endless arsenal he would use.

Small, but deadly and controlled? Pft, no.

Over-the-top, immensely huge, unnecessarily destructive? Hell yes.

Zaegar: Time to violate the Intergalactic Geneva Convention to oblivion.

He raised a hand, opening a gargantuan portal behind him (Yes, he did it specifically to mock Archer). And by gargantuan, I mean more or less 10 kilometers long.

From it emerged a massive starship. It was slightly smaller than Type Venus, but it was amazingly more threatening in appearance.

Zaegar: Let's see how you like this, you oversized plant!

(Picture) 

With a sinister grin, Zaegar directed the Executor-class Star Dreadnought towards Type-Venus. The massive starship bristled with weapons, its sleek and intimidating design casting a shadow over the battlefield.

The Grand Caster was astonished to see such a massive ship emerging out of nowhere, before getting understandably alarmed by the mad grin on Zaegar's hollow mask.

Solomon: DO NOT aim that thing anywhere close to the Earth!

Zaegar: Relax, skippy! If I wanted the planet destroyed, we wouldn't be having this conversation right now!

Ophis: Good thing we dealt with Darth Vader before taking his ship as payment. If not, then we'd be in deep shit with the Empire.

As the Executor-class Star Dreadnought loomed over the battlefield, Zaegar's mind flashed back to the encounter with Darth Vader.

(Flashback )

Zaegar and Ophis found themselves in a dark, oppressive chamber aboard a massive starship. The air was heavy with tension as they faced off against the imposing figure of Darth Vader.

Darth Vader: You have trespassed into the domain of the Empire. Prepare to face the consequences.

Zaegar smirked, his confidence unshaken by Vader's intimidating presence.

Zaegar: Oh, please. Do you think you can intimidate us with your little light show and heavy breathing?

Ophis shot Zaegar a warning glance, but he waved her off, undeterred by the Sith Lord's threats.

Zaegar: Relax, Ophis. I've dealt with scarier things than this guy.

With a menacing hum, Darth Vader ignited his crimson lightsaber, the red glow casting sinister shadows across the chamber.

Darth Vader: You will pay for your insolence with your lives.

Zaegar rolled his eyes, unimpressed by Vader's bravado. With a casual flick of his wrist, he summoned his own weapon, a crackling energy blade pulsating with power.

Zaegar: Let's make this quick, shall we?

The clash of lightsabers echoed through the chamber as Zaegar and Vader engaged in a fierce duel.

In the end, it was Zaegar who emerged victorious, his energy blade cleaving through Vader's defenses with ease.

Zaegar: And that, my friend, is why you don't mess with us.

Ophis: Do you think Lord Yhwach is done dealing with that stinky old man?

Zaegar: Yup.

(End of Flashback)

As the memory faded, Zaegar returned his focus to the present moment, he prepared to face Type-Venus with the might of the Executor-class Star Dreadnought at his command.

Zaegar: Mmm-Hmm. Anyway, ahem... I've come to make an announcement! The planet is a bitch-ass motherfucker!

Ophis: Can you just skip the grandeur and kill it already?

Zaegar: Almost as much as a certain Ophis I have to deal with! Anyway, you wanna call other planets to deal with me?! This is my answer!

As the dreadnought loomed closer, its weapons systems came online, targeting Type-Venus with pinpoint accuracy. Cannons fired devastating energy blasts, missiles streaked through space, and laser beams sliced through the darkness of space.

Zaegar: They said you guys can't die, but guess what? You fuckers haven't met Zaegar fucking Vacío.

The massive cannon let loose a blast of energy, temporarily blinding everyone who saw it. The blast was more than enough to destroy the world itself, so it was lucky Zaegar wasn't aiming it at the Earth.

No, it was aiming straight at Type-Venus and the millions of miniature clones of itself, engulfing every single one of them in the path of the blast.

Scene Break - Earlier, Fuyuki Riverside

Emi sighed to herself as she appeared back at the riverside.

Emi: That Berserker, for crying out loud...

Fou: Fou?

Emi: Eh, I suppose I saw that one coming. At least Archer's not going to be a bother for a time.

She made her way towards where Irisviel and Lancer were standing by. Rider and Saber were just reuniting at the same spot. She clapped her hands twice to make everyone's attention go to her.

Saber: You again, Master of Foreigner?

Emi: (sarcastically) Aw, you sound so sad to see me. 

Rider: So, I'm guessing you have some sort of plan aside from mine.

Emi: Of course I do. Lancer, break your spear.

Lancer: You're joking, right? Break my own weapon?

Emi: You heard me Bitch. Break Gae Buidhe and let Saber have her left hand.

Lancer: You dare ask something of such magnitude? You insult me, girl.

Emi: Oh, I'm doing things the right way, Mister. 

Before anything else could be said, Irisviel felt a phone in her pocket vibrating. She brought it out and looked at it with confusion.

Irisviel: Er, well... I'm sorry, but how does this work?

Emi: Oh, for Root's sake, give me that.

Without warning, she took the phone and answered the call with a bored look.

Emi: Yes, I know what we have to do. Anti-Fortress Noble Phantasm and whatnot. Thanks for nothing, Mr. Emiya.

She threw the device away and gave Saber a pointed look, to which she said nothing.

Emi: Anyway, Saber's left hand has an Anti-Fortress Noble Phantasm. Do you see why she needs it back, Lancer?

Lancer: ...Saber, is this the truth?

Saber: Yes.

Lancer: Can it destroy Caster's monster with a single strike?

Saber: It can. However, do not think of the wound you gave me as a hindrance, but an honor. Your aid alone is worth it.

Lancer pondered for a few seconds before smiling.

Lancer: I see. On my honor as a knight, I cannot abide by Caster's evil. I understand what I must do.

Stabbing Gae Dearg on the ground, he placed Gae Buidhe in front of himself, alarming Saber.

Saber: Lancer, you mustn't!

Lancer: Neither Saber nor Lancer must win this fight. What must triumph here is the knight's path of chivalry. Isn't that right, King of Knights?

With that, he snapped Gae Buidhe in half, releasing a burst of yellow energy. Saber clenched her left hand, finally making a fist.

Lancer: I shall place my faith on you, Saber.

Saber: ...Very well. I accept.

Emi: Right, that happened. Well then, Saber, there should be enough restraints lifted for it to be finally released. With that, I think my work here is done.

Saber: Wait.

Emi: Yes?

Saber: To possess such knowledge should be inconceivable, even for a talented magus. Who, or what, are you?

Emi: Good question. I'm simply Emi, someone who knows a lot of things, and the Master of the strongest Servant in the war. This is all to simply amuse me, but it's pointless. Struggle and fight all you want, but in the end, my Foreigner will crush all of you. Until then, I'll give you a parting gift.

She simply pointed her hand towards Caster's monster.

Emi: Now... υπέροχη χωρική παραμόρφωση.

She closed her fist after the incantation, and Caster's monster suddenly disappeared in a flash of light. Everyone stared in shock.

Waver: It's... gone?! How?!

Emi: Wait for it... ελευθέρωση.

She unclenched her hand while pointing at the sea. In another flash of light, Caster's monster was at the spot she was pointing at, right at the open sea, away from the city.

Rider: You warped the entire thing?! What sort of magecraft is that?!

Irisviel: Could it be... Spatial Transportation?!

Waver: That's impossible! That's on the realm of True Magic! Only spells like Command Seals can do that!

Emi: Pretty much. I can't make it any easier than that for you. Now, I'll be leaving-

But before she could do so, the entire area was suddenly engulfed in a bright light coming from above. It was as if the sun had manifested in the middle of the night for a brief moment.

Just as it came, it was gone. Everyone stared at the heavens, while Emi pursed her lips.

Emi: Hmm. Must've been Dad- I mean Foreigner letting loose.

Fou: Fou, fou?

Emi: AKA Foreigner being Foreigner, yes. Anyhow, hurry up and kill Caster, will you? By the way, watch out.

With a mocking curtsy, she simply vanished. Saber's instincts alerted her of danger coming from above. A hailstorm of bullets was heading towards their position.

Saber: Tch!

She ran to the river to keep the other away from Berserker's assault. The mad knight zoomed by, roaring after her.

Rider: ...You know, seeing Archer and Berserker flying around in the sky with those vehicles makes me feel a bit annoyed. I'm the Rider Servant, you know?

Waver: Are you seriously ranting about that with what just happened?! Can't we take care of that Berserker?!

Lancer: I will go.

Cleverly making use of the astral form, Lancer vanished and appeared atop Berserker's jet. The knight growled as he noticed him.

Lancer: I shall put an end to this, mad warrior!

He swung Gae Dearg and dismantled the aircraft, but not before Berserker tore off the M-61 Vulcan auto-cannon and adjusted into it. He fell to the river and went to renew his attack on Saber.

But before he could do so, he was blindsided by three golden projectiles, making him finally retreat. Archer, standing atop the bridge, scoffed before giving Saber a pointed look.

Saber ignored this, however, and prepared herself to finish Caster off once and for all.

Scene Break - Outer Space

The blinding light gradually wore down, allowing the Grand Caster to stabilize his senses. He was almost terrified at the idea of something like that existing at his time.

He shook his head and analyzed the fallout of the event.

Zaegar and his planet-destroying Noble Phantasm were intact, with the former having his arms crossed with a raised eyebrow.

Type Venus was yet to be eliminated. The miniature clones had been eradicated, but the Ultimate One was seemingly intact, possibly having regenerated.

Solomon: So even something like that failed to destroy it...

Zaegar: Failed? Heh, don't be a dumbass. Haven't you noticed it?

The Grand Caster was confused, so he focused his senses on the alien. Then, he noticed it as well.

The concept of death had been granted on the Ultimate One of Venus.

Solomon: How...?!

Zaegar: You STILL haven't figured it out? There's no such thing as "unable to die" where I'm concerned. Everything is classified under "Dies right fucking now" and "Dies later". One more blast should do the trick, buuuuuuut I'm gonna be a team player.

With a wave of his hand, the massive starship disappeared into nothing. He simply crossed his arms and landed on the surface of the moon, choosing to simply watch.

Zaegar: Well? Go ahead, Mr. Grand Caster, do what you came here to do all the way from the future. And make sure it's awesome.

Solomon: ...I see. Heh, what a strange existence you are, but I appreciate your actions. Very well, then.

The Grand Servant positioned himself right in front of the Ultimate One. Since it lacked a mind and thought process, it didn't even register him.

But it was severely weakened, and that was enough.

Solomon: Time to end this once and for all.

With a commanding gesture, Solomon summoned forth the full extent of his power. Arcane sigils and symbols shimmered into existence around him, forming a complex array of magical energy.

Zaegar watched with a mix of curiosity and anticipation, his arms still crossed as he observed the Grand Caster's next move.

The Ultimate One of Venus, sensing the impending danger, thrashed and writhed in a futile attempt to defend itself. But it was too late.

Solomon: Ars Notoria: Time Stop.

Scene Break 

Her sword shined, a dream that all warriors scattered in battle, past, present, and future, hold and mournfully exalt as their final moments approached.

Saber: Thirteen Restraints of The Round Table: Decision Start!

She carried their will as her pride, bidding them to remain steadfast in their loyalty.

"--Approved. Bedivere. Gareth. Lancelot. Mordred. Galahad."

At that moment, the undefeated king sang aloud the name of the miracle she held in her hands.

Saber: This is... a battle to save the world!

"Artoria."

Its name was...

Saber: EXCALIBUR!

Thus fell the Sword of Promised Victory.

Scene Break - Outer Space

In an instant, time itself seemed to freeze. The battlefield, once filled with chaos and motion, now stood eerily still. Even the stars seemed to pause in their eternal dance across the cosmos.

Solomon approached the immobilized Ultimate One with a determined expression. His eyes glowed with power as he reached out, his hand enveloped in crackling energy.

Solomon: Begone, the creature of chaos. Return to the void from whence you came.

With a single touch, Solomon unleashed a torrent of pure magical energy, channeling it directly into the heart of the Ultimate One. The creature convulsed and spasmed, its form beginning to disintegrate under the onslaught.

Zaegar watched in silence as the Grand Caster's spell took effect. Slowly but surely, the Ultimate One of Venus began to fade away, its monstrous presence vanishing into nothingness.

Solomon released the Time Stop spell, allowing time to resume its normal flow. The battlefield returned to life, the sounds of battle echoing once more across the lunar surface.

Zaegar uncrossed his arms and nodded in approval, a rare display of acknowledgment from the hollow.

Scene Break

Emi and Fou enjoyed the fireworks from afar. The pillar of light was blinding, even at a distance.

She looked to the sky, wondering how her Servant was faring against the true threat.

Emi: (Mental Link) Zaegar.

Zaegar: (Mental Link) Yep. We're done here. Guess who granted the "concept of death" to an "unkillable" being? ME, DAMN IT! The Grand Guy is kind of awesome, sure, but I'm Zaegar fucking Vacío.

Emi: (Mental Link) I see. You really are a one-of-a-kind Servant.

Zaegar: (Mental Link) Tell me something I don't know. How are things on your end?

Emi: (Mental Link) Caster's dead.

Zaegar: (Mental Link) Tch, he went off the easy way.

Emi: (Mental Link) I did kill his Master, however.

Zaegar: (Mental Link sarcastically) Did you know that people die when they are killed? Oh, wait, they actually fucking don't! Triple-check that shit before you confirm a kill, you novice.

Emi: (Mental Link) Shut up and return to me, you idiot.

 Zaegar: (Mental Link) Yeah, yeah. Bitch, you're pretty damn needy sometimes, you know?

She rolled her eyes. That wasn't her fault. It was all because her moronic and beloved Servant had appeared in her life when she least saw it coming.

Speaking of appearances...

Emi: Oh, so you arrive NOW of all times? How incompetent are you?

Fou: Fou, fou!

They glared at the two incoming arrivals. Zelretch had the decency to look embarrassed, while Arcueid immediately threw him under the bus.

Arcueid: It was entirely his fault.

Zelretch: Arcueid, can you not right now?

Arcueid: The truth hurts, doesn't it?

Emi: Fucking Vampires. You can't trust them with anything.

Zelretch: At ANY rate, I see that Zaegar and Grand Caster were successful in slaying Type-Venus.

Emi: We only needed two Servants for the task, and you decided to stage this armistice. What a waste.

Zelretch: In my defense, I wasn't aware that most of the Servants were severely underpowered against them.

Emi: By the way, you do know that the Masters won't pay attention to the truce, right? 

Zelretch: I suppose so. No smart magus follows the rules, after all. There are still 7 Types to go, though. 6 with the Crystal Valley being dormant.

Emi: ...About that... Make that 4.

Zelretch: 4 of them? What happened to the other two?

Emi: Zaegar killed them. 

Zelretch: ...Uh, beg pardon?

Emi: I know. You saw that laser that flew out of the Earth, and that light from a few moments ago, right? 

Zelretch: Yes. Wait, then...

Emi: It turns out that they actually killed Type Mars and Type Pluto, respectively.

Zelretch: ...You're kidding.

Emi: I wish I was. I REALLY wish I was. That smug jerk won't let me hear the end of it when he finds out.

Scene Break - Later, Fuyuki Rooftop

Emi smiled as her Servant arrived from literally saving the world. Then, she huffed at his smug grin.

Zaegar: (sarcastically) Servant Avenger, Angry Man Jew, reporting for duty. I just saved the world, anything else to offer?

Emi: Yes, yes, good job, you.

Zaegar: Awww, I missed you too.

Fou: Fou!

Without warning, the small creature hopped off Emi and perched himself at his usual spot on Zaegar's shoulder. He gave Zaegar a pat on his hollow mask with his paw as if saying "Good job".

Zaegar: Yeah, thanks. The Grand Guy's probably returned to his usual spot to recharge mana.

Ophis: So, we're done for the night?

Emi: Nope. See, I just met Zelretch and Arcueid, who were totally useless in what just happened, and they left saying they were investigating something.

Zaegar: Typical bitches. Running away when you need them for something. Vampires, am I right?

Emi: Since you and Grand Caster were enough to deal with the Types, that got me thinking: "Most of these Servants are pretty useless and would just slow us down". So...

Ophis: You want to dispose of the useless ones and get closer to winning the Grail, right?

Emi: Yep. 

Zaegar: And we're gonna fuck the rules in the process?

Emi: Yep.

Zaegar: Now we're talking. Whatcha have in mind?

Emi: First, a coin toss. Pick heads or tails.

Zaegar: Tails. My boots have a knack for stomping on them.

Emi: Alright, then.

She flipped a coin in the air and caught it. And the result was...

Emi: Hea- Wait, tails?

Zaegar's grin widened mischievously.

Zaegar: You would've used magecraft to rig it, huh? Bet you didn't count my beyond EX-Rank Luck in that equation.

Emi: Hmph. Fine. Lancer it is.

Zaegar: You sure got it out for Lancer, huh?

Emi: E-Rank Luck.

Zaegar: Ah. Gotcha. Let's get to work, then.

Scene Break - Fuyuki Church

Risei Kotomine felt no amount of joy from what had just transpired. If anything, he saw it coming from far away.

Not the matter of Caster's rampage right before annihilation (Which had somehow been stopped anyway, according to Zelretch), but to the agonizing man in front of him.

Kayneth: Damn... you...!

The Master of Lancer, or FORMER Master of Lancer, crippled and desperate, had earned the right for Caster's additional Command Seal, and after he had claimed it, he had tried to assassinate him by gunshot.

At another time, it would have gone flawlessly, but Assassin's presence was the key to saving his own life.

Risei: How very disappointing. I didn't think the Master of the esteemed Archibald family would resort to murdering the overseer to gain an advantage.

Kayneth: Y-You... You are not an overseer! You are conspiring... with someone else, are you not, Risei Kotomine?!

Risei: Perhaps. Perhaps not. Be that as it may, Assassin saw fit to terminate you, a Master. This is acceptable within the rules of this war.

Kayneth: No, no, NO, NO! LANCER, COME TO DA-

He fell silent as Assassin's blade fell. Risei had the decency to offer a prayer for the unfortunate passing of a once-renowned man and took the Command Seal he had just given him.

Risei: How sad. Thank you for your assistance, Assassin.

Assassin: Yes... Lord Risei, our Master is in dire condition.

Risei: Hm? What happened?

???: I just stabbed him with his own weapon. Nothing that he can't recover from, really.

Time suddenly slowed down at the unknown voice. Risei found himself unable to synchronize his mind and body to react and had to stay still. The assassin was under the same effect, trying to break free of the no-doubt magecraft spell.

Risei: (In thought) Time dilation...?!

In front of them was a little girl with a dress and a happy-go-lucky smile on her face. It was quite terrifying.

Emi: Apologies for the intrusion, "Overseer". I suppose that Mr. Tohsaka won't lose much if you suddenly... disappear, right?

Horrifying tentacles emerged from various points as they brutally eradicated the facets of Assassin standing guard on the church.

Emi: Then again, I am down to a single Command Seal. How about I take that reward from the man you just killed? Oh, and yes, this will hurt.

She placed her hand on his right arm, where the Command Seals were stored. Risei tried to protest, but his body couldn't move.

Emi: Your son holds a particular disdain for me, you know. I'll allow him to take your remaining Command Seals to give him a measure of false hope. And when he thinks he's finally got me on the ropes? Eheheheh~!

Her deranged little smile simply widened as the process started. Risei wanted to scream, but he couldn't.

Emi: It's about time that we eliminate the useless variants in this war. You, my good sir, are one of them.

Scene Break - Abandoned Warehouse

While kneeling in front of his newest Master, Lancer's eyes widened in horror, feeling his primary mana source suddenly being cut off.

Lancer: Lord Kayneth...!

Sola-Ui: What's wrong, Lancer? You shouldn't concern yourself with Kayneth. He will return shortly-

Lancer: No... No, Mistress Sola-Ui, he will not. He is...

He trailed off while bowing his head in shame. Sola-Ui blinked owlishly, before clicking her teeth in annoyance.

Sola-Ui: (In thought) Kayneth, you impertinent moron! How dare you die without giving me the additional Command Seal?! 

Lancer: I request immediate clearance, Mistress! I must find whoever-

Sola-Ui: You can't! By my second Command Seal, I order you, Lancer, to remain at my side and protect me!

Having used the absolute spell of obedience, Lancer grits his teeth as he stays put. Sola-Ui had the decency to look apologetic, or so she appeared to be.

Sola-Ui: I'm sorry, Lancer, but you'll most likely be heading into a trap. Kayneth is dead, but we must remain rational if we are to win this war without him. Please tell me you understand.

Lancer frowned, but he could at least understand those motives. Still, he was not pleased with them. Not in the slightest.

Lancer: ...Very well.

Sola-Ui: Thank you. I know this is devastating to everyone, but we need to remain calm. Now, with one Command Seal, we should-

Lancer: Mistress.

Sola-Ui: Yes? What is it?

Lancer: ...There is an intruder.

Scene Break

Outside the warehouse, a certain someone had a rather amused smirk at the events that would take place.

No, this wasn't particularly goody-two-shoes or honorable, but it was pretty damn interesting and fun, and Zaegar wasn't anything if not a hollow who sought entertainment, be it good or evil. maybe a bit of both.

Ophis: Welp, being Lancer must be suffering indeed.

Zaegar: Now where did you hear that from?

Ophis: Just making assumptions. And judging by what we've seen, I hit the spot.

Fou: Fou, fou?

Zaegar: Nah, I don't give a fuck and don't care. It was fun, so I was on board. Besides, can you really offer a counterpoint?

Fou: Fou. Kyu.

Zaegar: (sarcastically) Ooooh, you kiss your mother with that mouth?

His smile widened as the enemy exited from the shadows. Lancer looked quite grim and focused on the task at hand.

Zaegar: Wassup, Lancer! nice night we're having!

Lancer: Foreigner. I did not expect you here.

Zaegar: (sarcastically) Nobody ever expects the Chaotic one, am I right?

Lancer: ...You would not happen to know where my Master is, would you?

Zaegar: No idea. Chances are that he's dead, though, since my Mistress was out for his blood tonight.

Lancer: And you allowed it to happen?!

Zaegar: (sarcastically) Oh, absolutely not! I definitely didn't give her the green light, saying, "Sure, knock yourself out, go crazy on the guy, and smile as you kill him for extra laughs"! with a big grin on my face. Nope, not at all!

He laughed at Lancer's anger. It wasn't an evil laugh, but not a good one either. It was simply a laugh of genuine amusement, regardless of the situation.

Zaegar: Aaaaaanywaaaay, I'm sure you're aware of why I'm here. It's a genuine Servant vs. Servant battle! One-on-one! Mano a, well, lanza!

Lancer: Even though we're forbidden to do so?

Zaegar: Oh my, you actually CARE about the rules?! HA! It's a wonder Caster was the first to die! Hats off to you!

Lancer: Tch. From my knowledge, you just arrived from battling the Aristoteles threat. You must be exhausted.

Zaegar: HA! Are you sure your class isn't Jester or something? Man, now I miss mocking Goldilocks, but whatever. Nope, lad, I'm still fresh. Sorry, but you're not walking out of here alive.

Lancer: One of us, you mean.

Zaegar: Adorable.

Lancer: But I cannot accept this. My quarrel is with Saber.

Zaegar: Seriously? Would you rather take on some wannabe king instead of going up against the guy who actually saved the world?

Ophis: Grand Caster, dude.

Zaegar: Hey, hold your tongue, lizard girl. I'm the one who put that thing in its grave. Well, I kinda have a job to do here, so I'm going to have to say- DODGE!

Without warning, he appeared before Lancer and punched him in the face before returning to his spot as if that didn't happen.

Lancer: Guh!

Zaegar: You weren't ready. Let me ask again: Go down fighting, or go down anyway. Either way, I win.

Having recovered, Lancer's Eye of The Mind skill made him know that there truly was no way out of Zaegar's path.

Lancer: (In thought) ...My deepest apologies, King of Knights.

Zaegar: Your answer Fuckboy?

Lancer: Do you vow that this fight will be honorable?

Zaegar: I will honorably introduce my fist to your stupid face, yes. 

Lancer: ...Heh. I suppose that is the best answer I will get from you, is it not?

Zaegar: Glad we're on the same page. 

Lancer: So be it. I am Diarmuid Ua Duibhne, the first spear of the Knights of Fianna. I accept your challenge!

Zaegar: I'm Zaegar. Imma kill you now. Go figure.

His smirk didn't vanish as Lancer charged forth. Well, he could at least humor the knight on this chivalry of his.

After all, it wasn't a fair fight, to begin with. 

Timeskip - One Minute Later

Arriving on the scene was a car belonging to another pair of Master and Servant. Saber, who decided to drive this once, frowned as she felt the signs of a battle ahead.

Irisviel: Another Servant is fighting Lancer?

Saber: Stay behind me.

Saber Shifting into her battle armor, Saber and Irisviel exited the car and entered the complex. The sounds of metal clashing echoed.

When they got to the source, their eyes widened at the scene.

The Servant who had challenged Lancer was none other than Foreigner himself. He looked no worse for wear and was smirking amusedly.

Lancer, for his part, appeared to be on his last legs. He was bloodied, bruised, and battered, but not once did he give in. 

Saber: Foreigner!

Both Servants turned to look at Saber. The Hollow within Yhwach nonchalantly raised a hand in salute.

Zaegar: Sup.

Lancer: Saber...

Saber: What is the meaning of this?

Zaegar: Uh, how obvious could it be, dumbass? I'm busy making Lancer dies when he gets killed.

Saber: After just getting back from battling the Aristoteles?!

Zaegar: (sarcastically) Sure, no need to thank me for saving the world or anything like that. Jeez, the ungratefulness of some people.

Lancer: Please, Saber, do not interfere!

Saber: What?!

Lancer: However one-sided this may seem, this is what I wished for. A simple honorable duel. Do not harbor a grudge on Foreigner for that.

Saber: Lancer...

Lancer: I humbly apologize, King of Knights, but this is a duel I intend to finish. Whether I perish or not.

Saber grits her teeth with a conflicted look before stabbing her sword on the ground and placing her hands on the pommel.

Saber: ...So be it. I shall witness the end of this duel.

Lancer: Thank you, truly.

Zaegar: Well, that went well. You're welcome.

Lancer: You knew she was coming?

Zaegar: Of course dumbass. I'm used to sexual tension at this point and learned to sense it from kilometers away. Figured you'd like some sort of closure.

Lancer: I see... Then you have my gratitude as well. 

Zaegar: Yeah, don't thank me yet. I'm really gonna make sure you die when you get killed, which is right now, pal.

Lancer: Of course.

Zaegar: That said, I'm gonna send you off with a little gift.

Zaegar raised his hand, pointing a single finger at Lancer with a wicked smirk playing on his lips.

Zaegar: Cero.

With a sinister command, Zaegar released a surge of concentrated spiritual energy from his fingertip, aimed directly at Lancer's heart. The black Cero surged forward with alarming velocity, granting Lancer scant moments to react. It pierced through Lancer's heart with unrelenting force.

The spearman, with his heart pierced, collapsed on the floor. Despite it all, he was smiling.

Lancer: So, this is it. I truly stood no chance against you, did I?

Zaegar: Ha, No.

Lancer: Heh. And yet you saw fit to grant my wish. What an odd being you are.

Zaegar: Pretty much. 

Lancer: I am satisfied. Then again, my only regret is not being able to have a duel with the King of Knights. My apologies, Saber.

Saber: Do not apologize. Your fight was indeed worthy of a knight, Diarmuid Ua Duibhne.

Lancer: May we meet on another battlefield. I am certain that the world will not end with such capable warriors defending it.

With a smile, Lancer finally faded away. Saber solemnly kept her silence, while Zaegar just blinked and moved on, uncaring of it all.

Zaegar: ...I feel like something should be said about this particular occasion.

Fou: Fou, fou! (Special Translation: Ransa ga shinda!)

Ophis: (sarcastically) You aren't human!

Zaegar: HA! Yeah, that. Anyway, that makes two of the Servants. I'd take care of the Master, but I guess you've got that one covered.

Saber grits her teeth in anger, knowing exactly what he meant. Her true Master had most likely killed Lancer's Master while this was happening to avoid any loose ends.

Zaegar: Aaaaaaanyhow, yo Saber! I'm hosting a party at your house tomorrow celebrating the world being saved by yours truly! I'll bring gallons of alcohol!

Saber: You dare spout nonsense at a time like this?!

Zaegar: Oh, I'm sorry, I wasn't aware that you contributed to fighting something like the Types. Actually, none of you idiots have anything against that, so I'm taking measures to wipe out the useless ones.

Saber: And you deemed Lancer... as useless?!

Zaegar: I mean, yeah bitch. You're welcome to try and shut me up. Then again, you're the oh-so-great King of Knights, not the King of Suicidal Morons, unlike a certain someone. Go on, I'm waiting for your dashing counterpoint that will leave me speechless.

As an extra incentive, he adopted a rather insensitive smirk, waiting for Saber's response. Despite his goading and her extreme anger, she couldn't offer anything in Lancer's favor, so she kept her silence.

Zaegar: Thought so. So, I'll keep fighting the Types AND win the war, so just rest easy and pray to whoever your god is that you get the same honor that Lancer did: Getting killed by me.

With a final mocking smirk and a wave, he was gone. Irisviel gave Saber a worried look.

Irisviel: Saber...

Saber: ...Let us depart, Irisviel.

Irisviel: But-

Saber: Now.

Irisviel nodded with a sad look. Saber merely changed into her suit and glared heatedly in a certain direction, before leaving for the car.

Irisviel noticed her husband looking at the scene from afar before she followed Saber without a word.

Scene Break - Fuyuki Streets

Zaegar had decided to travel the old-school way of jumping between rooftops for no particular reason other than to feel the wind on his hollow mask. He was quite in good spirits.

Fou: Fooooooooou!

Zaegar: Yeah, it can get pretty awesome. When I leap off buildings, I feel like I'm full of the exaggerated swagger of a black teen.

Ophis: You sure it's safe to say it point-blank like that? Enough controversies and triggers are running around already.

Zaegar: Meh. Anyone who gets offended by that sentence is most likely seething over their inferiority complexes.

Ophis: Right, talk to the girl and see if we're done.

Zaegar: (Mental Link) YOOOOOOOOOOOO, MISTRESS, YOU THERE?! HELLO?! HOLA?! SALUT?! HEEEELLOOOOOOO-

Emi: (Mental Link) QUIET DOWN, DUMBASS, I HEARD YOU!

Zaegar: (Mental Link) Never get tired of that. So, what's up shorty?

Emi: (Mental Link) Ugh. I just killed Kayneth and took some Command Seals from the priest, while also killing him.

Zaegar: (Mental Link) You got Command Seals? I thought you could make them on your own.

Emi: (Mental Link) I can, but why do that when they were right there for the taking?

Zaegar: (Mental Link) True. Wait, why'd you kill him? Not that I mind, he looked like kind of a dick.

Emi: (Mental Link) Just to screw with Assassin and his Master, especially his Master.

Zaegar: (Mental Link) Who?

Emi: (Mental Link) Kirei Kotomine. Since he resents me so much, I just want to annoy him as much as possible. Zelretch not going to be happy, though...

Zaegar: (Mental Link) Relax, I've got that one covered. I'll just raise his debt to one thousand times if he complains, which he will.

Emi: (Mental Link) And if he insists?

Zaegar: (Mental Link) Then I'll make him play Superman 64 for a month straight.

Emi: (Mental Link) Uh, is that bad?

Zaegar: (Mental Link) You naive, innocent child. Anyway, we're done for today?

Emi: (Mental Link) Yeah, we've earned some rest. We're going to kill Assassin tomorrow.

Zaegar: (Mental Link) Ugh, tracking down 100 of those bastards will be a fucking chore. I suggest we carpet-bomb the city.

Emi: (Mental Link) No, I have the PERFECT way to deal with Assassin once and for all.

Zaegar: (Mental Link) What's that?

Emi: (Mental Link) You'll see soon enough.

Zaegar: (Mental Link) Well, whatever. By the way, I'm gonna party at Saber's home in celebration of my awesome. I'll invite Rider and Goldilocks, just to see if I can annoy him.

Emi: (Mental Link) That's... actually, that's perfect.

Zaegar: (Mental Link) Yeah, of cour- Wait, is it?

Emi: (Mental Link) Yep. In fact, we'll strike two birds with one stone. Do that, and I'll take care of the rest. I'll see you at home.

Zaegar: (Mental Link) Really?! Yay! Alcohol!

He headed towards their base, satisfied with how the day turned out. While making a big leap over an entire rural district, he looked down and saw a peculiar sight.

Zaegar: Huh. Isn't that Berserky's Master talking to the old bastard?

He was correct. That was indeed Zelretch conversing with Kariya Matou, Berserker's Master, about an undisclosed topic. Suddenly, the former looked up at him with a deadpan look.

Zaegar: Welp, I'm not gonna waste a chance to annoy him!

He vanished and reappeared right beside Zelretch, who saw it coming. Kariya, for his part, almost jumped despite his condition.

Zaegar: Wassup bitches.

Zelretch: Hmm.

Kariya: Gah! Foreigner!

Zaegar: Now, calm down, will ya? I ain't here to kill your ass. Yo, old fart, did you know I-

Zelretch: Yes, I know you and Grand Caster killed Type-Venus. No need to rub it in my face more than necessary.

Zaegar: Fuck you old bitch, I'm doing it anyway. Also, what's up with you talking to Half-Walker here?

Zelretch: Well-

Kariya: That's none of your business!

Zaegar: Well, since it bothers you so much, NOW it's my business, fucker.

Zelretch: Calm down, young Kariya. Believe it or not, Zaegar can be convinced to help us with this predicament.

Zaegar: One hundred times.

Zelretch: ... As I was saying-

Zaegar: Yeah, he has a mouth. So, what's your story, Jack Skellington?

Zelretch: Hold that thought.

He waved his hand and produced a small, but powerful Bounded Field around them.

Zaegar Huh. Why's that?

Zelretch: Paranoia, I suppose. Should I tell him what we discussed?

Kariya: ...Your Master helped me.

Zaegar: She did? Huh. Good for you, lad. 

Kariya: Why?

Zaegar: Why not?

Kariya: What's that supposed to mean?!

Zaegar: People like Mistress and me pretty much go by that question. Well, mainly me. We do that sort of thing just to get a kick out of life. 

Kariya: That's dumb.

Zaegar: And you're the one with half his body in a grave while I saved the world, so who's the winner here you little bitch?

Kariya: ...Fine. Tell him.

Zelretch: Right. You see, Zaegar...

(Flashback, The Night Before, Fuyuki Church)

Zelretch made himself comfortable in a secluded room in the church, while Kariya sat at the opposite side. He cast an extra Bounded Field to keep the conversation private.

Zelretch: So, what can I do for you on this fine night?

Kariya: ...Do you know of the name Zouken Matou?

Zelretch: Zouken? Ah, the Makiri family head from two hundred years ago. How could I not forget? Then again, I suppose he changed the name to Matou now. What of him?

Kariya: He's alive.

The Magician just blinked owlishly before putting a hand to his chin. He did not look as surprised as Kariya would think.

Zelretch: Well, either he turned into a Dead Apostle, or... Well, first of all, how do you know he's much older than he seems?

Kariya: His name repeatedly appears in the family tree. Besides, given how he looks, it wouldn't be a stretch to say he is ancient.

Zelretch: I beg your pardon!

Kariya: What?

Zelretch: Hello? A thousand-year-old man right in front of you? I don't look ancient, you know. I am in the spring of youth!

Kariya: ...I wasn't talking about you in the first place.

Zelretch: Ah, yes. Ahem. Forgive me for that. I had my suspicions that Zouken wasn't who he appeared to be from the get-go, but this seems to be much more complicated than I thought. 

Kariya: B-But this isn't about him. It's about... It's about Sakura!

Zelretch: Come again?

Kariya: Sakura Tohsaka. She's the second daughter of that bastard Tokiomi, and he gave her away to a monster like Zouken! 

Zelretch: ...I see.

He wasn't angry, but extremely disappointed. If this was true, then everything that Nagato Tohsaka had worked for was for naught.

Tokiomi Tohsaka was indeed an archetypal magus. He based everything on his and his family's lives as magi, foregoing their happiness as regular people and only thought of their future lives as magi. 

How sad. Those of the Tohsaka family weren't particularly outstanding, but he believed they would never stray from the righteous path.

Zelretch: Continue.

Kariya: Sakura's the reason I wanted the Grail. I would win it for Zouken, and he would set her free.

Zelretch: You're being lied to.

Kariya: What?

Zelretch: Judging by your condition and your general opinion of him, I suspect Zouken might just being cruel to you for sport. I trust your Magic Circuits were awakened by... those things, right?

Kariya: So, you noticed...

Zelretch: How disgusting. There are multiple ways to improve the Magic Circuits, but that? That is simply an act of cruelty. Just as cruel as having the thought of goading someone like you to fight for him with Berserker of all Servants, making you suffer from the consumption, before culminating in your ultimate loss and death, which I suppose is not far away, by your condition.

Kariya: ...

Zelretch: I'm sorry about that, but it had to be said.

Kariya: ...No, it's fine. Thanks for telling me. I don't care what happens as long as Sakura gets to be happy.

Zelretch: So I've gathered.

Kariya: I know I don't have much to offer, but I'm begging you, please help me save Sakura!

Zelretch: Even if you die in the process?

Kariya: Of course.

He didn't hesitate or think twice about the issue. A smile emerged on Zelretch's face.

Zelretch: I suppose a rescue mission is a nice way to pass the time. Very well, then.

(End of Flashback)

Zelretch: After that, Arcueid and I have been investigating the Matou family house, which is obviously guarded by a Bounded Field and dozens of familiars, to see how we could carry this out.

Zaegar: ...How about-

Zelretch: No, Zaegar, bursting in guns blazing is the last option, not the first.

Zaegar: Then-

Zelretch: As is carpet-bombing it. No, wait, that's not even an option.

Zaegar: Lets-

Zelretch: NO, Don't even think about nuking the place.

Zaegar: Okay, but-

Zelretch: Are you seriously going to suggest THAT of all things?

Zaegar: Ugh! Mages, always finding complex ways to deal with simple things. Look, pal, not long ago I was on a rescue mission myself, and going in guns blazing is the best possible way to do it!

Ophis: Yeah, but these guys don't have to literally go to Hell.

Zaegar: Doesn't matter! Why are you even thinking about it, man? Just sic Berserky on the guy and boom! Problem solved.

Kariya: You think I haven't thought about that?! The Crest Worms are- Guh!

He suddenly keeled over, vomiting blood on the floor. Along with the blood, there were a few... creatures writhing over it.

Zaegar: What the fuck are those and why do they exist?

Zelretch: Those are Crest Worms. Magic energy-eating worms that expand one's natural Magic Circuits. As you can see, however, the process is agonizingly painful.

Zaegar: Hmm. Well, that's too bad, but-

Kariya: He's... He's using them on Sakura...!

Zaegar: ...Come again?

Any amount of emotion was gone from Zaegar's hollow mask, as the temperature in the area mysteriously dropped to almost freezing realms.

Kariya: He's been implanting those things on her from a year ago, ever since she was 5 years old. *cough* Every day, those things, they... they violate her! A-And she's so broken that she just goes along with it! He claims he's "educating" her, but that's just torture!

Zaegar: ...Is that right old man?

Zelretch: I'm afraid so.

Zaegar: Right. Count me in. 

Kariya: R-Really?!

Zaegar: Yeah, so shut up and get your head in the game. No time to waste. Your plan, old bitch.

Zelretch: I'm assuming that Zouken has a tight hold on Sakura, so it's best to extract her safely before dealing with him.

Zaegar: Distraction, got it.

Kariya: Wait... I can take care of that.

Zelretch: You can? Splendid, then.

Kariya: But Zouken... He won't die so easily.

Zaegar: (sarcastically) Yeah, 'cause people die when they are killed.

Zelretch: Annoying as that trend is, I wouldn't assume otherwise.

Zaegar: Right, then. Let's kill that guy- Uh, wait.

He frowned as he felt himself being summoned to another place. 

Zaegar: Command Seal summoning happening at the worst time. Hold on to that plan and DON'T start without me if you want this to succeed 100%. See you around.

With a nod, he vanished in a burst of light. Zelretch raised an eyebrow before nodding at Kariya.

Zelretch: Looks like you have the best possible ally on your side. Shall we discuss your plan?

Kariya nodded while mentally informing Berserker of the events to come. The mad knight simply grunted in agreement in his astral form.

Scene Break - Zaegar's Residence

Zaegar appeared in his living room. His good mood was gone, being replaced by annoyance. Without even reading the atmosphere, he chastised his Mistress.

Zaegar: Okay, no way you could've known, but I was pretty damn busy before you summoned me. You could've told me beforehand. I know you missed me or something, but pipe the fuck down, will you bitch?

Emi: If you would even care to open your eyes and see WHY I summoned you, that would be great.

He did as he was told and opened his hollow eyes, only to roll them in further annoyance as he saw the reason.

Zaegar: (sarcastically) Oh, jolly. What the fuck do you want, Goldilocks?

Leaning on the house's window was none other than Archer himself, sipping some wine in his usual haughty manner. The king merely scoffed.

Archer: For a mongrel, you at least have some measure of standard for residence.

Zaegar: Pft, you think this meets my standards? Bitch boy, this is 1994, it's pretty much the best I can take. Oi, Marceline, why didn't you attack him?

The vampire princess, who was drinking tea on the couch, merely shrugged.

Arcueid: He's not here to fight, so why not? Plus, he has really good wine.

Zaegar: Okay, I'm dealing with this now. Fine. What the fuck are you doing here?

Archer: Hmph. It appears that you have been successful in cleaning up your mess.

Zaegar: Oi bitch, not my fault that this world is so weak that it called in the homies to deal with me. And now, I'm pretty sure you'll get killed if you stay here for any longer. Then again, you're not the King of Suicidal Morons either, right?

Archer: A smart-mouthed mongrel, aren't you? You should be skewered to vindicate yourself for such insolence. However, I shall display leniency.

Zaegar: Hoh? You're in a good mood today. Why's that?

Archer: I thought perhaps you were a parasite, constantly begging for death at every breath, but at your performance tonight, I suppose I could reevaluate that opinion.

Zaegar: Thanks, but curb your enthusiasm, asshole. I don't need your validation to know that I'm the strongest. If you wanna talk shit, then go to Saber's house tomorrow. I'll be hosting a party to celebrate my greatness.

Archer: Then I'm disgusted to even hear your invitation.

Zaegar: Tough talk for someone who didn't do anything against Caster OR Type-Venus. Are you done? You're scaring my Mistress AND interrupted me while I was busy. 

Archer: Ah, yes, your Master. Quite the fascinating existence, she is.

Zaegar positioned himself in front of Emi out of instinct. Archer didn't look particularly disturbed by that.

Archer: I do wonder what her final fate will be with you accompanying her.

Zaegar: Nah, she'd win.

Archer: Heh. Pay close attention to your Servant, mongrel. You are well on your way. As for my visit, it was merely a whim. Do not have any illusions of amity between us, Jester.

Such were the words of the golden king before vanishing in a cloud of particles. Zaegar gave Emi a questioning look.

Zaegar: (sarcastically) Something that I don't know of, Mistress? How could you! After all, we've been through?!

Emi: First of all, this is literally the first time we meet face to face. Second of all, I couldn't take any chances with Archer of all Servants. A third of all-

Zaegar: Let me guess: You missed me?

Emi: ...Tch. Let's just get some rest, stupid Servant.

Ophis: Finally. 

Zaegar rolled his hollow eyes after glaring at Arcueid, who smiled apologetically. After that, he followed Emi to her bedroom while taking out his crossword puzzle. As they made their way, she stopped.

Emi: ...Zaegar?

Zaegar: Yes, Bitch?

Emi: ...Do I really annoy you that much by being as needy as I am?

Zaegar: Eh, you can be a pain in the ass, but with your condition, I guess it's understandable. 

Emi: I see... I'm sorry, but nothing feels the same without you on my side.

Zaegar: (sarcastically) "Let's just get some rest, stupid Servant"

Emi: I know, I know. No need to rub it in my face like that... Then again, it wouldn't be you otherwise.

Zaegar: Yepadoodle. As for that issue, don't worry about it. Just try the link before you summon me or whatever. Besides, you're gonna be on your own sooner or later. 

Emi: ...Yeah.

Zaegar: Or not. 'Cause, you know, we're gonna save your bro.

Emi: Of course we are... Haha, I can only imagine it. You and I spent a day together and watched Kosuke smile again. What a lovely dream.

Zaegar: Hmm... They do say dreams come true according to some red bitch.

Ophis: We don't talk about that anymore.

Emi: What are you implying?

Zaegar: Oh, nothing much. Just brainstorming. Let's just continue steamrolling this whole thing and win the Grail, yeah?

Emi: Yeah. We'll win.

The affectionate smile on her face was always a welcome sight. Enough to bring Zaegar from a bad mood to his usual neutral self.

Oh, well. That was enough to bring the night to a close. Now all that was left was to lie down, do some crosswords, and keep the pace going.

He had a bit of "good guy" work to do the next day. 

"Good guy" in the sense that he would get people, some of them not necessarily evil, and feel good while doing it.