Chapter 24: A Hasty Retreat
Sakura's Shadow Clone began navigating her way up the floors of the enormous tree house, nonchalantly walking past the many rōnin acting as guards. There was no rhyme or reason behind this decision; she just supposed that if she were to find something important, it would be on the upper floors.
If memory served, at this point in time, Zabuza would still be bedbound after being forced into a coma by Haku's senbon. Mimicking a deathlike state was a bit hard on one's internal organs, so this little stunt had bought Team Kakashi a week's worth of respite from any counterattacks. But even though Zabuza was weakened, Haku would be watching over him; naturally, the Shadow Clone wasn't about to try her luck fighting him, knowing that she would inevitably fail.
No, Sakura had sent her Shadow Clone here for something else...
Now, shinobi weren't supposed to kill civilians for no reason, and even though Gatō led a criminal enterprise, his cover as a legitimate businessman was still intact. If Sakura tried to take his head at this point and her identity was found out, not only would she get in trouble, she would also implicate the Hidden Leaf. Gatō was an immensely wealthy and influential man, and he would have no trouble leveraging his connections to the various Daimyō of surrounding countries to pressure the Land of Fire, which would in turn land the Hidden Leaf in hot water… and the village would in turn hold Sakura accountable for the diplomatic mess.
However, if she could find incriminating documents and expose his crimes, then Gatō's connections would turn against him, and his trading empire would crumble. Like rabid dogs, his 'friends' would bury their teeth into the delicious billionaire pie, eager to take all of the man's riches before nothing was left!
Of course, such a plan wasn't feasible in the short term, especially out here in the middle of nowhere, and Sakura having no connections of her own. So, for now, she was just scouting and looking for proof of Gatō's crimes, hoping there might be some lying around in the open. This way, it wouldn't bite her in the ass if she did try to assassinate him, and her identity ended up getting revealed.
It was probably wishful thinking, but…
No Gatō would equal no money, and no money would equal no fighting Zabuza and Haku, since they were only participating in Gatō's schemes for the money! And so, happy with her reasoning, the disguised Shadow Clone continued on her merry way, with her head held high.
Upon reaching the topmost floor, she came upon a door guarded by two samurai; except they weren't doing a very good job of it. One of them, who was wearing clown's make-up around his eyes, was kneeling and looking through the door's keyhole, while the other one, who was wearing an eyepatch, was looking away and blushing hard; they obviously hadn't seen her arrive.
The Shadow Clone perked up her ears; she could vaguely hear moaning on the other side of the door. Someone was having some sexy time…
"Having fun?" the Shadow Clone asked the pair of ineffectual guards, who started upon hearing her voice.
The one who'd been peeping jumped up, his face turning beet red.
"Ryuzō!?" Clown-make-up bloke cried out upon seeing her Transformed self. "Wha— I wasn't— It's not what it looks like—"
"I think it's exactly what it looks like," the Shadow Clone declared, before slugging him hard in the jaw. Eye-patch man barely had time to react before a flurry of fists fell upon him as well, and in less time than it took to say, 'boobs,' both men had gone out like a light.
Sakura's Shadow Clone opened the door a sliver and discreetly slipped inside the dark room, inside of which she spotted two bodies 'wrestling' under the covers of a large bed. And now, to check if Gatō kept important documents in his bedroom, where his mistresses could find them…
But it's at that moment that a loud cry shook the building:
"INTRUDER ON THE PREMISES! PROTECT THE BOSS!"
'#$@$%&!' Shadow Clone Inner Sakura swore. 'They've already found the body!?'
A dark shadow flitted across the Shadow Clone's vision; something incredibly fast had just run up the side of the tree house and crashed through the window, sending shards of glass flying across Gatō's bedroom.
The Shadow Clone threw herself to the side, narrowly avoiding the veritable rain shower of senbon flying towards her, before springing back to her feet and looking at her attacker: Haku, who was wearing his women's loungewear!
"I'm sorry, but I cannot allow you to harm my employer," said Haku melancholically. "Stand down, and I can at least promise you a painless death."
"Like hell you will!" Gatō swore, as he kicked his mistress out of his bed and tried his best to wrap himself in his bedsheets. "I want this man drawn and quartered! How did he even get this far past you, huh!? What the hell am I paying you bastards for?"
Sakura's Shadow Clone considered her options; she could hear footsteps thundering up the stairs to their location, but the real problem was that she was running out of chakra. She had started with half of Sakura's chakra, and then she had flickered and stuck to walls a bunch of times before using the Transformation Jutsu.
As a Shadow Clone, she lacked the ability to replenish her stamina passively, so she was down to about a twentieth of a Kakashi's worth of chakra. There was no way she could achieve all of the goals Sakura had set for her in these circumstances, so she decided to compromise:
It was experimentation time!
'Sorry, random mistress,' the Shadow Clone's Inner Sakura thought sadly. 'May you find a more honourable profession without your large breasts…'
The Shadow Clone began weaving hand seals as she darted towards Gatō, but Haku flickered to intercept, his long silky black hair fluttering behind him.
…
Goodness, Haku was even wearing a black choker! Was he dressing like this on purpose!?
And that is how Sakura's Shadow Clone perished: critiquing her opponent's choice of outfit… and also, by being pierced by dozens of extremely pointy needles.
… just kidding!
"Substitution Jutsu!"
In the blink of an eye, the Shadow Clone finished weaving signs and swapped places with a stool, which suffered the fate of being turned into a pincushion in her stead. She then grabbed the stool by one of its legs and flung it at Haku, who was forced to dodge out of the way!
"Manyuu Style Kenjutsu: Breast Hunt, Breast Flow Version!"
Sakura's Shadow Clone flickered in front of the unprotected mistress, who'd been thrown out of the bed moments earlier. She brought her stolen sword low, before slashing upwards, the sword's blade passing harmlessly through the mistress's plentiful chest!
"Ngh…"
The mistress fell to her knees, clutching her shrinking breasts with an expression of ecstasy on her face.
"Oooh…"
At the same time, the Shadow Clone staggered back slightly, and her Transformed form shimmered; Breast Flow was like a double-edged sword, capable of harming the user as much as their opponent! The pleasure coursing through her body was too much; so much so that she was about to lose control over her Transformation Jutsu.
And so, Sakura's Shadow Clone made the executive decision to dispel herself with a poof of smoke before her disguise broke!
"A Shadow Clone, huh," Haku murmured. "The Hidden Leaf's shinobi…"