Naruto: I Am Itachi Uchiha!

Ah, this is so uncomfortable. Another day without the internet.

Itachi Uchiha sat on the wooden corridor outside his room, leaning against a pillar with a gloomy expression. He stared at the courtyard, his thoughts adrift. How had he survived this long without the internet?

Frustrated, he rolled across the wooden floor, muttering to himself.

"Ahhhh! I don't care anymore! I just want to play something—League of Legends, Overwatch, Dota, Warcraft, Battlefield, Tetris... Heck, even Nokia phones integrated Snake game would do! Why is there nothing familiar here?!"

"...What are you doing?"

Startled, Itachi froze mid-roll. He looked up and saw his father, Fugaku Uchiha, staring down at him.

"You're asking me?" Itachi retorted.

Fugaku's expression darkened as he grabbed Itachi by the collar and hoisted him off the ground. "What are you planning today?"

Itachi crossed his arms, his tone dismissive. "I haven't decided yet. But don't worry—I'll definitely give you a big surprise. Something that'll make you go... biu."

"A surprise, huh?" Fugaku chuckled. "You always find ways to surprise me. Sometimes I wonder why I had such a brilliant kid—one who never respects me but keeps life interesting." He pinched Itachi's cheek lightly. "Don't disappoint me this time."

A sly grin crept onto Itachi's face. Oh, it would be a surprise, all right. He'd been preparing for this moment for weeks. Every day, Fugaku passed through this exact spot, and today was the day...

Bang!

Fugaku's hand closed around empty air as Itachi vanished in a puff of white smoke.

"A Shadow Clone?" Fugaku murmured, raising an eyebrow. "When did he learn that?"

"Ha! Take this!" Itachi's triumphant voice rang out behind him. Fugaku turned just in time to see his son launching a full-force kick at his... most vulnerable area.

Crack!

A sound like an egg breaking echoed through the courtyard. Fugaku stared at Itachi in disbelief, his eyes wide.

Itachi burst out laughing, stepping on his father's shoulder with one foot. "Hahaha! Finally! All those years of revenge—spanking me five hundred times, making me face the wall over a hundred times, forcing me to eat celery... It's all paid back now! Hahaha!"

Bang!

But Fugaku's body dissipated into white smoke. Before Itachi could react, he was yanked into the air and hung upside down from a tree branch. Fugaku stepped out of the shadows, his smirk triumphant.

"You think I wouldn't notice your little schemes? I've been dealing with your tricks for years. Honestly, Itachi, I've been to the Uchiha Security Department less often than you've been causing chaos here."

Itachi scowled as he dangled from the tree.

"This is what you get for talking back," Fugaku continued. "And for the record, I spanked you because you deserved it, and celery's good for you! If you keep acting up, five minutes hanging here will seem like a luxury."

With that, Fugaku turned and walked away, leaving Itachi to hang.

###

Of course, Itachi wasn't about to let that stop him. Pulling a kunai from his sleeve, he cut the rope and landed gracefully on his feet. Dusting himself off, he glanced at the sun's position before disappearing into the shadows.

Not long after, another figure silently followed him.

###

Mikoto Uchiha sighed as she watched the scene from afar. "What a strange father and son."

Itachi was growing more mischievous by the day. Still, she couldn't help but smile. He wasn't naughty in a bad way, and his sharp mind always amazed her. Sasuke would surely turn out just as talented, right?

But Fugaku... Mikoto shook her head. His obsession with following Itachi around was borderline ridiculous. If he kept this up, Sasuke might grow jealous one day. She made a mental note to remind Fugaku not to hover so much.

Stretching, Mikoto decided the weather was too nice to waste. Picking up baby Sasuke, she left the house for a walk.

###

[At the training ground]

"Itachi, your reaction time is too slow," Shisui Uchiha said, his voice calm but firm. "If that were a real fight, you'd already be dead."

Itachi frowned but didn't argue. He was sharp enough to recognize his weaknesses and determined to fix them. Without hesitation, he formed several hand seals and unleashed a Fire Dragon Jutsu—a new technique he'd been practicing.

He knew he had to be careful. His ambition burned bright, but he had no intention of falling prey to sickness or wasting his talents helping Sasuke achieve some lofty goal. No, he had to stay sharp, strong, and, most importantly, handsome. Would he let his future go on like the cannon? Absolutely fucking not!

Watching from a distance, Fugaku frowned while thinking, This boy's ego is getting out of hand. I need to bring him down a notch.

###

"Pay attention, Itachi!"

Shisui, noticing his mistakes, decided to demonstrate. In a blur, he appeared behind a wooden training dummy, delivering a swift kick that sent it flying into the air.

"Fire Style: Fire Dragon Jutsu!"

A massive fire dragon erupted from Shisui's mouth, engulfing the dummy in flames and sending it even higher. As the flames dissipated, Shisui leapt into the air, drawing his short sword and slashing the falling dummy into splinters.

Landing smoothly, Shisui crossed his arms and looked at Itachi.

"See? Basic skills are everything. Master the fundamentals, and everything else will follow."

Itachi raised an eyebrow. "I'm just not used to the teleportation technique or the Uchiha-style sword techniques yet. Besides, I use kunai, not a short sword."

Shisui pinched the bridge of his nose. "Excuses, excuses. The basics are what matter, Itachi."

Turning away with a bored expression, Itachi muttered, "Yeah, sure. Basics. Got it."

Shisui sighed, shaking his head. This kid...

###

T/N: I'm so happy to know you've all been enjoying this piece of art 😁 and it really makes me happy that you're all enjoying the effort I put into translating this fic.

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