Naruto: Hey, an alien!

He felt like an almighty GOD...

...

(Nue Houjuu's POV)

...Why do I feel immense dread right now? Like I feel that many people will jump me in the future...

Anyways, I walk towards a random road again in hopes of finding the library.

If you didn't know yet, I'm basically lost in this godforsaken place. I can't find any map of this city to guide me towards the library.

And why do I need to find the library? Well, I need to know what timeline this is, find at least some information about my enemies and why, in the name of the beautiful black gem in space, does the Hakurei clan exist in NARUTO?

~Seriously, what the heck is going on in this world?~

But now I can't cry over things I can't control. I need to find at least some kind of help in this place outside of Shion.

And speaking of help, why can't I find anybody on these streets? Before there were hundreds of people looking for my ass and now...nobody's here.

~This is starting to look like a ghost town...~

Just as I was about to give up and try to find Shion again for some help, I finally found someone!

I go towards the girl with a fiery red hair styled into twin braids and adorned by black ribbons at the top and bottom of the braids, red eyes, black cat ears, wearing a black decorated dress with green frills and carrying a wooden cart full of flaming skulls...?

Wait, don't tell me...

~Wait, WHA— OK, calm down, Nue...maybe she just looks like Orin and not the actual Orin, and if not, then my disguise will go to the trash and a nuclear bird is going to kill me soon.~

With these grim thoughts, I got closer to the girl and poked her shoulder, and she turned her head towards me.

"Nyan? Oh hello...wait, you don't seem to be someone I know, and I know everyone here....who are

you?"

~Oh thank god she didn't recognize my appearance!~

"I'm Utsuho Hakurei, the black sun! Or you can just call me Okuu!" I do a Power Ranger pose to make myself seem more relaxed and not as tense and alert as before.

She just stares at me like I'm a weirdo and sighs softly before muttering under her breath.

"Great, another Cirno...so whatcha want, birdie? Want to buy some of these bastards' souls? It may not seem like it, but they are hella tasty to eat, nya."

I'll just ignore the eating souls part...

"Oh, it's not that! I'm just...new to this place and I don't know where to go. I was hoping you could give me some directions."

"So ya a newbie, huh? Well, where nya want to go, bird girl?"

"I want to go to the library. Maybe there I can find a map to not make me like a headless chicken again..."

"Well, you just walk straight down this road. When you reach the end of it, go to the left and you will find a massive building with a church-like appearance, nya."

"Oh, thanks for the help! This place looks like a labyrinth with how big it is!"

With that said, I turned around and walked to the path she said would bring me to the library.

To be honest, I thought she noticed my poor disguise, but it was easier than I expec—

'Woosh'

"Wait a moment, bird girl. Now I answered some of your questions, now it's time to answer some of my own..."

A voice came from behind me, and five flaming skulls blocked my path.

Can't I have a little victory for god's sake?

I turned around to go face to face with the cat girl, and we started staring at each other's eyes in complete silence for a few seconds.

Until Orin broke the silence...

"Why in the name of the six paths do you have this insane amount of chakra? It isn't even being suppressed, you are just letting it wash all over Gensokyo like a beacon of light in the middle of the night.

And let's talk about your clothes and the ridiculous giant cannon on your hand, so speak up before I make you suffer the same fate as these skulls."

~Well...crap, I forgot to suppress my energy...well, time to have my bullshit abilities go overdrive.~

"Uh...it's because of my powers!"

"Your Akuma release, does nyat?" She says with a raised eyebrow.

~Wait a minute, what's an Akuma release??~

"Y-yeah, it's because of my Akuma release, it's about radiation, let me explain with more information.

Radiation is energy. It can come from unstable atoms that undergo radioactive decay.

And with that radiation, came various different types, being—"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, bird girl. Explain it in cat—I mean human language."

After saying that, she raises her hand and various skulls start floating around her.

I start waving my hand and the cannon in front of my face frantically, and I try to explain to her.

"WAIT WAIT WAIT, it's because that radiation is so unstable, that it stimulates my chakra pathways, making it start producing chakra insanely fast, to the point it makes it almost infinite! And about the suppression part...it's because of instability, that it makes it impossible to suppress my chakra."

"..."

She narrows her eyes at me, clearly thinking if what I said was a lie or not.

After a few moments of awkward silence, she speaks again.

"Show me the back of your hand."

"Wait wh—"

"For nya sake, show me the back of your hand and stay where you are!"

~...goddamnit I forgot they are shinobi. Of course they would notice something completely wrong about me...well, time to prepare for the worst.~

I slowly raise my hand, expecting the worst to happen.

Then...

'Phew'

"Nya, you passed, bird girl. I thought you were an intruder or maybe the demon that awakened recently."

~WAIT WHAT, HOW IN THE LIVING HELL DID I PASS?~

"W-wait, what just happened?!?"

"...you really don't know what I just did?"

I numbly nod at her.

'Sigh'

"In the back of our hands, there is the Hakurei seal. It is similar to the Hyuuga seal, the birdcage if I remember correctly. All it does is to allow certain secret jutsu to happen, like a spawn point, confirm if someone is from our clan, and make our dead body explode into fine red mist if we die by an enemy.

Seriously, how did you not know this? It was something that was hammered into our heads when we were children and yet you don't know any of this, nya...?"

"No...I-I thought it was a birthmark."

"...Ravens are supposed to be smart, you know, bird brain, nya?"

"Wah— wait but— how— w-w-whAT"

Wait— when did I add this seal thingy?? And how the heck did I manage to convince a Jonin or Chunin shinobi that I am innocent...

A-and she called me bird brain even though I graduated college in the past...THEN WHY THE HECK CAN I FEEL MY BRAIN GETTING SMOOTH—

'Crack'

[404 an error has occurred]

...

(Third person POV...sorry Nue)

"Uhh...are you okay? Helloooo..."

~Did I accidentally break her bird brain?~

Rin Hakurei, or what she prefers to be called, Orin, started to wave her hands in front of Nue.

Orin at first wanted to test if she was an enemy or not because she was acting really suspicious with all her stuttering and the massive chakra going everywhere.

It was even higher than Reimu's chakra, and she had an amount of chakra similar to a tailed beast, like the 3rd Raikage.

And the worst part was that she did not give the vibe of being a shinobi at all. She didn't act like one or have the skills of a shinobi, as if—not if—she probably hadn't paid attention to the ninja classes after all...

After all the questioning, she learned that Utsuho was dumb as well, even though ravens are supposed to be incredibly smart...

And Utsuho didn't even release a bit of killing intent, which is impossible because after killing someone for the first time, you start releasing a faint killing intent even unconsciously.

Oh, and she broke her mind too, meaning she has weak mental strength, making her extremely helpless against genjutsus.

~Great, another Cirno but more stupid...~

"Oi bird brains, wake nyup!"

She started shaking her violently in hopes of waking her up.

Still nothing.

"...screw it, imma put nyou in flames," said Orin, who threw one of her skulls at Nue's head.

The flames of the skull immediately spread everywhere on Okuu, turning her into a living torch.

"Unyuu!" Okuu made a strange sound when she was hit in the head by the skull.

"Why did you do that!"

"...how in the pure lands are you not screaming in pain...?"

"Wah?"

Nue looked at herself and noticed the blue flames all around her body, but surprisingly, she was unaffected by the flames.

Orin just stared flabbergasted by this because her flames are not mere party tricks; these flames are made from literal souls, so they are more powerful than the Uchiha fire release and Mist Village lava release.

But Nue somehow just got by the skull hitting her head...

At this point, Orin just wanted to go home and sleep a lot, doing what cat people do during the day.

Okuu just sheepishly scratched her head and said,

"Hehehe...well this is nothing. Anyways, I'm going to the library, so cya!"

"I'm going with nya."

"Eh?"

"I need to head towards the clan meeting, but they changed location some minutes ago in precaution of the demon finding it, so I don't know where the clan meeting is now.

I think Patchouli-san, the owner of the library, maybe is still there and knows where the clan meeting is taking place."

After Orin said that, she started walking with her cart full of skulls towards the library, leaving Okuu behind.

"W-wait for me!" Okuu said, starting to run towards Orin who was far ahead of her...

(10 minutes later)

They are seen walking normally towards the library, both were silent during the walk though.

The fire on Nue's body was gone after a few minutes.

While Orin was thinking of home and eating some lasagna, Nue was deep in thought.

~What is really my ability? I don't know about the seal part, so imma just chalk it up to black hole-sama giving me plot armor.

Amen.

But my ability part...I can remove the identity of an object and add another in its place, and I use it a lot to make UFOs and other stuff.

Then why did I not get burned by the flames before? Like, I sure they hurt like hell, but it was nothing to me, so where did that fire resistance come from? I know Okuu is completely immune to fire but I am not her...

Maybe after absorbing the dragon vein my abilities got an upgrade? Or maybe...wait a minute, if my ability was just to remove and add identities to 'objects' it would be a mere illusion, but my UFOs can shoot stuff and receive damage until it turns back to the object before.

So my ability can add certain properties of other things like transforming a rock into a functional gun, and I transformed myself into Okuu, so that means that—~

"Oh my god I'm literally Utsohu Reiuji..."

"Nyou are literally what?"

"NOTHING! HEHEhehe...look, I think I see the library! The last to arrive will KISS PATCHOULI'S ASS!"

'CRAAACK'

'BOOOOOOOOOOOOM'

After saying that, she suddenly crouched down and started flying extremely fast in a straight line, leaving cracks on the road she was on before and a sonic boom behind.

Orin was sent flying backward after the sonic boom hit her in the face. After rolling on the ground for some seconds, she managed to stabilize herself.

She looked at where Okuu was before and thought to herself out loud,

"GOSH MYA GODDAMN EARS..grrrr that stupid bird brain when I catch you I WILL MAKE A RAVEN SKEWER OUT OF YOUR DEAD BODY.

But my shunshin no jutsu aren't enough to catch up with her..."

She turned her gaze from where Okuu went to her cart.

"...first time for everything, I guess."

She went to grab her cart and jumped atop it, then various skulls appeared all around her and started pushing the cart with all their might to catch up with Okuu.

Nue will probably have a hard time when Orin catches up to her...

================

(meanwhile, in a unknown place of Gensokyo)

"Hello everyone, I called all of you because of an incident that happened today.

At dawn, we conducted an experiment at the crystal layer to see what was the brilliant light at the bottom of the crystal layer.

We sent Seiga Kaku, a controversial figure in the Hakurei clan, but trustworthy enough to explore the depths of the crystal layer with her ability which was perfect for the missi— Aya, please put down the camera."

"But this will be big ne—"

"We know this will be big news in the Bunbunmaru Newspaper but we don't want the full truth out to the public. We will discuss it in more detail after this meeting."

"Okay, Reimu-sama..."

Reimu Hakurei was at the meeting at the moment, in the center of the circular meeting room, trying to explain to all clan members the incident that happened recently.

But some are just unwilling to let her give her speech in peace...

"Resuming, she was perfect for the mission because of her akuma release, and— Koishi, stop playing with the chair."

"Aw man..."

"Now resuming again—"

"Get to the point, dratkcuf uoy—"

'BWOOOOOP'

Immediately after the person said that, an intense pressure descended on everyone in the meeting room.

Everyone felt their body suddenly gain immense weight. If Hakurei members weren't sitting in chairs right now, they would be kneeling on the ground just from the pressure of Reimu.

Reimu gazed back and forth at everyone in the room, then she let out a deep sigh and started thinking about these Hakurei members.

Sigh...

~These guys...why do I feel like a mother to these restless children? I'm starting to regret rejecting Shion's idea...It would be great to have something calming at the moment,~ she thought regretfully.

Upon seeing that everyone quieted down and stopped interrupting her over and over again, she let a small smile form on her face, satisfied with the silence. She continued her speech.

"Ahem, now everyone qui—

'BAAAAAAAAAM'

"I'M GOING INSANEEEEeeeeeeee..."

A flying bird going at Mach 2 crashed upon a wall, and like a speeding jet, she crashed upon another wall, and as fast as she entered, she left in a second.

Everyone stared at the holes where Okuu came and left. All of the people there, except Reimu, only saw a blur pass saying that it was going insane.

All of them stayed stunned at this madness for 2 whole minutes until a distant sound of laughter was approaching the hole Okuu made.

"HAHAHAHAHA THIS IS HELLA FUN! I'LL SHOW YOU WHY CATS HUNT BIR—"

Orin, who was riding her cart, passed through the hole Okuu made, but she suddenly crashed upon a barrier made by Reimu.

"WAAH! NOW LISTEN HE—

"God damn it...RIN HAKUREI, WHAT ARE YOU DOING AND WHO WAS THAT WHO JUST INTERRUPTED THE MEETING?"

Orin immediately became pale when she saw Reimu giving a very stern look at her, which promised a very bad punishment later.

Orin immediately crouched down and banged her head against the ground and started explaining,

"N-n-nya! I'm very sorry, clan leader, for interrupting the clan meeting! I just met a newbie named Utsuho Hakurei on the way to the library, and she suddenly made a competition to see who would be able to reach the library first! Or else the loser would kiss Patchouli's a—"

"NYAAA!"

"Keep my wife's name out of your mouth! I'm the only one who can touch Patchouli's a—"

'Bonk!'

"Oww, Patchouli bonked me??"

Orin screamed in agony when a book was thrown at her face. Rubbing her nose which was bleeding, she glared at the person who threw the book at her.

It was Marisa, who was starting to gather her chakra and mana in the mini-hakkero to master spark her out of existence.

Fortunately for Orin, Patchouli was next to Marisa to calm her down.

"Calm down, Marisa! We can't do this and say these things in the meeting with everyone looking at us! And I'm not your wife, goddamn it."

"Yet, my sweet Patchouli~"

"I will drown you when this is over..."

"Drown me in your delicious embrace of your body in my bed~?"

"SHUT UP, MARISA!"

Orin sweatdropped at Marisa's attempts at seducing Patchouli.

~Screw you, Marisa, with your stupid dream of making a lesbian harem,~ Orin thought hatefully.

Reimu shifted her attention back to everyone in the meeting. She deeply sighed once again and said to everyone,

"Alright, before any of you interrupt again, I'll just resume the entire speech...the demon has awakened from its slumber, and currently, the demon is hiding from us somewhere.

We will start patrolling in groups of 5 people each, and you can use a flare if you encounter the demon.

Use everything you have in your arsenal to capture the demon, but don't kill it.

If you wish to know more about the demon, the Sekibanki heads will distribute a paper showing all the information we have about the demon.

The clan meeting is over now, all dismissed."

After saying that, everyone in the room got the paper from Sekibanki heads, who was cutely holding the paper in her mouth, and started to leave the once super serious room that transformed into a damn circus in mere minutes.

"Except you and Marisa."

"I'm screwed, aren't I...?"

"Oh? My glorious clan leader wants to have some private time with Orin and me?! Do you perhaps want to release your frustration into us and do naughty things in a threesome—"

"Marisa, go fetch that Utsuho girl and bring her to me after I'm done punishing Orin..."

Marisa pouted at her attempts failing again, while Orin just turned white like a ghost.

"Alright, will go catch that girl...maybe you can reward me—"

"No."

"Why does everyone reject me..."

So Marisa stopped trying to seduce the clan leader of the Hakurei clan. She grabbed a broom nearby and infused her mana into it.

The broom started to tremble, and Marisa dropped the broom from her hands, and the broom started to levitate.

Marisa started riding the broom and made it go to its maximum speed towards Okuu's direction.

Reimu still didn't look away from Orin. There was a dangerous glint in her eyes.

She slowly walked towards Orin, who had fallen to the ground after seeing her menacing look.

Orin started to crawl away from Reimu, but it was useless...

"Reimu-sama, we don't need to do this! Just let me...wait, where did that catnip come from?!

WHERE DID THAT DRESS COME FROM?!?

NO NO NO NO REIMU-SAMA, I'M NOT A HOUSE CAT, I WON'T DO THAT AGAIN, I PROMISE!

NYOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

Nyaan~"

================

Far away from the meeting room, there's a crater at the end of Gensokyo, which was once a simple stone wall, and a person was on it.

The person was Nue, who, for some reason, was shifting her appearance to several other people she knew.

She removed her Utsuho Reiuji appearance and transformed into Reimu, Flandre, Shion, Remilia, and many other Touhou characters.

She was basically shifting into everyone from the Touhou series in mere seconds, like she was switching TV channels extremely fast.

The transformations slowed down until they stopped at her most comfortable transformation, her Nue Houjuu body.

She just continued to be stuck in that crater and had somewhat lifeless eyes as she came to a realization.

"I am...I am everyone in Gensokyo."