Naruto : Fate

"Please squirt, you ain't got nothing I haven't seen before." I remove my sunglasses.

"Are those threads?" I hear Shizune ask.

"Yes, they are." I answer her.

"Please, a doujutsu? That's your big medical case?" Tsunade scoffs at me.

...

I remove my shirt.

"You've got a lot of scars, I'll give you that. Still nothing I haven't seen before. You need to dazzle me."

I turn around.

I hear sharp intakes of breath from three people. All but Naruto. He's the only one here that has seen my masks before.

"Those are stitched into your skin. What on earth inspired you to do something so stupid?" Tsunade demands.

"Necessity. I needed something to cover my hearts."

"Your what?"

"My hearts. Don't believe me? Run a scan on me, use the diagnostic jutsu. See for yourself."

Tsunade stomps over to me and her hands take on a green glow. She pales.

"Shizune. Run a scan on him. I need a second opinion."

Shizune walk up to me and her hands turn green as well. Her eyes widen in horror. "He has... four hearts."

"And?" Tsunade prompts.

"That's it. There are no other organs in his body. Just the hearts. How are you alive?"

"Those were my results too. Tell me Alvarcus, how are you alive? You should be dead."

"The Jiongu." That's all I say.

"Don't try and fool me!" Tsunade yells at me, "I know how the Jiongu works! This is not the Jiongu!"

"It's Orochimaru's enhanced version." Shizune and Tsunade fall still. "That's right, Orochimaru got his hands on a sample of the Jiongu. He made it parasitic. It doesn't enhance my organs like the original, it devoured and replaced them. All of them except my heart and skin."

I let them process the new information.

"So, do I win?"

With pity in her eyes, Tsunade says "Yeah squirt. You won. I'll save your team."

"Good! Then my business here is done." I put my shirt and sunglasses back on. "Can I stick around Jiraya? I want to see if Naruto wins his bet too."

"Yeah kid. Stay, go, do whatever. I don't care." Jiraya says quietly.

"Cool. Oh, by the way, I'm getting my own room. I'm tired of sharing with you and Naruto." I leave the room to go talk to the receptionist.

Faintly I can hear Tsunade say, "That poor child. To go through that and live. How did he get it? Why him?"

"He wouldn't tell me. But this isn't the first experiment of Orochimaru's he's been through. It's the second."

"Jiraya," I call over my shoulder, "if she wants to know she can ask me. Don't tell her anymore."

"You don't need to worry about him." Naruto says. "I haven't really known him for that long, but he's strong. He's a fighter. He doesn't quit. He's actually a lot like me now that I think about it."

The conversation dies off.

...

That Night

Turns out I am either extremely lucky or very unlucky. The room I got is right next to Tsunade and Shizune's. I'm okay with that, it isn't like they are loud or anything. What I am not okay with is the pitying looks they keep giving me.

Knock knock.

Someone is at my door. "Who is it?" I call out.

"Shizune. I wanted to talk to you." I get up and open the door.

"Come on in. Grab anything you like, drink, food, anything." I plop back down on the couch. For a cheap hotel this is a very nice couch.

"I'm fine, thanks." She sits down awkwardly across from me.

I sigh. "What do you want to know? Ask me already. I don't like playing the political game of dancing around each other for a half hour before we get down to business."

"Are you okay?" She asks genuinely.

"That's your question? Am I okay? Not how did you get the Jiongu, not what's your relationship with Orochimaru, not what am I doing here, just are you okay?"

"Yeah. Everyone always talks about what happened to them, but never talks about how they are themselves. So that's my question. I don't care how it happened. I don't care why it happened. I just want to make sure you are okay."

"I'm fine." She just stares at me unconvinced. "Okay, I am not fine. Not even remotely."

"Why? It's obvious something is wrong, but I don't think it is the Jiongu that's bothering you."

I snort at her in amusement. "You're a smart one. You're right, I've accepted the Jiongu. I don't have a single problem with it anymore, we have an understanding between us."

"You're deflecting." Damn it. She's good. "You are trying to get me to ask about the Jiongu. It won't work. Tsunade tries that all the time and she is much better at controlling herself than you are."

"That usually works. Most people jump at the chance to learn about it."

"Alvarcus." She says with a stern tone. "Quit dodging and tell me what's wrong."

I lower my head in defeat. "I've lost so much over these past few months. Almost everything."

Shizune moves closer to me and gently places her hand on my shoulder. "Let it out. I'll listen. I won't tell anyone."

"My family is dead. My parents. My unborn sibling. I'll never see them again. Never. Do you know what the last thing I said to them was? 'You'll never have to see me again.' 

I said that to my parents, I told them I was leaving. I didn't want to, it's just they reacted so badly to the Jiongu. And... Orochimaru did something to me while I was still with kaa-san, before she even knew she was pregnant. 

They told me that day, and they implied that I was like him. Like the person who scarred my body so badly. The person who experimented with my life twice. They tried to get me to stay, they tried to get me to listen but I wouldn't. I left. I didn't know that was the last time I would talk to them. I didn't know! They came to see me in the Chunin Exams final tournament. That's when the invasion happened. 

They came just to see me. They didn't even want me to be a shinobi, but they came anyways. Even if we weren't talking they were there for me. Then the invasion happened. I don't know how, but the genjutsu used to put the arena to sleep didn't affect them. They stayed awake and a Suna nin noticed them. He killed them. I watched as he cut off their heads. I watched my parents die. 

I couldn't save them, I couldn't protect them. That's the whole reason I became a shinobi, to protect my family. I failed. I failed them, I got them killed. It's all my fault my parents died. I just want to see them one more time. Just to say goodbye, just to let them know I still love them."

While spilling my guts out Shizune enveloped me in a hug. She just let me talk while slowly rubbing my back. How long has it been since someone has actually touched me like this? When was the last time someone hugged me?

"That's not even all of it. Sakura is dead too. My teammate, dead and desecrated. She was killed on purpose. I know it. She was given to me in a body scroll. I don't know why! Why did Sakura have to die? Why would she be killed! She never even did anything noteworthy! Sasuke and I did all of the fighting! He's the last Uchiha and I have a kinjutsu! Why would they target her? Why?" I sound so broken and defeated.

"I lost so much in five minutes. My entire life has changed. Where ever I go now all I see is pity. Either pity for my parents deaths, pity for Sakura, or pity for the Jiongu. No one just sees me anymore. Alvarcus doesn't exist, he started dying when Orochimaru shoved his fist into my gut and gave me the Jiongu and it only got worse. Now all that is left is me, a broken husk of who I used to be. I don't even look the same. I could walk right past my former self and he wouldn't even blink."

I grip Shizune tighter.

"Kakashi-sensei and Sasuke are both stuck in an unbreakable genjutsu. They are the only people I have left. Sasuke is like a brother to me, and Kakashi like a weird uncle." I chuckle a bit at that thought. Kakashi and uncle? Yeah right. "Tsunade is my only hope to save them. I don't even know if she can. I could be alone. I could have no one left to call mine. I don't want to be alone."

~The host is never alone.~

"Oh and get this! My best friend isn't even Sasuke. Its the damn Jiongu. It is the only one that actually understands me, the only one that knows my darkest secrets. It shares in my pain, it feels what I do. It talks to me, reassures me. Defends me, looks out for me. A thread parasite. The thing that ate my body. 

The thing inside me. How sad is that? It is the only one that will never leave me, the only one that will always be there. Till the day we die. And the worst part? I'm glad it's there now. I'm glad I got it, because no matter what I do it will remain. The one constant in my life. How pathetic."

I just sit there in Shizune's arms. She keeps holding me, never once faltering. Never judging. Just listening. The silence stretches on for minutes.

"Do you feel better now?" She asks me.

"You know, I think I do. Thank you for listening Shizune." I do feel better. It is like a weight has been lifted off my back, one that I had no idea was there. I just kept it bottled up inside, letting the pressure build and build until the glass container finally shattered.

"You're welcome. Sometimes all you need to do to feel better is let it out." We break our hug.

I wipe my face dry. I was crying on Shizune. How embarrassing.

"Hey Shizune? Can you not mention this to the others? I don't want them to know."

"I won't." She gets suddenly very serious. "Under one condition. You need to find a healthy outlet. Keeping things inside is not a good idea. Find a hobby, go out and make more friends, something. You can't go on like this forever, it's no way to live."

"I will. You know," I grin cheekily at her, "I could take after Tsunade."

"NO! You are to young to drink and even then it is a terrible outlet!"

I start laughing at her.

"Oh, you brat! Don't scare me like that!"

"Please, it was just too easy!" I calm myself down.

"Alright Alvarcus," Shizune says while standing up, "I've got to go back to Tsunade. Someone has to keep her in line."

"See ya, Shizune. Thanks again for listening." She waves over her shoulder at me.

That night was the first night in weeks that I didn't have a nightmare.

...

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