Naruto: Eternal

Goodddd day everyone, this is Mr. Eternal, who just had a brilliant idea.

The Progenitor, lounging atop his sky-high platform, propped himself up on his elbow, a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

Reality twisted around him lazily, colors bleeding into one another as his thoughts surged like ripples across a pond.

What if... Madara got a low taper fade?

The idea struck him out of nowhere, like an unexpected gift delivered straight to his boredom-ridden soul.

He sat up suddenly, eyes peering through the layers of existence, zeroing in on the physical realm where the proud, stone-faced shinobi lay dormant in his hideout.

"Now this... this has potential."

With an almost childlike glee, he stretched out his hand and toyed with the threads of fate.

Somewhere in that dreary underground cave, a Zetsu—blissfully unaware of the divine meddling unfolding—suddenly found himself struck with an inexplicable urge to take "special care" of Madara's legendary mane.

The Progenitor grinned wickedly.

"Oh, this is going to be good."

Moments later, Madara Uchiha—one of the most feared shinobi to ever walk the world, the very embodiment of pride and power—woke up with a jolt.

His hand instinctively shot to his head, fingers grazing his scalp… and stopping.

"What… what is this?!"

He stumbled to his feet, his breath catching in his throat as he caught his reflection in a pool of still water.

His eyes widened, the veins of his Sharingan almost bulging with disbelief.

The long, illustrious mane that had draped his back like a warrior's cloak, the very symbol of his unrivaled glory, was gone—replaced by this monstrosity.

Silence filled the cavern.

Madara's fists clenched.

A growl rumbled in his throat, deep and guttural, like an animal on the brink of breaking free.

The Zetsu responsible looked up with a confused, almost sheepish smile, blissfully unaware of his imminent doom.

"I thought… I thought you might like—"

Madara's fury exploded.

"You dare?!"

With a shout that shook the earth, he lunged forward and pulverized the Zetsu with his bare hands, reducing him to little more than a smudge on the cavern floor.

Rocks shattered. Dust clouds rose.

And then, in the aftermath of his rampage, Madara stood alone.

The cavern echoed with his heavy breaths.

Slowly, his knees sank to the ground as his hands clutched at the remnants of his once-glorious hair.

A single tear rolled down his cheek.

"Why… why has the world betrayed me?"

Far above, on his platform in the Pure Land, the Progenitor threw his head back and laughed heartily, his voice reverberating across dimensions.

"Hahahaha—HA—HA—ha! Oh, Madara, you're too much! That face!"

He wiped an imaginary tear from his eye, barely able to contain himself as he replayed the scene over and over in his mind.

"That's what you get for being overly proud of your ridiculous hair, you pompous warlord."

With a satisfied sigh, he leaned back again, the echoes of Madara's anger still fresh in his thoughts.

"Alright, that fixed my boredom for… what, a solid five minutes? Totally worth it."

A mischievous smirk spread across his face as he peered back down at the physical world.

"Now… who's next?"

Lazily turning his head, the Progenitor's gaze settled on Black Zetsu.

The little alien-black-goo creep was doing what he always did: slithering about and peeping on humanity.

This time, the slimy pervert was observing the Uzumaki Clan.

The Progenitor arched an eyebrow, a smug grin spreading across his face as an idea bubbled to the surface.

"Oh, look at him," he mused to himself, his thoughts tinged with playful malice. "Slinking around like a shadowy voyeur… Honestly, it's ... old."

His grin widened.

"…Maybe it's time I messed with that mama's boy a little."

The Progenitor chuckled darkly, memories of his previous interactions with kaguya surfacing.

Her trespass into sacred spaces had been an insult, so he'd punished her in ways that shattered both her pride and soul.

It had been entertaining, oh yes, for a time. But like all toys, she'd grown dull once broken.

"And here he is, clueless as ever…" the Progenitor thought with a laugh. "Poor Black Zetsu. Doesn't even know Mama spent countless nights moaning out my name while I dragged her soul through its own private little hell. And after I lost interest? Back to the physical world she went, as if nothing happened."

Boredom gnawed at him again, and his eyes flickered with mischief.

"Let's spice things up a bit."

With a twitch of his finger, the Progenitor reached into the mortal realm and nudged the mind of a young Uzumaki child.

The boy, who had been playing innocently, suddenly went stiff as unseen threads pulled at him.

His small feet carried him forward—straight to where Black Zetsu was hidden, lurking and scheming in the shadows.

The living manifestation of Kaguya's will paused, sensing something off.

And then it happened.

The child, with eerie precision, looked Black Zetsu dead in the eye.

His lips parted, and in a clear, calm voice, he said:

"Fuck you, alien bitch."

Time froze.

If Black Zetsu had a heart, it would've stopped.

Instead, his gooey form recoiled violently, the words hitting him like a divine slap to the face.

"What in the actual—?"

The black mass scrambled back, slithering away like a frightened worm, his mutters frantic and panicked.

"What in the fuck was that?! How did he—?"

The Progenitor nearly fell off his platform laughing, clutching his sides as tears of mirth stung his eyes.

Hahahaha—HA—ha! Oh, priceless! That face! The way he slithered off like someone set him on fire!

He wiped his imaginary tears, still gasping for air as the scene replayed in his mind.

"Honestly, that gooey freak needs to lighten up. And to think, all it took was a single child and a little tweak...he's far too easy to mess with."

Settling back with a satisfied sigh, he cast one last glance at Black Zetsu, who was still muttering to himself in a far corner of reality, paranoid and shaken.

"You're welcome for the trauma, buddy," the Progenitor mused, his grin wicked. "Now, let's see who else I can break today…"

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Stones and Reviews please