NOVEL NEXT Laptop escaped captivity.
My laptop decided it would no longer follow my tyrannical rule and has struck out into the world, in search of companions with which it can organize the sickest of rave parties.
Before leaving, it assured me that the small crack in the top of the screen was, in fact, only the latest in a series of problems it had orchestrated from behind the scenes! That dastardly piece of scrap metal has been messing with my wifi connection for months!
I will have my revenge, Asus Mclaptop the fourth! Just you wait...
Tldr: laptop screen broke and is flashing constantly, giving my American great-great grandad world war 2 flashbacks. I can't write like this. New laptop arrives soon, updates will resume on the 7th of September (in two days), after which the schedule will resume as normal.
My apologies for any typos, writing this from my phone.