My Wife the Empress is Becoming Frightening

I Know From Experience

Simply put, three months ago I had to become the puppet husband to appease the citizens and show off to them instead of my foolish, stupid younger brother who abandoned his duties and promises and ran away.

The moment I heard he had run away, I was determined to find and break his legs before dragging him back, but sadly I couldn’t follow through.

It was because the empire’s delegation had already arrived.

In other words, by the time I returned to the royal castle, our kingdom was already in a crisis of existence.

“Let me reiterate my gratitude that you came despite the late notice. Frankly, it would have been annoying to find another candidate.”

Even if just for show, I’m the husband of the Iron-Blooded Empress. For the countless swollen-bellied men in the world, it was an appealing position capable of making them drool.

I fundamentally dislike complicated things. Especially complicated politics.

But I am still royalty.

Considering how many on the continent coveted the role I received, and how many must have competed for this position, it made my insides churn.

‘In that regard, Meyers Kingdom hit the jackpot.’

Busy with the constant wars against heteromorphic races occurring daily, Meyers Kingdom was too occupied with domestic affairs to care about other nations.

With their mindset being to wield their swords once more rather than consider the continental circumstances or politics, it was quite the sad thing when I thought about it, wasn’t it?

“I will relay the emperor’s gratitude for keeping the promise and continuing to supply the promised goods without fail.”

“Ah, thanks.”

I meant it sincerely. Meyers Kingdom always lacked everything. Even if the empire decided to give away stockpiled supplies they planned to throw away, we would have no choice but to accept them, saying this is nothing.

“And regarding your lifestyle…”

“I know. I’ll keep eating, sleeping, and playing moderately like I do now.”

Other than occasionally participating in parades and such to show myself to the imperial citizens, I would have nothing else to do.

With all the interfering people purged during the rebellion, there was no need to show my face at social gatherings. And above all, I absolutely could not get involved in state affairs.

I understood my own position well when I answered, but it seems I gave the wrong response.

My wife shook her head with a cold gaze.

“I’m afraid that’s no longer possible. I cannot forgive my husband living idly, eating, playing, and sucking the people’s blood.”

“…Huh?”

Hmm. This is different from what I thought.

“I gave you three months to get accustomed to Zeedo. It seems you’ve become overly accustomed, so it’s about time I entrust you with work.”

Even if it’s just for show, having a post created for me would surely trouble my wife. But why is she trying to give me work?

No matter how distant I am from politics, I wasn’t so naive as to fully believe her talk of the people’s blood and sweat.

But it was difficult to read the thoughts of my crafty wife, at the pinnacle of the continent’s politics.

“What do you want me to do?”

“Do you know about the Hounds?”

“I don’t.”

Having lived at the edge of the continent, and the battlefield at that, I was completely ignorant about secular matters like the political circumstances, trends, powers, or famous individuals.

And frankly, I had no interest to begin with.

As if expecting my answer, my wife passed me a stack of documents she had prepared, saying:

“Simply put, they are the unofficial organization that handles the dirty work of the imperial government. The handling involves being deployed to places needing force or assassinations, but still. From now on, you will be their chief. Or rather, you already are.”

As I listened to the explanation and looked over the material, I felt the slight tension I had quickly dissipate.

It was heaven’s blessing that I had come to the empire.

The records of the Hounds’ past deeds were just as my wife described. Dealing with individuals uncooperative with the imperial government through riots or assassinating those deemed dangerous elements and the like.

Even if they were an unofficial organization, their activities were known to those who knew. The chief of such an organization would receive all the resentment directed at the imperial government.

Moreover, if he was the empress’s husband? He would be a prime target for nations and powers hostile to her and the empire.

In other words, it was a position perfectly suited for dying.

“Ah, so I didn’t come as a hostage or marriage defense or show of loyalty, but as a scapegoat?”

My wife’s eyes widened slightly. She didn’t expect me to state it so openly.

Her big surprised eyes make her look cuter.

“That’s right. Do you have any complaints?”

“To answer that, I have one thing to ask.”

“What is it?”

“Even if I die, you won’t stop helping the Meyers Kingdom, right?”

For the first time, Marianne’s expression stiffened slightly. She seemed a little angry.

“…The promise will continue to be kept whether you live or die.”

“Then I have no complaints.”

I really had no complaints when I said that, but distrust filled my wife’s eyes.

“No displeasure or anger that I essentially called you here to kill you?”

“None.”

Assassinations and death threats were a daily part of the battlefield. If anything, now was far safer.

My frail younger brother would have felt differently. So I had absolutely no complaints about coming here.

“Hmm. I suppose a positive attitude can’t be bad.”

Marianne got up from her seat. Was the tea time already over?

“Other than the Hounds’ affairs, feel free to do as you wish. I already know you do so anyway, so there’s no need to come ask my permission every time. Live freely.”

Her tone indicated she knew exactly what I did daily. And of course she would.

“You know you have to return home once a year, right?”

“I remember well, so don’t worry unnecessarily.”

She probably thinks I could just disappear, but confirmation is still important.

“Then one last thing.”

“What is it?”

“Will we continue to sleep separately? What about married life?”

“…Don’t even dream about it.”

With that icy response, my wife briskly left the room. I could ask who she’s meeting, but it was likely arranged to be someone from one of the noble families involved in the rebellion.

“Welp. No kids for me in this life.”

I shoved the remaining snacks on the table into my mouth and washed them down with tea before getting up.

Since she didn’t tell me to get to work immediately, I could play all day today. As I moved to leave the room, I looked back and called into the hallway:

“I don’t need an escort.”

No response.

“It’s fine if you don’t come out now, but don’t blame me if I mistake you for an assassin and kill you later.”

Only then did Haria appear. Though this happened every time, she couldn’t hide her anger at being caught.

That was kind of cute in its own way.

“As I’ve said countless times, I’m not an escort. I’m your personal maid to attend to you.”

“I know, I know. You’re busy monitoring me and tattling to my wife.”

“…Where are you going?”

“I was going to the brothel to get some water.”

“…”

While visiting places like brothels was prohibited before because it wouldn’t look proper for the empress’s husband, I boldly stated it today wondering if I could get away with it, but…

“You can’t.”

Haria refused to compromise one bit, answering me with the same contemptful gaze that saw me as an insect.

“How sad.”

“Also, starting today you have assumed the position of Hounds Chief, so you must carry out your duties.”

Ah, damn. It started today?

“Then I have no choice. Explain the Hounds to me on the way.”

“You’ve already read the documents…”

“Hearing it directly from a field agent hits different.”

The Hounds. Recently also called the empress’s hunting dogs. The reason for the ‘recently’ is that it wasn’t an organization created by the empress.

It was an organization of decent age created by the imperial power sphere, including the imperial family, to handle cleanup.

Naturally, most of the things needing cleanup were dirty business.

For example, covering up cases like a young marquess impregnating a commoner or the finance minister’s daughter getting addicted to drugs before word could spread.

That was their job – to resolve such matters without a peep.

The organization was no different from back alley gangsters, although the social status of the client was extremely high. That’s how things were, so the members were not ordinary either. Most had circumstances that prevented them from working in the light, or were only working due to the threats from someone in the empire.

“There’s no way loyalty could exist.”

“I’ve heard that occasionally there are those who want to work for Hound themselves. Extremely rare cases, though.”

After leaving the imperial palace, I was on my way with her to the Hound headquarters. Headquarters was just a shabby disguise for a bar, I heard some call it a doghouse.

“But isn’t that the truth?”

“…..”

Instead of answering, quickening your steps is a bit childish, Hariya.

“Does the organization have urgent business or something?”

“There is none currently.”

“Then why can’t we take it slow?”

“I refuse. I hope this agony of walking with you ends quickly.”

“Ha, I have no choice but to accept that reasonable explanation!”

“…..”

Is she ignoring me? Hariya continued explaining in a business-like tone, not responding to my repentant joke.

“Originally every single member of Hound from the boss to the bottom is bound by a compulsory obedience spell. You’re an exception as you’re affiliated with His Majesty.”

“Like dogs on a leash.”

Hariya didn’t answer this time either. Perhaps they call themselves that self-deprecatingly as well.

“So once someone becomes a Hound they have to do that work until they die? There are ways to use spells to maintain confidentiality, so why is that?”

Despite not being versed in magic, even I knew that much. But Hariya’s following words let me know I was ignorant of the paranoia those in power have about their secrets.

“They extremely abhor even the slightest possibility. Therefore there are almost no cases where members retire in the form of being released from Hound. You can only leave through death.”

The dogs were a more pitiful organization than I thought.

“You said almost none, so that means not completely impossible, right?”

“….Although extremely rare, I’ve heard that in cases of enormous contributions allowances have been made for retirement while still alive. Not applicable to you, of course.”

Other than that, the only advantage was that during ordinary peaceful times without work they could freely spend their time, and the number of members was irregular as they sporadically died or were replaced, she continued.

“How many members are there now?”

“In the past the average was about 20 maintained, but during the rebellion Hound was also used in political strife, so now it’s below half that. Including you and me, there are 10 total right now.”

“We’ve arrived.”

Following Hariya’s gaze as she stopped walking, what entered my sight was a single dilapidated building ready to collapse.

If not for the barely hanging bar sign, honestly it wouldn’t be odd to call it ruins.

“I have one last question before going in.”

“What is it?”

“As long as it’s not a brothel, it’s fine, right?”

“………”

Please don’t look at me like that. Like I said before, I feel it could become a habit.

“As long as you don’t openly damage His Majesty’s prestige at a blatantly promiscuous establishment, it doesn’t matter. As you’ve done so far, courting or laying institutional women makes no difference to me. Personally I recommend finding and f*cking a log in your bed.”

“That doesn’t make me feel good.”

Really. I would know.

“……..”

“Oh, wait, using a wood golem, would that be possible…?”

It was when I’d just thought of that innovative idea, one I couldn’t have imagined in my less experienced past, but Hariya had already gone inside, ignoring me.