My Room Has Become a Dungeon's Rest Area (LN)

The three of us knelt on the wooden floor of the temple’s main hall.

Tateishi and Kuno were the picture of seriousness.

But maybe because she liked the temple atmosphere, or maybe because she found it interesting, the slime that I was wearing as my clothes was jiggling subtly, enjoying herself.

No evil spirit could beat out an upbeat rhythm like this in the main hall of a temple.

「I’m telling you, it’s all a misunderstanding!」

「No, it absolutely is a ghost.」

Many people, being seriously told by a beautiful Japanese girl in white clothes washed in cold water that ‘It is a ghost’, would probably believe her.

If Shizuku hadn’t been beating out her upbeat rhythm, even I might have ended up inadvertently believing her.

Tateishi seemed to be offering to perform the exorcism for free, but if she’d been a greedy priest, she probably would have demanded loads of money.

Temples seemed to be profitable both in the other world and in Japan.

「Do you have proof that the ghost is doing bad things?」

「Before, a strange person wearing a mask, hat and sunglasses came to meet Suzuki after they’d eaten at the restaurant, saying that they wanted to thank the chef. Do you remember that?」

「Oh yeah…… That.」

Of course I remember it.

「The truth is, that person wearing the mask, hat and sunglasses is not of this world.」

Huh? A person who’s not of this world?

Timidly, Kuno asked Tateishi in a small voice, 「Really?」

「No…… That was……」

What had really happened was that Shizuku, after taking on my appearance and starting my work in the kitchen, had put on a mask, hat and sunglasses to play the part of a customer and summoned the chef, saying that she wanted to meet him.

The ‘person who’s not of this world’…… was actually just me……

「Without doubt, it’s a ghost.」

Tateishi was turning me into a ghost. Kuno gulped.

This is no good. Tateishi…… might have been born in the temple…… but clearly she has no feeling for the supernatural at all.

「Suzuki, I’m going to go to your house now and cleanse it.」

「Whaaaaat?」

Apparently Tateishi intended to purify the apartment block where I lived.

Of course it has a lot of issues, but I get the feeling that they’re not caused by ghostly phenomena. Even that shady estate agent knew that the apartment didn’t have ghosts.

「N-no…… but…….」

When I tried to refuse, Tateishi smiled sweetly.

「Don’t worry about a thing, Suzuki. For the time being, this will……」

「For the time being?」

「I was born in the temple, after all.」

Tateishi was always so composed, but her smile was absolutely adorable. She’s probably trying to put me at ease.

But however much I think about it, she’s T from the temple, and she has no sense of the supernatural.

「Well then, let’s head to Suzuki’s haunted apartment!」

At Kuno’s fighting words, the two of them rose valiantly. I got to my feet like a zombie.

♦︎ ♦︎ ♦︎

We arrived at the road in front of my apartment block.

「Is this the place? The ghost is giving off sinister energy」Tateishi muttered, her expression the picture of seriousness. She was wearing a coat on top of her white clothes.

「I s-see.」

Is that so she doesn’t catch a cold?

「All right, well, I’m a guy living alone, so I’m just going to go and clear up in my apartment quickly. I’ll be right back.」

「Okay.」

I got the two of them to wait by the road in front of the apartment block.

Never mind Kuno, having Tateishi – a female high school student – coming into my room is…

Up until three days ago, it was in no state for me to invite Japanese people inside. That’s because Ria, Deet and Miri – people from the other world – were there.

But now they had gone.

When they were here, their being here was a problem, but now that they’ve gone, I’m lonely without them around.

That’s why I was happy to have Tateishi and Kuno come to visit. Mainly Tateishi. Thinking this, I put my key into the lock of my apartment door.

Huh? That’s weird!?!

Maybe I went out without locking my door. It wasn’t locked.

I sometimes did that, so it wasn’t that strange. I went into my apartment.

「There’s probably no-one there, but I’ll say ‘I’m home!’ anyway. H-huh?」

Somehow……I feel like there’s someone here.

「U-um…」

I heard a voice that I recognised coming from the direction of the Western-style room. The light in that room was on.

There were crisp packets and cans of Ultra Dry next to the pillow, and someone was sleeping there. …I know who that ‘someone’ is.

「She’s r-radiant…」

The figure of Deet in bloomers, her thick hair tousled, emerged from the bed.

「Oh, Thor! You came home. Welcome baaack!」

「Deet, wh-wh-wh-why are you…」

「Should I not have come back? I came here because I’m going all the way down to the deepest levels of the dungeon. I can’t get from the first floor to the fifth floor in one go.」

「I know that, but you’ve got a key, Deet. Can’t you go in at the first level underground and come out at the fifth level straight away?」

There shouldn’t be any need for you to sleep in my bed and drink beer and eat crisps.

「Come on! I came to see you, Thor. I bet you missed having me around, right?」

She put her arms around my neck and brought her face close to mine.

She stinks of alcohol. Getting a better look, I realised that there were containers of Red Crane cooking sake scattered about underneath the bed. This elf has adapted to the Japanese lifestyle, all right.

That’s when it happened.

「Eeeeeeeeeeeeek!」

I heard a shout from the bathroom. I recognised this voice, too.

「Ria?!」

「Yeah, now you mention it, she turned up after me. I wonder what’s wrong with her?」

This is no time for talking! She just screamed! I ran to the bathroom.

「What’s wrong, Ria?!」

The second I opened the frosted glass door to the bathroom, I was soaked by the shower’s violent Water Attack.

「S-Sir Thor! I’m sorry. It’s been a while, so I mixed up the cold and hot water again. And the water’s on the highest setting……」

「N-no, that’s fine, but……. Um……」

「Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek!」

Ria crouched down, hiding her heavy boobs.

「Atchoo! Be careful.」

「Okay, okay.」

As I left the bathroom, a towel came flying at my drenched face. Today’s starting pitcher was Deet.

「Jeez! I can’t believe you’ve been getting it on with Ria already, Thor! You haven’t done anything with me!」

「It wasn’t on purpose!」

「Hmph! I’m going to sleep until dinner, so don’t wake me up!」

Is my apartment your rest stop?

Well, even if they were using my apartment as a rest stop, I was still happy to see the two of them.

I could tell that they were going to be visiting for a while.

And I got to see something special, too.

However, I had the feeling that I’d forgotten something important.

– Ding dong, ding dong!

It was the intercom. Who could that be?

「Suzuki! Are you okay? I heard a scream! Was it the ghost?!」

Aw crap. It’s Kuno!

I’d completely forgotten about Tateishi and Kuno.

My ability to think had deserted me thanks to my lack of sleep.

「Who is it?」

The elf in gym shorts looked suspiciously towards the entrance hall.

「Deet. Will you get in the closet in the Japanese-style room for a bit?」

「Why? Who is it?」

「A colleague from my part-time job.」

「Really? Then I’ll go and say hi.」

Deet was more courteous than I expected.

「No, didn’t I tell you that there are no high elves in Japan?」

Not to mention that women in their early twenties wearing gym shorts only exist in this special environment.

I pushed Deet towards the Japanese-style room.

「Hey, wait!」

I opened the closet, where I kept loads of adult books.

Deet’s going to find me out, but you can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs, I suppose.

「Sorry. Hide in here for a bit.」

「You owe me big time.」

「Don’t say freaky things like that. What do you want from me?」

「Two banana chocolate cream crepes.」

That’s nothing. She’s such a kid.

「Okay, got it.」

「You better come back quickly!」

I’d ended up hiding not only erotic doujinshi in my apartment closet, but also a beautiful real-life elf dressed in gym shorts.

「Suzuki! What’s wrong?!」

「Nothing, nothing. I’m on my way now.」

♦︎ ♦︎ ♦︎

「Here, have some black tea.」

Tateishi and Kuno were sitting across from me at the table.

I handed them some morning tea.

「Thank you. This feels like a pretty normal apartment block, doesn’t it?」

「……」

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