My Heart Beats For You,

A feeling of taking a new step in a completely new direction without having any hunch about the outcomes, whether they'll be good or bad, or even nothing to get, is called "taking a risk."
Dean is facing a similar situation where he's not able to understand what to do; he did wish to meet Amelia's family. Currently, he is unable to take the next step. He has a slight hesitation about telling Roman that he's the recipient of Amelia's heart. Somewhere within him, he disagrees with telling the man. Perhaps he is afraid of the outcome, considering different scenarios including Roman having hateful eyes and Ayan looking at him as a selfish person to take his mother's heart.
In the past, he didn't mind getting cursed by the people he fought. He never took them to heart and didn't give much thought to them. He cared less about his day-to-day life. If someone says something offensive, then a punch is the proper reply for them. Even though his brother often told him to handle his temper and control things with patience, the pleasure of seeing someone cry for mercy gave him a piece of peace.
"Dean, is this the one?" Sebastian's voice broke the man's trance. He blinks and looks at Sabastian, who is holding a pack of cookies.
"Huh?" Dean looks at the empty trolley and then back at Sebastian.
Sebastian sighs, showing the cookies. "Check whether this one is on the list." He points at the paper stuck between Dean's fingers. Dean fumbles and opens the list given by Ethan. So what if he can't accompany his brother? He can give the list and have it delivered to him.
"Yes, this is the one." Dean approved as Sebastian kept the pack inside the trolley.
Sebastian wants to talk about the recent event of him breaking down while hugging Ayan. He wanted to know the reason. However, he is still too far removed from Dean's life to confront or approach him. He can't convince himself that he doesn't have feelings for Dean. He understands his sexuality and knows that he is gay. Perhaps Dean will be the first person to have a greater impact on his life than anyone else he has met so far.
It was love at first sight for him. He has met his fair share of people in his life. But Dean held an aura of calmness as if anybody could be comfortable with him, regardless of their being introverted. People can tend to speak their hearts out and rest assured that Dean will never judge them. He is confused about whether it was Dean's personality or his pretty face that caught his attention.
Regardless, he likes this man very much, and there's no doubt about it. Although the main question is, how will he make space in Dean's heart, the unforgettable one, the space that nobody could take away like in movies? However, whether Dean is gay or bisexual is a major concern for him.
"Sebastian?" Dean waves his hand in front of the man. "What're you thinking?"
In a daze, Sebastian looks at Dean's face and murmurs, "How to swoon you?"
"Pardon." Dean was taken aback, wondering whether he had heard correctly.
"I mean, how do you pronounce my whole name every time? You can call me by a nickname, though. I don't mind." Sebastian suggested with a cheeky smile, folding his arms back.
Dean smiles and shakes his head. "What do your friends call you?"
"Seb, tin leads to can, bottle anything while splitting and ruining my name," Sabastian explained, recalling friends laughing hysterically while calling whatever came to mind.
"Tian, does this sound good?" Dean asked, keeping another item in the trolley.
"Anything you say sounds sweet," Sabastian said, looking away quickly before Dean noticed his hearty eyes.
"I think those clothes look stylish." Sabastian pointed at the clothing section. Without waiting for Dean's reply, he marched towards the destination with the trolley too.
Dean shook his head with a smile. "Idiot, why did you take the cart with you?" He mumbled and followed Sabastian while walking slowly and checking through the items.
Today's day off was suddenly announced by Liam, who said there was an important meeting and things needed to be put on hold for the day. Ethan's long list came to mind along with a reminder from his brother during the call.
Dean picks up a box of chocolate, remembering Ayan's face. He smiled, wishing to give this to the boy. He's in luck because it's Belgian chocolate. He takes a left turn and walks to the other side of the supermarket.
He has no idea that a son and dad are also shopping here. When Dean left the section, they walked towards it.
"Papa, chocolate." Ayan points at the chocolate box with a bright smile. "So many." Ayan awwed and looked around like a lost puppy.
Roman chuckled while pushing the trolley and waiting for his son to choose the one he liked the most.
"Papa, which one is good?" Ayan asked while standing on tiptoes to see the chocolate kept on top.
"Let Papa carry you," Roman joked. He paused when Ayan ran in the opposite direction to the rack and stood in front of the snack section.
"Papa," Ayan says, pointing to the top rack. "That black box." Roman looks at classic Swiss chocolate. He nods, looking at the price.
"Is it more money?" Ayan asked, looking at his father with the hope that it was not expensive.
Roman shook his head, keeping it in the cart. "Promise, papa, that you'll do well in your exams," Roman asked, ducking to Ayan's height.
"Yes, I'll be the first," Ayan stated firmly.
Roman smiled, "If you can, that's good. Even if you rank second or in another place," He ruffles the boy's hair. "Papa will always be proud of you."
"Really?" Ayan asked as Roman nodded his head. "Papa, my friend told me that his papa was angry at him. My friend was crying so much." Ayan spoke, helping his dad push the cart. Roman narrowed his eyes.
"Why was he angry?" Roman asked, looking at his son, who was pushing the cart as though moving a mountain.
"Be-because, I said correct, papa. Because!" Ayan looks at his dad for approval, which was a pat on the head. "Because he didn't get first. He was crying, papa, and didn't eat lunch."
"Then?"
"The teacher assisted him in eating and wiped his tears, saying he'd talk to his parents. The teacher is very good." Ayan grins, hopping in front of the cart.
"I want to be a teacher, papa. I want to be like Teacher Dream." Ayan continues while holding his dad's hand.
"Sure, you can become what you wish. Do what makes you happy. I will always support you." Roman said he was holding his son's hand and walking through the section.
"Papa," Ayan says, smiling broadly as he points to the clothing section.
"Baby, you have many clothes, and Santa will get you new ones for Christmas too."
"Not for me," Ayan said, pointing at his father. "For you, papa." He clarifies with a smile.
"I have sufficient clothes," Roman argues, having thought that he doesn't need new ones. Looking at his son wearing fashionable clothes makes him happy.
"C'mon, papa, don't be boring," Ayan whined, swinging his dad's left hand while blinking his eyes.
Roman widens his eyes. "Who taught you that?"
"Uncle Cal," Ayan replied with honesty.
Roman grits his teeth. "That piece of a—"
"I will choose for you." Ayan twirls and looks through the collection of shirts. He walks next to the rows of shirts and looks keenly at each shade, pattern, length, and style, which are great according to him.
Roman couldn't object, as the boy was already on his mission. He could only sigh and follow by pushing the cart.
"Anything is fine, baby. Papa doesn't mind--"
"I do, papa. I want my papa to wear shirts like me. You always wear your office uniform, papa. I want papa to..." Ayan paused, turning around and looking at his dad. "I want Papa to be happy. happy, not just because of me. but for yourself. I've seen your school photos, and you looked handsome with..." Ayan paused as his eyes fell on the floral-printed white shirt. "Colorful clothes." Ayan pulls the shirt, hoping to remove it from the hanger. However, it's too tall for him.
Roman takes the shirt and notices that it is similar to his college attire. He always wore colorful and stylish clothes. It used to give him confidence and power, knowing that he was never inferior to others. Even his wife loved his style. He remembers Amelia complimenting him. He smiled at the memory.
Nevertheless, he lost his wife. He lost his past self, too. He wears solid dark-colored shirts now. He is no longer a husband but rather just a father, whose only motive is to make his son happy. Anything and everything, as long as his son maintains the same smile as his wife.
"This one?" Roman asked, looking at his son, who nodded his head with a wide smile. His eyes watered as he kneeled on the floor.
"Aren't you just a kid?" Roman asked, cupping the boy's cheek. "How do you talk like a grown-up man?" He chuckled, blinking back his tears.
Watching tears in his dad's eyes, Ayan's lips wobbled. "Is Papa sad because of Ayan? I'm sorry." As his tiny fingers tried to clear the blue from his father's eyes, Ayan whispered with tears in his eyes as well.
"Of course not, baby. I'm very happy to have you, dear. I'm blessed with an angel. You're the sweetest and cutest." Ayan giggles, looking down, feeling shy at the sudden compliments. Ayan's tear was quickly wiped away by Roman.
"I'll check whether this will fit me or not."
"Papa does this every day," Ayan said, doing push-ups on the wall. Well, he's attempting to follow what he watches his father doing every morning and sometimes in the evening too.
Roman chuckled with a horse voice when Ayan huffed while massaging his arm. "Tired." Ayan made grabby hands. "Carry."
"Dramatic cutie." Roman hugs the boy tightly, feeling overwhelming love for his son.
"No, I'm handsome," Ayan whined, hugging his dad's shoulder. Roman laughs, picking him up.
"Papa will look handsome too," Ayan said, looking at the prints and caressing the fabric, something he observed in his father.
"Also, style your hair too." Ayan points at the hairs that are parted from the side. "Just like in the photo." He whispered to himself, although Roman heard him clearly.
Was his son always concerned about him but never expressed his feelings? Was he not being a good dad? Wasn't he able to hide his emotions well enough that his baby saw through his façade? Previously, he thought Ayan didn't know about his mom. However, he was brutally proved wrong. His boy knows many things and just says them at the right time. Did Ayan mature faster than others? Would he have been the same in the presence of his mom, Amelia?
"Ok, baby, now sit here like a good boy." Roman placed the boy on an available chair.
"Papa will groom himself and be handsome," Roman said, patting the boy's head, who nodded with enthusiasm.
"I'll give a review," Ayan replied with a giggle. He swings his legs as he watches his dad step inside a trial room. But his dad peered at him once and closed the door. He again opened and looks at the surrounding. He walked back to Ayan, who blinks his eyes, not understanding why his dad is approaching again.
"You'll be ok, right?" Roman asked, looking at the dilemma of leaving his son alone here in a foreign city.
"Yeah, papa. Don't worry." Ayan assures him, and Roman sighs, giving him his phone.
"Don't talk with strangers." Roman makes Ayan remember.
However, Ayan starts counting while continuing his dad's words. "Don't take anything they give. I'll shout for help, and Papa will rescue me. If not, I'll run at full speed toward the staff, and they'll help me. Also, there are tiny cameras too." Roman pats his head.
"It's called a CCTV camera, dear." Ayna made an 'o' face and nodded while whispering the word to himself.
Roman pressed his lips tightly together and nodded. His son knows to protect himself, and there are many others here too. People who say Ayan is smart are probably correct.
Roman stepped inside the vacant changing room with the assurance that his son would be fine.
Dean stepped out of another room as Roman approached, fixing his collars and holding a new navy blue shirt in his left hand.
Dean sighed, looking at the shirt, and planned to look through a different set. This shirt is nice, but it didn't make him feel particularly good. Maybe he should try something else. Sometimes, it becomes a major task to choose something good, comfortable, and nice all around that matches with mood.
"Ayan?" This could be the first time Dean has noticed the boy rather than the other way around.
Ayan audibly gasped while clasping his hand over his mouth. "Teacher," Ayan whispered his hand still over his mouth. Dean smiled, stepping towards the happy boy.
"What're you doing alone?" Dean asked, looking around for his guardian or anyone from the staff.
"I'm here with papa, and he's in the changing room. What's the teacher doing here?" Ayan asked as Dean looked at the two shirts in his hand.
"I'm here with Uncle Sabastian, and can you help me in choosing one?" Dean showed a pair of shirts to the boy.
"They're not good," Ayan commented, looking around in search of a good shirt.
"I thought the same. However, Sabastian stated that these will look good."
"Teacher, I chose a shirt for papa," Ayan interrupts, pointing to the right."From there. I'm sure you'll get a good one." Ayan informs as Dean nods, saying thanks, and walks in that direction.
Ayan wanted to help his teacher. But his father will be worried if he does not find him sitting here instead. Anything and everything but making Papa worry is not Ayan's motive. He looks at his teacher from afar, though.
"Yo, champ. How are you?" Ayan looks at Sabastian, who is holding a wide smile. He shook his head and looked back at his teacher. The smile on Sabastian's face deteriorated into sourness.
"Hey, why do you always ignore me?" Sabastian asked, narrowing his eyes at the boy.
"Papa said not to talk with strangers." Ayan shrugged in response.
"Are you serious? We traveled on the same flight and stayed in the same hotel."
"There are many people who are walking around you. So, they're not strangers?"
"What's your IQ, huh? Where are your manners? is this how you talk with elders?"
"What's your IQ that you can't win against a smart boy like me?" Ayan brushed his hair.
"Your tongue is quite sharp." Sabastian was getting angrier by the second. This boy loves to get on his nerves.
"Thank you," Ayan said, bowing slightly and crossing his legs.
"You--"
"Ayan, is this good?" Dean asked, looking at the shirt, and later noticed Sabastian standing with Ayan.
Ayan looked at the shirt with wide eyes. This is the same as his father's shirt.
"Yeah, this is actually pretty good," Sabastian said while checking the shirt.
"Yeah, teacher. Actually--"
"Try it once," Sabastian said, pushing the man down the trail. "Take care of Ayan." Dean requested while walking away.
"Why didn't you let me talk to the teacher?" Ayan asked, crossing his arms.
"Revenge for making me a fool in the airport." Sabastian smirks while Ayan slaps his forehead and shakes his head. He takes Roman's phone and opens an application to play games.
"Ignoring again?" Ayan didn't reply. "I won't be standing here. If it hadn't been for Dean." Sabastian mumbled, glaring at the boy.
⋇⋆✦⋆⋇　
Roman looks at his reflection. He eyed the shirt hugging his upper body. It fits perfectly. It had surely been a long time since he had seen his reflection for this long. He just stopped looking at his reflection too. He developed the habit of preening his hair without looking in the mirror over the years. He could count the number of times he saw himself on his fingers.
"Maybe I can look at myself without your back hug, love." mumbling to himself.
Roman unbuttoned the new shirt. However, he stopped thinking about Ayan. "Maybe I should show him once."
Roman's phone starts ringing. He quickly accepts it.
"Yes, Liam." Roman glanced at his watch. "How was the meeting?"
[What should I say? Things have gone overboard now.]
Roman frowns; he wasn't part of the meeting, which was between production, marketing, and executives.
"Something wrong again? I told you, the greenscreen was completely fine. We don't need to increase the budget. But--"
[We're diverting our company into the clothing section too.]
"What?"
[Yeah, this new set of perfumes is being loved by many citizens. Every day, more carts are dispatched. The CEO is hoping to cross oceans too. I don't know, bro. I have a feeling that the end of this year will be amazing. We'll always remember it.]
"How is that related to the suddenly widening business in clothing?"
[Well, a brand saw Dean and Sabastian on the poster and wants to hire them. But we didn't want to lose them either. As per the contract, they're supposed to stay with us at least for a year. So, we forwarded a proposal for collaboration.]
"They wanted to hire Dean. It's supposed to be his decision, right? Did you ask him? What does he want?"
[Stop thinking negatively, ok? He's a good guy. He'll not disagree. The happy thing is that we'll get a raise. I told this in the meeting too.]
"How did that brand agree? I mean, our company is not world-famous, right? How did you all convince them?"
[I don't know, bro. I was just attending the meeting, and the talking was done by others. For your information, if I knew about the business, I wouldn't be working as a marketing manager.]
"Alright, what's next?"
[I have no clue. They want us to wait for two days. They're planning to send their people and a new collection for the new year launch.]
"Two days?"
[Yeah. Now, I think a new headache awaits us.]
"If the stay extends, then I'll be leaving. Ayan can't take more leaves."
[Alright, got it, buddy.]
"C'ya. Take care." Roman coughs and clears his throat.
"I said the brand wants to hire both, and his mind just caught Dean's name. I seriously wonder what's going on between them." Liam murmured, scratching his chin.
Roman steps out while ending the call. His eyes look forward with three steps, and he turns around to check whether he closed the door behind him. He didn't notice the door beside him opening or someone stepping. Dean stepped on Roman's shoe. With instinct, Roman pulled his foot back, which imbalanced Dean, who slammed against the door with a yelp.
"Sorry," Roman immediately said, and he helped Dean stand straight.
"Where is it hurting?" Roman asked, checking Dean's hand for any injury.
"It was my mistake," Roman said roughly, coughing and turning away.
He clears his throat, speaking again. "I didn't think someone would step out. I shouldn't have---"
"Relax, ok. I was surprised, nothing else." Dean assured the worried man. He notices the shirt, and his eyes widen in surprise.
"We're wearing the same shirts." Dean points with a wide smile.
Roman looks at his own and Dean's shirts as he nods along. "Quite a coincidence."
"I think the same. Wherever we go, we'll surely meet. Like in the hospital and school, we even work for the same company. Now we are standing here too."
"I got goosebumps." Roman rubs his arm, looking at Dean, who laughs, slapping Roman's shoulder. He immediately widens his eyes when he realizes his mistake.
"Sorry. I don't know—"
"Relax ok." Roman used the same tone as Dean did.
Later, they bought the shirt, and all of them ate lunch together in a restaurant. Sabastian posted it on his social media account, getting likes and comments.
Watching Sabastian, Dean realized that after knowing his disease, he stopped using social media. He wonders how his friends are doing. They often tried visiting the hospital to wish him a quick recovery. However, he refused to meet anyone.
The self-reflection leads to the realization that he does not require them in his life. Those friends are not counted as must-haves or important, as though he couldn't breathe without them. In fact, he's doing well without their presence in his life. That's probably why we say we meet thousands of people in our lives and only a few know and stay with us without judgment.
Dean looks at Ayan stuffing food and Roman filling the boy's plate with veggies. Forcing the boy to eat more vegetables, who was pushing them aside with a whine. Sabastian filling Dean's plate, holding soft smile on his face. Dean whispering thank you.
Whoever he has met in this second life is much better than the previous ones. He just hopes to never come across his past self, which he wants to forget and forgive.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------