NOVEL NEXT chapter 13
13 – Last days (3)
During the time spent at home, Hayeon had many thoughts.
What would be best for him and herself?
And in the end, Hayeon decided that letting him go was the right thing to do.
After all, she was the one who would die, and she didn’t want to burden him with her lingering attachments and pain.
She only wished for Gunyul to live happily, forgetting about her.
He deserved to be happy enough.
The memo app on her phone was opened to create a reason to part ways.
Every night, Hayeon pondered reasons to break up with him, but there were no reasons written on the screen.
“…There isn’t even a single excuse to break up with him. Really.”
She tried to find a convincing excuse to break up, but in the end, Hayeon couldn’t find anything.
Their relationship with Gunyul had been so happy for her, and they both did their best for each other.
It felt empty, as if it proved that their relationship had been good.
In the end, there was only one excuse that came to her mind.
She just got tired.
Even she couldn’t convince herself of this reason.
“…Will Yul understand this?”
Could she persuade him with a reason that didn’t even convince herself?
Hayeon lost her confidence, but soon steadied her resolve.
Not only for herself but also for Gunyul, it was something she had to do.
“No, I have to do it.”
In the end, Hayeon held onto a flimsy reason that could easily collapse, close to her heart.
She was determined to deliver the words of farewell to him.
.
.
.
.
And on the day Hayeon returned from the countryside and met Gunyul.
Coincidentally, it was Christmas day.
Moreover, it was a white Christmas that comes once every three years.
On a day when all lovers were having a joyful time, Hayeon had to leave him with a deep wound.
[Let’s meet at the park we always went to.]
Though today, she couldn’t bring herself to step outside, Hayeon forced herself to send a text message to Geonyul.
And with heavy steps, she made her way to the park.
Outside, snowflakes were beautifully swirling, but to Hayeon, it felt like a curse.
Yet, within her selfish heart, a glimmer of hope arose.
…Would Geonyul think of their breakup whenever it snows?
Such a small expectation.
Even if it wasn’t a good memory, Hayeon wished that Geonyul would remember her even after she died.
“…Disgusting.”
To come out to break up yet also wish for him to remember her.
It was an absurd delusion.
Despite feeling disgusted by her own greed, Hayeon realized how much she loved him.
Then, from afar, a gentle voice called her name.
“Hey, Hayeon!”
Upon hearing that voice, Hayeon felt her breath catch in her chest.
Because now, she wouldn’t be able to hear his warm voice anymore.
Because now, seeing this face would also be the last time.
Everything overwhelmed her with sadness, making tears well up, but she bit her lips and managed to hold back her sobbing.
And as she had practiced several times before, she spat out the words she had decided for him.
“You came. Yul. I have something to say.”
“Yeah? Right after coming?”
An innocent gaze, unaware of anything.
Hayeon felt her heart being torn apart at the thought that she had to utter cold words to him from now on.
“I won’t say it twice. Understand it at once.”
“Okay. Don’t hesitate, just tell me. What is it?”
How deeply will it hurt him? How much pain will he feel?
But because it was necessary for Geonyul.
She forcefully twisted her lips, which wouldn’t waver, and spoke the rehearsed words to him.
“Let’s break up. Yul.”
The farewell message that Hae-yeon had prepared spread coldly throughout the park.
…
“Hey, Seo Ha-yeon! You bad woman! You b*tch!”
Ignoring the curses coming from behind, Hae-yeon turned her body viciously.
She wanted to turn around every time she took a step outside the park, but she suppressed the urge.
She wanted to go back right now and comfort him.
Pat his head, hug him, and say sorry for what she just said.
She wanted to beg and plead for forgiveness, saying it was just a joke.
“But I have to hold back… I have to, Ha-yeon.”
She couldn’t follow the words of her emotions, or her plan would be ruined.
It would only make Kuhn painfully suffer like the man she saw at the funeral home.
“Haa… haa…”
Hae-yeon felt a little relieved when she finally got out of the park.
Maybe it was because she was relieved of the guilt she had a moment ago.
When she arrived home, Hae-yeon quickly started packing.
She knew Kuhn wouldn’t give up so easily.
Knowing how much he loved her, she was sure he would come looking for her.
“Let’s go back home first.”
Hae-yeon would be shaken if she was near him.
She couldn’t kick him out like she did earlier when he begged and hung onto her. She had no confidence to do so.
She had to get as far away from Kuhn as possible.
Coincidentally, school had just started its summer vacation.
Hae-yeon sent a message to her aunt saying she was going back home and quickly packed her necessities into a small suitcase before heading outside to catch a night bus.
“…Phew.”
Finally, as she boarded the bus, she felt a little bit of relief.
Now, there is nothing that can shake me.
And Gunyul also wished to forget himself and live happily.
If he is happy, then Ha-yeon will undoubtedly be happy too.
-Jiiing
While staring absentmindedly out the window, her phone in her pocket vibrated.
Trembling, she took out her phone from the pocket.
[Yul-i]
It was a call from Gunyul.
But Ha-yeon couldn’t answer the phone.
She could only gaze at his name floating on the phone.
Soon the call ended, followed by consecutive messages.
[Ha-yeon, please pick up the phone.]
“Why are you suddenly acting like this… please… I’m begging you.”
“Give me one more chance to meet. I don’t want to end it like this. Please.”
Ha-yeon’s heart tightened at Gunyul’s pleading through text messages.
She couldn’t bear to look at the phone screen any longer.
She pressed the button to darken the phone screen.
-Jiiing
A tear drop fell onto the phone.
As if it were the starting point, tears that she had held back in front of him burst out uncontrollably.
“Sob… Hiccup… Sob…”
Ha-yeon clenched her mouth and suppressed her sobs while seated on the bus.
If the sound escaped, it would become as noisy inside the bus as if a dam had burst.
She just stifled her crying, sniffling quietly.
Just like that, she kept suppressing her sobs until Ha-yeon’s phone stopped ringing.
She continued to hold back her tears.
*
Several days had passed since Ha-yeon returned to her hometown.
She casually explained to her aunt that she had come down during vacation.
Ha-yeon still didn’t have the courage to speak.
I didn’t have the courage to tell my aunt that I had a terminal illness.
But she herself was anxious about how long she could keep it hidden.
I had no intention of returning to school now.
I didn’t want to spend what little time I had left studying.
But I couldn’t leave my hometown either.
In my condition, in the final stage of cancer, I doubted I could find a job and work properly anywhere.
“Cough… Cough… Hoo… Hoo…”
The sporadic abdominal pain that started to occur periodically gradually shattered her daily life.
Her body was screaming that she needed treatment.
Especially at night, the pain became severe.
Hayan knew that she had to tightly cover her mouth with the blanket to prevent any sound from escaping, so her aunt wouldn’t hear.
And then came the weekend dinner.
During the outing with her aunt, Hayan felt the crisis.
“Hayan, why is your face so pale since earlier? You can’t eat. Are you feeling sick somewhere?”
“…No, Aunt.”
The periodicity of the pain that occasionally occurred became shorter and shorter.
Hayan thought she would be fine since she had felt sick earlier and went outside, but she gradually felt the pain rising in her abdomen.
A sensation as if something was randomly stabbing from her back to her internal organs.
There were limits to how much Hayan could endure it.
“Are you really okay? Your expression doesn’t look good at all.”
“Hoo… Hoo… I’m fine.”
But the pain on this day was overwhelmingly strong compared to other days.
If the previous pains felt like being pricked by needles, now it felt like a sledgehammer pounding on her abdomen.
-Thunk-
In the end, Hayan put down the spoon she was eating with.
It was too painful, and tears started streaming down her cheeks.
Unable to control her body, Hayan fell over on her desk.
“Hayan? Hayan! What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
“Sob… It hurts… It hurts so much… Aunt… Aunt… Please save me!”
“Hayan! Hayan!!”
As if having a seizure, Hayeon clutched her stomach and cried out in pain, and screams poured out of her without warning.
There is always a limit to the pain a human can endure.
Seeing Hayeon writhing in pain at the desk, her aunt shouted.
“119! Can someone please call 911!”
Eventually, that day Hayeon headed to the emergency room late at night.
After receiving a strong painkiller, Hayeon’s seizures finally stopped, but she felt weak all over and collapsed onto her bed.
The doctors stepped back for a moment, leaving Hayeon in silence.
Her aunt looked at Hayeon with a pitiful face and reached out to hold her hand.
“Hayeon…what on earth happened…seriously…”
Holding back her tears, Hayeon felt the dryness on her lips where she had bitten too hard, causing them to bleed.
“Do you have any pain anywhere? How did a perfectly healthy child collapse like this? Why is this happening to you?”
“…Sigh.”
Hayeon admitted that it was impossible to hide anything from her aunt anymore.
The pain will only intensify from now on, and without her aunt, Hayeon’s daily life would be impossible.
Finally, Hayeon closed her eyes tightly and spoke to her aunt.
“…I’m sorry. There’s something I haven’t told you, Aunt.”
It was now the moment for her to reveal the secret.