Mr. Fashionable

Chapter 53.5: Don’t come to my house and Unexpected

Translated by Crystal of Exiled Rebels Scanlations

(unedited)

“Cousin.” Mai Ke waited outside the waiting room the whole time, and the moment he saw Qiu ZiYan walk out of the elevator, he went up to him, “What took you so long?”

“Traffic jam.” Mr. Qiu pulled Tang XiaoYu closer and said, “Right?”

Tang XiaoYu didn’t bother with him and dragged his luggage into the waiting room.

He’s beyond hope!

Due to limited space, the organizer only ha one waiting room for the special guests. When Qiu ZiYan walked in, Su Nuo was looking down at his phone with an incredibly shocked expression!

“What are you looking at?” Qiu ZiYan peaked over incuriously.

“Ah!” Su Nuo got frightened and almost threw out his phone.

“Sorry for scaring you.” Qiu ZiYan apologized, as he made an expression between laughing and crying.

“…It’s fine.” Of course, it’s not okay! Su XiaoNuo roared in his mind!

Question: What was more annoying than a muscular dude?

Answer: A silent muscular dude!

Tang XiaoYu stood behind Qiu ZiYan and smiled at Su Nuo, as a form of greeting.

Then Su XiaoNuo realized very late into the game that he was supposed to help his brother find out the relationship between Qiu ZiYan and Tang XiaoYu!

That’s…a super duper headache!

He wasn’t in the mood at all!

“I’m going to change first.” Qiu ZiYan smiled at him and said, “See you later.”

Su Nuo nodded and for once, didn’t bother with ‘the one who comes late is a bigger star’ issue! And that was because he was still shocked by the (novel name)’s plot!

Originally he was just upset over Mr. Director’s issue and was browsing the web! Then he saw a new update for (novel), so he clicked in by habit! But it was then taken back by a fan art! Even if it was hand-drawn, he could still tell it was him! He could tolerate a naked him, but…what was that massive golden boa?! And the golden boa wasn’t the main issue either, it was that it wrapped around him, seemingly doing that stuff! AHHHHH!

Bestiality was not okay!

And why does it look as if I’m enjoying it!

How are the females of this generation so shameless!

He really got to report this thread!

Su Nuo was completely agitated and used his private account to say that it didn’t make sense! Please delete the post!

In a few minutes, the tweet post was responded with hundreds of replies saying the user was an idiot! What have you been eating?! Cause you’re going insane! How stupid are you to not be able to appreciate such beautiful artwork! Don’t you think it perfectly suits the story?!

How does it match the plot at all?! Su Nuo frantically typed, ‘Where did such a ridiculous scene occur?! Don’t go around saying nonsense!’

Then it was met with a response instantly. Clearly, you commented before reading the newest update. Don’t come out before you ate your meds, alright?

…

Su XiaoNuo opened the newest update with anger! He only just skipped a chapter! So how did this kind of life turning plot appear?!

Even just the opening was out of this world! Because Su NuoNuo had a miscarriage! What do you mean he had a miscarriage?! By his previous life, he should be able to withstand poison and natural disasters! So why would he, after transmigration, miscarriage just because he skipped a few meals! The author’s unreliable! Su Nuo looked with disgust.

“Nuo Er” Ouyang JinLong felt his heartbreak, then he abruptly coughed up blood. The blood-stained the pure white bedroom curtains.

Su NuoNuo smiled with a sense of dreariness and said, “We weren’t meant to be. Let’s break up.”

“No! How could I part with such a pure and beautiful soul like yours!” Ouyang JinLong said, changing his usually bossy ways and poured his soul out with his tears,” I beg of you! Please give me another chance! Let us continue being each other’s angels!*.”
(T/N It’s originally a meme online, then used in a comedy tv series “万万没想到之标准偶像剧,” in which one of the characters, 王大锤(wang dachui) said to 胖大妈(Pang dama), ‘me and 小妹 is true love! True love has no cost!” Then the 小妹(Xiao Mei) says, “56.5 dollars!” Then 胖大妈 says, “Here $60, you can keep the change.” 小妹, “thanks, DaChui, let’s break up.” DaChui, reaching out with deep passion in his eyes, “Xiao Mei, don’t go! Didn’t you say we would be each other’s angels?” BTW the whole tv show is a meme on stereotypical genre tropes)

“You will only become my devil.” Su NuoNuo had already made up his mind and without another word, took out the scissors from his pillow. He pointed it at his slim, delicate wrist, “If you don’t let me go, I’ll kill myself!”

“No!!!!!” All color was washed away from Ouyang JinLong’s face, and he quickly backed off, “Don’t do anything rash!”

Su Nuo was super confused, why are you backing off, it’s not like he’s trying to kill you…Also, shouldn’t you reach forward and grab the scissors away from him?

“Let me go!” Su NuoNuo clenched his teeth and slashed his wrist.

Instantly, readers were commenting, ‘too much angst! Step-mom author! Hentai author! I hope you go to the toilet without toilet paper!’

Ouyang JinLong felt his heart twist and turn from pain. All he could do was to slowly back off and leave the castle in his private, diamond-covered, luxurious Boeing 747.

Then a rainstorm fell upon the earth as if heaven was crying!

Su Nuo was worried, where was the golden boa?

Then, in the next little bit, the golden boa appeared. It was LaTuoWeiYa’s King’s present to him.

“So beautiful.” Su NuoNuo said as he marveled at the gold like the skin of the boa, “You truly are god’s gift to me.”

The golden boa slithered (hiss), and his eyes shone with the pride of a king!

Su Nuo carefully remembered Mr. Sweetheart’s black beady eyes.

There wasn’t an ounce of pride in them! Just stupidity!

Authors who can’t do proper research wasn’t a good author!

“From now on, I’ll call you Nian Long.” Su NuoNuo said as he hugged the golden boa and sighed emotionally miserably.

Su Nuo coughed up blood. There was so much to complain about, he didn’t even know where to begin.

Su NuoNuo always had low body temperature, so he liked to hug the boa to sleep.

Of course, there was no logic to this sentence. If you have a low body temperature, you should hug a hot-water warmer! Hugging a boa will just catch you the cold! But Su XiaoNuo didn’t pay any mind to this BUG because he already exploded by the H that was to follow. (The warmer is one where you fill with hot water, and you hug it)

So there actually was beastiality!!! Holyyyyy cow!

And 5000 words at that!

5000 words for sex!

And snakes had two dicks?!

It even splits?!

Thank you, author, for giving me knowledge!

Su Nuo felt steam coming out from his head, and he couldn’t even form a word of response.

If it was just shitty fanfic, that was fine, but the main character was himself! And if it was just him reading then fine, but it was a public thread!

It was super terrifying!
“NuoNuo.” Dai An came to call him, “Ye FengWu’s here and talking with Director Zhong. Do you want to go over and say hello?”

“But I don’t know him privately.” Su Nuo was confused.

“It’s never wrong to say you’re greetings.” Dai An pulled him up and coaxed him as he pulled him away, “Be happy. Think about it; after this event, you’ll get a month’s worth of breaks!” It would get anyone jealous!

Su Nuo could only go, withered.

In the dressing room, the handsome, six countries mix-blood, Ye FengWu was chatting with Director Zhong. Beside them stood the very resentful Mu Qiu.

Yes, even though he had a lot of work to do, being a real, loyal dog (seme), Mr. Mu still squeezed out time to visit Director Zhong! Super, duper, lovey, dovey! But the moment he entered the door, he saw him chatting away happily with Ye FengWu! Super what the fuck!

Mr. Mu was instantly enraged! But before he could let it out, Zhongli FengBai glared daggers at him, so he could only swallow back his words. Like a little wifey, he stood on the side, while beating Ye FengWu in his head ——— how dare you put your hand on my wife’s shoulders! Do you have a death wish?

But clearly, Ye FengWu wouldn’t know the relationship between them, rather, he didn’t even know who Mu Qiu was. Thus, he didn’t care, and the more they talked, the closer they got. In the end, he even invited Zhongli FengBai out for dinner after the event.

“Cough!” Mu Qiu coughed loudly.

But no one cared! That was so sad!

“They make really good Spanish food, you’ll definitely like it.” Ye FengWu looked at Director Zhongli FengBai with his deep, blue eyes, as he smiled warmly.

“Cough! Cough!” Mu Qiu felt his rage boil! Those who use their handsome features to lure other people’s wives are the worst! A complete pervert! Should be executed to Taklamakan Desert!

“You there mister, if your lung hurts, you should see a doctor soon!” Director Zhong got annoyed with his interruptions and said, biting through his teeth.

……

Mu Qiu felt very wronged.

“Could it be…this is Mo Heng’s double?” Ye FengWu guesses.

Mr. Mu felt another round blood coming up. Why would I, become a double for that 3rd rate actor who specializes in perverts?!

“He’s my friend.” Director Zhong said hesitantly. He really didn’t want to say he knew this, disgraceful person!

“Then you guys talk, I’ll go do my makeup.” Even if there was a big cultural difference between the West and the East, Ye FengWu could tell that Mu Qiu was extremely angry. So, he excused himself.

“A guy likes him putting on makeup, how girly can you get!” Once Ye FengWu left, Mr. Mu mocked like a little kid! Really not manly at all!

“You’re girly!” The moment Su Nuo walked closer, he heard this and was instantly infuriated! I didn’t do anything to you, so what’s with the friendly fire?!

“I’m not talking about you.” Mu Qiu was also surprised when did he appear?

“And Director Zhong puts on makeup too!” Su XiaoNuo was the type to stir up trouble, so he pulled Zhongli FengBai into this as well.

Mu Qiu was now even more afraid, so he quickly threw away all pride and said, “Makeup’s good! Actually, I like to put on makeup in my spare time too!”

After hearing this, Su Nuo started imagining it! A buff, muscular Mu Qiu sat in front of a makeup mirror, painting on his brows, doing his makeup, then shyly block half of his face with his sleeve…fuck!

“Are you okay?” Dai An was worried, after seeing Su Nuo’s face turn pale white.

“I want to puke.” Su Nuo felt his stomach tossing and turning.

Dai An quickly brought him to to the washroom.

Mu Qiu felt hurt as well. He then turned to look innocently at Zhongli FengBai, “He puked because of me?”

“I’m almost about too as well.” Zhongli FengBai said weakly, “What are you here for?”

“I want to go home with you after the event.” There was a lot of people around, so he didn’t dare make any big movements. Even though he really wanted to touch his hand!

“Why would I go home with you?” Director Zhong instantly went back to his cool beauty mood.

“Then I can go home with you!” Mu Qiu volunteered!

“Why?!” Zhongli FengBai yelled angrily, “We don’t have any relationship whatsoever!”

Mu Qiu just made a face 囧. Why won’t he admit it, even though they already did everything!

What problem was this?

“If you have nothing else, then I’ll need to prepare for the event!” Zhongli FengBai said like a tsundere.

“There’s still a while till the event starts, come down to my car. I brought soup for you.” Mu Qiu said, “I purposefully asked the head chef to add some caterpillar fungus, it’ll help with mental fatigue.”
(T/N it’s a fungus that grows on larvae, so it becomes half insect, half plant. BTW Chinese soup is usually clear, similar to the broth, but lighter and usually made with a lot of herbs)

……But I don’t want to drink it at all! Director Zhongli FengBai was being super troublesome! Unwillingly, he walked into the elevator with Mu Qiu.

Mu Qiu’s car was like himself, aggressive and fierce. Zhongli FengBai sat on the shotgun seat and drank from the insulated bowl.

“How’s the taste?” Mu Qiu asked.

“Awful.” Zhongli FengBai left him no face!

Mu Qiu smiled uncontrollably. The love in his eyes got deeper, to the point it almost oozed out!

“I’m done, bye!” The moment Director Zhong, he left heartlessly.

Mu Qiu pulled the other close and hugged him.

“What are you doing now?!” Zhongli FengBai shouted angrily.

These!

Humans!

Who are filled with desire!

Always use a beauty appearance!

To cover up!

Their inner heart!

Their disgusting desires!

“I’ll wait here for you until the event’s over, okay?” Mu Qiu said, kissing his cheeks.

“Not okay at all!” Zhongli FengBai turned to stare at him angrily!

“I already got people to buy the ingredients, I’ll cook dinner for you.” Mu Qiu said passionately!

“I’m already booked tonight!” Zhongli FengBai said coldly, “I’m going with Ye FengWu to eat Spanish….offff.” Who gave you the right always to kiss me when I’m talking! Bastard!

Mu Qiu was very strong, so he easily subdued Director Zhong.

After struggling for a bit, Zhongli FengBai gave up. So sad.

When their tongues touched, he realized that Mu Qiu’s mouth was a little bit sweet. Now, Director Zhong was confused, why would a rough man like him taste like strawberries? Thus, he licked Mu Qiu, trying to figure out what flavor it really was.

When the soft tongue tip touched Mu Qiu’s teeth, he felt his heart being licked by a tiny kitten.

“You actually ate strawberry candy!” Zhongli FengBai pushed him away and while panting, shouted in shock.

That was super, super girly!

“I had a smoke before, and I was afraid you wouldn’t like it.” Mu Qiu hugged his tight, “So I bought a box of candy.”

Zhongli FengBai huffed out like a tsundere, “I don’t like strawberry flavors all that much either!”

“Then what flavor do you like?” Mu Qiu asked as his eyes we’re smiling.

“…I don’t like any!” Zhongli FengBai turned bright red from his gaze.

Mu Qiu ignored his bad temper and went straight in for the kiss again.

Zhongli FengBai closed his eyes as he roared in his mind. If you kiss then just kiss! What’s with all the touching?! What’s with that!

Mu Qiu inclined the chair and topped him.

“…You pervert.” Zhongli FengBai protested weakly because he was a bit dizzy from the kissing.

With both hands, Mu Qiu grabbed hold of the slender waist and started kissing his neck.

Super smooth!

The organizers were panicking as they couldn’t find Zhongli FengBai anywhere, even though the event had already started.

“…Director Zhongli FengBai had an emergency and told me to apologize on his behalf.” Although the assistant didn’t know what was going on either, he handled it like a pro. Once the organizers left, he quickly called Zhongli FengBai.

But the one who answered was Mu Qiu!

“…Mr. Mu?” Zhongli FengBai’s female assistant was shocked!

“I just happened to meet Director Zhong when he was feeling unwell, so I took him to the doctors.” Mr.Mu’s voice was super serious, very professional.

“It’s it anything serious?” His assistant was very worried.

“It’s nothing, just some hip pain.” Mu Qiu said.

Zhongli FengBai rolled his eyes, with the little energy he had left.

“Then, please take care of him. Thank you so much.” The assistant said gratefully.

“No worries, it’s what I should do.” Mu Qiu hang up and pounced on the artsy youngster for another round of biting.

“Bastard! Have some grace!” Zhongli FengBai shouted! The first thing you do is to loosen the belt! How more forward can you get?!

“Save it for next time.” Mu Qiu was very direct.

“I’m breaking up with you!” Anger!

“Baby, lift your hips up.” Gentle.

“I’m going to find another man!” Freaked out! (Frizzed – cat hair standing up kind of image) (Shocked!)

“Your legs are so white.” Praise.

……

In Director Zhongli FengBai’s mind, he was drowning in sorrowful tears! They were completely on different wavelengths! How are they going to spend a lifetime like this! That’s terrifying!

Inside the car was very intense and high endurance too! Not that far away, Ouyang Long felt very complicated.

When he saw Mu Qiu’s car, he was going to make his greetings, but seeing how it was now…good thing he didn’t go!

Aren’t these two afraid of being caught? Mr. Director felt weak and went up the elevator to the fifteenth floor. Also, where this event was taking place.

“Director Zhong left because of a hip injury?” After Su XiaoNuo heard the news, he made a very perverted sound, mentally. Feels like anything could’ve happened!

“Boss, you can be however you like in the waiting room but don’t ever show this expression outside!” Dai An reminded him.

“Of course! I’m not stupid.” Su Nuo didn’t heed it any mind. Pretending to be an otherworldly flower was his forte!

In his mind, Dai An wanted to refute, how were you not stupid? When you’re stupid, it’s the killing blow!

Going to tie a bow tie for Qiu ZiYan and stuff, isn’t that a complete lack of IQ?!