Moon Adrift

June 28th, 2024

1:36 PM

The local hardware store didn’t have much, but after some looking around I eventually found what I needed. Off the top of my head, I buy a portable stove with some extra fuel. Bringing dozens of pounds of food is a pain, so I figure a fishing rod will suit me just fine to catch something out there.

From just looking online at the big lakes surrounding the mountains, I know there’s going to be plenty of opportunities for picking up fishing and it’s making me excited. The last time I felt giddy about anything was… Shit. When was it? Anyway, I feel it right now. I’m not stupid enough to think it’ll be easy, but I’m more than willing to learn if it means some peace and quiet.

They say patience is a fisherman’s most useful tool, and not to toot my own horn but I’ve been plenty patient with everyone despite the shit they give me. What I’m most looking forward to is the scenery, however. Out there it’s just you, some birds, and the trees. Maybe a few bugs, but there’s a price for everything.

Another thing I think to buy is hiking boots because my regular running shoes would get ruined after a few days of the trudging I plan on doing. This is the first time I’ve ever done anything like this on my own, but my folks said it themselves. I’m a grown ass man now. I get to make grown ass man decisions.

So I’ve decided to get away from it all. Doesn’t sound much different from usual, I know, but it is. I can’t think in this room. I can’t even get up in the morning to go to class. I feel too drained by everything and everyone around me. It feels as though I’m being pulled along a slow but thick river towards a waterfall that goes nowhere. I need a change of environment or my head will only keep going in circles.

Out there I’ll have to get up if I want to eat. I’ll have to take in nature and accept where I am. Who knows? Maybe I finally accept my circumstances and shake my depression for good. If nothing else, I could seriously use the change of pace to spice things up.

“That’ll be $364.64.” the cashier tells me as she bags my things while putting a hand to her nose.

Walking out the store I count myself just short of $200. Not too bad.

I managed to buy a knife, a pair of hiking shoes, a portable stove, a fishing rod with some bait to go with it, and even a rucksack to store everything. I know I’m missing a few things, but I’ve got enough of the essentials checked off my list that I’m not too worried about it.

Back home I put everything together and see how it feels as I putter about in my small room. Everything is very snug and doesn’t burden me in any real way. This’ll do nicely. No complaints out of me for now.

Looking at my list, I see what I’m still missing.

Rucksack – Check

Fishing rod – Check

Portable stove – Check

Knife – Check

Hiking Boots – Check

Compass – O

Map – O

Matches – O

Tent – O

Sleeping Bag – O

I know the most expensive things on the list left to go are the tent and sleeping bag, so I decide on dealing with that tomorrow. There’s still something I have to take care of. Once I’m gone I won’t need my PC anymore, so I’ve decided to either sell it or just get rid of it.

I don’t really know anyone who doesn’t hate my guts, so selling it would be a pretty big challenge for me to pull off. One thing’s for sure, though. The hard drive needs to get dunked in acid or I need to take it with me and throw it in a lake once I get there.

Were anyone to find it, there’s no fucking way I could talk myself out of that one. If my folks aren’t already planning to disown me, that hard drive would be the final nail in the coffin. The irrefutable proof Bishop Browne is a filthy deviant with subhuman taste… Although I guess there’s worse things to be into than that…

I’m not leaving yet though, so the hard drive lives another day. Still, there’s definitely a few things I’ll have to throw out. Like the desk I hauled up to the third floor on my own when I first took residence here.

I’m sure that’ll be as fun to get down as it was to get up…

***

June 30th, 2024

11:21 AM

The next two days go by pretty fast for me due to how much fun I’m having planning things out and getting the stuff I need to make it all happen. I actually managed to get someone who lives here at the dorms to buy the PC from me for $150 bucks. Considering it was lacking a hard drive, the guy didn’t feel like two hundred was going to fly.

All in all I spent around $800 on it when I was still in high school, so letting it go for so little kind of hurt, but it was that or throwing it out and getting nothing for it.

Using my cell phone to do the rest of my planning and internet searches was slower, but it was do-able. The important thing was that now I nearly had everything checked off my list.

I had it all figured out and all that was really left was for me to sort everything out on my end here and take an Uber to a little town called North bend just before I start my hike through the woods towards the beautiful Lake Hancock. Everything was going so well that I didn’t expect anything to go wrong.

Knock Knock Knock

The sound coming from the door practically froze me in place for several moments. Fear had been at the back of my mind even though I’d been walking in and out of my room a couple of times a day just buying the stuff I needed for the trip. I hadn’t seen Cordelia or her group since that day I went to the convenience store.

It must have been around a week by now, but I had a feeling that was about to change at some point. I just didn’t expect her to bother coming here if that was who was knocking on my door. I don’t bother with a response. Maybe whoever it was would leave if they thought I wasn’t in.

“I know you’re in there, Bishop. I want to talk.”

It was, of course, Cordelia. For some reason I kind of shrunk in on myself. Shame washed over me. Why? It didn’t make sense to feel this way now. We knew how things would go from now on. Nothing was going to change that, and nothing had to. Was she just here to fuck with me and get a kick out of it? Whatever. I’m not the talkative sort. She knows that.

Knocking twice more, she says something I don’t expect. “Please… I’m sorry.”

Now I was confused. Why would she feel sorry? The answer was simple. She didn’t.

It was typical of someone who felt their pride was hurt to attack someone smaller than them and claim it back. This kind of two-faced shit was typical of most people, especially women. I’d seen how fat bitches talk mad shit about skinny bitches, and how old women call younger women sluts because they know they’re no longer anywhere near as marketable.

Cordelia was no different than your run of the mill woman. She’s strong and empowered until things don’t go her way, then suddenly she’s a victim. Plus, she did have the last word. She could fucking keep it for all I cared.

Knock… Knock…

After a while she leaves and I’m relieved to know she wasted her time. Or maybe I’m just glad I don’t have to deal with her. I definitely don’t want to see her again. If all goes well, I get in the Uber without so much as bumping into one of her piece of shit cronies and my way is clear.