Monster

We had pulled into the garage, the engine's hum dying away as we parked. One by one, we piled out of the car. I trailed behind Carter, Autumn, and Clara as we made our way into the house. Once inside, they dispersed like frantic bees, buzzing around, making urgent phone calls and yanking books from the library shelves. I sank into the living room couch, my mind racing with what they might uncover.

In the chaotic heat of the moment, a gnawing worry clawed at me. I feared I might be forced to abandon this fragile semblance of a life I had only recently managed to piece together. The thought twisted my insides and put a haze over my mind that was hard to see through. But as the minutes ticked by, I started to perceive this turmoil through a different lens. Maybe this was my chance, a twisted gift wrapped in anxiety. An opportunity to be on the front lines with the hunters, to delve into the mysteries of my own cursed nature. If anyone could uncover the truth… it could be them. I could assist them. Nudge them in the right direction with what I knew about myself. It could work, and they’d be none the wiser.

I mulled over my options. I could keep a lower profile, though it felt nearly impossible given how meticulously careful I thought I already had been. But I guess I was an amateur compared to these older creatures that hid themselves from me. But I could try. I could hunt farther from town, ensuring the bodies were scattered over a wider area that no one would trace back to St. Louis. The thought seemed daunting, but necessary. I had to do it. I needed to do it.

Every fiber of my being yearned to stay embedded in this family, to savor the warmth of their company for just a while longer. The mask I wore was suffocating at times. The thought and control of what I said and did around them was in a realm of its own. But the alternative was a lonely descent into madness. So, I steeled myself, resolving to keep the monster hidden. For now, at least, I could maintain this illusion, no matter the cost. I had to know, and it was getting easier to admit that I had to stay. I wanted to stay.

Autumn came over to me in the living room, looking a bit frazzled but trying to be kind. “Sorry, this is all we have at the moment.” She handed me a glass of the same red juice she drank just a few days earlier.

Weirdly, it made me feel a bit closer to her. Despite all the chaos, I felt strangely at home here, like it reminded me of my own family. Memories started to creep up. Thoughts of sitting in our living room with Seth on Saturday mornings watching our favorite cartoons, drinking this very same type of juice. I was lost in another world for a moment. It was excruciating. I had to push the thoughts back, not wanting to deal with the pain and loss right now.

“Thanks…” I said, not sure what I was supposed to do while everyone else was running around like headless chickens. So, I just sat there and drank the sour juice.

Autumn smiled at me and nodded before dashing off again. I appreciated her and her drink more than she realized, however painful it was.

I felt like a kid again, with the adults handling all the important stuff while I just sat quietly, clueless about what was happening or how I could help. I couldn’t help but chuckle under my breath, trying to hide a smirk. It was pretty funny how everyone was so worked up. Meanwhile, the killer they were hunting was right there in the living room, sipping cranberry juice. The irony was almost too much. I felt my smirk fight its way out of my control and into a full-blown smile.

Here they were, tearing through books and making frantic calls, trying to solve a big mystery, while I just sat there like a guest at a boring party. If they only knew. The whole situation was so absurd, I nearly choked on my drink. The hunters and the hunted, sharing the same space, brought together by nothing more than a glass of sour red juice.

I was leaning forward, elbows on my knees, just waiting. Clara kept shooting glances over in my direction while she talked to Wayland on the phone. She muttered something to a passing Eleanor. They had all been gathering bestiaries and other ancient-looking books while making phone calls. I heard all the conversations as I waited. The Chasse family were all on their way over as Carter tried to get in touch with the Wicklows. I wondered if they were still out of town, or if they had already made it back from visiting their family. Annabelle. That faceless name shot a twinge of worry in my brain.

“I’m sorry, Sam,” Eleanor apologized for keeping me waiting. “We are all a little wrapped up with this thing right now. We haven’t forgotten about you, I promise,” she gave a caring smile.

“Oh no, it’s fine… really. This seems like kind of a big deal,” I assured her. “I’m assuming this doesn’t happen often…”

“No, it’s not often we uncover something we haven’t run into before. Usually, our bestiaries will have something, so we are going to go through them all just in case,” Eleanor said.

“The vampire, Martin, said he didn’t know what it could be either, based on the descriptions. Is that weird? Carter seemed… concerned.”

“Yes, it’s strange. Martin is very old, and he has seen a lot in his years. For him not to know, or have some kind of idea, it’s… unsettling.” She had a dark thought fester in her mind. I could see it behind her eyes. She forced a smile to hide it.

“So, what is going on exactly,” I looked around at all the movement, trying to get more details.

“We’re trying to make contact with the other families. The Wicklows, the Talbots, and a few others we know. We have to start researching.”

“The bestiaries?”

“Yes, searching for any old text, any old story, anything that someone might have heard over the years. Between our family, the Wicklows, and the Talbots, we have a vast collection of knowledge. Although we do share our information, some families have better-kept records on different creatures. That’s why we need to get everyone together,” she explained.

“I thought the Talbots weren’t a part of your hunting family, or whatever you call it,” I asked confused.

“Their role in our family is… less than it used to be. But, when we need them, they always come. It was their family that exiled themselves after they were cursed, not us.”

“Wait… they were cursed? How’s that?” I asked.

“Well, how did you think they were turned into werewolves?” Eleanor laughed.

I actually hadn’t thought about the details yet, “I don’t know.” I joined her, chuckling. “I just assumed if you got bit, you’d turn,” I said, thinking of my own brutal attack. But I wasn’t even sure that’s what turned me. It could have been more than just the bite of the monster.

She continued laughing lightly, trying to stop smiling. I could see similar features in her face that reminded me of Autumn when she laughed.

Just then, Autumn returned from around the small wall that separated the living room and kitchen.

“What are you two laughing at,” Autumn grinned at her mother. She looked at me, tilting her head to the side. She seemed thankful for the mental reprieve from the chaos.

“Sam was being funny. I was telling him about the Talbots and how they became werewolves,” Eleanor said.

“Oh… that…” Autumn quickly went straight-faced. “Actually, I think Uncle Frank is about to be here,” she warned her mother. It seemed like a sore subject.

“Oh, I see.” Eleanor halted the story abruptly, her eyes narrowing. “Well, it’s going to be hectic down here for a while. Why don’t you take Sam upstairs? Give him a tour of the rest of the house. Then maybe you can fill him in on the Talbots. He should know if he’s going to stay with us,” she suggested to Autumn, her voice carrying an unspoken weight.

Autumn’s smile curled mischievously, her brown eyes glinting with a hint of teasing. “Come with me,” she said, the words a playful challenge.

I jumped up from the couch, anticipation buzzing through me. No thoughts to slow my roll entered my mind. For the moment, I was all in. As I followed Autumn up the winding staircase, her scent enveloped me, sweet and intoxicating. It seeped into my senses, making my head swim. I couldn’t get enough of it. I took in everything, blocking nothing out.

We reached the top of the stairs, where two hallways diverged—one to the left, the other straight ahead. She pointed to the first opening on the left. “This is a little living area here,” she said, her voice casual. A large, comfy chair and a couple of loveseats surrounded a coffee table. “This is where I usually study.”

I nodded, trying to focus despite the distraction of her scent. We continued down the hallway. She pointed to the rooms on the right.

“This is the master bed and bath,” she said, then turned left at the end, indicating the other side. “This is a utility closet and the upstairs bathroom.” Her voice echoed slightly in the empty spaces.

We walked further, and she pointed to another room. “This is our guest room, and at the end is my dad’s office.”

We poked our heads into the dark office, filled with books and a desk with a laptop sitting in the center. The room felt oddly foreboding, like it held secrets. Things not privy to the rest of the house.

We turned left again, and she gestured to another door. “This is our laundry room.” She moved past it quickly, almost too quickly. My heightened senses caught a flash of fabric on top of the dryer. Underwear. Her cheeks flushed a deep crimson, the color spreading like wildfire. I could see the rush of blood beneath her skin, every tiny capillary expanding with embarrassment. Her heart rate quickened, the rhythmic pounding echoing in my ears like a distant drum. She sped up, her movements hurried and awkward, trying to escape the moment.

I smirked unseen behind her.

We turned left again, completing the circuit back to the last room by the stairs. I felt a mix of excitement and unease. There was something about Autumn, something hidden beneath her playful exterior. As we stood there, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was on the brink of discovering something profound.

“This is my room,” Autumn said, pointing to a closed door. She opened the door and stepped in, all but closing the door on me. “Sorry, can you give me a second. It’s a mess in here.”

“Yeah,” I chuckled.

She shuffled around, bouncing back and forth across her large room. I heard her closet doors fold open, and then clothes being snatched up from across the floor. Then, they were thrown deep into the shadows of the closet.

The door swung open fiercely, revealing a slightly out of breath Autumn. She was smiling and holding her arm out, inviting me in.

“This is my room,” she said, “well, my room when I stay here. Sorry, it’s a little messy.” She continued organizing things as I walked in.

“Where else do you stay?” I asked with a quick charge of jealousy ripping through me. I hoped it wasn’t with Patrick.

“I have a dorm room on campus. I usually stay here, but sometimes I’ll sleep there if I have a lot of studying to do.”

Relief swept over me. The jealousy was gone, but in its place was a personal embarrassment. I was flustered. I didn’t have the right to feel these things about this girl. I had no claim on her, no real relationship, just the imaginations that I had conjured since meeting her.

“Oh,” I accepted.

She jumped on top of her bed and leaned back against the headboard. She pointed to the chair sitting just beside her bed, in front of a small work desk. I sat down, watching her watching me.

Everything about her was beautiful and entrancing. Her deep, calculating eyes, hidden behind her smirk, analyzed me with an intensity that I had never felt from a woman before. Through my enhanced senses, I could see the way her pupils dilated, the slight furrow of her brow as she assessed me. It wasn’t just her beauty that captivated me; it was the complexity behind those eyes, a maze of thoughts and emotions. She was observing me, watching for things. It was like a hunter version of what I did to people I was hunting, when I was searching for secrets.

I didn’t know if it was me or the monster within, but I wanted to leap across the space that separated us and grab her. The urge was primal, a desperate need to touch her, to be close to her. As she stretched out across the bed, her body became an irresistible distraction. Every muscle was tight and toned beneath her flesh, moving with a grace that was almost hypnotic.

Her scent was overwhelming, a sweet and intoxicating aroma that seemed to shimmer in the air. I could almost see it emanating from her, a tantalizing mist that beckoned me closer. My senses drank in every detail. The subtle shift of her skin as she breathed, the soft rustle of fabric as she moved. Her heartbeat was a steady, mesmerizing rhythm, echoing in my ears and drawing me in.

My face and ears grew hot as my blood surged harder with every second. I felt a flush creeping up my neck, my control slipping as the monster was rousing from its slumber. It pushed thoughts to the forefront of my mind. I looked down at the floor, trying to steady myself, to keep the desire at bay. But even then, I couldn’t escape the vivid details my senses provided. It was the warmth radiating from her body, the gentle rise and fall of her chest, the delicate curve of her lips. She was a siren, and I was helplessly ensnared by her allure.

“So, what’s your deal?” she asked quickly.

It took me by surprise, “What do you mean?” I looked back up.

“I’m sorry,” she apologized. “That came off rude. I just mean… are you really sticking around?”

Her phrasing made me happy. Was I going to stay with them? I wanted nothing more. Well, not at the moment anyway. I twisted around in my mind as I took her in with my senses again.

“Yeah… I think so,” I answered.

“So, you’re not too freaked out about all of this?”

“No,” I shook my head. “Should I be?”

She laughed, “Yes.” She quickly amended, “I mean… it’s just… you’re taking all of this so well. We all talk about it. Ever since we met you the other night. This all seems second nature to you like you’ve been around it for years, especially how you killed your first vampire. You didn’t hesitate. Most people lock up around the things we fight.”

“It was easy. I knew he was trying to kill Carter and your uncles, so I killed him.” I tried to make it seem simple.

She had a thankful look behind her eyes.

“We’ve just never met anyone that was so easily brought into all of this. Usually, there is a lot of confusion, fear, denial, and then we never see them again. But… not you.”

She stared into my eyes again. It looked like she was searching for something. I wanted to move close to her.

“So, you thought I wouldn’t stick around?” I asked.

“We thought you might have been in shock the first night. Then when you left the other day, we weren’t sure you were coming back.”

“What did you all think when I called your dad this morning?” I chuckled.

“Excited,” she answered too fast. “I mean… we all were.” Her face blushed.

“Well, I’m glad I came back,” I said, stretching back into the chair.

“We are too. I know this is all going so fast, and we haven’t really gotten to show that much yet, but my whole family really likes you. We want you here with us,” she said, sincerity in her voice.

The monster was being overtaken by the side of me that usually didn’t surface. It was my human side. It was the right side, not the dead husk I walked around in to hide the monster caged within. They wanted me here, and she wanted me here. I never dreamed I would be close to anything like this before. Not since becoming the killer that I was.

“It’s okay. I know I’ll learn as I go. I pick up a lot just by watching you guys.”

“Once everything settles down, we’ll start training you,” she wiggled her eyebrows, grinning.

I laughed at her excitement, “What kind of training?”

She mockingly looked at the ceiling like she was thinking hard, “Shooting, silver molding, knife fighting, hand to hand… whatever you want to learn.”

“Hand to hand,” I looked at her, sizing her up. She looked strong and capable, but I couldn’t imagine her fighting to the death with a supernatural creature. I liked the thought of her staying far away, as overwatch for the others.

She smirked, “You don’t think I could take you?” She shot out a hand, shoving my shoulder back, playfully.

It felt amazing, just to feel her touch, even if she was trying to instigate me into a fight.

I put my hands up in surrender and laughed, “Oh no, I think you can take care of yourself.”

“Oh, come on, that’s no fun,” she grinned.

I thought that it might just be me again, but it seemed like she really was flirting. I had been on my own for too long to really tell. I felt like a fifteen-year-old kid, stumbling around in my mind, trying to figure out this girl.

She fell back on her bed, just lounging on the edge in front of me.

“So, what’s the deal with the Talbots?” I tried to change the subject, too unsure of what I would do if we continued our current path.

She took a deep breath, getting serious, “Well… it’s definitely complicated. It’s really only one part of a bigger story, our story, of how we came into this life. I’ll try and keep it as simple as I can.” She slid down her mattress to sit on the floor, resting her back against the side of her bed.

Her smallest movements stirred her aroma through the air. It was hard to focus on anything but the shifts of her body, her slow, deep breathing, and the watchful gaze of her eyes.

“So, a long time ago, our family found out about the things that we now hunt today. We learned more over time, but the first blight that they encountered was the vampires,” she said.

“When was this?” I asked.

“In the 1820s,” she said. “Our family lived in a small village, east of Paris, far away from any big towns or cities. So did the Talbots, they were the nobles of the area. My family, however, they were hunters. They hunted anything that roamed the forests that surrounded them.”

“So, you’ve always been hunters…”

“Yes. Only what we hunt is different,” she smiled. “One winter, people started turning up dead. They’d find them in their own beds, in the forest, and in alleys drained of blood. No one knew what was happening. Our family tried to fight, but they didn’t know what they were fighting. That’s when the gypsy clans showed up; the Wicklows and the Grimwoods. They taught the Chasses and the Talbots what was hunting them. They showed them how to use silver as a weapon, how to flush out vampires that hid in plain sight. Together, the four families killed the entire coven of vampires that was terrorizing their village.”

“What happened to the Grimwoods? I didn’t see their name on the bestiaries,” I said, thinking back to the black books that packed an entire shelf of the Chasse library.

“Your right,” she said. “They had a falling out with the rest of us. The Grimwoods hated the Talbots, most of them anyway. They thought they were rich snobs who didn’t bring much to the hunt. The story goes that a Grimwood’s son was promised the hand of one of the young Wicklow women.” Autumn rolled her eyes, “Some kind of marriage to bond the families… you know, that kind of crap. Unfortunately, the girl had already fallen in love with one of the Talbot men.”

I was fixed on the story. I never looked away as she spoke.

“So, long story short, the girl decided she wasn’t going to marry someone she didn’t love and married the Talbot man in secret. When the Grimwoods found out about this, they were pissed. They thought that the Talbots had wronged them in the worst possible way. Hurting their bloodline or something.” She shook her head in dismissal.

“Just because the Wicklow girl didn’t want to be with their son?” I asked.

“They wanted to keep the Wicklow and Grimwood families together, keeping the gypsy blood strong between them. Their power, or sight, or whatever you want to call it, is stronger if they have two gypsy parents. They saw this as a way the Talbots could make their future generations weak,” she explained.

I nodded along.

“So, the Grimwoods put a curse on the Talbot bloodline. They turned them into werewolves,” she stated, observing my reaction.

“Wait…” I didn’t know what to say. “So… how did they do that?”

“They knew a lot from their travels. They picked up all kinds of things as they hunted across the lands. Plus, their own power was strong, strong enough to invoke some kind of ancient power, to curse the Talbots into what we hunted.”

“They can do that?”

“Yes… but probably not anymore. I think that kind of thing has been lost to them. Their power to “see” things comes from something supernatural. So, they dug down deep, into old knowledge that they hadn’t used in centuries, and learned how to make their power stronger, and darker. That’s how they did it,” she finished.

“So… magic is real too?” I asked.

“Sure… some kind of force is out there. Just think about the silver, how it reacts to all of them. Why does it do that; why do vampires burn in the sun, why are werewolves bound to the moon? Something controls all of it, and that’s what they were tapping into,” she tried to explain.

It was vague, but I had learned to accept much in this life. There was so much I didn’t know about how my own body worked. I couldn’t explain it, so I accepted it, just as I was accepting magic, or some form of it, as a genuine possibility.

I nodded again, wanting her to continue.

“So then, after they all realized what had happened, and the Talbots started turning into beasts, agreements had to be made. The Grimwoods were banished from our collective hunting family. They were turning into something unrecognizable, so the Wicklows took everything they had, all their texts, knowledge, and money. They were a bigger family so they could make the Grimwoods leave without a fight. The Talbots, however, left us of their own free will. They knew that they couldn’t control themselves, and they distanced themselves from us way back then. Once they learned to control what they had become, they returned… partly.”

“How do you mean?” I asked.

“They all left for America; the Chasses, the Wicklows, and the Talbots. They came all the way to St. Louis and have been here ever since. The Wicklows and my family stay very close. Everyone lives within driving distance. Everyone in my family lives on this same road, that’s why everyone is always over all the time. They just show up whenever they want.” She laughed. “But the Talbots stay away from us. Close enough that they can come if we need them, but far enough to be separate from us.”

“So, all of the Talbots are cursed?” I asked.

“No, actually. That’s the difficult part. The curse affects them randomly. The curse can grab hold of them at any age in life, man or woman,” Autumn looked like she was thinking of something.

I thought back to Jane Talbot. She said, ‘Tell Frank I said hi.’ I started to understand what had happened, and why Autumn didn’t want to talk about this in front of her uncle.

“Frank and Jane…”

“You’re observant,” she said. “Yeah, they were together before she changed. They thought that they were going to spend the rest of their lives together. Then the curse came for her. They were both only twenty when it happened, but they really loved each other. It still affects him, that’s why we don’t talk about it. It’s also the reason why he was back-up on Sunday when we went to see her. It’s difficult for them to be around each other,” she said, sadness for her uncle hid beneath her eyes.

“So, are they really that dangerous? Why did we have all of the guns if they are still friends of the family?” I asked, thinking it seemed unnecessary.

“Our relationship with them is good but strained. We never let our guard down around them, for our sake and theirs. It just keeps everyone on the up and up. It makes us all remember the reality of the situation. Jane actually requests that, if we come, we come armed. She doesn’t want anyone in her family or any visitors to forget what they are. She’s a good leader.” Autumn sounded like she was admiring her.

“Is Frank the oldest Chasse?”

“Yes,” Autumn answered.

“Is he married, or does he have any kids, girlfriend?” I asked.

“No,” Autumn said. “He’s alone. After she changed and they split, Frank went into a kind of depression. He was like that for a long time. My dad said that he used to be very reckless, hunting carelessly, even branching off and living with some of our cousins for a time. They do things quite differently from us. It fit Frank’s recklessness at the time. Finally, he came out of it and returned to us, but he’s never moved on. I think in some way, he still thinks of her as the person he is supposed to be with, even though they aren’t.”

I didn’t know what to say, “That sucks.”

Autumn nodded sympathetically, “Yeah… it does. When she decided to leave him, she never looked back.”

“She left him?” I asked.

She nodded, “She didn’t want to hurt him. They learn to control themselves most of the time, but full moons are a different story. Full moons completely transform them, whether they want to or not. They become raging monsters. She couldn’t trust herself around him on a full moon, so she left him.”

“What about what he wanted?”

“Well… Frank loved Jane. He didn’t care what she had become. He just wanted to stay with her, no matter what. Help her through it…”

I could see emotions cracking the tough exterior that she tried to keep up. She loved her uncle immensely. I could see the strong bond in her feelings. She composed herself and pushed up a more hardened front after she felt her cheeks go hot with a blush.

“That’s why he jokes all the time… you know,” her voice straining slightly, more emotional. “He tries to make light of situations, so people don’t see how he really feels. Sometimes I feel like he’s the most secretive person in this family. No one really knows what he’s thinking or doing at times. He shows us only want he wants us to see.”

I didn’t say anything for a second. I didn’t know what to say. I could tell it was hard to talk about, so I decided to change the subject.

“What about Martin?” I asked. “How does he fit in?”

She let the sadness fall away and started acting normal again.

“Martin is a strange person. He is one of the oldest vampires that our family has ever met. He first helped my family when my dad was only like six years old. So, he’s been around for a while,” she said, raising her eyebrows.

“What’s so strange, other than the obvious vampire situation?”

“He doesn’t kill humans like the rest of his kind. He stopped killing a long time ago, once he had seen past his thirst. He hated what he was, what they all were. So, he came to my family for help. He wanted to die,” she said.

“He wanted your family to kill him?” I asked. It sounded very familiar.

“Yeah, but they didn’t. They kept him locked in a silver cage, like the one on the lower level beneath our house. They watched him for weeks. They realized that no matter how hungry he got, he never tried to get out, he never tried to kill any of them. He just sat there, resigned to his chosen fate. He begged for death. He literally begged them to kill him.”

“Why didn’t they?” I was perplexed.

“They were going to eventually, but things happened, and he ended up saving them all. Vampires had found my family’s house, back then, and broke in. They found Martin in the silver cell and thought that they were going to teach my family a lesson by letting the vampire they were starving, feed on them. They corralled everyone in the same room as Martin, cutting a few of them to get the smell of blood thick in his nose. All the adults were being held in place by other vampires while they made Dad, Clara, and Frank open the cage. They were just little kids, and they were sending them to their deaths.”

I imagined everything as she spoke. My heart actually quickened as she unfolded the details.

“But, when the cage door opened, Martin just sat there. He was on his knees, motionless. My dad says that everything that happened was too fast for him to know what was happening until it was over. He just saw blood scattering through the air and bodies flying in all directions. He said it was complete chaos. Once everything stopped, everyone was still there on their knees, but the vampires were all dead. Martin was standing in a corner covered in blood. He saved them… he saved them all,” she said admirably.

“So now he kills vampires with your family?”

“More or less… Martin usually gives Dad information and then lets us do our thing. But every now and then, he joins us on a hunt.”

“So…” I tried to think of the words I wanted to say. “So, you don’t think all monsters are bad… worth killing?”

She looked at me with earnest eyes, slowing her response so she could word a thoughtfully tailored response, “Monsters come in all different forms. It’s not your existence that determines what you are, it’s your actions.”

Her words impaled me, cutting all the way to the monster that dwelled in my soul. Would my actions make me someone they could care for or someone they would hunt? I killed, there was no question about that, but I murdered monsters; human and supernatural alike. At least, that’s what I told myself. Maybe they deserved better than death, perhaps they deserved something else other than my absolute justice. Death was the only punishment I gave.

I nodded at her statement, lost in my own thoughts.

“Enough about us,” she said. “Tell me about you. I know you’re from Texas, where else have you lived?”

“Mostly, Texas. I just bounced around smaller towns with work. I just moved up here about a year ago.”

“So, you don’t have any family around here?”

I shook my head, “No, just me.”

“Friends?” she asked.

“Not really, just the guys from work. That’s where I spend most of my time, anyway.”

“Really, just work… that sounds… horrible,” she laughed.

I couldn’t help but laugh with her, “Yeah, life has been pretty boring sometimes. Until recently,” I added.

“So, what do you do in your spare time? You must have some hobbies,” she tried figuring me out, still grinning.

“I like walking around the city, exploring. It passes the time,” I said truthfully. I was tired of lying to her, so I dove at the chance for some kind of honesty.

“Is that why you were walking around that night when you almost got killed by those vampires?” she asked.

“Yeah, I was just roaming and went a little too far,” I agreed. It worked out perfectly.

She nodded, seeming content with the answer.

“What do you study in school?” I asked.

“I major in biology. I like to learn how things work inside of us,” she touched her chest. “I also use what I learn to test theories we have about certain creatures. We try to find out how different monsters react to different things, how they function, how they turn people. My major was my own choice, but it just happened to be useful to my family.”

“Nice, how much longer until you’re finished with school?” I asked.

“I could be done with my master’s degree in about another year or so. I’m usually pretty busy with school. Sometimes I ease off my class loads every other semester to help with the business or the hunt,” nodding as she spoke.

“So… what do you think about all of this? I know what you guys were saying in the car, but… does it affect you at all?” I asked. It seemed a little too personal, and I wasn’t sure if she would even answer.

She was silent for a second, deep in thought. She bit the corner of her bottom lip as she found her words, “It’s hard. We all act like it’s not, but that’s just because of how long we’ve been doing it. But it is hard. I worry all the time that something is going to happen. That someone will get hurt and won’t come back from a hunt,” I could hear the weight on her words.

“So, what do you do to get your mind off it all?” I asked.

“Try not to think about it too much,” she said quickly, brushing off the conversation. “I study, go out with friends, go out with Aunt Clara, train, and work with Dad. That’s how I pass my time.”

I think I came off as blunt on the next question, but I had to get it off my mind and just ask it, “What’s the deal with you and Patrick?”

She looked surprised, unprepared for my sudden charge into her very closed personal life. However, she answered me, “You noticed that… when?”

“I saw something the first night I was here. Patrick was talking to you at the door before he left. You looked annoyed, and he looked like he was about to start begging you for something.”

“Observant, again. I thought I got out of there before anyone realized what was happening.”

“I just caught a glimpse of you two, that’s all. It seemed like something was going on, something more than just two people talking.”

She rolled her eyes, not at me, at the memory of that night. “You wouldn’t be wrong. Patrick and I used to date. We were serious for a little while, but… I don’t know, one day I just didn’t feel it anymore. I broke up with him and went my own way. I don’t know what changed, but I felt different.”

“And he’s not over it?”

“No. Not fully, at least. I thought he was getting better, moving past it. It’s been weeks since the last time he tried anything, but then Sunday night, he pulled me to the side before his family left to try and get me to talk about ‘us’,” she air-quoted in a mocking way that seemed like a shot at Patrick. “I don’t mean to seem heartless, it’s just he and I have talked this into the ground. I’ve told him that its not happening and I don’t want to be with him anymore in that way. I don’t know why he brought it up again. I thought we were done with it.”

It was me. I remembered his face as soon as I was introduced to the family. He looked like he was declaring me a threat. I shouldn’t have any reason to feel this way, but I wanted to beat the dogshit out of Patrick. Him and that goofy little ponytail of his.

“How long were you together?” I asked. “Sorry, I just keep talking before hearing the words in my own head,” I apologized.

“It’s okay, really,” she laughed, smiling at me. “We basically grew up together, and we started dating, off and on, about three years ago. We spent a lot of time at school and here at home together, so we got close. Plus, I can’t really talk about my family life with most guys anyway, so we had that.”

Three years… it was a long time, but she did say “off and on,” so maybe it wasn’t even that serious.

“He thinks you’re going to get in his way…” Autumn smirked, being a little too honest.

I tilted my head as I looked into her dark brown eyes, “What do you mean?”

“With me… he thinks that you’re going to mess up his plans to get me back,” she laughed again. I liked the way she said it. The possibilities seemed almost real.

“Why would he think that?” I played dumb.

“You killed a vampire. He’s never done that. He thinks I’m going to find that attractive and forget about him,” she had a strange smirk on her face, staring down as she spoke. “Plus, you’re new, you’re strong, mysterious… he doesn’t know anything about you. I guess none of us do,” she taunted playfully, bugging out her eyes and leaning away like I was a bad guy. She made me laugh.

However, I was the bad guy. She should run, or I should. I shouldn’t have ever put any of them in this kind of danger. Patrick was right to fear me, even if it wasn’t for the right reasons.

Then, there was a knock on her door. We both jumped up from our seats at the same time, coming face to face between her desk and bed. We lingered there for a second, staring into each other’s eyes, not saying anything. I knew what she was thinking because I was thinking the same thing. Was Patrick’s assumption, right? Was there something between us already?

I felt it the first night at dinner, and then again in the living room, and the whole next day I spent around her. I felt something. That was obvious. But did she?

I could feel the heat coming from her body, we were so close. She slowly started moving her face closer to mine. I mirrored her actions, moving only inches as we both tried to determine what was happening. What was happening? What was I doing? I could feel her scent covering me as our faces almost met, it was indescribable.

The doorknob turned, and the door began to pivot. We both snapped out of the trance we had fallen in and separated ourselves. Neither of us said a thing. She looked confused, unsure of her actions. She took a step away.

The small Delilah walked into the room, holding a Barbie doll, “Auti, Auti, come with me outside. Everybody’s downstairs, reading boring books,” she made a look of disgust. “Let’s go play,” she begged.

Autumn tickled the side of her neck, “Aren’t you going to say high to Sam.”

“Hi Sam…” she said reluctantly, barely turning her head in my direction. She was too worried about going outside.

“Hello,” was all I said. It was too hard to be near the little girl. She ripped thoughts and feelings out of the dungeons of my soul. The thoughts and feelings that I kept buried the deepest. The ones that fueled and guided me. They forced me to be what I had become. She reminded me of why I lived my tormented existence the way I did. The reason I only killed certain types of people.

I gritted my teeth and struggled to maintain the flurry of anger, self-loathing, and torment that she brought out in me.

“Okay, let’s go. You lead the way,” Autumn said to her.

Delilah ran off, back out of the room.

Autumn slowly left where she had been standing, still unsure about what was happening with us. She looked back to me, our eyes connecting again, “Sorry,” she said, not about Delilah, about what had happened just moments before. “I guess I should go keep her company.”

“Okay, yeah, don’t worry about it. I’ll head down and see if I can help with anything.” I acted convincingly.

I wasn’t positively sure what she was apologizing for. Was it for having to leave our conversation to go with Delilah, or was it for what happened between us? Well… what almost happened.

She broke off her gaze and led me back downstairs to the rest of the family. All the Chasses had arrived.

I walked into the study, and she branched off to the back door with Delilah. She turned back slightly to look at me one last time before going outside. We connected eyes again for only a moment, and then she was gone.

I sat with Carter and Frank for the rest of the evening. We talked and read for hours. I learned more and more with each new page of the bestiaries. The varieties of monsters seemed endless. However, nothing matched with me, not yet anyway. We still had much to search through.

As I sat beside Frank, I felt like I could feel his internal torment. Every time he made a joke or downplayed the events that had been happening, I remembered what Autumn had said. I wondered what kind of hell he endured within his own mind.

Autumn and Delilah stayed outside for a long time. I found myself watching the door almost as much as I stared into the pages. I listened to the little girl running through the grass, laughing and playing.

It was hard to focus on the books, or Autumn, with the other things I was thinking about. There was a trove of memories that were flooding my mind after seeing Delilah again. I didn’t know how to make them stop. Memories and thoughts were breaking out, and I was in my own hell.

The mother of all of these memories came to the forefront of my thoughts. It was the trip I took about a year prior. The journey I took home, back to Dallas.