Monster

We pulled into the Chasse’s garage, spilling out and unloading some of the gear from the back. Carter left his equipment, and once Frank arrived behind us, put his gear in the back of the Suburban. They were dropping us off and then going somewhere by themselves. I didn’t hear them say where, but I figured they were going to Martin’s, the vampire bar. I wondered what Jane meant when she said he and Carter were friends. A vampire and a hunter being friends… I didn’t know much about their world yet, but that didn’t seem like a possibility.

We all walked inside their house. Eleanor waved me in while I walked to the door, treating me like I was one of them, like a friend. It was more than I deserved.

Carter kissed Eleanor and whispered something in her ear, she nodded. I had realized that I wasn’t listening in on any of their private conversations like I did with people on the street. I guess, subconsciously, I was giving them privacy, treating them like I would if I was human. I let the fantasy fill my reality like I could actually be a part of this family. That was a mistake.

“You did well today,” Carter said as he walked to me.

“Thanks. It was a little strange.”

“I bet,” he laughed. “We have a sort of truce with the werewolves. As long as they don’t kill humans, we won’t hunt them. We’ve had this arrangement for a while now, years actually. So, you can imagine why she reacted the way she did. You saw her eyes?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I answered.

“They can pull on the beast inside, summoning strength and speed when they need it, but they are never as strong as they are on a full moon. That’s when they fully transform. They aren’t human for those few hours in the night. That’s when you don’t want to meet one,” he warned.

“So, you believe what she said? That there is something else out there, killing people?” I asked. I hoped he didn’t.

“I’m not sure yet.” Thank God. “I need to check around. If it was something else, we don’t even know what it could be. So,” he looked at Autumn, “we need to do some research,” and then he nodded towards me.

Autumn nodded quickly.

“Frank and I will go to Martin’s and see what we can find out. Maybe these stories add up to something.”

“Good luck, honey. Be safe,” Eleanor said.

“We’ll be back soon,” Carter said as they walked back to the garage.

Frank spun on his heels, “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure he doesn’t hang out with his vampire buddy all night. Drinkin’ up all his red cool aid!”

It must have been an inside joke because they all laughed harder than I thought necessary, except for Carter.

“You do realize I have a gun…” Carter said, closing the garage door behind them.

Through the door, I heard a small thud. It was followed by Frank, who let out a howling laugh after Carter had punched him in the ribs.

I chuckled at the comradery; It reminded me of my twin brother, Seth. I missed him.

Could I get there, maybe one day have something that resembled true friendship, or even love? Could I ever have anything that resembled what I had with my own brother?

No. I realized that if they knew what I was, they wouldn’t want me around. They would want me dead. I wasn’t like Martin, the friendly vampire. I could never live without the kill.

Autumn looked to me, “You want to come with me to the library?”

“Yeah,” I said, snapping out of my haze at her words.

She seemed amused at something. I couldn’t tell what, so I just acted like I didn’t notice. Maybe it was just me.

Eleanor disappeared into another area of the house as we walked into the corner library. There, on the desk, was the black book from before. Autumn picked it up and handed it to me.

“This is the first volume of our bestiaries. This is the best place for you to start. I’ll be back here in a few minutes,” she said.

“Where are you going?” I asked, a little too quickly.

She grinned, “Well, unlike you, some of us sweat when we run around the woods. I’m taking a shower, and then I’ll be back.”

She noticed that… shit. I don’t think I could sweat anymore. Well, at least I had never gotten to that point since the change. Hopefully, she wouldn’t think too much about it.

“Okay,” I agreed with a fake chuckle, hoping she would just let it go.

She turned around smartly and continued out of their personal library.

I sat there looking around at all of the books. What did they have? It couldn’t be anything like a standard library. There had to be a supernatural connection to every volume on the shelves. I paced around, looking at all of the different titles, none of which I knew by name. Some were in languages I didn’t even recognize.

Above me, I heard the shuffle of bare feet on the hardwood floor. They moved around in one room for a few moments and then walked to another place. I listened to the turn of a creaky valve reverberate through the walls, and water begin to spray out of the showerhead. Autumn moved around, opening and closing cabinets, and then I heard the ruffling of clothes as she got undressed. She tossed her clothes to the side in a large pile, and then she tossed two lighter pieces of clothing aside.

I pictured her up there, what she looked like, naked. I could only imagine. I mean, she was gorgeous, sleek, and powerful. I wanted to see what her body looked like, with nothing blocking my enhanced eyes. I wanted to see all of her. I felt the monster inside push my mind in that direction. I wanted to go up there and close myself in there with her. I wanted her to want me to come up there.

I stood over the middle desk, above the black book, and gritted my teeth. I wanted this almost as much as I wanted the kill when I was at my worst. I didn’t know if this was a product of being alone for two years or another one of the hidden monster’s dark urges. Maybe it was a combination of both. I fought the demon back, overpowering the invasive thoughts by sheer willpower, making myself go numb. I focused on the book in front of me.

I actually read the front cover, “Chasse - Wicklow - Talbot - Bestiary Vol. I.”

Talbot? I obviously recognized Chasse and Wicklow, but I hadn’t heard of this name… Talbot.

I opened the book through the first couple of blank pages to an introductory note. It was written with an older hand of writing. It was elegant, more sophisticated than anything you see nowadays.

‘This is the Bestiary: an ongoing log and study of every supernatural creature that has been discovered. We, Chasse-Hunters, Wicklow-Gypsies, and Talbot-Accursed, bind together as one family. We fight back against the dark, and all that hides within.’

This answered the multiple questions I had. The Wicklow’s relationship to the Chasse family and what brought them together. They were gypsies, though… what exactly did that mean, and who were the Talbots? I turned the pages and found the first entry.

‘Vampires- They are the biggest threat we face in this age. The nightwalkers, as they are called, are exceedingly strong and fast. If you find yourself in an alley at night and stumble upon a vampire, run. Fighting one of these beasts on your own is a fatal error. They survive by drinking the blood of other living creatures. This process grants them incredible powers that they use to dominate and kill.’

There was a long list of accounts and reports below, more descriptions and details about their appearances, a few hand drawings, and a list of weaknesses and ways to kill. The Vampire section was quite a few pages long.

By the time I had finished reading through the section, Autumn was walking back into the library.

“Sorry, I hope I wasn’t too long,” she said, twisting the length of her hair into a loose ponytail over her shoulder.

I looked up, so engrossed in the book that I didn’t hear her coming back. She didn’t even look like she had just gotten out of the shower. I could smell and feel the heat on her dark hair. Her scent was sweet vanilla, or at least that’s what I thought it smelled like. It had been a while since I felt anything like her.

She was an angel, skating around the edges of my hell, placed there for me to see what I couldn’t actually have.

“No, I was actually getting pretty deep into this,” I said, lifting the book.

She looked over my shoulder, “Vampires… they were the first big problem our family faced. It was their threat that set us on our path.”

I had so many questions.

“This thing says that the Wicklows are gypsies…” I trailed off. “What does that mean?”

She had an unsure look on her face, “It’s hard for me to explain. They aren’t really hunters like us, but they do help us fight in their own way.” She tried to find a way to put it into words. “They see things. When they touch people or objects, or if they go somewhere that has some kind of meaning, or sometimes they just have dreams. It’s kind of random sometimes, but the older Wicklows can use it to our advantage. They can find people, see where things will be, get information. It’s strange to see them do it, but it’s real.”

Geez, everything she said only brought more questions.

“Can Patrick do it?” I asked.

She all but winced at his name, “Yes, but not like his father, and certainly not like his grandmother, Annabelle.”

“There are others?” I asked, only knowing of the four I met at dinner.

“Yes, they actually went to go see Annabelle. She lives out of town, about an hour away. She is the sweetest old woman I think I’ve ever known. You can’t hide anything from her, she always knows what I’m thinking, or what I’m going to do,” she smiled. I could tell she had some kind of close relationship with Annabelle, and she missed her.

Noted; avoid Annabelle at all costs. If she could see things, she might see me. The real me.

I flipped the book back over to its cover. I pointed down at the name and asked, “Who are the Talbots?”

“That’s… even more complicated,” she sighed. “It’s a long story, but the woman you met earlier, Jane,” she reminded. “Her last name is Talbot.”

I saw her eyes as she spoke on the subject. It looked upsetting to her for some reason. I backed off. I didn’t want to be another thing to bring her down, like Patrick. I changed the subject.

“So, what are we supposed to be looking for?” I asked, trying to be enthusiastic.

She grinned, excited at my acceptance of this life. Was she happy that I was here for other reasons? She just met me, why would she be? Stop hoping for things that won’t happen.

We read and talked together for hours in the library. We sat right next to each other at the small desk, in the middle of the room. We both leaned over into the black book. Our faces were so close that I could feel the heat of her pulsing blood emanating over me with each surge. Her knees would slowly relax and fall over into my legs every now and then, for a minute or two before she would realize, and then set them up. It was heaven. Autumn would get up and go refill our drinks whenever they were empty, trying to keep me comfortable. She didn’t have to do it for me. Just being beside her kept me happy.

We had made it about one-third of the way through the first black book, and the list of creatures got longer and longer the more we read. She was looking for anything that fit the story the alpha werewolf, Jane Talbot, had told Carter. The clue was vague; longer claws, that was about it. We searched for anything that had notably longer claws than werewolves. Every couple of pages was a new type of monster that I didn’t know existed. I was taking it well, which she liked. She told me multiple times about how she couldn’t believe how well I was taking all of it. The excitement in her eyes grew with every new thing I learned. I felt good around her, and I didn’t want to leave.

The list grew; vampires, werewolves, wendigo, shapeshifters, skinwalkers, manticore, chimera, gwyrms, all different kinds of spirits. Fuck, I almost couldn’t keep up. There were so many, and this was still just the first book. I looked back to the shelves of black books, and there had to be at least eight more of them. How did all of this exist, and I had lived my whole life entirely in the dark. How could anyone stay in the unknown with all these things out there?

However, after all the chapters we read through, we never found anything that fit what we searched for. I, however, was conducting my own search. Carter only had one piece of the puzzle, and it was a very unimportant one. Long claws, it was basically useless. I searched for comparisons between what I knew of myself and all the new creatures I discovered. I kept searching as we read, yet none of them fit.

I was still in the dark, without a single ounce of information about my own existence. None of these new creatures helped my Plan B situation either. None were notably stronger than vampires, except for the Manticore. Unfortunately, the book said that they hadn’t been around for over a century. Vampires had been the universal leader for overall strength and speed. So, I was stuck on both of my fronts.

At the moment, however, I didn’t care. I just wanted to stay with Autumn. She reminded me of Vicky and my old life. They were nothing alike, but the way she made me feel was what I felt with my wife… before all of this. I never thought I would feel it again.

“Let’s take a break,” Autumn sighed. “I can’t look at this handwriting anymore tonight. I’m starting to get a headache.”

“Yeah, sure,” I agreed. I already had an info dump for the day. I needed to go back to the factory and write down everything I had learned here. I could make my own bestiary. That was an idea that hit me in the car earlier. Maybe it could help me later down the road, for hunting purposes, my own hunting that is.

It was about four in the afternoon. We had been reading in the bestiary for about five hours as the time had flown by. Being with her did that to me.

“I should probably get out of here. I need to get some stuff together for work tomorrow,” I lied.

It was Sunday, and tomorrow was a typical workday for some humans. Since I was playing the part of a job holding human, I needed to keep up with the fictional life I led.

“You can’t stay for dinner?” she asked, an undertone of disappointment.

I wanted to say yes, but there was so much I had to do. I had to go back and take all of this in, figure out what it meant to me, how I could use this information. Also, I needed to start my own hunt. Except, I wouldn’t be hunting monsters, I’d be hunting criminals, murderers, rapists, and all the other humans that I deemed worthy of slaughter. It had only been a day since I killed, but being around humans all day, Autumn especially, made the monster stir. It wanted blood, it wanted death, and I didn’t know how long I could hold out this time. I had to find someone… something.

“No,” I forced myself to say, “I gotta get back.”

She nodded. “Okay,” she accepted. Although it seemed like she wished I’d change my mind.

I marked the page in the bestiary, closed it, and handed it back to her.

“Until next time,” I smiled, staring into her deep eyes, hoping that by some miracle, she thought about me as I did about her.

When she grabbed the book, our fingers laced together like they had with her knife. My heart started beating at double power. I thought it was going to punch a hole through my chest. Then, she slid her hand away, pulling the book from mine. She had a strange look on her face that I couldn’t make out. My self-hating personality thought she was embarrassed, embarrassed at the way I stared into her. I thought that she could see what I felt, and she didn’t feel the same. I was right; she wasn’t thinking the same things as I was. It was just my hopes again, wanting something I’d never have.

The garage door opened as I pulled my jacket over my shoulders in the walkway. Carter and Frank strolled back inside the house just as I was leaving.

“You headed out?” Carter asked.

“Yep, work tomorrow,” I lied again.

“Oh, piss on that,” Frank said. “Come work with us, then you can do this full time.” He acted playfully, but I could tell he was sincere. I liked Frank; he was easy to be around.

“Frank…” Carter said, cutting him off. “If he wants that, he can decide when. Sorry,” he apologized. “Do what you need to do, and whenever you’re ready to come back, call me.” Then he quickly added, “Or, come over again. You are always welcome.”

“I will.”

I gritted my teeth. It was hard to be around them. They accepted me, well, the version that I let them see. Still, I hadn’t felt like a human in so long that this was all striking me; the feeling of family and people who actually wanted me around.

“You learn anything from those old books?” Frank asked.

I grinned, “Yeah, just the first one, but it was… a lot. All those things are really all out in the world?”

Carter nodded grimly, “Yes.”

Autumn walked away, quickly without notice. She wanted away from me; I knew it. My mind grew silent to everything. The only thought that replayed over and over was that I’ll never have anyone.

Then, Autumn came back around the corner of the library.

“I’ll see you again tomorrow?” she asked.

I cocked my head to the side. Maybe I was wrong. Still, it was a stretch.

“Maybe,” I said, hopefully. “It might be a day or two.” I might need to satiate the beast before I tried for more time with them.

“You guys learn anything?” I asked Carter and Frank as I passed them on my way out.

“Not a thing. We talked to a few people, but they knew nothing, and Martin’s was empty. We’ll go back another time and see what we can dig up.” Carter said.

I wanted to ask about Martin, but I figured it could wait until next time. I just nodded along as he spoke.

“Alright,” I nodded to everyone, “I’ll see you guys soon, then.”

Everyone said bye, even Eleanor, who ran around the corner. Autumn was smiling at me again, the strange look gone from her face. She was hard to figure out. What was she thinking earlier?

I walked out to the garage, and waved again, closing the house door behind me. After I clicked it shut, I walked out of the open garage door and onto the street. No one asked me how I had gotten there, which was lucky because I’m sure it was only the present monster situation that had them distracted. I knew I’d have to come and go by a normal mode of travel before they asked questions. I’d figure that out later.

It was slowly starting to get darker outside. The sun began to slip past the horizon. It would be night soon, the perfect time to search for my next kill.

After a couple of miles of walking in the moonlight, I came upon a manhole cover on a dark street. It hadn’t been lifted in years. I pried on the metal disk with my enormous strength. It groaned and squealed as I uprooted the rusted cover. I climbed into the hole and down the ladder, pulling the old cover back into place. As it slid closed above me, the moonlight was severed from my view. It was pitch black, but my eyes quickly adjusted, matching the color of the tunnels.

I was back in my dark, silent world. No more friends or would-be families. I was back in my life. The only thing to keep me company was the monster that waited within.