Modern Awakening - A cultivation, LitRPG, apocalyptic novel

38. Death Over Ruin



As soon as a cultivator understood a single Concept, even barely, they reached the Fate Origin realm.

Reality was defined by Laws, which could be divided into Concepts. Understanding the fundamental truths of existence allowed cultivators to manipulate their qi in new ways and achieve incredible feats. For that reason, the Fate Origin realm was also known as the Wonder Realm.

Which wonders one could produce depended on the Concepts they understood and how they applied them. Fire Cultivators—those who understood Concepts from the Laws of Fire—might throw fireballs. Wind Cultivators might control the wind around them and fly. Light Cultivators might bend light around them and turn invisible.

All cultivators dreamed of reaching at least the Fate Origin realm, yet understanding a Concept at the Core Formation realm was so hard that most cultivators got stuck in it for all their lives.

Talent, learning ability, strength, none of that improved one's chance of understanding a Concept for the first time. One was as likely to achieve sudden inspiration by drinking a glass of water as they were in a life and death situation. As far as Shen's books had told him, the only thing that could improve one's chance was self-knowledge.

He could see the reason behind it now.

The Fate Origin realm was where one lay the foundations of their Path. Each person's Path was unique to themselves and their place in the universe. It required self-knowledge as much as touching the secrets of reality, and one was connected to the other.

Shen had touched on the Concept of Boundlessness of the Laws of Spear because that's how he felt, who he was, who he wanted to be. He had found release, he had found himself, in that Concept.

Self and Reality, man and universe, individual and cosmos became one, which let him understand a little of the secrets of existence for a brief moment.

The first thing Shen comprehended was that the Concept of Boundlessness was Boundless in itself. It was shared by multiple Laws. He couldn't name them, but he knew it wasn't a Concept exclusive to the Spear.

Some Concepts were like that. The Concept of Speed, for instance, could be found in the Laws of Light, Lightning, Wind, and probably others.

That said, what he understood of the Boundlessness was wrapped around the Spear.

The Spear was how he had chosen to achieve the ultimate freedom he yearned for. It would deliver him from the tyranny of the heavens. It was the ultimate weapon to break all chains that might limit him in the future.

As he connected to that Concept, he learned to use the spear in ways he had never thought of before. He understood the weapon like never before. For a brief moment, he became a Spear seeking ultimate freedom, and the universe whispered him secrets of how to achieve that.

And as sudden as the enlightenment came, it was gone.

Shen was ultimately too weak and too raw to understand more. There was more to understand, and that knowledge could've been his if he were more experienced, but he was no wiser than any young mortal. One had to tread the Path to see more of the Path ahead, and he had to use his acquired knowledge to understand it better and be able to comprehend more.

Everything had been too quick, but it had been enough.

The spear in his hand was the same he had been holding a moment ago, but the will behind it was as different as fire from water.

Qi left his arm and wrapped his G-tier spear, giving it a slight luster. The weapon became an extension of his will, not unlike a limb, yet also more. His qi now contained traces of the Concept of Boundlessness, and within it, the anathema to anything that might take his freedom away.

And now, he chose the freedom to live.

The qi surrounded the spearhead at the exact moment it hit the incoming metal ball.

The spearhead held.

The metal ball shattered into pieces.

One of those pieces was going straight for his eye, and Shen started dodging.

Ironically, one of the things he had been enlightened about was that being Boundless also meant not being controlled by his base emotions. His fury was a tool to be used, not the ultimate savior to surrender his life to. He had used it well, but dying because of it would be just stupid. Dodging constantly might feel limiting, but letting himself be controlled by what a single feeling told him was also a limit in itself.

But the heavens would have no more of that fight.

Shen had entered the Fate Origin realm, and until he either succeeded or failed his Heavenly Tribulation, he belonged to the heavens to do as they willed.

The vast room's ceiling exploded inwards as golden Heavenly Lightning pierced it faster than light could move. The lightning bolt turned into hundreds of smaller bolts that hit each and every piece of metal going for him, then all remaining spells, and finally the source of every single spell. Metal, magic, and bracelets; they all turned into motes of light.

Shen knew what was coming next, so he embraced his spear with arms and legs and threw himself to the ground over it.

And indeed, an instant later, he was being squashed like a bug by the very qi around him.

The Core-Origin Tribulation had arrived.

To tread a Path that touched on the secrets of Reality was a privilege for those who were willing to do what it took. To a cultivator, that necessarily meant having the power to back their convictions, for the first thing the Heavenly Tribulation tested was one's strength.

How far had they gone in the Core Formation realm? How well had they performed? Had they acquired the power needed to defend their Path from those who would end it by simply killing them?

Shen's answer was that yes, he could protect himself, but not thanks to his cultivation. He had bought the F+ stats that let him resist being crushed. Unfortunately, those wouldn't be enough for the next test.

For the heavens demanded no faint of heart ever dared to enter the Path Origin realm.

That second test could be cleared in two ways. The easy way was by properly finishing the Core Formation realm's steps. That would leave one with a qi-tempered body that could better resist what was coming. Preparation and patience were also evidence of one's determination and thus accepted by the heavens.

Unfortunately, Shen was left with the hard way.

The spear he was embracing shone bright, then started floating. The heavens were pulling it just as they were trying to pull his Path from him. To let go of the spear that symbolized his Path now would be to forfeit his Concept and not be able to touch it again unless he reached the Fate Origin realm with another Concept.

Unfortunately, shining and floating were not the only things the spear did. Shen had to use his hands—broken one included—to keep his body balanced above the spear as it was pulled. What was coming next required him to not just hang from it.

For the spear started erasing him from Reality.

Shen had little knowledge of Laws and hierarchies, but two Laws everyone knew about were Creation and Obliteration. Right now, the heavens were using the Laws of Obliteration to make everything that touched the spear simply cease to be.

At the same time, a sweet, sweet whisper let him know that he only had to let go of the weapon for all the pain to stop.

And Shen was tempted, for the pain of being erased was great indeed.

It wasn't just physical pain. It was something that hurt him on an ethereal level he couldn't explain. His very soul was hurt as it was erased, and his mind was brought to the brink of shattering.

The worst part of it was that it was slow going. The spear's shaft erased Shen very, very slowly. It imbued itself on his torso millimeter by millimeter, and the constant pain made him scream like a madman.

Shen's thumbs, which he had been using to hold onto the shaft, were the first to go. He had to keep clenching it until the weapon was deep enough inside him. Then he managed to keep his balance by virtue of how he had positioned himself. He still needed to fix his balance now and then with his forearms though, and they hurt for it.

He had to keep aware of all that while feeling unspeakable pain and being told it would be over if he let go.

The more time passed, the more he wanted to give in to those promises of sweet release.

'This is a dishonor,' he told himself. 'Dying here would be the end of the Feng line. Maybe I should let go.'

Shen clenched his jaw and resisted the thought the best he could.

'I'm binding my fate to an object,' he insisted. 'I should be free! Isn't that the whole purpose of my enlightenment, to be Boundless? Is this really the kind of Boundlessness I'm pursuing?'

Shen bit his tongue, hoping the slightly extra pain would help him resist the temptation.

'I'll have other chances to reach the Fate Origin realm,' his mind mercilessly continued. 'Better chances when I'm better prepared.'

If he completed all the steps of the Core Formation realm before trying again next time, it wouldn't hurt as much. His body would've been tempered by qi, which would make it resist the invading Laws of Obliteration slightly better. He would also probably be in a better state of mind rather than mentally and emotionally exhausted from fighting for his life.

Shen screamed to silence his thoughts, trying to be louder than things in his very mind. His throat bled. He kept going.

Even amid all doubts, he constantly repeated that that inner fight was the fruit of his weakness. Shen knew what the glory awaiting at the end of this Heavenly Tribulation was. He only had to resist. He only had to prove to the heavens he was willing to risk death for his Path.

And die he might. That part of the Core-Origin Tribulation would go on for exactly nine minutes. It didn't matter how well he performed; regardless of how much valor he showed, he might simply be killed before it was over.

Shen was honestly unsure if he would survive.

As the spear bit more deeply into him, his doubt increased. The Heavenly Tribulation kept him aware despite the heavy damage to his body. The spear ate through his skin, flesh, and even bones. By now, it was midway through him, and some of his ribcages were gone.

When it reached his left lung, he screamed so hard he became mute as his throat was too damaged.

Shen considered letting go of the spear. He seriously did. He only had to tilt his body sideways, and he would twist and fall.

But that would be denying himself in such a primordial way that he simply couldn't do it.

He walked the Path of the Boundless Spear. That's who he had found himself to be. When he had been forced to stare death in the face, he had understood who he was, who he wanted to be, and how to be. To give up on that was worse than dying. That's what he wanted to be the foundation of his Path, and letting the heavens take it away from him would be the greatest humiliation of his life.

Shen wouldn't be able to face himself in the mirror if he did that.

But if he died in this tribulation, he would face his ancestors with his head held high even after shaming them by staying alive. For he would've died a true cultivator death. Their line might end, but it would end with honor.

"Never compromise your morals for anything," his teacher had taught him.

Shen wouldn't.

"Acceptance, purpose, and honor are the keys to a fulfilling life."

And to a fulling death too, he guessed.

"A Path without any one of them leads only to ruin."

Shen would take death over that kind of ruin of the self any day.

So as the shaft was about to go through him and let him fall—a small part of him noticed he had been pulled all the way through the roof and beyond—he embraced it.

And when he realized that also wouldn't be enough, he opened his mouth and pushed it on the shaft. It burned his cheeks, and that's what he wanted. When he was about to fall for having no arms, he bit hard.

On the night skies of the second stage, a head connected to a diagonally cut armless torso bit a floating spear with all his might.

His teeth gave out slowly. The pain was almost worse than any until now. Only the first two remained, and they also started getting obliterated.

And yet he held, for that was everything he was and hoped to be, and he would never, ever, give up on that.

Suddenly, the pain stopped. Without warning, the spear stopped destroying him.

At long last, the Heavenly Tribulation had ended.

Shen had passed.

And now came the reward.

A golden pillar of light came from the skies and surrounded Shen. His destroyed body started to regenerate at great speed while Heavenly Qi penetrated every part of him.

His body was healed in seconds, and then the Heavenly Qi started purifying and strengthening it. His bones were restructured again, his muscles made even better than what the Multiverse Alliance had done. Even his mind reached a state of nirvana; the heavens had tried to take Shen's Path from him, but now, they strengthened his connection to the Laws of Reality.

That was the greatest gift of the Fate Origin realm; it would become easier for him to feel and understand Concepts from that moment on.

Shen had ascended in realm and physically, and now his improved self started descending slowly from the skies, back to the hole in the ground that led to the werewolf room.

He had only a G-tier spear in his hand, but he knew, without a single shred of doubt, that it would be enough.


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