NOVEL NEXT 19
Chapter 19
In the bathroom, hot water gushed from the faucet, the water level in the bathtub constantly rising, and steam drifting upwards.
Xia Baiyuan lay on the edge of the bathtub, his left hand submerged in the hot water.
During times like these, he would always stay alone in the bathroom; it was the only place where he felt safe.
“Hu…”
He exhaled deeply. There was something in his right hand, glinting coldly.
It was a sharp knife. Xia Baiyuan slightly tilted his head, staring at the knife without any expression.
He seemed to be looking at it, but his gaze was unfocused, pupils dilated, as if he were in a daze.
Only when the bathtub finally filled up, with water splashing over the edge and hitting his body, did his eyes regain focus.
The blade pressed into his wrist and made a small cut, a strand of crimson blood spreading in the hot water, quickly staining the entire tub red.
This should have been intensely painful, but Xia Baiyuan’s expression did not change at all. It was as if he were merely drawing a mark on his hand with a pen.
There was a faint smell of blood in the air. Xia Baiyuan indifferently picked up the knife again and made another cut on his forearm.
Two intersecting scars appeared on his fair arm, looking like a piece of smooth white paper that had been harshly torn, its edges jagged and ugly.
Xia Baiyuan paused, lifting his arm to examine the two wounds under the light.
They were exactly like those from before.
Back then, Xia Baiyuan hadn’t yet reached adulthood and was only as tall as his female father’s waist.
Standing in front of the mirror, his female father was brushing his long silver hair.
The little one in the mirror hadn’t fully grown yet, but his delicate features were already taking shape.
He shook his head from side to side, grimacing, “Female father, it’s too tight. You’re brushing it too tightly.”
The female father gave a soft “Oh” and loosened his grip slightly, but it was hardly enough to make a difference. Xia Baiyuan sighed helplessly, “Might as well just cut it off.”
“Absolutely not,” the female father decisively rejected the suggestion. “Your male father loves long hair; you can’t cut it.”
Xia Baiyuan pressed his lips together, remaining silent.
They had long been driven out by the male father.
Because he was a monster, the male father found him disgusting. His face was disgusting, his hair was disgusting, and consequently, even the female father became disgusting in his eyes.
But the male father couldn’t just throw them out for no reason; otherwise, everyone would know he had a monster child. So, he had to endure it.
Until that day, when Xia Baiyuan was sitting by the artificial lake in the garden, feeding the fish with breadcrumbs as usual.
The water surface was very clean, and it was windless that day, so he easily saw his male zerg brother sneaking up behind him in the mirror-like reflection of the water—
Instinctively, he dodged to the side, and the male zerg’s slow reaction caused him to fall straight into the water.
Xia Baiyuan didn’t rescue him. He didn’t see why he should. If he hadn’t moved, he would have been the one to fall, and his brother certainly wouldn’t have saved him.
The frail male zerg soaked in the winter lake for ten minutes before being fished out by the screaming servants, barely escaping death.
The male father and his female mate were so furious they nearly passed out, pointing at Xia Baiyuan’s nose and cursing:
“A monster is a monster! No heart at all!”
“Master, he pushed your precious male child into the lake. He meant to murder him!”
Xia Baiyuan retorted, “He tried to push me first.”
“How dare you twist the truth!!”
Thus, they were thrown out. The female father knelt at their door for seven days without food or water, barely managing to save Xia Baiyuan’s life.
The female father styled Xia Baiyuan’s hair into a high ponytail. With his bangs neatly combed, he looked like a porcelain doll.
The female father patted his head with satisfaction. “You’re the most beautiful of all your male father’s offspring.”
Xia Baiyuan pouted but fell silent upon noticing the abnormal way his female father stood.
To save him, his female father’s knees had been ruined, and they had no money for treatment, leaving him permanently affected.
“I’m going to earn some money. Stay home by yourself.”
Xia Baiyuan nodded, sitting on a high stool reading a book. He couldn’t read much, stumbling over many words and guessing his way through the story.
When hungry, he ate compressed biscuits, which were so hard he had to gnaw pieces off.
At sunset, the sound of the door handle turning came from the entrance.
Xia Baiyuan jumped off the stool, but after taking two steps, he froze.
The footsteps weren’t his female father’s, which were light and soft. Moreover, his female father had a key and wouldn’t be banging on the door.
Slowly, he raised his hand to cover his mouth, swallowing any sound, and retreated step by step.
Their house was simple, with few places to hide.
Xia Baiyuan squeezed into the gap between the bathtub and the wall, crouching there with wide eyes and a hand over his mouth.
He heard the door being broken open and someone barging in.
The intruder wore heavy deerskin boots with thick soles, clearly expensive.
Beyond that, he couldn’t see anything else.
The intruder rummaged through the house, but someone wearing such expensive boots wouldn’t break into a shabby place like this just for money.
Then he heard a greasy voice murmuring, “Where’s the little one hiding?”
Despite some differences, Xia Baiyuan recognized him immediately.
– The male zerg who had tried to push him into the lake.
In the intervening years, he had gone through the molting period and had become a mature zerg.
What was he here for?
Xia Baiyuan’s teeth chattered as an inexplicable fear enveloped him, making it almost impossible to breathe.
He curled up even smaller.
Please, leave quickly.
Don’t find me.
Don’t find me.
As the heavy boots walked through the living room, exploring every corner, and finally headed towards the bathroom, Xia Baiyuan could hear his heart pounding like a drum.
Worried that his heartbeat would give him away, he pressed his mouth and nose even harder.
“Ah… can’t find you anywhere.”
“Such a cunning little thing.”
His voice was like a snake’s hiss: “Let me guess, are you hiding here?”
Xia Baiyuan closed his eyes in fear, praying to the zerg god for his female father to return quickly.
After an indeterminate amount of time, the male zerg sighed in frustration: “Can’t find you, looks like you went out. What a wasted trip.”
The heavy footsteps left the bathroom and disappeared.
Xia Baiyuan remained stiffly curled up in the corner until his heart finally calmed down. Only then did he open his eyes.
A large face was inches away, with a cruel smile, high cheekbones, and narrowed eyes.
“So, you’re hiding here, little thing.”
Xia Baiyuan let out a scream as his long hair was yanked, pulling him out of the corner. His head was repeatedly slammed against the bathtub.
“If it weren’t for this hair, I almost missed you! You really made me search for you!”
After a few hits, Xia Baiyuan’s cries weakened, and only then did the male zerg let go.
Though still a young zerg, Xia Baiyuan was a female zerg, and a moment of inattention could lead to an attack.
Xia Baiyuan lay motionless on the floor, fresh blood spreading beneath him, with only the slight rise and fall of his breathing indicating he was still alive.
“A few years ago, I almost lost my life because of you, you little monster.” The male zerg sneered. “It’s my fault I didn’t understand back then why our male father called you a monster. Now, thinking back, letting you die would’ve been a waste.”
He grabbed Xia Baiyuan’s hair and lifted him up.
Due to the struggle, Xia Baiyuan’s clothes had come loose, revealing his pale chest marked with red patterns.
The male zerg’s eyes lit up with excitement: “It’s true… there really is such a zerg…”
Hot breath blew against Xia Baiyuan’s neck, accompanied by the sound of clicking tongue. Xia Baiyuan breathed shallowly, reaching towards the corner.
A sharp knife fell to the ground, the one the female father used to groom his hair.
“You smell so good…”
Xia Baiyuan grasped the knife.
“Let me see if you’re really like a female zerg, if you have that thing.”
The sound of buttons being undone filled the air, and the male zerg trembled with excitement, letting out a cackling laugh. But before the laughter could end, a cold sensation pierced his abdomen.
He slowly looked down, only to see the juvenile’s hand gripping the knife handle, the blade fully embedded in his flesh.
“You—you!!”
The pain twisted the male zerg’s face but did not kill him. His eyes turned blood-red as he grabbed Xia Baiyuan’s hair with both hands, intent on smashing him to death. However, the intense pain from his abdomen caused his movements to pause momentarily.
In that instant, Xia Baiyuan forcefully pulled out the knife and then, with a reverse motion, cut off his own hair.
The silver hair scattered, and the male zerg’s eyes widened in shock. “You…”
The juvenile’s delicate face was splattered with blood, yet it remained expressionless. No anger, no fear, no tears—just like a demon.
Summoning unknown strength, Xia Baiyuan pounced on the male zerg, kneeling on his chest, and raised the small knife high before stabbing it down forcefully.
The setting sun cast long shadows through the window lattice, their dark silhouettes stretching across the walls.
The juvenile kept swinging the knife relentlessly until the entire room was drenched in blood.
When the female father returned, the whole house was in disarray, accompanied by a strong smell of blood. His heart skipped a beat. He dropped the bread he was carrying and rushed in, struggling with his injured leg.
He found his child in the bathroom.
Xia Baiyuan stood amidst the chaos, holding the small knife. Seeing the pale-faced female father, tears finally welled up in his eyes.
But he was smiling.
“Female father, I cut off my hair.”
…
Xia Baiyuan took a sharp breath, as if waking from a deep dream.
The mirror reflected his pale face, the face of an adult zerg.
After that day, his female father hastily buried the male zerg and took him wandering from place to place. He thought it was all in the past, but it wasn’t until he reached adulthood that he realized it had never ended.
Whenever his estrus period arrived, he couldn’t control himself. He had to lock himself in the bathroom and inflict countless wounds on his body to barely maintain his sanity and avoid breaking down.
He tried to forcibly restrain himself, but soon lost consciousness.
When he woke up, he found himself alone in the room, surrounded by traces of his actions.
So, this was the real nightmare.
Xia Baiyuan lifted his head, his eyes unfocused as he stared at the ceiling.
All this time, he had still been hiding in that bathroom.
Yet, he felt so secure there.
Was it a prison or his sanctuary?
Xia Baiyuan couldn’t tell anymore.
————————
Meanwhile, Lu Xi was still in a state of confusion.
Lu Xi never thought he had overestimated himself.
He never imagined that he wasn’t a one-drink drunk, but a single-sip drunk.
He really only took one sip—just one!
It was all because the atmosphere was too intense, his classmates were too enthusiastic, and—he had to blame—he had to blame—
Blame his own foolishness.
His mind was filled with Xia Baiyuan’s watery eyes, always feeling that he was about to go astray—
He absolutely wasn’t just attracted to looks.
Back when he saw Xia Baiyuan’s disfigured face, his admiration for him surged like a tidal wave. His feelings for Xia Baiyuan were as clear as day!
How could it change just because Xia Baiyuan became handsome?
Impossible!
He, Lu Xi, would always be Xia Baiyuan’s fan.
Crazy for him, mad for him, crashing headlong into walls for him!
But people make up their minds because they have a premonition of an unstable future.
Lu Xi’s inner turmoil kept bubbling up.
Behind him, it seemed like dark purple tendrils were waving gloomily, pushing back the classmates who came to celebrate with him.
But Class 16 was a passionate class.
Lu Xi had earned their respect, so they wouldn’t be deterred by such a small setback.
He had to feel the warmth of spring!
“Gu Qing, go!”
Gu Qing was taken aback, dumbfounded: “Me? Are you sure?”
The class monitor gave him a look of utmost trust: “It has to be you. You’re the most shameless—most warm-hearted zerg in our class. You can definitely clear up his confusion.”
Gu Qing hesitated: “…What if I make him even more withdrawn?”
The class monitor sternly turned Gu Qing’s head, directing his gaze toward Lu Xi: “Could he get more withdrawn than he is now?”
“Go on, Gu Qing, he’s the hero of Class 16. We can’t let our hero be neglected!”
The class monitor’s voice was impassioned, and Gu Qing felt invigorated. He walked toward Lu Xi with his head held high.
He gave Lu Xi a smile as warm as spring: “My dear Lu Xi, are you having some trouble right now?”
Looking at Gu Qing’s face, Lu Xi suddenly felt less pressured, but he was still hesitant: “I can’t say it.”
Gu Qing took his hand, encouraging him: “A brave soldier fears no difficulty.”
But I’m not a female zerg.
Lu Xi shook his head and sighed: “You don’t understand.”
My idol is gravely ill, and I can’t control my zerg instincts.
Even though I pride myself on being a morally upright zerg—it’s still beyond my limits, making me feel like I’ve defiled a deity.
I’m filled with self-loathing; I’m a vulgar zerg.
“That’s how zergs are,” Lu Xi thought. “But I can’t say it out loud, and you don’t have mind-reading abilities like in novels.”
Sigh.
Gu Qing scratched his head. “How about a drink?”
Lu Xi felt even more dejected. “I can’t handle even one drink.”
Gu Qing solemnly picked up a cup, poured just a tiny bit of alcohol, and handed it to Lu Xi. “How about this?”
Lu Xi pondered for a moment, his expression as serious as if he were contemplating a matter of life and death.
And why not!
This concerned his dignity, his honor, and whether he’d want to pack his bags and leave the planet the next day.
Gu Qing looked at him earnestly. “Go for it!”
Lu Xi boldly tilted his head back and downed the drink. “Cheers!”
After Lu Xi set down the cup, Gu Qing eagerly asked, “How do you feel?”
The handsome, dark-haired zerg gave him an awkward smile. “It didn’t work.”
The next second, his entire body pitched forward, his forehead banging hard against the table with a thud.
Gu Qing winced. “Ouch…”
The classmates winced as well. “Ouch…”
Lu Xi was truly something else.
Now, they had to send him home.
But who would take him back?
While Gu Qing was worrying, a gentle voice offered, “I’ll take him back.”
Gu Qing was stunned. The blond zerg had already bent down, draped Lu Xi’s arm over his shoulder, and easily helped him stand up.
“I know where he lives. You all continue having fun.”
With that, he carried Lu Xi out the back door through the silent crowd.
Gu Qing sat back down in a daze, poured himself a drink, and gulped it down.
“If I had known,” he thought.
“If I had known.”
“If I had known there would be such a perk, I would have pretended to be drunk!”
“Ugh, a male zerg… Ugh, ugh!”
———
It was already snowing outside. Large snowflakes drifted down, settling on their shoulders.
With each breath, Lu Xi exhaled puffs of white mist that frosted his eyelashes, giving him an almost ethereal beauty.
Luo Zhao looked down, his boots crunching through the snow, leaving footprints behind. Seeing Lu Xi’s haphazard tracks, he couldn’t help but chuckle.
He hadn’t expected that being near someone familiar would make him so nervous, even in this situation.
Even though Lu Xi was right next to him, he couldn’t bring himself to look directly at him.
Only when Lu Xi was drunk did he dare get close.
From the look in Gu Qing’s eyes earlier, Luo Zhao knew he had misunderstood.
Lu Xi was an incredibly, incredibly important family member to him, but it wasn’t love, friendship, or kinship.
As long as Lu Xi was happy, he was willing to do anything.
Because Lu Xi was an inseparable part of his life.
If Lu Xi didn’t allow him to be close, he would stand at a distance, content just to watch him.
Finally, they reached the dormitory door. Luo Zhao asked softly, “Lu Xi, where’s your key?”
“Uh…”
Lu Xi, not completely passed out, took his arm off Luo Zhao, only to lose his balance and bang his head on the door.
He formed a right triangle with the door and the ground.
“The key… the key… the key is in my pocket.”
He fumbled in his pocket and eventually pulled out the key. As Luo Zhao reached for it, Lu Xi suddenly pulled his hand back. “What are you doing?”
Luo Zhao replied, “Helping you open the door. You need to go to bed.”
Lu Xi blinked and then asked a strange question. “What time is it now?”
Luo Zhao looked at his watch and patiently said, “Almost eight.”
Lu Xi frowned, sliding down the door to sit on the floor, mumbling something incoherent. Luo Zhao squatted down next to him, finally making out his words with difficulty.
“The door opens at nine. I can’t go back before then.”
Raising an eyebrow, Luo Zhao realized how deeply drunk Lu Xi was. Reasoning with a drunk person was futile; he had to follow Lu Xi’s logic. He discreetly adjusted his watch to an hour later and then pretended to be surprised. “I must have misread it earlier. It’s already nine.”
Lu Xi squinted at the watch for a long moment before nodding in a daze. “You’re right, it is nine. I can go back now.”
Luo Zhao opened the door for him. Lu Xi stumbled inside, and just as Luo Zhao was about to follow, the door slammed shut in his face, almost catching his nose. He touched his nose, shrugged at the key still in his hand, and then tucked it under the doormat before heading back, leaving footprints in the snow.
In the moonlight, his golden hair gleamed like the purest silk. As he passed a tree, he jumped up to touch the branches, almost slipping and ending up clinging to the branches awkwardly. He couldn’t help but laugh out loud.
———
Lu Xi shut the door behind him and squinted as he tried to untie his shoelaces but failed repeatedly. Frustrated, he gave up and let them be, noting the footprints he had left earlier on the floor.
He clumsily shrugged off his coat, calling out as he walked, “Xia Baiyuan, I’m back!” His speech was slurred, the words dragging out lazily.
A peculiar smell reached him, a sweet and metallic scent mixed with something fragrant. His foggy brain couldn’t process it, and he instinctively followed the scent. His heavy boots thudded on the floor as he moved.
A door blocked his path. He stood there, pondering for a while before remembering how to open it. As he pressed down on the handle and the door opened, the smell intensified.
“Xia Baiyuan?” He stood in the bathroom, surrounded by crimson stains, but the familiar silver figure was nowhere to be seen.
“Xia Baiyuan, where did you go?” he called out. “You’re still sick. How could you wander off?”
What if you die—? No, no, no, stop thinking like that! Even drunk, Lu Xi refused to entertain such thoughts.
He was so agitated that he took a large step forward, but his foot slipped, causing him to fall heavily to the ground. He lay there motionless.
From the gap between the bathroom and the wall, a pair of legs emerged. Xia Baiyuan sat there, covering his mouth. He was no longer the small child he used to be, and the narrow gap could no longer completely conceal him. His eyes were filled with panic, like a frightened deer.
After a long while, he finally crawled out of the corner slowly, silently approaching Lu Xi. The cold gleam of a knife flashed in his hand. His gaze was unfocused, but he raised the sharp knife high.
“Mm…” Lu Xi groaned, slowly opening his eyes. In his blurred vision, he saw a familiar silver figure.
“Xia Baiyuan…”
Xia Baiyuan froze, the knife’s tip stopping just short of Lu Xi’s back. Realizing what he was about to do, his face turned deathly pale.
“Lu Xi?”
With a clink, the knife slipped from his hand and fell to the floor. Lu Xi, still groggy, looked around and finally realized where he was. He furrowed his brow slowly. “Weren’t you sick? Why are you still here?”
Xia Baiyuan, sensing something, asked, “Are you drunk?”
Lu Xi nodded solemnly. “I wanted to tell Gu Qing that I want to kiss you, so I drank some alcohol, but I didn’t get a chance to say it.”
Xia Baiyuan’s eyes widened. “Huh?”
Lu Xi rubbed his head in frustration. “You’re too good-looking, so you can’t blame me… I’m a shameless appearance fanatic.”
Xia Baiyuan pressed his lips together. Lu Xi, though loose-lipped, remembered one thing clearly: Xia Baiyuan was still sick, and he shouldn’t be staying in the bathroom. What if his condition worsened…?
＝口＝ No way!!
He quickly got up and grabbed Xia Baiyuan’s hand. “You need to go back to your room and rest.”
Caught off guard, Xia Baiyuan was pulled a couple of steps forward before he recoiled as if bitten by a snake. “No… I can’t go out.”
He had to stay there for three hours. He couldn’t leave.
Lu Xi looked at him, puzzled. “Why—ah—”
He glanced outside the bathroom, realizing he had forgotten to turn on the lights when he came in, stumbling into the darkened bathroom. Could it be that Xia Baiyuan was afraid of the dark?
Lu Xi suddenly understood.
“It’s okay, don’t be afraid.” His gentle and strong voice broke the silence. Xia Baiyuan looked up to see Lu Xi standing at the boundary between light and darkness, reaching out his hand.
“Don’t be afraid, Xia Baiyuan. I’ll take you out. There are no monsters outside.”
“Because the monsters are afraid of me.”
Those crimson eyes stared back at him, filled with an emotion too dense to dissolve.
Lu Xi opened his mouth and said each word clearly, “Xia Baiyuan, I will protect you.”
It was like a storm sweeping through, or like a dam collapsing, an overwhelming tsunami crashing in.
The bone-chilling cold finally receded, the chill that had accompanied him from childhood to now suddenly disappeared.
Xia Baiyuan tentatively reached out his hand towards Lu Xi. As their hands clasped, a mischievous smile appeared on Lu Xi’s face.
With a sudden tug, Lu Xi pulled Xia Baiyuan down onto him. “Wh—”
In the darkness, a warm embrace enveloped his entire body, and Lu Xi’s voice sounded in his ears.
“See, I told you, there’s nothing to be afraid of.”
The body in his arms trembled slightly, and Lu Xi instinctively patted his back.
When he was a child crying, his mother always held him like this, gently patting his back.
Hot liquid dripped onto his neck, and sharp teeth slightly sank into Lu Xi’s shoulder.
Lu Xi winced but relaxed his muscles.
“Don’t cry, don’t cry.”
Ah, if he were sober, he would definitely be more cautious.
But he was drunk, so there was nothing he could do.
Xia Baiyuan curled up in his arms, his voice muffled.
“Lu Xi, am I good-looking?”
“Good-looking.”
“Am I… fragrant?”
“Um… yes.”
“Then, do you want to try with me?”
“Huh?”
Xia Baiyuan closed his eyes and found Lu Xi’s warm lips in the darkness.
Anyway, Lu Xi wouldn’t remember anything tomorrow.
Since he wouldn’t remember, it was all meaningless… It didn’t matter.
—