Chapter 33 Is it me or ‘me’ ? [OLD]
[Gundam Nova]
December 2nd, I.J.C 199, Elysium Academy, Training Ground 8, Mobile Suit Hangar.
“Here's your Black tea, My lady.”
“Thank you, Kalo,” I said to Kalo, the butler who prepared the tea for me, he smiled at me and then walked toward Sylvia and Klara. Giving their preferred drink, Sylvia is Milk tea, and Klara it is water.
She should have something more, it is not like it is her money anyway.
“Sorry, there is no place to have tea in the Hanger, so please don’t mind the sound,” I said to both of them, right now we are surrounded by several technicians, maintaining G-Alpha, right now. So the sound is…not very quiet and peaceful.
“W-well, I don’t mind, anyway! What is that Mobile Suit!? I've never seen it in the data bank before!” Klara asks, and of course, she asks about it.
“The Data banks used in the simulation are not accurate, there is a lot of Mobile technology in there but most of them are outdated, The faction wouldn’t allow their technology to be easily leaking like that. And as you can see, like in this case. G-Alpha is a new mobile suit that I designed, and with the Ottoman resources, I created it. Though I was not involved in any creation method.”
I explained to her, and she nodded, though she didn’t seem to understand. I watch as Sylvia takes out more sugar and sugar to add to her Milk Tea.
“Sylvia, adding too much sugar isn’t good for your health.” She suddenly stops, her eyes widen up and she turns to look at me.
“What did you say?” Hm? What’s wrong?
“I said, adding too much-”
“No, what did you call me just now?” She cut me off, well this is starting to piss me off…
“Sylvia.”
“Why did you call me that?” What's wrong with her? It is normal, isn’t it? I just call her by her name and-
Why did I call her by her name? I normally call her by a nickname. What the? I should never forget about that…
“Yoha? Are you ok?” I feel a hand on my head, warm, and soft, and there is no callus. I turned to look to see it was Sylvy with her face full of worry.
“No…It’s nothing, I probably feel sick from piloting.” I lied to her naturally and she brought it up without much thought. Sylvy is good at observing people, and she is good at digging too, but she is still just a child. If I just manipulated my expression and feeling to match it, there was no way she would notice.
“You're lying.” I feel my body stop moving, at the soft voice that comes from my left. Klara Nelson sits there, with her face still as water, glazing into my eyes. I could see the reflection out of those Violet eyes of hers and I could very much see right now, what kind of expression I was making.
“You're lying right now, and you know it. Something wrong with you after you get inside that Mobile Suit, no…it wasn’t after you got into it, it was after you fought with that gold head. There is something wrong.”
“There is nothing wrong. I can assure you of t-”
“You forgot her nickname, you used that polite tone on me and now you're lying. Surely, there is nothing wrong?” She cut me off, got up from her chair, and slowly walked toward me.
No…Don’t come here.
“You are lying to yourself right now.” Klara sat in front of me, her hands forcefully grabbing mine, unable to allow me to escape. “I don’t know what happened when you were in that mobile suit of yours, but that can’t be good. Because right now, you are starting to go back to the same Person who only lies and tries to use others.”
I look at Klara’s Pure Amethyst eyes shining like a gem, watching my reflection in hers. I could see it…the me who lies about everything.
“There’s nothing to worry about. Please excuse me, I would like to have a moment alone.” I quickly dismissed it and broke my hand away from her, breaking eye contact and quickly jumping out of my seat, floating toward the restroom.
“Oi! I’m still not finished- What are you doing Sylvia? Release me!” I could hear the sound behind me, but right now I need time with myself. Otherwise, I will break. I can’t Break. Mama is this close, I just need to become the ace.
Quickly arriving at the restroom, I quickly lock it off, this is the private restroom for students, and in the hangar, there are only 3 students here.
I arrive at the mirror, looking into myself, watching Myself. The little bag under my eyes that I hid with makeup, the hair that was messy with the end that was dried as Sahara desert…Oh, the Sahara desert isn’t dried anymore, Earth Conglomerate fills it up with trees and others making it into an artificial forest.
I quickly wash my face and see the Me. in the mirror disappear, instead, what I saw right now was the little girl, crying her eyes out.
“Really…Schizophrenic? Heh, Get the fuck out already. I’ve no place for a little girl, right here.”
“So…Are you going to deny yourself from the past?” I heard a familiar voice, the voice of a man I knew, only I knew. Turning around I could see a man in his late 20s, sitting with his back against one of the restroom doors.
“It's fun, isn’t it? Using your talent to crush down people, flying through the sky on your dream machine? It's so fun that you forgot about your life, isn’t it?” He asks me, and I sit on the floor. Turning to face him.
“Yeah, it's quite fun, you know? I really hope that you can experience it…At first, when I came into this world, I thought I was You. Stolen the body of Yoha Milas Revory. But right now…I’m not really sure. Most of my memory before my reincarnation is almost nonexistent, I faintly remember about you but I forgot most about you.”
I said to myself, watching slowly as the Man in front of me, slowly disappeared into dust. The first to slowly crumble was his hand.
“I see, You should enjoy yourself more, for me and for you.”
“I tried, you know? I tried, but every time…every freaking time…I always…I-i…always think of her. I can’t let go of her, I didn’t even know if she was alive but…my mind is telling me she is dead but my heart is telling me otherwise.”
“That's normal…I think? I don’t know, but my time is almost over. You're going to forget about me again and will live your life as if we never had this conversation.”
“Heh, nice! I didn’t know schizophrenia was this convenient…Hey…Will I…get better?” At my last question, the man in front of me just smiled and slowly disappeared.
[Gundam Nova]
Klara’s POV
“Oi! Why did you stop me!? Don’t you see she needs help?!” I scream at Sylvia whose hand tightly grabs mine, even though she is such a weak girl, somehow her strength overpowered me at the moment.
“Yoha is a strong girl, she will come back,” Sylvia said…Strong? Strong!?
“Strong my ass! She just hides her feelings! Slowly killing herself alive! She would just! Just! Turn out like those adults if she keeps up like that!” My scream attracted the attention of the nearby worker, but they ignored me and continued their maintenance over that Mobile Suit.
Sylvia's grip tightened, but it did not hurt. “I know that!…but…but I can’t…do anything…” She started to sob, her tears were coming out of her eyes. “She…strong…but she…never opens up to anyone…When I saw you…I realized…that you…could help Yoha…but! She needs alone time! T-then she would come back! Sh-she would be Yoha Again!”
Sylvia said, her voice cracking and stuttering, and her crying just made everything more incoherent.
“So you just allow her to be alone…” She was just a kid, just like me. So she didn’t know what to do, her pervert attempt may be her way of cheering Yoha up. “I see…” I broke off her grip and then jumped off toward where I last saw Yoha go. “You…were a good friend, at least the best you can be, but it won’t help her like that. She needs someone to be with her.” That was the last I said before I left the Hangar and started looking for Yoha.
Floating through the hallway, I really wonder, why don’t they turn on the gravity? You know spinning around isn’t really good for me, or for my head in general, also why is the hallway so long!?
Just as I was about to turn left, I noticed the patch of blue I was familiar with.
“Yoha!” I call out and the patch of blue hair stops, she turns around and looks at me with a smile.
“What are you doing here? I thought you would wait at the table.” She spoke like nothing happened, smiling like nothing happened.
At that, I couldn’t even speak…why was she acting like nothing happened?
“Come on, let’s go back, Sylvy is waiting. Or do you want to use the restroom? I can take you there.” Her hand touched mine, and it was cold, her face was perfectly normal, her voice was brimming with confidence and her eyes reflected nothing that would indicate sadness.
So…this is what she means…when she will go back to the normal Yoha…This is…wrong…this is…
“Are you ok? You don’t look so good. Should I take you to the infirmary?” Yoha’s voice.
“No…It's ok…let go back.” My hand tightens around…I don’t know…what to do…What would Mother Clair do…I need to talk to her. I need to…